We get letters. And sometimes they’re too good — and I use a very broad definition of “good” — not to share. So here’s one I got the other day from a fellow who calls himself MGTOWabunga, offering a rather detailed, er, critique of We Hunted the Mammoth and its readers.
I feel fairly certain that Mr. Abunga has not actually read more than about five words of the blog.
How f*cking typical is it, for a slobbering horde of wannabe cop-killing vagina knights and window smashing booger sluts, who sing the praises of terrorists like the Black Panthers, to back down and clutch pearls when the dog shit is on the other foot.
MGTOWabunga does have a way with words!
You animals prize violence and you know it – you invite terrorists into society in the hopes that they will erase white civilization through violence and the instatement of sharia law, you agitate through timber-rattling bedlam for the forceable exchange of resources from the producers of society to the lowly jack-booted masked sickle-and-hammer sporting, unwashed plankton-eaters in black bloc …
Plankton-eaters?
… and you riot like disorderly she-tornados and werebonobos whenever some person with more melanin in their skin than the law allows gets shot for fighting with the police.
Or shot in the back while walking away from the police. Or for being a 12-year-old playing with a toy gun.
If self-awareness could be stored in a checking account, you numbskulls would have overdraft fees that even Bill Gates couldn’t cover. I don’t see anything wrong with what Trumpsters are doing;
“Trumpsters?” You mean the guys who show up at demonstrations with sticks and shields and helmets and shin-guards? You know, like “based stickman” here, already the subject of countless adoring alt-right memes?
… all I see are people who are tired of being assaulted and harassed by poorly-dressed vandals who idolize Bakunin and think that such corner stones of civilized society like “freedom of speech” are instruments of oppression manufactured by white bourgeois despots to provide cover to “fascists” (read: anyone to the right of Trotsky).
You know, I’m fairly certain this “fascist,” shown here at that recent Berkeley thing, doesn’t really merit the scare quotes.
Nor these guys.
An hey, here’s the guy who gave that speech that got these guys so excited.
And oh, look, it’s hacker-Nazi Weev. Might I draw your attention to that giant fucking swastika tattoo on his chest?
And, hey, it’s Andrew Anglin from the Daily Stormer, in case the name of his website and his harassment of Jews and his frequent paeans to Hitler weren’t enough of a clue.
So, yeah, while it is kind of a political cheap trick to call people fascists when they’re not fascists, the alt-right today is lousy with honest-to-goodness no-scare-quotes actual real no-kidding genuine draft fascists. So I think that’s maybe what we’ll be calling them?
Boy, remember back when Godwin’s Law was a real thing and not just some faint fond memory?
Oh, but MGTOWabunga is still going.
I don’t condone violence and I have no intention of practicing it, but when you start destroying things, punching people, threatening to kill cops and “fascists,” and vandalizing buses driven by people that you don’t like,
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that no one here is destroying things, punching people, threatening to kill cops and “fascists” (or even fascists). Some of us, it’s true, may have laughed a little at a video of one fascist (no scare quotes) getting punched, because, you know, HE’S A FUCKING NAZI. And it’s possible that some of us don’t really feel terrible that a bus on a cross-country transphobic hate tour got spraypainted because, you know, the people driving the bus don’t think trans folks have a right to exist.
… you forfeit any claim that you might have that you are “peaceful protestors,” and that your rights need to be respected …
But when literal neo-Nazis show up to demonstration with helmets and shields, and start literally hitting people with sticks, their rights do need to be respected?
you fucking syphilitic devil-llamas, wild west firecracker window-smashing soap-averse unionized cowboy Jacobins from Hell.
Devil-llamas?
You mean like this guy?
I don’t know if he or she a devil. I just found this picture on the internet. I don’t even know if this particular devil-llama, or any devil-llamas, even read the blog, honestly.
But I think they’d enjoy it
These rants are an excellent source of potential band names.
@ David F
Anglin is being sued btw; don’t know if you got my email about it.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/18/montana-jewish-woman-sues-troll-storm-neo-nazi-harassment
I claim “werebonobo.”
Guys I’ve got a new username, neat!
He mad.
The standout points to me are the “Sharia law” bit, what with Anglin just the other day admitting that they want it and just want to rebrand it as “but for white people!”, and of course “self-awareness”, because literally no MGTOW/MRA/WTFBBQ has ever had any.
All glory to the hypno-llama!
This actually sounds kind of badass.
@dslucia
They love Sharia Law but they hate brown people. So of course, in this context, it’s negative. But when it’s applied by white people, it’s “building civilization.” Their hypocrisy and transparency know no bounds.
but, more importantly, what about.. devil-llamas vs angelic alpacas!
I’ve been provided a new title.
Looks like someone finally cracked open that thesaurus he got for Christmas.
