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aggrieved entitlement antifeminism creepy incel misogyny self-hatred

Incel story time: “It’s Feminism’s fault I’m incel”

Riding the bus at night can be pretty creepy

As bad as most of the misogynistic ideas I write about on this blog tend to be, they at least have a certain perverse logic to them; if you accept their deeply flawed premises, at least long enough to try to parse the arguments, the conclusions make a sort of rough sense.

But when I wander into the online worlds of the so-called “involuntary celibates” I can quickly lose my moorings. Most incels are hugely depressed, and as I know from my own experience dealing with depression of varying degrees of severity over several decades, deep depression not only distorts your thinking; it also can make you weirdly self-obsessed, assuming that everything that happens in the world has something to do with you — both with your own imagined failings and with the alleged injustices the world supposedly imposes on you.

When you combine all this with the standard bad ideas of the misogynistic manosphere, incel “logic” can quickly become very strange indeed.

I say all this as a sort of introduction to this little “true story”I found on the Incels subreddit, a story that starts out with an awkward not-quite-interaction on a largely deserted bus and ends with a plot twist I have to say I never saw coming.

So let’s take a look at the post titled “Feminism’s fault I’m incel,” (archived here) by a fellow calling himself Brazierlord.

I was sitting next to this girl on the bus the other day and as the bus starting emptying out, I stood up to change seats like a good male is supposed to. I would be labeled as a danger to females if they saw me continue to sit next to that innocent female when I could easily move – obviously I was preparing to stalk her and rape her as soon as we got off the bus.

Obviously what he means by that last bit is that the others on the bus might consider him a bit creepy if he continued to sit next to the girl in question when there were now plenty of open seats. But his choice of words here, while meant sarcastically, make him seem even creepier than he intends.

So I stand up and I see her look at me through the corner of my eye. I move to the seat behind and at angle of -45 degrees from the horizontal to her. The entire time she is tracking me. Once I am seated she looks away and lays her head on the window.

Maybe she’s “tracking you” because you’re “tracking her” as you move to a new seat.

We get to our stop and she glances back at me. I am standing at this point and she hurries off the bus and nearly breaks into a run in the opposite direction.

Either she’s in a hurry, is nervous about being out alone, or our narrator really is giving off a creepy vibe.

So far, this seems to be a relatively straightforward story of a guy who may be giving off more of a creepy vibe than he realizes.

Then we get this:

If it weren’t for feminism I wouldn’t have changed seats and she wouldn’t hate me for breaking her heart. She probably would have followed me to my apartment and asked me if she could have sex with me and I wouldn’t be a virgin anymore

WHAT.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You didn’t break her heart. At best, she barely noticed you; at worst, you creeped her out. That’s it. Everything else is going on in your head, and nowhere else. Women do not follow strange men to their apartments to ask them for sex because they happened to sit next to each other on the bus. This is the sort of fantasy you come up with when you can’t imagine actually interacting with a woman as a real human being.

Get off of r/Incels and into therapy. Please. For your sake, and for the sake of every woman you sit next to on the bus.

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PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Valentine, it’s a sponsored ad (although I don’t think that makes it any more palatable, frankly.)

Could it be that RoK is not doing so great, and needs money?

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

The first comment on ROK about the torture porn is that it glorifies women too much and makes men seem like bad guys for torturing and enslaving them.

You could not make this shit up.

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@Lea

And cue the ‘Are we the baddies’ comedy skit!

@Everyone

This is a picture of me when I’m a femoid:

ETA:

Okay, so that didn’t work and I’m running out of time to edit this, so just pretend I put a picture of the Major from GITS:SAC here.

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
7 years ago

PLOT TWIST

Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

“No! I must kill the femoids” he shouted
The radio said “No, Incel. You are the femoids”
And then Incel was a zombie.

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@OOGLY

THIS PLEASES THE FEMOID COLLECTIVE.

Also, as a transwoman, I can confirm that the Femoids are, in fact, capable of turning you into a femoid.

