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Racist, sexist and sexually insecure is no way to go through life, alt-right dudes

Every alt-right dude’s worst nightmare

One thing you can say for alt-right dudes: They’re not shy about exposing their sexual insecurities to the world.

The only thing is: They don’t actually realize that’s what they’re doing.

Take the preening narcissist who posts pickup tips and racist diatribes on the internet as Heartiste. In a blog post today with the lovely title “Single White Women Want To Spread Their Legs For The World,” our boy Heartiste clearly thinks he’s delivered a masterful takedown of America’s insufficiently racist white ladies and their “betatized male” equivalents.

But all he’s really done is show how not-so-secretly terrified he is of what he sees as the superior sexual vitality of men with skin darker than his.

“[A] large chunk of America’s White men have spectacularly failed the dominance/ZFG [Zero Fucks Given] test,” Heartiste writes.

America the Shitlib Feminist Shrike has effectively neutered White men, and unmasked them for romantically unappealing doormats to single White women.

On behalf of all white men, I feel I must offer an apology for Heartiste’s terrible prose. He always writes like that, apparently convinced that nonsensical buzz-phrases like “America the Shitlib Feminist Shrike” are clever zingers of some sort.

But his writerly eccentricities can’t conceal the sexual insecurities saturating passages like these:

As women are wont by the essence of their sex to spread their legs for the dominant tribe’s men, they will wish to see tribal battles play out so that they may enjoy the luxury of choosing winners and their winning seed. The single White woman desire for open borders is nothing less than a desire for alpha male interlopers to test the mettle of their betatized male loafers. 

Apparently Heartiste is convinced that there’s no way to keep white women from choosing these (to him) obviously more appealing men of color.

For this reason, it was always a mistake to entrust the nation’s future to its native daughters, especially while in their pulchritudinous primes. Women are more xenophilic than men and this difference goes deep, all the way to the Darwinian pulses in the primal part of the brain that regulate reproductive algorithms. No logic, reason, accountability, or basic common sense can defeat such a primitive force.

The only way to keep white women from making choices Heartiste doesn’t like, he suggests, is to make sure they can’t choose at all.

Or, as he puts it, in his inimitable way,

There aren’t many solutions to this intractable cognitive block in women’s hindbrains that don’t require serious divestment from the recently operative political and social calculus.

His preferred solution is a bit Handmaid’s Tale-y.

  1. rescind suffrage and disenfranchise single White women
  2. get more White women married off and pregnant at younger ages
  3. break America into regional entities, diluting the single White woman vote
  4. convince married White women to socially ostracize single White women by any means necessary
  5. make divorce harder for women
  6. economically and socially incentivize early marriage (e.g., conduct a massive draw-down of women from the workforce and cease glorifying single momhood and tankgrrl careerism)
  7. ban abortion and contraceptives (good luck with that)

“Tankgrrl careerism?” Really? Apparently Heartiste’s idea of a clever cultural reference combines a movie that came out in 1995 with a musical movement that peaked slightly earlier than that.

But Heartiste’s final action point is my favorite:

execute a vast, mass propaganda psy ops involving reframing of contentious national question issues and other rhetorical gambits that constitute the heart of Game to reorient the acceptable opinion avenues by which single White women gain social status rewards so that they find value in claiming the opposite of the self-defeating open borders beliefs they comfortingly regurgitate for now. (whether he knows it or not, this is the Trump Option.)

No, I can’t translate that mess of verbiage into ordinary English. But I can — and I did — use Google Translate to translate it into an assortment of other languages and then back into English. Because why not?

Production advertising is largely dependent on large-scale and largely rhetoric and other dictionaries constitute the heart of the game, only free to participate in the reconstruction of the redistribution of social incentives for white women to accept the method of opinion found for the discovery of the value of the belief border claims, It overcomes the problems of ethnic issues for the same time this time. (Whether it is this option to know if you want Trump.)

Well, that’s no clearer than the original but, hey, it really isn’t any worse.

Heartiste wraps up his post with what he sees as an ominous warning:

[T]he way forward is for White men to retake control of their homeland and scoff at the precious political boilerplate their women solipsistically indulge.

I can tell you that if we refuse to tackle our shared single White women problem, the nonWhite invaders will tackle the problem for us.

Since “we” clearly won’t be “tackl[ing] our shared single White women problem” in the manner that Heartiste recommends, we can all look forward to many more badly written self-owns from this sexually insecure racist.

