Men’s Rights Activists and other warriors against cultural misandry often complain that women accuse them of being creepy, not because they’re genuinely creepy but just because they’re men, men guilty of no crime other than not looking like Brad Pitt.
One of these fellows took to the Men’s Rights subreddit recently with a sad tale of being unfairly profiled as a creeper just because he was lurking in a truck in the parking lot of a pharmacy until after the store closed, hoping he could chat up one of the store employees while she was walking to her car.
I know, totally unfair!
Here’s his sad tale, in his own words:
I was in a small town in NJ, spending the night in my truck waiting for a job in the morning. I park at corner pharmacy lot. I go in once and buy my items. Checkout girl is cute, make up a reason to go back in. We chat for a few seconds at most. I go back to my truck to browse the ol Reddit. Place closes at 10. I’m kinda hoping the checkout girl comes out so we can chat some more.
Yeah, yeah, I know, some of you gals have already decided he’s a creep. Isn’t a guy allowed to buy something from a cute checkout girl, to leave the store to go back to his truck, then return to the store on a pretext to chat with the cute checkout girl, then go back to his truck and just, you know, lurk there until the store closes reading his smart phone? Seriously, who could possibly find any of that suspicious?
At 10:05 pm 3 cops surround my vehicle and demand identification, claiming the employees of pharmacy we’re afraid to go to their vehicles because of a suspicious work truck with a big scary man in it.
GOSH HOW COULD ANYONE BE SUSPICIOUS OF HIM. Clearly there is some big time misandering going on here.
Obviously they want to delay me so the employees can get safely out. That is somewhat understandable, but God damn, I go out of my way to not be creepy around women, as I am a very big person.
And what an amazing job he did this time not being creepy!
What is it like to be a woman? Are you constantly afraid of being raped everywhere you go? Kidnapped? Murdered? I exchanged maybe a dozen words and a friendly smile with a cute cashier and I immediately got the cops called on me. Fuck.
Yeah, it’s not as if you WENT BACK INTO THE STORE ON FALSE PRETENSES SO YOU COULD TRY TO CHAT HER UP and then got into your truck and DIDN’T LEAVE. AT NIGHT. WHEN THE STORE WAS CLOSING.
The cops have been here for 30 minutes parked right next to me as I type this. It seems like all men are guilty until proven innocent…
CREEP RIGHTS NOW!
I can’t help but think of this scene from Tucker and Dale vs Evil.
In Dale’s defense [Spoiler alert!] he doesn’t immediately run to the Men’s Rights subreddit to whine about misandry, and despite taking the bad advice of his friend here he does turn out to be a genuinely good dude who honestly doesn’t want to creep anyone out.
He’s also got a little bit more self-awareness than our friend in the truck. Can Reddit truck dude even be real, or is this actually some kind of masterful trolling?
Most of the Men’s Rights redditors commenting on the story actually do tell him he was acting creepy as hell, so I’ll give them a few points for that.
@Kale
This sounds like we have what amounts to an experimental group of people confirming that men harass feminine people, and don’t harass masculine people.
@Policy of Madness
The first one isn’t. I can’t get my friends to get rid of the second one, but when I stand up for myself, they back me instead of him. I’m getting close to making it clear that they’re choosing between him or me because of the results of his choices. He’s kind of a member of the same Rocky Horror cast, but there are members of cast who are never invited to our afterparties. He needs to be on the never-invite list.
Bingo.
In feminist writing, it has a name – a rape schedule. It’s all the little, often subconscious things women do every day to minimise the likelihood of sexual assault. It’s things like: leaving a party early, walking with house or car keys in hand (not for convenience but so you can get into your home/car quickly), locking your car doors at night and even during the day, avoiding parking spots where you’d get out/in on the same side as a van, avoiding poorly lit parking spaces, altering your walk home or running route to maximise time in well-lit and populated areas, etc.
Catharine Miller describes the rape schedule concept thus: “dread and terror of rape and anticipation of its possibility can set limits on women’s freedom of action and access to a full life.”
So, yes, that is daily life for women.
Possible TMI
@Fran
And some of us have more complex desires not available via present medical interventions. A working dick is included, however.
Of the trans feminine people I know well enough to have that type of discussion with, working is running around 80%, with the rest as ‘kinda working’
“I’m a hypersexual being (when I’m not suffering from acute attacks of depression) and don’t really care to have my machinery fail to operate. I’m not trying to make the discussion about my genitals, either, but I have quite a nice-sized dick and am rather proud of it. There are other transwomen who feel this way as well.”
Hear, hear!
End TMI
@Kale
Hubby’s experience is the same. Although he’s been getting increasing amounts of homophobic harassment lately…
@Sandra
Ayup.
@Dali
Thanks!
@Alan
Get it? It’s because she’s doing the trans thing by herself without assistance from hormones or surgery.
Glad you like her. She’s super cool.
@IgnoreSandra
That’s true, and I have had the good luck to mostly encounter transwomen who feel the same way, but I’ve met people who have endured abuse from other transpeople who bitterly insist we gotta toe the cis line and try to pass as much as possible.
