Today’s Gross Dude of the Day award goes to British Baronet Benjamin Slade. The Baronet, 70 years old and looking for love or at least a reasonable facsimile of it, recently told the Daily Mail that he’s “interviewing hard” for a “fit” lady at least twenty years his junior.
He’s apparently decided that the best way to find a wife young enough to be his daughter is to say insulting things about women in general and his ex-girlfriends in particular.
“I have had a few proposals,” he assures the Mail,
but sometimes the women are past their sell-by date and have been over the guns a few times.
The “past their sell-by date” bit is a tad ironic coming from a pasty elderly dude who’s basically the human equivalent of curdled milk. At least personality-wise.
By his own account, the Baronet has had some trouble finding the younger and more attractive than him woman of his dreams.
He recently split from a woman he sometimes called his fiancee because, he says, “she is 50, so too old to have children.” Either that or she dumped his ass.
His previous gal pal, he says, “went off with my handyman in 2011, but was already showing signs of madness.”
Another previous girlfriend married a rival Lord, the Earl of Carnavon, and Ben the Baronet is apparently still quite bitter about it.
I rescued her from the back of a car, set her up in business and made her a millionaire in 18 months. … She was very difficult to live with. Good riddance to her.
Before her, he dated a woman who was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when he met her. He picked her out, shook her up and turned her around, turned her into someone new. Now five years later on, she’s got the world at her feet …
Sorry, those are actually the lyrics to Don’t You Want Me by the Human League. I got a little confused.
Anyway, if you want to be the Baronet’s lover, you’ve got to be something of a party girl. “They have to be fit,”he told the Mail. “I am like a feudal prince when it comes to throwing parties.”
The Baronet, who desperately wants to put his ancient sperm in a fertile lady, assures all potential applicants that he is making heroic efforts to care of himself and his sperm — by hanging upside down like a bat and eating horny goat weed. No, really, he’ll be glad to explain it all to you:
I’ve bought a back stretcher and hang upside down on it for five minutes every morning. It works wonders for the chin and neckline. I also have some “sky boots” with a hook in the top so I can hang upside down. …
I am also on the Genghis Khan diet, which is recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed.
It was recommended by my French nephew, who is 70 and hasn’t a single grey hair. And Genghis had 2,000 children.
I would wish Baronet Ben Slade the best of luck, but honestly I’d prefer he have no luck at all. And to any woman who finds herself being courted by Sir Slade I would recommend giving a quick listen to this song by a band that shares a name with the Baronet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikMiQZF-mAY
Seriously, run, run away, as far away as you can.
H/T — The Virgin Mary, in the comments here
Re: Over the guns
I’ve never heard of it either, and I’m quite au fait with firearms metaphors (flash in the pan, going off half-cock etc).
The nearest I’ve ever seen is references to old steeple chase horses having ‘gone over the jumps’ a few times. I wonder if he meant that?
I suppose “go fuck yourself” could be considered a proposal.
Aw goshdarnit im too old for him
:-((
I guess I’ll have to stick with my gorgeous 24-year-old toy boy I’m so sad. Boo-hoo ?
A little googling suggests that “over the guns” is a term that is generally associated with shooting wildfowl. I suppose one might imagine that a bird who’d been over the guns a few times might be looking a bit ragged.
Seems to be a common misogynist notion, that their penises are somehow so destructive that they cause permanent damage to anyone they use them on.
I don’t like to be a party pooper but I believe the usage should be ‘Sir Benjamin…’ I appreciate the baronet title is anomalous and can be confusing but the ‘sir’ honorific is generally appended to the personal name, or used on its own, when referring to UK ‘gentlemen’ or aristocrats. You remind me of the marriage between 21 year old dairymaid Mary Ann Bullock and 70 year old Sir Harold Fetherstonhaugh in the Regency era…eww.
Oh sweet child of summer…
Victorious Parasol said
Maybe British aristocracy is like breeding Thoroughbred horses? No AI allowed even though other breeds do allow it.