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dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

I just want to self-indulgently note that it pains me:

-to see Fartiste reference (in a mangled way) my beloved Tank Girl
-to see my beloved Tank Girl referred to as “a movie from 1995” (gasp! MY PEARLS!)

/tongue in cheek 😉

Serebrianyi Golub
Serebrianyi Golub
7 years ago

Has the dystopian sitcom pitch that is the proposed (by some on both sides, it looks like) Alt-Right/Hotep Alliance been discussed here at WHtM?
If not: https://www.google.com/amp/s/angrywhitemen.org/2017/02/12/meet-the-right-wing-black-separatists-proposing-an-alliance-with-the-alt-right/amp/

Andrew
Andrew
7 years ago

David, if you only know Tank Girl from the extraordinarily forgettable movie, you’re really, really missing out.

https://www.comixology.com/Tank-Girl/comics-series/86776

I’m guessing Tank Girl ruffles his feathers so much because her boyfriend–a mutated kangaroo–is infatuated with her to the point that he would jump off a cliff if she told him too, hating himself all the while.

Get this: she even makes him DO MOST OF THE COOKING. White Cuck SJW Knight Hambeast!

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Axe
Kinda. Seeing them would be hard. Radar wouldn’t care, and sensors could also pick up waste heat.

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

Fun fact: the co-creator of Tank Girl, Jamie Hewlett, is also the co-creator of the “virtual” band, Gorillaz.

The more you know…

JS
JS
7 years ago

All this talk of Game… This might help some of them (you have won the game. It’s OK, you’re free!)

Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
7 years ago

I tried to look at this… prose.

All I got as a result was “Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” looping through my brain, ad infinitum.

My head hurts already today WHYYYY

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

@Fran:

Hoteps are basically Egypt Flavored Fun size Manospherians.

Best concise definition of ’em I’ve seen yet.

@dreemr:

I just want to self-indulgently note that it pains me:

-to see Fartiste reference (in a mangled way) my beloved Tank Girl
-to see my beloved Tank Girl referred to as “a movie from 1995” (gasp! MY PEARLS!)

/tongue in cheek ?

And a downright delightful movie from 1995 it is, too.

I’m pretty sure the reason Fartiste referenced it so irately was because TG does casual misandry so well…and hops in the sack with the dimmest, least-alpha half-man-half-kangaroo in the Rippers, to boot.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Bina

[Read this post with heavy sarcasm. I feel like I need to say this because Hoteps actually believe it.]

Well, of COURSE I’ve put it to you the best way! I am, after all, a Melaninated Black Goddess-Empress of IMPERIAL EGYPT.

You should recognize my superiority to you, pale cave-demon white feeeeeeeeeeemale.

Now come with me. I must enslave you and all white people because…um…uh…MELANIN! AND EGYPT!

[rants in ashy hotep]

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

As Empress, my first command is to create an Elite Imperial Guard comprised entirely of white feeeeeeeemales, just like how the Roman Emperors had their Germanic Guards.

Wait! No! I didn’t say that! Aaaaaaagh!

[is pulled off her throne and stabbed to death by a million hoteps for mentioning Rome]

Grace
Grace
7 years ago

Re: camouflaged black spaceships:

They might be easier to detect in the infrared, because they’d be absorbing heat rather than reflecting it. One of the reasons space hardware tends to be painted white is that when you’re relatively close to a star (in high Earth orbit, say), there’s enough unfiltered sunlight coming at you that cooling is a problem. So a black ship would absorb more heat, which it then has to pump out, and because no refrigeration system is 100% efficient, you end up with more waste heat than you’d have if you were reflecting the energy from the surface in the first place.

(Of course, you could design them to cool more efficiently by building them in a shape that maximizes surface area, and now I’m wondering if the Shadow vessels from Babylon 5 had those tentacles partly to act as radiator fins. Those being the first black space fleet that leaps to mind.)

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Grace

Yes, but have you considered the fact that Black People are Gods and Goddesses?

We can bend the laws of reality to fit our needs if we so desire.

And, yes, this is just a joke on my part, obviously, but Hoteps believe it.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

@Fran

So what the hell do they think of partially-Black mixed-race peeps? Are they demigods, or abominations in their eyes?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Apropos Germanic guards in Rome, I wonder if that’s why the Vatican has Swiss Guards today. (lightbulb goes DING!)

Also, Hoteps are strange, sad little men, worshipping an inbred pharaonic caste as they do. Don’t anyone tell them they’re acting just like the weirdest-ass white supremacists.

