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Booger Sluts and She-Tornados: An unsolicited critique of We Hunted the Mammoth

Typical WHTM readers relaxing at home

We get letters. And sometimes they’re too good — and I use a very broad definition of “good” — not to share. So here’s one I got the other day from a fellow who calls himself MGTOWabunga, offering a rather detailed, er, critique of We Hunted the Mammoth and its readers.

I feel fairly certain that Mr. Abunga has not actually read more than about five words of the blog.

How f*cking typical is it, for a slobbering horde of wannabe cop-killing vagina knights and window smashing booger sluts, who sing the praises of terrorists like the Black Panthers, to back down and clutch pearls when the dog shit is on the other foot.

MGTOWabunga does have a way with words!

You animals prize violence and you know it – you invite terrorists into society in the hopes that they will erase white civilization through violence and the instatement of sharia law, you agitate through timber-rattling bedlam for the forceable exchange of resources from the producers of society to the lowly jack-booted masked sickle-and-hammer sporting, unwashed plankton-eaters in black bloc …

Plankton-eaters?

… and you riot like disorderly she-tornados and werebonobos whenever some person with more melanin in their skin than the law allows gets shot for fighting with the police.

Or shot in the back while walking away from the police. Or for being a 12-year-old playing with a toy gun.

If self-awareness could be stored in a checking account, you numbskulls would have overdraft fees that even Bill Gates couldn’t cover. I don’t see anything wrong with what Trumpsters are doing;

“Trumpsters?” You mean the guys who show up at demonstrations with sticks and shields and helmets and shin-guards? You know, like “based stickman” here, already the subject of countless adoring alt-right memes?

Love the font

… all I see are people who are tired of being assaulted and harassed by poorly-dressed vandals who idolize Bakunin and think that such corner stones of civilized society like “freedom of speech” are instruments of oppression manufactured by white bourgeois despots to provide cover to “fascists” (read: anyone to the right of Trotsky).

You know, I’m fairly certain this “fascist,” shown here at that recent Berkeley thing, doesn’t really merit the scare quotes.

Nor these guys.

An hey, here’s the guy who gave that speech that got these guys so excited.

And oh, look, it’s hacker-Nazi Weev. Might I draw your attention to that giant fucking swastika tattoo on his chest?

And, hey, it’s Andrew Anglin from the Daily Stormer, in case the name of his website and his harassment of Jews and his frequent paeans to Hitler weren’t enough of a clue.

So, yeah, while it is kind of a political cheap trick to call people fascists when they’re not fascists, the alt-right today is lousy with honest-to-goodness no-scare-quotes actual real no-kidding genuine draft fascists. So I think that’s maybe what we’ll be calling them?

Boy, remember back when Godwin’s Law was a real thing and not just some faint fond memory?

Oh, but MGTOWabunga is still going.

I don’t condone violence and I have no intention of practicing it, but when you start destroying things, punching people, threatening to kill cops and “fascists,” and vandalizing buses driven by people that you don’t like,

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that no one here is destroying things, punching people, threatening to kill cops and “fascists” (or even fascists). Some of us, it’s true, may have laughed a little at a video of one fascist (no scare quotes) getting punched, because, you know, HE’S A FUCKING NAZI. And it’s possible that some of us don’t really feel terrible that a bus on a cross-country transphobic hate tour got spraypainted because, you know, the people driving the bus don’t think trans folks have a right to exist.

… you forfeit any claim that you might have that you are “peaceful protestors,” and that your rights need to be respected …

But when literal neo-Nazis show up to demonstration with helmets and shields, and start literally hitting people with sticks, their rights do need to be respected?

you fucking syphilitic devil-llamas, wild west firecracker window-smashing soap-averse unionized cowboy Jacobins from Hell.

Devil-llamas?

You mean like this guy?

I don’t know if he or she a devil. I just found this picture on the internet. I don’t even know if this particular devil-llama, or any devil-llamas, even read the blog, honestly.

But I think they’d enjoy it

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dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

Oh! Dogs lurrrrrve menstrual periods!

