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For Mother’s Day, give the gift of Mike Cernovich’s stupid face!

Mom will love it! (Snoop Dog not included.)

Looking for last-minute Mother’s Day gift ideas? Look no further!

As we all know, there’s nothing that moms love better than t-shirts featuring the disembodied heads of horrendous dudes they’ve probably never heard of, so why not get them this ACTUAL T-SHIRT YOU CAN REALLY BUY NO REALLY featuring the grim visage of ALPHA JUICE GORILLA MAN and famous “journalist” Mike Cernovich!

The shirt is available for purchase — no, for real — at some dude’s online store called Crypto.Fashion.

And if Mr. Cernovich isn’t ALPHA enough for you or your mom, you can kick things up a notch by buying her this shirt featuring a twenty-year old photo of EVERYONE’S FAVORITE RACIST LADY-HATING SCIENCE FICTION AUTHOR Theodore “Vox Day” Beale, doing his best “BLUE STEEL” for the camera.

Form a line, moms!

But what about Grandma, you ask? She’s a mother too! Well, Crypto Fashion KICKS IT REALLY REALLY OLD SCHOOL for your Grams with a t-shirt featuring none other than OSWALD FUCKING SPENGLER, author of the racist CLASSIC The Decline of the West (1918)!!!1!!!

No really.

The S-man!

YOUR MOM and GRANDMAS WILL NEVER BE HAPPIER, possibly.

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Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

It’s just an old-fashioned word for pancakes. McDonald’s still uses it for their pancakes, for some reason.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
7 years ago

err wait – has American Mother’s Day not happened yet?! Is it tomorrow? I thought it was last Sunday. I’m confuuuuuuused.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

@rugbyyogi

Nah, it can’t have happened yet, we haven’t had the annual thread about this year’s crop of MRAs shitting their pants about TEH SPERMJACKING MARRIAGE-TRAPPING DIVORCE-RAPING WHITE-GENOCIDING ALPHA FUX BETA BUX CUCKING C**TING WOMZ getting one whole day to themselves.

Latte Cat
Latte Cat
7 years ago

What a shame!! I already bought my mother a shirt.

comment image

Still, I haven’t bought one for my grandma yet.

Andrew
Andrew
7 years ago

To those wondering about “selling like hotcakes,” Mental Floss has you covered.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/26034/origins-10-food-phrases

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
7 years ago

American Mothers Day is tomorrow (Sunday) May 14. My mommy wouldn’t know who Mike Cernovich is. I see there are no t-shirts of the former Fox News host, Bill O’Reilly. That would be more her style.

She’ll have to make do with flowers, and a phone call, from me.

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
7 years ago

Helix_luco – Chupacabraaaaaa!

JS
JS
7 years ago

Surely someone has a nice picture of Bill O’Reilly, with “O RLY?” in large letters over the bottom part.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ Andrew

Mental Floss has you covered.

Thanks for that. Some interesting ones in there. I particularly liked the ‘pupil’ derivation. I’m also feeling a bit daft because until now I’d never made the, somewhat obvious, pancake = pan + cake connection.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

@Alan

Would you have made the connection sooner if you’d ever heard them called griddle cakes?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ POM

if you’d ever heard them called griddle cakes?

I think I possibly would. I know it sounds weird but it’s like ‘pancake’ has always been a ‘single’ word to me; I’d never broken it down as it were. Does that make sense?

I’m wracking my brains now because this happened once before with a word. Someone pointed out it was just ‘word + word’ and it was “Oh yeah, how obvious!”

Funny how we don’t necessarily analyse what’s in front of us. It’s like the recent thing where @guest pointed out how our entire language is steeped in metaphor. Now I really notice it.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

ETA: if you asked me the syllables of pancake I’d break it into ‘pank + ache’. I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Perry
Perry
7 years ago

I think I’ll just buy my mom flowers.

I am confused about the t-shirt with Hitler (?) in pajamas riding on a rainbow?

Otrame
Otrame
7 years ago

Well, considering that other synonyms for pancakes are “gut plasters” and “torture discs”, at least griddle cakes and hot cakes sound favorable.

gijoel
gijoel
7 years ago

No Oswald Mosley? Now that’s kicking it old school.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ gijoel

No Oswald Mosley?

To quote Not the Nine O’clock News:

“He was popular and handsome as Richard Burton;
Coz I saw him on the box once, with his black shirt on.”

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
7 years ago

OT:

LindsayIrene, Rioting Werebonobo

[Luna Lovegood] :laugh: I… must… not… riot… like a… were… bonobo! :laugh: [/Luna]

Austin Loomis
7 years ago

OSWALD FUCKING SPENGLER, author of the racist CLASSIC The Decline of the West (1918)!!!1!!!

Is that how John Michael Greer (whom I’ve written about at length, if not always in depth, on my Tumblr; see link at my name) got awful racist fans? (Like that one Finn who, until I found out he was a Finn, I would’ve sworn blind was from one of those former Yugoslav republics where they’re still pissed off at Teh Islamz for what the Ottoman Empire did.) They came for the Spengler and stayed to infuse their own primitivism into the Archdruid’s brand of same?

gijoel
gijoel
7 years ago

@ alan God, I forgot that song. cheers mate

Sister Bat'leth of Rational Discussion
Sister Bat'leth of Rational Discussion
7 years ago

@ Faerie Bard: My first thought for a response to that would be to say, “I don’t have any kids, and my mother is dead. I’m FREEEEE!!!” (With a huge cheesy grin.)

Which is all true, but not something I normally gloat about like that. But in the face of unjustified assumptions + unwarranted nosy personal questions… I’ll roll with it.

@ Rugbyyogi: Mother’s Day in the US is the second Sunday in May. Which makes it a periodic annoyance every 7 years (on average) when it falls on my birthday. Last weekend was the first Sunday in May, so yes, Mother’s Day is this weekend.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
7 years ago

Oh crap, I wished my mother a happy Mother’s day last week. She knows I get confused. Mother’s day in the UK is in March and then I sorta struggle to remember American mother’s day. I’ll wish her a happy Mother’s Day again today. I suppose it’s too late to get Mikey’s t-shirt.

Shalimar
Shalimar
7 years ago

Vox Day’s image seems to have a black slot at the top where the brain should be inserted.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
7 years ago

Austin Loomis:

(Like that one Finn who, until I found out he was a Finn, I would’ve sworn blind was from one of those former Yugoslav republics where they’re still pissed off at Teh Islamz for what the Ottoman Empire did.)

Who would that be? Just curious.

History Nerd
7 years ago

Speaking of Vox, it’s really ironic that a lot of right-wing SF people seem to like Warhammer and Warhammer 40K. Both the Empire and Imperium of Man are over-the-top satires of fascism and religion in sci fi and fantasy.

Shaenon
7 years ago

What, no Dave Sim? He managed to be the worst part about comic books in the 90s, an amazing feat deserving of a T-Shirt on a hate site.

I’ve been meaning for years to make a T-shirt with iron-on bubble letters reading DEVOURING RAPACIOUS FEMALE VOID.