PS: Trying to find a link about inbreeding and white supremacy takes one down some truly bizarre rabbit holes. Do not recommend.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

According to Hoteps, black people invented Rome, so, actually, nevermind. I’m still in the Hotep Clear there. I am operating entirely within my parameters and there is no conflict with my ideology.

Re: Fran the Black Goddess-Empress:

Clearly, I am one of the Death and Rebirth Goddesses because there is no other explanation as to why I am being so sorely tested by my circumstances.

To borrow from Norse Mythology, because fuck you, Hoteps, I feel rather much the same as Odin did when he hung himself from the worldtree with a spear through his side. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn from all this awful stuff I’m experiencing.

@Troubelle

So what the hell do they think of partially-Black mixed-race peeps? Are they demigods, or abominations in their eyes?

Depends on who you ask.

I’ve mostly seen Hoteps disavow them as being abominations. I guess you could call them Fallen Angels, perhaps.

We Black God/desses have Cast Them Down from our Glorious Egyptian Kemetic Realm for being impure and daring to rebel against our natural authority.

Fabe
Fabe
7 years ago

Re: camouflaged black spaceships:

They might be easier to detect in the infrared, because they’d be absorbing heat rather than reflecting it. One of the reasons space hardware tends to be painted white is that when you’re relatively close to a star (in high Earth orbit, say), there’s enough unfiltered sunlight coming at you that cooling is a problem. So a black ship would absorb more heat, which it then has to pump out, and because no refrigeration system is 100% efficient, you end up with more waste heat than you’d have if you were reflecting the energy from the surface in the first place.

yup,there is no stealth in space
http://www.projectrho.com/public_html/rocket/spacewardetect.php#nostealth

Joking aside the link I posted is a interesting read as isthe rest of the web site. WARRING: very,very ,Science heavy

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

@Fran

Abominations, huh?…Run, Warly, run.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Troubelle

According to Hotep Purists, the Black God-Emperor must only procreate with a Black Goddess-Empress.

That is a 1:1 replica of exactly what they say.

I’m not even going to point out the awfulness of that whole ideology and how it negates everything human beings really are because I’m sure that statement alone makes the case for itself.

Transpeople like myself should be destroyed.

Speaking to white people is a sin worthy of death as well.

Same-sex relationships? Death.

Asexuality? Asexual black people are agents of white supremacy and must be destroyed.

Hoteps…want to make a simulacrum of Nazi Germany, except with Egyptian trimmings, ultimately.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

@Fran

Yeesh. Running with the ball in the absolute wrong direction, I guess.

Like, not to your own side, not into the stands, but to space. Running to space.

How do you run to space.

how

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

@Fran:

Hoteps…want to make a simulacrum of Nazi Germany, except with Egyptian trimmings, ultimately.

You mean I was right about them acting like the worst white supremacists ever? Huh. How ’bout that!

PS: Fun fact — Hitler’s model for his Thousand-Year Reich, aesthetically anyhow, was ancient Rome. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t claim to be suckled by a she-wolf or something equally funky.

PPS: ‘nother fun fact — Hitler had north-African DNA!

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Troubelle

I am going to kill you and everyone you love.

Love,

Hoteps

That’s basically them. Also, how they do it? Guess it’s because they’re God-Emperors and Goddess-Empresses, I guess.

@Bina

PPS: ‘nother fun fact — Hitler had north-African DNA!

Great. Don’t tell the Hoteps that, they’ll only take it as further evidence that the Black Man is God.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

@Fran

Maybe the Hoteps need to go to space…

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

@Fran:

Not to worry. Hitler also had more than a drop of Jewish blood. Hoteps are allergic to Jews too, aren’t they?

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Bina, Lady Commander of Empress Francesca I’s cohors Germanorum

Let’s just say I’ve bumped into a few Hoteps who say things like this:

“but did the holocaust really happen doe?????? :confused emoji:”

In the Hotep Garden, all the sins are nice and fresh and ready to be explored anew at one’s pleasure.

Riddle me this, Lady Commander:

How does one claim to be pro-Black People, but then declare that they would hit a black [t-word] in the face with a roll of quarters in a sock?

I give you one of our finest Hotep Minds.

A top mind, even:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayo_Kimathi

I urge you to read this, it’s fascinating.

Feline
Feline
7 years ago

@Bina:

Apropos Germanic guards in Rome, I wonder if that’s why the Vatican has Swiss Guards today. (lightbulb goes DING!)

Well, there’s a history of using foreign soldiers, which makes a bit of sense, since their loyalty wasn’t local. Depended a bit on how mercenary they were, though.