It’s too late for me. I’m already….beautiful.

Get out before you become fabulous and elegant like me! Run!

Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

@Franscesca Torpedo

My Machismo, but Bishoujo

I can’t decide~

OT:
My Aunt is finally back from the hospital! comment image

Oh holy stars from the white dwarfs to the supernovas to the realm of Contradictions of my Malal. I’m at a loss for words other than “OH THANK FUCK SHE’S ALRIGHT”

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@OOGLY

Yay! I am so, so happy for you.

[runs around in circles around you, throwing confetti and glitter into the air]

This calls for celebration!

Haise, the husky puppy
Haise, the husky puppy
7 years ago

@oogly

!!!!!! I’m happy for you – all the best, positive energy to you and your family ❤︎

@everyone

I took a peak at that MRA ‘If women never got the right to vote’ trailer on youtube. And….. I’m kinda on the fence on debating whether or not it was produced to troll RoK than to uplift them. bravo to the trolls if that’s the case lol.

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

I got distracted and didn’t notice this:

@Valentine

…get sometimes lift from strangers – that is more common where i live, people do it often, it is illegal technically, but for a bit of money, less than taxi, they can take you. Sometimes even free.

I live in the so-called gleaming empire of safety and steel and security and capitalism known as the United States, where we praise ourselves on our great power and majesty and our ability to protect our citizens, and the idea of getting rides with strangers terrifies me greatly.

Like, I’m wondering how you aren’t afraid you might die every time.

Of course, one may point out that this awful warzone of a police state…er….uh…I mean, this land of the brave and home of the free [choke] is considerably worse than wherever it is you live right now.

eli
eli
7 years ago
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Aw, Ooglyboggles, I’m so glad she is all right!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Tessa
Tessa
7 years ago

Wowsers, that was a curve ball. I was ready for the standard complaint about how feminism put silly ideas into women’s heads so the poor incel doesn’t receive his standard issued woman to sleep with. But no! Nope! Feminism put ideas into his head. A twist! Bravo!

As for the bus, I ride the bus often, and yeah, I hope if I have somebody sitting next to me, they’ll move as soon as a seat opens up. I certainly do if I’ve got the aisle seat.

Myriad
Myriad
7 years ago

@Ooglyboggles

I am glad your aunt is home and better. I know that had to be hard on you.

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

Staggeringly irrelevant aside: I was someplace tonight where there was a (muted) TV on and apparently Velveeta is now using the motto “Liquid Gold”.

I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or gag.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
7 years ago

Just…what?

I mean, I get having fantasies. Sometimes I see a cute person and think “Maybe we could kiss sometime!” but that’s my fantasy. It says nothing about what she might want, and it’s really creepy as hell for him to think that just because he wants something she wants it too. Actually, that says a lot about sexual assault. Ugh.

Anyway, points on the bus stuff. I approve of moving away from a person you no longer have to be in proximity to. Let peeps have their personal space. I STRONGLY disapprove of sitting in her fucking blind spot like a jackass. You do not sit or stand behind me unless I trust you implicitly. Or I’ll, like…watch you super closely waiting for the moment when you pull a knife from your coat and try to hurt me.

Also the waiting for her to get off the bus first. That’d get me running or literally calling my mom or something.

Plus, he was clearly staring at her. Like…if he’d just read a book, immersed himself in something personal he enjoyed, she might not have classified him as the threat he was clearly trying to be.

I don’t even know how someone can have so little self-awareness that they aren’t aware of how stuff they do can classify them as threats of a sort.

JS
JS
7 years ago

This has little to do with the post topic…, but this conspiracy Trump++ theorist got SO anxious he misspelled

#FalseFlag” “What about UN report Bill? #FalseFalg 100% Now Guardian & French Intel. R truth tellers?Ha! Love @POTUS but STOP BS”

Apparently the Muslims are somehow responsible for the rise of the alt-right, too… *sigh*

Croquembouche, poorly-dressed vandal
Croquembouche, poorly-dressed vandal
7 years ago

@Oogly, great news,!