Then you have the transwomen who scoff at those who transition late and call them “hons” because apparently these older transwomen say “honey” a lot.
There is a prevailing attitude amongst some of us that you absolutely have to conform to cis standards or else you have failed at being transgender. The resistance to this is just as vocal, however.
The detractors of the “must pass at all costs” ethos often take issue with perfectly passing transpeople being used as the face of the trans community, because in actuality not all transwomen are beautiful palatable womanly creatures.
I recall an artist at tumblr who, in the spirit of the nonpassing crowd, drew some pictures of lovely transwomen with sizeable bulges in their pants and whatnot, and it caused one massive shitstorm.
The usual followed – those aren’t reeeeeeeal transpeople, they’re making fetish objects of themselves, being trans is just a sexy kink for them, etc.
We of the nonpassing clan have developed a somewhat warped sense of humor in the face of all this virulent erasure.
Our battle cry is “Yes, we are girls and we have bigger dicks than some cisdudes, BRO BEANS.” ?
@Dalillama
Far from being TMI, sis.
We need more people like you who are all like, “Yes, I quite like my dick on my feminine body, thank you,” and do not shamefully hide it like it’s a bad thing.
I’m sure you’re rocking a very big and strong girldick. You are totally awesome.
@LindseyIrene, Alan:
Rambling very OT here, but with the way my mind tends to wander…
There’s a Canadian gentleman by the name of Munro Ferguson who’s probably best known these days for his animation work, who also did a rather surreal comic novella called ‘The Adventures of Roberta’, and more to the immediate point, back in the late 1980s used to do a scientific-based comic strip called ‘Eureka!’ for the Globe and Mail.
Alan’s comment reminded me of one particular strip.
First panel, man in lab coat looking at at a polished ball and something that appears to be made entirely of spikes. “Hello, I am Professor Teeny-Tiny, and I am searching for the elusive Top Quark, also known as the Truth Quark.”
Ball: “Hi there, how are you doing. I am the Charm Quark, and this here is my brother, the anti-Charm Quark.”
Spiky thing: “Buzz off.”
Second panel, man in lab coat looking at at a simple cube and a scribble of some sort. “Hello, I am Professor Teeny-Tiny, and I am searching for the elusive Top Quark, also known as the Truth Quark.”
Cube: “Hello. I am the anti-Strange Quark, and this is my brother, the Strange Quark.”
Scribble: Ftzgrbl!
Third panel, man in lab coat looking at two identical spheres.
Sphere #1: “Hi, I’m the Truth Quark, and this is my brother, the anti-Truth Quark.”
Sphere #2: “No, I’m the Truth Quark, and that is my brother, the anti-Truth Quark!”
Man in lab coat: “Uh-oh…”
@Dalillama & Francesca
Seconding the not TMI thing. I don’t hate mine, I just don’t care about sex right now. So I’ll probably get to where you two are later…or I’ll just keep not caring about sex 🙂 Either/or.
There is this. Having to pass is kinda…cisnormative. I want to pass, but that’s me. People shouldn’t have to meet binary gender norms, no matter who they are.
@IgnoreSandra
It’s not even so much – at least in my case – that I don’t give a shit about not passing.
If I had my way, I would be the sexiest girl possible – smooth skin, narrow waist, wide hips, tiny shoulders, breasts like cantaloupes, and a fat butt.
And small hands and feet. The biggest thing about transwomen that people complain about is that we have huge hands and feet.
And my hands and fingers are long as fuck. Same with my feet.
I would be that black girl who has people saying “Oh, my God, Becky, look at her butt.”
I’d toe the fuck out of that cis-normality line if I were capable of doing it.
However, I don’t think I’ll be able to do it as I am, so I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m probably not going to pass entirely.
Like I said, though, I may respond well to hormones so I’ll probably still have a shot at it. I’m just not letting my happiness hinge upon that entirely.
Also, it is totally cool that you want to pass. Passing and wanting to pass isn’t bad in and of itself. The problem is when people who can’t, or won’t pass are being invalidated or erased. And you aren’t doing that so it’s okay.
Yes, that’s what it is like. Creepy dude, don’t you read the reddit pages you post to? The MRA ones that advocate rape on public property and/or women should be property/slaves that you can murder?
Also: “The Wall”, men think women fear it, but we look forward to leaping over it to get away from you.
@Fran, Sandra
There’s other people reading the thread too, though, and I dunno how many of them wanna hear about my sex life.
@Fran
Any chance of a link?
I mean, I do physically hide it most of the time, but that’s a matter of safety more than anything.
Why thank you 🙂 Same back atcha.
My completely unsolicited advice is to give it a go it you’ve the opportunity.
@ jenora
The barman says “we don’t serve tachyons”
A tachyon walks into a bar.