My dear departed dog Mike (apologies to anyone named Mike) loved mine! When I lived in downtown Seattle back in the day, I had to walk him so he’d do his business. There is nothing more wonderful that having your big shepherd-mix dog all hunched over at the end of his lead, ostentatiously pooping out a bloody tampon in front of all and sundry on one of the busiest thoroughfares in the city!

Paradoxical Intention - Leader of the Deathclaw Damsels

How f*cking typical is it, for a slobbering horde of wannabe cop-killing vagina knights and window smashing booger sluts, who sing the praises of terrorists like the Black Panthers,

The Black Panthers actually did a lot of good for their communities, considering the government refused to. That’s part of the reason that they were labeled as “terrorists”.

Here’s a list of 65 programs that they had. Some of them the government uses to this very day (although I doubt they will for long with the fucking “kill the poor” party in power).

They had food pantries, health clinics, and school groups that they helped found to help their community. And it came down to them having to do this themselves because, again, the government refused to.

Yeah, they did some things that a lot of people frowned upon, but they also did a lot of fucking good that we ignore because racist as fuck white people painted them as “evil” and eventually got them shut down (they appear to be making a comeback in certain places though, and I think that’s awesome).

I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t know about any of this until I had to learn it through the internet. We touched on the Black Panthers and their “terrorism” in school, but we never got to hear about all the good they did too, and how we still benefit from that good.

to back down and clutch pearls when the dog shit is on the other foot.

I love how shitheads like this try to pretend that we’ve somehow started this fight, when we’re just fighting back finally.

You animals prize violence and you know it

Against nazis and other bigots who want me dead for simply existing in a way that they don’t personally approve of, yeah.

Just like Captain America would want.

– you invite terrorists into society in the hopes that they will erase white civilization through violence and the instatement of sharia law,

All those words just to say “I hate non-white people and I think this country belongs to white people. We killed lots of non-white people to get it!”

you agitate through timber-rattling bedlam for the forceable exchange of resources from the producers of society to the lowly jack-booted masked sickle-and-hammer sporting, unwashed plankton-eaters in black bloc …

Who are the “producers of society” to you, dearie? Because I’ll fuckin’ tell ya it ain’t the rich white dudes runnin’ this shit.

It’s all the laborers who keep the cogs of capitalism moving. I assure you if every minimum-wage person stopped working for one day, you’d fucking notice the difference.

… and you riot like disorderly she-tornados and werebonobos whenever some person with more melanin in their skin than the law allows gets shot for fighting with the police.

Or for Existing while Black. Because, like you said, it’s apparently against the law to have more melanin than none.

If self-awareness could be stored in a checking account, you numbskulls would have overdraft fees that even Bill Gates couldn’t cover.

I’ll take “Projection” for 2000, Alex.

I don’t see anything wrong with what Trumpsters are doing;

Of fucking course you don’t. They’re on the side of cishet white dudes like you. You’re not their target.

… all I see are people who are tired of being assaulted and harassed by poorly-dressed vandals

Well, maybe they shouldn’t advocate for the destruction and dehumanization of anyone who isn’t a cishet white person then.

Because I sure as fuck am tired of being told by these shitheads I don’t deserve to exist unless I fall into line with their ideology and start being a Good Christian Cishet White Woman and get with a Good Christian Cishet White Man and start pumping out White Babies.

who idolize Bakunin and think that such corner stones of civilized society like “freedom of speech” are instruments of oppression manufactured by white bourgeois despots to provide cover to “fascists” (read: anyone to the right of Trotsky)

Freedom of speech isn’t oppressive in of itself. Shocking, I know.

What IS oppressive is the idea that your frozen peaches should go unchallenged by those you rally against.

You have the right to say you think that [insert minority group here] shouldn’t exist.

I have the right to tell you to shut the fuck up, you’re an asshole.

The problem isn’t that you’re using your frozen peaches, good sir, the problem is you think hate speech (such as the advocation of genocide of [insert minority group here you don’t like], or the removal of their human rights) should be covered under Freedom of Speech.

It’s not.