@ LindsayIrene, that was wonderful.

@ shifting bus seats: When I am in an aisle seat, yes I move unless I am sitting with a friend or travel companion, and sometimes even then – to get more space for myself or to give it to the other person.

Also, If I’m sitting beside a stranger, I don’t know if they will be getting out before me, and I don’t want to make them climb over me to do so.

I don’t generally worry about offending the other person because I’ve usually made minimal eye contact and exchanged a few words when I sat down, unless they have completely ignored me.

When I shift, I generally say something like “more room for both of us now.”

I do this with people of any gender. If I’m concerned someone might take the “more room” thing as an intimation they were to big to share space with, I would make it about the tininess of the seats, and my desire to have my handbag, shopping, whatever I had with me on the seat beside me instead of on my lap or on the floor. Which is in fact true.

The fact that this dude calls it “our” stop suggests that they’ve both made the same trip before. So he sits beside her and once again watches her without speaking, then moves to a position behind her and watches her, holds back so he can follow her off the bus instead of getting off before her and going his way. No wonder she ran in the “opposite” direction. I would not want him walking behind me either.

If he really believed there was a chance she would follow him home and wordlessly fuck him, he would have moved to a seat in front of her, gotten off first, and walked home, hoping, hoping…

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

Oh yeah I read Elliot Rodger’s manifesto at the time and it was clear he had serious mental health problems.

http://i.imgur.com/M7DgVn7.gif

Sure, anger and male entitlement are technically mental health problems, but that’s not what you or Dashapants meant and we both know it.

@Oogly

Phew, glad to hear she’s okay!

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@Croquembouche

If he really believed there was a chance she would follow him home and wordlessly fuck him,

I really can’t imagine a scenario where this does not end badly for him. The scenario he wishes for just sounds so…not good to me.

Seriously, think about it.

You are going about your business.

You pass by a woman. She’s an extremely attractive woman.

You go home.

You’re in your bedroom or bathroom or study or kitchen, relaxing or doing a little housekeeping or work.

Suddenly you find the woman standing over you, her vagina hovering over your face. Your eyes meet hers briefly. She stares back at you impassively.

She roughly begins to have sex with you.

There are no exits and you can’t stop it from happening. It’s like an old text adventure – you can’t leave.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Francesca Torpedo

Of course, one may point out that this awful warzone of a police state…er….uh…I mean, this land of the brave and home of the free [choke] is considerably worse than wherever it is you live right now.

Probably not; IIRC Valentine’s Russian. Also cis, white, and male, which is gonna make a difference. Before transitioning, I’d not have had a problem with catching a ride with a stranger except that I don’t like being alone with people I don’t know.

@Oogly
Yay!!!

Space Oddity
Space Oddity
7 years ago

You know, I’ve read worse displays of mental imbalance and blindness to one’s true condition.

But then, I’ve lead an… interesting life. And that’s definitely on the list, despite all that.

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@Dalillama

That’s true.

When I was still laboring under my delusions that I had to be a manly man prior to my transition I was still frightened of hitching rides with strangers, but I am black and the usual rules don’t really apply with me.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
7 years ago

Oh, I think the scenario is possible. It just requires a LOT of non-verbal communication to plausibly pull off.

Interested looks turning flirty, then seductive, visible (yet discrete) signs of arousal on both sides, proceeding to ‘accidental’ touches and rubbings, then ‘helping’ each other off the bus, then proceeding to a private room somewhere and having mad hot sex for the rest of the day/night.

The most important part of this scenario, of course, is a skilled writer who’s good at writing erotica. That’s a must. XD

Unfortunately for the incel, he was relying solely on brainwaves to get his desired results, and failed miserably.

Franscesca Torpedo
Franscesca Torpedo
7 years ago

@Red

And the Miggytoes say we feminists don’t think or talk about sex.

Hilarious.

I found your hypothetic quite arousing, by the way. It definitely sparked something inside me for a moment.