Yes. (At least as I understand it from previous comments here and other materials on the subject)
Help fix, please? Like, I know it’s easier to dismiss that as false because it’s fucking horrifying, but it just isn’t :/
@ jenora
Heisenberg gets pulled by the police.
“Do you know how fast you were going?”
“No, but I know where I am”
“Well, you were doing 60.”
“Oh great, now I’m lost.”
I’d like to add my two cents concerning harassment of feminine/masculine people.
I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t look traditionally feminine. I used to wear my hair long, but I cut it short last year and /really/ liked how it turned out. I have broad shoulders, a very small bust (which makes it harder to find bras that fit right, so I stick to sports bras), and huge muscles. Like, I look like a bodybuilder even though I don’t do crazy workouts. I DO have a slim waist compared to my hips, but that’s really it.
I can’t say that I’m harassed a ton much day-to-day because of my gender, and I realize I’m super lucky because of that. But I have noticed something – if I’m wearing cloths that both cover my muscles and are heavily feminine, harassment goes way the hell up. Guess my muscles are scary?
Also, ‘Transwoman Renegade’ should be a band name. I’d buy all their albums. Though in fairness, the band should be ‘Transgender Renegade’ to be more inclusive.
ETA @Alan – I love your jokes, may I steal them?
Shroedinger gets pulled by the police.
“Do you know you’ve got a dead cat in the boot?”
“Well I do now.”
@Alan
That’s the short form:
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies.
The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!”
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”
“We do now, asshole!” shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
@Dalillama
Oh, no, that’s okay. And I will explain why in a sec.
What I meant was that I am glad you are comfortable with mentioning your girldick and that you aren’t horridly ashamed to mention it to people like Sandra and myself who are comfortable with that sort of thing.
So, like. Transwomen who have dicks are perversely displayed in the media as taking a sick pleasure of scaring men and women with their dicks.
Some transwomen say that this is why you should get snipped.
Others – mainly, renegades like me, you, and Sandra – insist that girls with dicks should be treated like normal people just going about our business, and not monsters who go about obtrusively shoving our dicks in people’s faces.
We should try to normalize it. IgnoreSandra’s an excellent example: she would like people to leave her girldick alone entirely.
Me, I only want my girldick seen and touched by people who aren’t transphobes.
I don’t need more reasons to hate myself thanks to someone who ran away screaming the instant I took my underwear off. That sounds totally awful.
So it’s actually quite good of you to keep your girldick out of sight. It shows you are considerate, although in an ideal world we wouldn’t have to hide it.
And your advice is quite good – I intend to give hormones a try for sure!
Sadly, I idiotically didn’t bookmark the image after witnessing the massive shitstorm that ensued in the comment section.
I’d really like to show you it, too. It was a magnificent image.
When I get home I’ll try a search for it again. It has probably been deleted though.
Dalillama
Two atoms are walking down the road when one says “I’ve just lost an electron!”
His mate asks “Are you sure?”
The first atom replies: “I’m positive.”
ETA: @ sniper kitty – heh, they probably pre date the big bang, but please, feel free.
@Fran, Dali, Sandra
Welp. This has been enlightening…
@Alan, Dali
…and that is funny.
I don’t want to escalate the situation. I still think, “If I am blunt or rude, he will get angry. If he gets angry, he will hurt me.”
A neutron orders a gin and tonic, “How much is that?”
“For you, no charge.”
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. “Can I have a Martinus please?”
The barman says “Don’t you mean a Martini?
Julius says “Better not, I’m driving”
A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.
“That’s funny” says the barman “we have a whisky named after you.”
“What; Eric?”
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are all sharing a hotel room. As they are all smokers and there are no ashtrays, the wastebaskets in the room quickly gain a few cigarette butts.
In the middle of the night, one of the wastebaskets flares up. The engineer wakes up, takes the wastebasket to the bathroom, douses it with the tap, and goes back to sleep.
Some time later, another wastebasket starts smouldering. The physicist wakes up, sees the fire, and covers the wastebasket with a large textbook, cutting off the oxygen. The fire is smothered, and the physicist goes back to sleep.
Still later, another wastebasket bursts into flames. The mathematician wakes up, looks at the fire, and then around the room. He proclaims: “This problem has already been solved!” and goes back to sleep.
@ kivutar
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are on a shooting range. The engineer goes first and his shot goes slightly to the left of the target. The physicist goes next. His shot goes slightly to the right of the target. The statistician shouts “We hit it!”
But anyway, it’s late here. So to quote the U238 nucleus, I’d better split.
In this particular instance, while I don’t doubt that the creepy-rapist factor was in play, I’m inclined to agree with the person who noted that this guy was acting like a thug who wanted to knock over the pharmacy for drugs to sell. Furthermore, I will bet that when the cops were called, it was the “thug looking for drugs” angle that was reported and the creepy-rapist thing mentioned only in passing if at all. Because the cops will take a report of someone maybe wanting to steal drugs seriously, and that’s not always guaranteed if it’s just a woman being “hypersensitive”.
@Alan Robertshaw
U-238 is non-fissile, though :/