I don’t condone violence and I have no intention of practicing it,

“But I’m totes okay with other people screeching for the genocide of those EVIIIIIIL BROWN PEOPLE”

but when you start destroying things, punching people, threatening to kill cops and “fascists,” and vandalizing buses driven by people that you don’t like,

You mean threatening to kill cops who think they should be able to kill black people (including children) and get off scott-free?

You mean the “fascists” who think that we should kill all the Jews/Muslims/LGBT+ people and that White Women like me should be put into birthing slavery to end “white genocide”?

You mean the bus that was going around saying trans people don’t deserve human rights?

You mean the people who think that other people shouldn’t be allowed to exist without being beaten or murdered?

Hate to break it to you, but their existence alone is a fucking threat to people like me. They want me and people like me dead.

I dare say that’s a fucking threat.

… you forfeit any claim that you might have that you are “peaceful protestors,” and that your rights need to be respected …

Oh, so Actual Fucking Nazis can go around saying we need to kill people who they don’t like, and they still deserve rights, but someone punches Richard Spencer (for saying shit like “Do we really need a black race?” and then fucking quoting NELSON FUCKING MANDELA as though Spencer wouldn’t want him dead on the spot for having “more melanin in his skin than the law allows”) and now we don’t deserve human rights?

Okay then.

You keep pretending we fired the first shot, bucko.

Grace of Spades, She-Tornado
Grace of Spades, She-Tornado
7 years ago

@Viscaria

I want to know what boogers, sluts, and window smashing all have to do with one another.

Am I the only one who smashes windows and invites strangers to get it on in the shards? and then I sneeze.

They’re wrong about the Jacobite part though. I’m a friggin’ Girondist.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

@dreemr
OMG. Now that’s devotion to the female principle.

Your perimenopause jokes reminded me of what my boyfriend would say when I was menopausal. I would forget things or be unable to drink alcohol or get dizzy and explain to him that it was because I was going through the menopause.

“Yeah, you’re going through the menopause and draaagging me with you.”

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

@Axe,

Gotta keep the tribute to the very first person I interacted with. *curtsies*

Thanks, @David, for getting me out of moderation limbo.

numerobis
numerobis
7 years ago

The good that the black panthers did is the good that many militant movements do in their local communities. Essentially they take over governance from a failing central government.

Hamas, Hezbollah, the Taliban, Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, FARC, Shining Path, communists in China — that’s how they all got started: soup kitchens and schools and health care and suicide attacks.

Basically, it’s an easy path to getting support for your militant goals from providing decent government services. Lots of people want decent government services. When your organization provides them while the central government is fighting the organization that’s providing them, the people are easily convinced that the central government isn’t the good guys.

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

@Kat 😀 that did make me LOL a very appropriate way to put it!

And, just to completely gross everyone out, my poor dog had that used tampon about 80% of the way out, yet still swinging by the string. I did end up using my poop bag to finally just kind of snatch at it and tug.

One of a few experiences in Seattle that, uh, stayed with me through the years lol.

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

BTW, am I the only one that has no idea what “timber-rattling” means? Did he get lost on his way to saber-rattling?

Wood doesn’t rattle, does it? I suppose it could, if you fashion it into a, y’know, rattle of some sort…

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

@dreemr,

Yeah, I think Miggs got his metaphors mixed up: shiver me timbers and saber-rattling.
Not really that surprising, given the whole mish-mashed tone of his writing. It’s like he is competing with Heartise for Most Florid Post.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

@dreemr
I think the timber is a penis, and the rattling is meant to insinuate some form of phallic stimulation by (booger) sluts. That’s my best guess anyway…

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

@PeeVee & @AxeCaliber

Thank you, I hadn’t caught onto the “shiver me timbers” pirate angle but I get it.

That prose is so overheated I’m surprised there wasn’t a China Syndrome event wherever M. Miggsie wrote this.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

Maybe he got “Timber” mixed up with “Timbre”?

AsAboveSoBelow, Male Gaze Harvester
AsAboveSoBelow, Male Gaze Harvester
7 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

These rants are an excellent source of potential band names.

