Men’s Rights Activists and other warriors against cultural misandry often complain that women accuse them of being creepy, not because they’re genuinely creepy but just because they’re men, men guilty of no crime other than not looking like Brad Pitt.
One of these fellows took to the Men’s Rights subreddit recently with a sad tale of being unfairly profiled as a creeper just because he was lurking in a truck in the parking lot of a pharmacy until after the store closed, hoping he could chat up one of the store employees while she was walking to her car.
I know, totally unfair!
Here’s his sad tale, in his own words:
I was in a small town in NJ, spending the night in my truck waiting for a job in the morning. I park at corner pharmacy lot. I go in once and buy my items. Checkout girl is cute, make up a reason to go back in. We chat for a few seconds at most. I go back to my truck to browse the ol Reddit. Place closes at 10. I’m kinda hoping the checkout girl comes out so we can chat some more.
Yeah, yeah, I know, some of you gals have already decided he’s a creep. Isn’t a guy allowed to buy something from a cute checkout girl, to leave the store to go back to his truck, then return to the store on a pretext to chat with the cute checkout girl, then go back to his truck and just, you know, lurk there until the store closes reading his smart phone? Seriously, who could possibly find any of that suspicious?
At 10:05 pm 3 cops surround my vehicle and demand identification, claiming the employees of pharmacy we’re afraid to go to their vehicles because of a suspicious work truck with a big scary man in it.
GOSH HOW COULD ANYONE BE SUSPICIOUS OF HIM. Clearly there is some big time misandering going on here.
Obviously they want to delay me so the employees can get safely out. That is somewhat understandable, but God damn, I go out of my way to not be creepy around women, as I am a very big person.
And what an amazing job he did this time not being creepy!
What is it like to be a woman? Are you constantly afraid of being raped everywhere you go? Kidnapped? Murdered? I exchanged maybe a dozen words and a friendly smile with a cute cashier and I immediately got the cops called on me. Fuck.
Yeah, it’s not as if you WENT BACK INTO THE STORE ON FALSE PRETENSES SO YOU COULD TRY TO CHAT HER UP and then got into your truck and DIDN’T LEAVE. AT NIGHT. WHEN THE STORE WAS CLOSING.
The cops have been here for 30 minutes parked right next to me as I type this. It seems like all men are guilty until proven innocent…
CREEP RIGHTS NOW!
I can’t help but think of this scene from Tucker and Dale vs Evil.
In Dale’s defense [Spoiler alert!] he doesn’t immediately run to the Men’s Rights subreddit to whine about misandry, and despite taking the bad advice of his friend here he does turn out to be a genuinely good dude who honestly doesn’t want to creep anyone out.
He’s also got a little bit more self-awareness than our friend in the truck. Can Reddit truck dude even be real, or is this actually some kind of masterful trolling?
Most of the Men’s Rights redditors commenting on the story actually do tell him he was acting creepy as hell, so I’ll give them a few points for that.
@Fran
Not as such, but I have to admit, I tend to find myself thinking about you in… not entirely sisterly ways.
Not just the spiro, but yeah, that’s what I’m saying.
My thighs have thickened way up on hormones, but I was a stick figure before. Generally speaking, hormones are gonna soften all your sharp edges, and add curves all over the place.
@Dalillama & Francesca
Yay for softening sharp edges! On a bad note, apparently my doctor has refused to renew my hormone prescription. However, I was using the family pharmacy and was prescribed this by a specialist, so it’s possible they contacted the wrong place. You know, go by what’s in the files instead of what’s on the fucking bottle. I’ll call places tomorrow, starting with the specialist, then the pharmacy, and if I have to the family doctor.
I have to second this, for both of y’all. For what it’s worth.
@Dali
That sounds lovely.
Great! I’m really looking forward to this.
@Sandra
I hope you can get your scripts soon. If I didn’t know better, I’d ascribe their refusal to plain old malice, because transpeople are everyone’s favorite fucking punching bag right now.
@Sandra
@Dali
Why, thank you.
I have felt very much the same way towards you two. I’m glad to hear that my feelings are reciprocated.
I’d quite enjoy hearing more about this matter…though, perhaps, in a more private setting?
@Sandra
Well, wasn’t gonna say anything, on account of your comments about not looking just now, but…
@Fran
Also my hips and ass.
I’m not sure I’ll take it on faith that it’s not malice, tbh.
Any setting in particular? I have accounts with most of the usual messaging services, if I can remember my login info. And email and such.
@Sandra
@Dali
I was also concealing my attraction to Sandra since she said she wasn’t really looking for that kind of thing right now, but I guess I blew it with my intensely personal questions and now she knows I’m interested.
