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For Mother’s Day, give the gift of Mike Cernovich’s stupid face!

Mom will love it! (Snoop Dog not included.)

Looking for last-minute Mother’s Day gift ideas? Look no further!

As we all know, there’s nothing that moms love better than t-shirts featuring the disembodied heads of horrendous dudes they’ve probably never heard of, so why not get them this ACTUAL T-SHIRT YOU CAN REALLY BUY NO REALLY featuring the grim visage of ALPHA JUICE GORILLA MAN and famous “journalist” Mike Cernovich!

The shirt is available for purchase — no, for real — at some dude’s online store called Crypto.Fashion.

And if Mr. Cernovich isn’t ALPHA enough for you or your mom, you can kick things up a notch by buying her this shirt featuring a twenty-year old photo of EVERYONE’S FAVORITE RACIST LADY-HATING SCIENCE FICTION AUTHOR Theodore “Vox Day” Beale, doing his best “BLUE STEEL” for the camera.

Form a line, moms!

But what about Grandma, you ask? She’s a mother too! Well, Crypto Fashion KICKS IT REALLY REALLY OLD SCHOOL for your Grams with a t-shirt featuring none other than OSWALD FUCKING SPENGLER, author of the racist CLASSIC The Decline of the West (1918)!!!1!!!

No really.

The S-man!

YOUR MOM and GRANDMAS WILL NEVER BE HAPPIER, possibly.

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dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

Sorry, Matt Forney or NOTHING!

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

No David V. Roosh tee, what a paltry selection.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

No, guise! Davis Aurini, with special guest, McArthur the skull!

(Two heads are better than one, after all.)

LindsayIrene, Rioting Werebonobo

But I love my mother.

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

Agreed. There isn’t even one with the Alt-Right Reservoir “Dawgz”, and you know that would sell like hotcakes.

tim gueguen
7 years ago

I’d love one of those shirts if it had the classic circle with a slash through it overlaid on those disgusting mugs.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Oooh, I want one with the Stephen Molyneux cartoon caricature on it.

comment image

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
7 years ago

My mom and I got matching shirts back in the day with a picture of George W Bush that had an arrow pointing to it saying “I’m not with stupid.” I doubt she’d appreciate a shirt from Crypto Fashions.

Serebrianyi Golub
Serebrianyi Golub
7 years ago

Ugh why did I google image search Heartiste. 🙁
It’s an interesting sensation to experience: simultaneously unsurprising but also disappointing.

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
7 years ago

A cashier at the grocery store asked me today what I was doing for Mother’s Day. I paused, awkwardly, not sure if it was worth explaining to a stranger that I don’t have kids, but I’d be spending time with my mom, when she blurted out, “I guess that’s up to your kids, huh?!” I could only force a smile awkwardly, hoping that she didn’t say that to every woman who came in that day, I mean what if they had just miscarriaged or something? I’m childless by choice, mostly, but I could easily see that upsetting someone who is not.

But yeah, buying a shirt with the face of an asshole on it is not, nor will ever be, on my Mother’s Day to do list.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Faerie Bard

I would rather buy a shirt with a high-definition close-up picture of an actual human anus than one of these things.

This is like a who’s who of awful people.

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
7 years ago

I would rather buy a shirt with a high-definition close-up picture of an actual human anus than one of these things.

This made me laugh so hard, lol!

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
7 years ago

at some dude’s online store called Crypto.Fashion.

See, it’s funny, because they’re actual fucking Nazis.

Helix_luco
Helix_luco
7 years ago

If there were any justice in the world crypto.fashion would be cryptid themed. A shirt with mothman, or maybe the Jersey devil, that’s something I would buy.

JS
JS
7 years ago

Crypto.Fashists? Yep, not even trying to hide the dog-whistles any more.

Vox Day (Theodore Beale): The only person kicked out of the SFWA so far. I believe he wears it as a badge of pride, as per his usual method of defining what happens to him as being a victory regardless of reality.

Sad part is, I would have probably purchased the recent Jerry Pournelle collections, if they hadn’t been published by TB’s personal vanity press Castalia House.

Betrayer
Betrayer
7 years ago

What, no Dave Sim? He managed to be the worst part about comic books in the 90s, an amazing feat deserving of a T-Shirt on a hate site.

“If you look at her and see anything besides emptiness, fear and emotional hunger, you are looking at the parts of yourself which have been consumed to that point.”

Rus Block
Rus Block
7 years ago

In the book & movie ‘the lords of discipline’ – ‘decline of the west’ was the book where they left secret messages , because it had never, ever been checked out…

EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

Am I the only one who’s annoyed that the “Vox Day” and “Cernovich” captions are in different fonts?

Judas Peckerwood
7 years ago

What, no Andrea “JudgyBitch” Hardie shirt for moms and grandmoms who like the lay-deeeees?

Judas Peckerwood
7 years ago

@ JS

Crypto.Fashists?

That’s Crypto-Fashionistas, for your information!

Ellesar
Ellesar
7 years ago

Crypto.Fashion.

So whoever has set up the t-shirt site is indirectly reclaiming the term crypto-fascist? Now WHY would they want to do that? Oh yes, they do have images of self proclaimed fascists to buy and wear, and then some contemporary not quite self proclaimed fascists.

I would have more *respect* for the Mike Cernovich’s of this world if they just used the bloody term. Level of personal derision would remain the same.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

that would sell like hotcakes.

What are hotcakes anyway? And how did they get to be the epitome of supply and demand?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

So, are the ape man and the puppy selling this stuff thru the crypto site, or is that person just using their likenesses?

Matchstick
Matchstick
7 years ago

What are hotcakes anyway? And how did they get to be the epitome of supply and demand?

I’ve always assumed they were cakes/buns/rolls etc newly out of the bakers oven so guaranteed to be fresh rather than something that might have been hanging around for best part of a day ?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ matchstick

Ah, could be. I’d been thinking of cake in the regular ‘thing you slice and have with tea’ sense. And as the old Klingon proverb goes ‘cake is a dish best served cold’.

But of course it did once have a more generic sense. Like King Alfred ‘burning the cakes’ probably referred to something more like oat bread.

Ooh, so maybe the phrase goes back quite a way? Or maybe I’m using too Brit-centric a concept of cake.

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