And metal lyrics. The words already read like angry screaming.

I too had a dog named Mike (female) who enjoyed snacking on menstrual pads from the trash. Usually in front of whatever boy was visiting.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
7 years ago

Oh, this post and its comments are GLORIOUS. And what a feast of excellent new nyms has been provided!

I think this may be the best place to share two wee items that have featured in my Twitter feed this week:

1. Some amazing exchanges about why 2D anime girls are waaaaay better than actual women (most of you will recognise the main players here, I think)

2. And, no this is not a parody account (not intentionally, that is): Hot Steve Bannon, a brand new Twitter personality for our enjoyment.

(in plummy voice) “oh, what a time to be alive!”

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

@AsAboveSoBelow

I too had a dog named Mike (female) who enjoyed snacking on menstrual pads from the trash. Usually in front of whatever boy was visiting.

!!!!!1!

Small world.

@dreemr

And, just to completely gross everyone out, my poor dog had that used tampon about 80% of the way out, yet still swinging by the string.

It just gets better & better.

I love these chats about the bloody bloodiness that is the menstrual period.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

Another menstruation story:

I was on the Interwebz a few days ago and saw a photo of Joan Baez wearing striped jeans back in the day.

I remembered that I had a pair just like that.

Also remembered: When they were still new, I wore them downtown. My period picked that moment to show up. What a mess.

Not a problem, though. I got the blood out and wore the heck out of those super cool jeans.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

All I see are people who are tired of being assaulted and harassed by poorly-dressed vandals who idolize Bakunin and think that such corner stones of civilized society like “freedom of speech” are instruments of oppression manufactured by white bourgeois despots to provide cover to “fascists” (read: anyone to the right of Trotsky).

Poorly dressed?!

You’ve gone too far.

This is me, about to head out to the demo.

http://www.pinstripeandpearls.com/wp-content/uploads/Catherine-Navy-Blue-Skirt-Suit-by-Nooshin-Main.jpg

Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Caught between comment image
andcomment image
when reading how much of a hole they’re digging themselves in.

LindsayIrene
7 years ago

The absolute worst period of my life was induced by a course of progesterone. I needed a uterine ultrasound and had to induce a period at a certain time to make sure my uterus was empty for the procedure.

The morning the induced period started, I put on a pad and tampon as usual and went to work. Less than halfway through my workday, I had already bled through my pad. It was a hectic, short-handed day at work, and all I could do was tie a sweatshirt around my waist (with the cuffs dangling in front of my crotch) and pray. It was the Niagara Falls of menstrual cycles. My Carhartt work pants looked like a murder scene.

You might say that I was a real ketchup-spewing heathen that day.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

@Ooglyboggles
I love that panda!

@LindsayIrene
That sounds dreadful. You have my sympathy.

One of my college roommates had a very heavy flow every month. At night she would wear a pad and two tampons (tied together). She would still have to get up in the middle of the night and change.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

@Axe,

Oooh, that’s good…where does the “booger” part figure into this?

@Mish,

Hot Steve Bannon is icky. He fits right in. Blargh.

That account can’t be real. It just can’t be.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

Off-Topic:

On this 4/20, I saw far more pot leaves than swastikas.

Yay.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 years ago

Me in a pensive mood, about to head out to a demo:

Why did the US electorate vote for Donald Trump? When will he be impeached? Is Melania as miserable as she looks?

I may be far to the left of Trotsky, but I am never poorly dressed.

BTW, the color of the dress is Menstrual Scarlet.

http://www.pinstripeandpearls.com/wp-content/uploads/Anastasia-Dress-Modelled.jpg

Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

@Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement

When I walked to my local public library I saw a bunch of kids of various ethnic backgrounds having fun learning with the librarians. It’s comforting to know that at least there fascism and discrimination are nowhere close to getting their hands on them.

dslucia
dslucia
7 years ago

@PI:

Against nazis and other bigots who want me dead for simply existing in a way that they don’t personally approve of, yeah.

Just like Captain America would want.

Funny you should mention that…