Um, I’ll contact you on your forum via PM with my deets. I hope she reaches out to us as well. I’m quite looking forward to it.
@Dali
unf
@Dalillama & Francesca
There’s two things that could have happened. I was prescribed hormones by a specialist, without the knowledge of my family doctor…cause really. Fuck him.
So, despite the fact that the name of the prescribing doctor is literally on the medicine bottle, the pharmacy could have contacted the family doctor instead. Who would, without any knowledge of the situation, or possibly with malice, deny my hormones. That’s as simple as getting the pharmacy to talk to the right doctor.
If they actually did talk to the specialist, that’s a bit more of a problem. I’m going to operate on the assumption they talked to the family doctor because that’s the easier problem to test for.
I talked to the pharmacy. I don’t have any concrete answers.
On the plus side, I have a full in-theatre rehearsal for Rocky Horror tomorrow night <3
I…feel really bad saying this, but contemplating doing this is making me panic a bit. Thought I was ready to do something like this otherwise I wouldn’t have said that, really don’t think I am now. Sorry.
@Sandra
Don’t feel bad! I’m glad you entertained the prospect for a sec, at least.
I’ll be here whenever you want to seek me out, have no fear.
Besides, I kinda wanted to get myself sorted out hormone-wise. This gives me time to prepare.
@Fran
That hadn’t even occurred to me. Good plan 🙂
@Sandra
Fingers crossed for an easy resolution.
Cool!
No worries. You’re still welcome in the Bad Girls club 🙂
@Sandra
If it means anything, it’s a perfectly natural reaction. I felt similar when Dali first propositioned me… 🙂
@Francesca
Heh. Me too.
@Dalillama
Yay!
@Axecalibur
To intimacy and attraction after numerous traumatic experiences related to all of the above? Yeah. I have my cat now, though. He makes things better.
@Jesalin
After I got adjusted to sleeping in a corset, waist training was suddenly MUCH easier. 😛 I don’t lace down as much for overnight waist training, but it’s mostly just maintenance for me now. Been at it for years.
I have a patent leather waspie but no leather corsets – most places use ‘vegan’ leather anyway and it doesn’t quite mold to the body very well. The affordable leather options aren’t ideal silhouettes for my dimensions and figure type so I stick with the variety of mesh/satin/brocade/cotton/cashmere. 😛
@Axe
You didn’t tell me Dali came on to you.
So it’s like that, eh? Ha ha! Eeeeeexcellent.
[Steeples fingers together mischievously]
We’re going to get along splendidly.
@Axe
You make me sound like some terrifying succubus. 😛
@Sandra
Yay for kitty.
@Fran
Just enough to get his attention.
Oh my…
@Sandra
Wish I could have a cat. [Pout]
I bet yours is nice and fluffy.
@Dali
Haha! Don’t worry, I’m not going to get fresh with you…Well, more fresh than I already have…Unless you like that sort of thing.
I’m just amused you sought out Axe and then myself. I’ll tell you why soon when we have a moment; I’m sure Axe already picked up on why I’m so tickled by this, so he might beat me to it. 😀
@Sandra
Yeah, sorry. I was more talking about the feeling that there’s not enough air and that you’ll never stop shaking and your bones are suddenly 500lbs. Worded that the worst way possible tho, didn’t I? <3
Aminals are just the best. Glad you’ve got a fuzzy wittle fweind! They do make things better…
@Fran
I wasn’t gonna make the 1st move, was I? 7 months this past Sunday 🙂
@Dali
Bullshit! How’d you put it? Summat like ‘dragged me in with a net’? XD
@Dalillama
Not gonna lie, I wanna dress up as a succubus next Halloween.
@Francesca
He is. He’s also an asshole, and literally the only guy I like <3 He's technically a stray who wandered in and never left, but he stays up with me.
….I’m gonna hear about you lot on the news, aren’t I?
@Axe
I cannot argue with that!
@Sandra
Well, I should hope you hear about me…In a positive way, when I finish my beautification and become a famous transgirl model like Laverne (giggle) Cox.
I’ll need you guys to give me an appropriate humorous modeling name of that sort.
@Fran
Flirtation is like lettuce: best when it’s freshest.
I have my suspicions…
@Axe
Well, yes. Like I said, enough to get your attention. Not my fault you weren’t very attentive 🙂
@Sandra
Me too! We could do a group costume.
Working on it.