Off topic but if you sometimes despair of MRAs filling comments sections and taking over websites, this thread on a forum for British lawyers may put a little hope back in your hearts. It starts a little deceptively but soon gets into full swing.
Off topic but if you sometimes despair of MRAs in comment sections or webites, this thread from a forum for British lawyers may put a smile on your faces.
It starts a bit slow but some gets into its swing.
@ Pie
I found a short passage about how it gets progressively harder to hit a bird the more times it’s “been over the guns”. They learn how to react and in the end they’re very quick to gtfo when they hear a gun go off.
There was another one where it was being used metaphorically about women, seemingly in a similar sense: experienced women expect more of men. (While I believe this is often true and a good thing, the way it was being discussed was still gross enough that I may not have looked into the context quite deeply enough to get it right. Also, not my first language.)
I don’t necessarily think this is what he meant, but I wouldn’t put it past the baronet to understand and openly admit that he’s looking for someone inexperienced enough that they’re vulnerable to being manipulated and won’t walk away if abused. At the very least, somehow naive and confused enough not to understand it’s an utterly shit deal he’s offering.
Why is it wrong for a older man to date a young woman? I dont see you women saying anything when Ivana trump(a 68 year old) marries Rossanno Rubicondi a 36 year old man? Why are men villified when they do the same? What a hypocritical article lmao.
@Bradley Shore: I am a 50+ man and find large age differences in such relationships (both ways) disturbing, may be a generational thing.
Kevin Im sure you do, but I never see this website, villify them. Hell there was an article in this website, where they made fun of a guy for saying “old women are like spoiled milk” but was okay with making fun of the baronet cause of his age.
Here is the link.
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/09/26/mgtow-debate-are-older-women-spoiled-milk-or-gonorrhea-stained-used-cars/
I also find fault with this website making personal attacks on people instead of debating the arguments.
I do agree that it is probably a generational thing. I admire the older generation in a lot of ways, this being one of the reasons.
Ivana Trump didn’t give an interview to a media outlet bragging about how she dumped someone twenty years younger than herself for being ‘too old’. In fact, she was dumped by the Orange One for a younger model. The woman has suffered enough. Leave her alone, trollboy.
Edit: Oh, geez, he’s one of those “I want to deeeeeeebaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate” trolls. I can smell the tedious already.
Then this article should only be about tthose comments. Why get into personal attacks on people, or are you okay with that?
You just made a personal attack on me lmao, but its okay, I forgive you.
“But what about the men being exploited by older partners!”
Oh yes, because there’s so much that’s genuinely up for debate on the topic of “Are women people, deserving of the same rights & respect as all other people?”
How is intellectual debate, trolling Irene? Do you hate having debates or hearing the other side of the argument?
http://i.imgur.com/H0nxw2b.gif
ATTACKED
@LindsayIrene: At least he can serve as a chew toy before being sent back to his bridge to hide from the billy goats.
Thats a strawman, button. I challenge you to find any quotes of the baronet where he said women arent people or that they dont deserve the same rights and respect as other people.
@ Kevin
I dunno. He’s so dull. He’s a chewtoy that’s half-deflated and missing its squeaker.
“Chewtoy” LMAO. Feminist hypocrisy at its finest.
“Everyone that doesnt agree with me, or has an opposing point of view is a chewtoy, hes less than human and we are the dogs that are going to attack and rip that chewtoy to shreds”.”
What fun.
@LindsayIrene: Just what I’d expect – and he isn’t even funny.
@Bradley Shore
Past experience
points to bad faith troll posting.
Are you just like them?
Feel free to show us
that you’re not like all the rest,
Showcase your merits.
OT but looks like stormtrooper wannabe Andrew Anglin is being sued, for siccing his Nazi followers on a Jewish woman. Here’s hoping it’s successful.
P.S. I didn’t really expect him to appear so…nebbish-y.