Aaaand another fascist snowflake getting all bent out of shape that we’re not falling for their crap. Not to mention PROJECTION TURNED UP TO ELEVENTY!!!!111!!!
Yawn.
Dibs on ‘Unionized Cowboy Jacobin’ From Hell’. Don’t know what he means by that but it’s hilarious!
I would Patreon the sh*t out of David reading these letters on youtube with his retorts inserted. That would be worth actual human money from me 😀
I’m still not sure how they square the circle wherein they’re the peaceful ones, yet they’re also the ones armed to the teeth thumping their “2nd Amendment rights” while only dabbling in the occasional church or Planned Parenthood shooting.
I get that it’s projection, but how do they handle the cognitive dissonance this has to generate?
I do love the Patty and Selma gif! That was from the Stampy episode, right?
I imagine this post has provided a wealth of new titles for everyone.
“Favorite” part: the admission that the author really does think of an African-American as “some person with more melanin in their skin than the law allows“.
It was probably an unintended moment of candor that leaked through his frothing-mouthed struggles to write his way out of a wet paper bag. But he could not have made it plainer that he believes there’s something inherently suspect or criminal about merely being black, whether or not the black person is actually “fighting with the police”.
@Ooglyboggles:
Because that’s how the nazi-righties justify violently assaulting people they disagree with. The extent to which any nonfascists are actually physically harming or threatening militant fascists in this country remains minuscule. But the fascists figure that if they can make people believe that their vocal opponents are all rioting murderous thugs, then they can get away with beating up anti-fascist counter-protestors whenever they want to, even if the counter-protestors aren’t doing a thing to them.
At some point in the mid-1980s, for reasons that were and remain unclear to me, the Loomis household subscribed to the Moonie Times’ Insight on the news. I remember an article complaining about some lefty (or maybe just liberal) type who, the authors considered, had clearly “missed the last helicopter out of the 1960s” and had been subsisting ever since on “intellectual junk food”.
With hindsight and the benefit of this commenter’s ripe ignorance, I realize that not only is it, as Seb taught us, literally ALWAYS PROJECTION, it’s not clear that it ever wasn’t projection. The people who are still relitigating the sixties aren’t the ones fighting to preserve the advances that were made then, it’s the ones fighting to overturn those advances, and the advances that led to them, and the ones that led to those, and so on back to the initial and highly controversial decision to hold certain “truths to be self-evident” when every civilization of the previous Six Thousand Years had been run on principles exactly opposed to those truths.
EDIT: Scooped by @fishygoat. There are worse fates.
@Haise
Oh, but of course. From what I’ve seen, every stripe of reactionary from the ABCs of the manosphere to GiblerGorns to the more standard conservatives always comes back to projection of the highest order: they want to do all sorts of horrible things to keep the status quo they’ve historically known, and for whatever reason they’re too small-minded to even consider that the people who oppose them might not want to do the exact same horrible things they want, so they have to implicitly call their fans and followers and fellows to arms in order to oppress even harder, otherwise those uppity people might get the idea that they’re people.
That was a much longer sentence than I was intending.
Also huskies are the best.
Why do they all write like that? Is it a gamer thing?
‘vandalizing buses driven by people that you don’t like’
I suspect there are a lot of buses out there being driven by people I don’t like; I don’t usually have long conversations with bus drivers so can’t be sure (I do, on the other hand, sometimes have long conversations with cabbies, and I know based on that that there are plenty of cabbies I don’t like)–but I doubt many people feel the urge to vandalise them because of that. I don’t think anyone’s really thinking that deeply about bus drivers’ friend potential; they’re more interested in the hate speech written in big letters on the side.
“Booger Slut and the She-Tornados” would be a great 1970s Hanna-Barbera cartoon. About a band. With a snarky cat on drums. And they solve crimes.
Yeah, nah, this is just our favourite 329 year old seagull eating engineer again. If the multi adjective pileups weren’t enough of a giveaway, the particular resentment of (WWTH) bonobos and (Dali) llamas sealed it.
Thanks Miggy, I hope you continue to deny you have hit both the big 330 and your use-by date for a long time. And keep those descriptors coming, kid!
Some species of whale eat plankton, I think (do krill count as plankton?). So do most of the inhabitants of the world in Soylent Green (or, at least, they think they do). Other than that, I’m drawing a blank on what the writer was intending.
There totally should be a a chivalric order of Vagina Knights. I’m going to petition H.M. The Queen to create it.
@Fishy Goat
See – I know this is me being super pedantic – but that is eleventy one.
😀
Oh, and I’m claiming “Vagina Knights” and “Syphilitic Devil Llamas”
Hardly. This is far more creative than most angry reactionary gamers can get. 😛
I’ve heard “Plankton-eaters” used to mean “Hippie vegetarians” before, similar to “Rabbit food.” Don’t expect those sorts to understand that phytoplankton isn’t the only kind of plankton.