@msexceptiontotherule
That’s exactly what I want to do. The last corset I had wasn’t all that great especially comfort-wise, but with my budget I’m kinda constrained to off-the-rack stuff. I’m hoping to get a new one soon-ish so I can restart my barely started waist training, although with the weight I’ve gained lately, I’m not sure if it would even help.
@Sandra
@Dali
Room for one more? I’ve got an idea already lined up; I choose Astaroth as my costume.
She has different-colored skin so it suits me.
ETA:
Can’t decide if I want to be Astaroth or Asmodeus.
Asmodeus is tougher and more boyish, like me.
@Francesca & Dalillama
Sure! We can go as a trio. Succubi are demons, and demons are powerful, so badass Succubi completely fit.
I’m not totally sure what my costume would look like.
Also OT: I got the job! I’m feeling a bit of emotional whiplash.
I went out in jeans and boots and a button up shirt and put my hair in a lazy ponytail, just completely fitting the image of some white upper-class Good ‘ol boy, and it is amazing how much nicer to me everyone was. Store clerks, the interviewers, and I didn’t feel once like people were evaluating me as a target.
Steel-toed boots aren’t abnormal for me, but I normally prefer skirts and t shirts. It’s so fucking weird now, and definitely evidence of male and male-passing privilege. Also white privilege.
@Fran
Sounds good to me! Also, I quite want the outfit Astaroth is wearing. Not necessarily for this costume, just in general.
I think I could rock this one:
http://www.aidedd.org/dnd/images/succubus.jpg
@Sandra
Congratulations! I’m going in to try for a new job Sunday.
I remember that feeling…
I haven’t worn pants in two years now, aside from leggings. (and a pair of pjs for around the house in winter)
@Sandra
I’m so glad you got it. Yay for you!
I’m sure it must have been fucking terrible to have to be wearing male clothing. That is my nightmare of a life right now. It’s perfectly awful and I hate it.
Right now I would be wearing yoga pants and a tank top if it were up to me, but…Stuff.
It probably also triggered all sorts of awful conflicting feelings and made you question yourself, much as I did when I saw the the “UM SWEATY. MAYBE YOU’RE NOT RLY TRANS (:” people at Laura’s place.
I really think society applies pressure on us to not be true to ourselves.
Your story reminds me of a thing I was gonna tell y’all.
I was at the 7-eleven the other day and a transwoman was there.
I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an asshole; I’m sure you’ve heard them, these grandstanding assholes who bellow “I CAN SPOT A T-WORD FROM A MILE OFF! I WILL NEVER BE TRICKED BY A T-WORD! I KNOW WHAT REEEEEEAL WOMEN LOOK LIKE!”
I never really considered or figured on ‘tricking’ men into my repertoire, but by Goddess, sometimes I’m tempted to become the most passable woman ever just so that I can fuck one of these dudes and then reveal myself.
I won’t. It’s just a silly revenge fantasy.
Anyhow…The poor dear I’m talking about was not passable at all. I’m talking stubble on her chin and no breasts to speak of, wide shoulders, slender hips, etc.
Now, it’s entirely possible she may have been an exceptionally masculine cis lady. There are ciswomen who have facial hair, after all.
But what struck me was how people were recoiling from her as though she were a demibeast-like creature, or a kobold. Others were just staring at her.
It was simply awful the way other people were behaving.
However…She was wearing a tight leather miniskirt, a leather top, and leather boots with high heels, and just clearly did not give a fuck about how upset other people were.
I was so proud of her. Anyway, the moral of the story is that people can be so terrible, and they do really single us out.
@Dalillama
I keep a few pairs of jeans because sometimes I help my dad in the garage or do yardwork, painting…other stuff I’d rather get jeans dirty for. But if I have the choice, it’s pajamas or skirts.
@Francesca
It was. It feels weird and wrong. But people treat me a lot better, including my parents. Although they may just be happy I got the job. I haven’t done this experiment in isolation yet.
…It actually did. It felt good not to have a giant target painted on me. It felt really good. And I reminded myself that I did, at one point, learn how to effectively use aspects of male privilege to get me in the door and taken reasonably seriously. So I did question myself. Ugh.
Yeah. They do treat us like that. And I’m more likely to look like her than like, say, Madonna. But most people don’t look like Madonna. It gets so fucking wearing being the thing in the corner. The monster everyone’s scared of.
Hell yeah <3 She sounds like a fucking badass.
@Sandra
Left to my own devices, I’d just do what she was doing, but I’m a fucking coward.
Or am I? See, I’ve just been trying to shed a few pounds extra before I try it out.
I may very well start dressing as female even before I got the ‘mones. As I said earlier I’m sick and tired of stifling myself and playacting at being a male. It gives me the same bad vibes you got.