Today’s Gross Dude of the Day award goes to British Baronet Benjamin Slade. The Baronet, 70 years old and looking for love or at least a reasonable facsimile of it, recently told the Daily Mail that he’s “interviewing hard” for a “fit” lady at least twenty years his junior.
He’s apparently decided that the best way to find a wife young enough to be his daughter is to say insulting things about women in general and his ex-girlfriends in particular.
“I have had a few proposals,” he assures the Mail,
but sometimes the women are past their sell-by date and have been over the guns a few times.
The “past their sell-by date” bit is a tad ironic coming from a pasty elderly dude who’s basically the human equivalent of curdled milk. At least personality-wise.
By his own account, the Baronet has had some trouble finding the younger and more attractive than him woman of his dreams.
He recently split from a woman he sometimes called his fiancee because, he says, “she is 50, so too old to have children.” Either that or she dumped his ass.
His previous gal pal, he says, “went off with my handyman in 2011, but was already showing signs of madness.”
Another previous girlfriend married a rival Lord, the Earl of Carnavon, and Ben the Baronet is apparently still quite bitter about it.
I rescued her from the back of a car, set her up in business and made her a millionaire in 18 months. … She was very difficult to live with. Good riddance to her.
Before her, he dated a woman who was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when he met her. He picked her out, shook her up and turned her around, turned her into someone new. Now five years later on, she’s got the world at her feet …
Sorry, those are actually the lyrics to Don’t You Want Me by the Human League. I got a little confused.
Anyway, if you want to be the Baronet’s lover, you’ve got to be something of a party girl. “They have to be fit,”he told the Mail. “I am like a feudal prince when it comes to throwing parties.”
The Baronet, who desperately wants to put his ancient sperm in a fertile lady, assures all potential applicants that he is making heroic efforts to care of himself and his sperm — by hanging upside down like a bat and eating horny goat weed. No, really, he’ll be glad to explain it all to you:
I’ve bought a back stretcher and hang upside down on it for five minutes every morning. It works wonders for the chin and neckline. I also have some “sky boots” with a hook in the top so I can hang upside down. …
I am also on the Genghis Khan diet, which is recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed.
It was recommended by my French nephew, who is 70 and hasn’t a single grey hair. And Genghis had 2,000 children.
I would wish Baronet Ben Slade the best of luck, but honestly I’d prefer he have no luck at all. And to any woman who finds herself being courted by Sir Slade I would recommend giving a quick listen to this song by a band that shares a name with the Baronet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikMiQZF-mAY
Seriously, run, run away, as far away as you can.
H/T — The Virgin Mary, in the comments here
But we’re the cruel ones for thinking creepy old misogynists are gross.
If no one minds I would like to test Bradley.
@Bradley Shore
Those are serious questions Bradley.
I see an article shaming an older man for how he is seeking a younger women. From one human being to another it is reasonable for me to ask you to quote where David said it was wrong, full stop. The others are quite rationally insulted that you would toss around something like hypocrisy without actually showing where it is. That’s just name calling.
Why do we need to do that? Hypocrisy is a thing with a structure. It would only be hypocrisy if you could show that we were doing what what we said the person in the article should not do (and mocked him for doing). So that Ivana thing does not even make sense.
That man is being vilified for things worth vilifying. Of course I’ve yet to see the text of this “vilification”…
Seriously, this is your reputation right here on the screen. Do your math. All you are doing is commenting about things and expecting us to simply take your feelings as fact. Show me the objects connected to those feelings.
@Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
My guess is that Bradley Shore, noble online caller-outer of feminist hypocrisy, will merely screech “PERSONAL ATTACK!!” at you and ignore the rest. He’s woefully inept at actually arguing his points logically and even more inept at defending his own premises.
A slight nitpick, it would only be hypocrisy if we claimed not to do the thing we were pointing out as wrong. A simple example: a smoker saying “Don’t smoke, it’s awful, I know this because I smoke” is not being hypocritical, whereas a smoker saying “Don’t smoke, it’s awful, I would never smoke” is.
Though this actually makes it more difficult for BS to substantiate the claim, since it adds an extra condition to demonstrate.
Now, that doesn’t mean that saying one thing and doing the opposite is good by default – but rather that it’s also not bad by default as people like to imply by calling any perceived inconsistency “hypocrisy.” No easy win here, bud! Even if there is an inconsistency, you also have the burden of showing why that inconsistency is bad.
@dreemr
I can believe it. But then my point is to make them choose between demonstrating their reasoning and rumor mongering. That way I get to seal in whatever reputation they decide on.
Then fun can be had. It’s implicit permission to be mean right back and the best insults are things that unpack into characteristics. That’s why they act like being called a bigot is insulting. I give them an out and assume acting insulted will be present in the irrational ones.
To avoid name-calling about name-calling they will have to show:
1) That the personal criticism or insult (or their meaning for “attack”) was the sole content of the comment (if they only mention it). There can be attacks on person, and beliefs, ways of thinking, actions or communications present.
2) Show how the personal attack affects the logic or reasoning of that content.
Coming here and flinging around insulting characterizations make this possible. It’s also a very common pattern in trolls that I’m seeking to better objectify. It’s another one of those things I’m trying to objectify in useful terms that can be broken down into strategic language and analysis.
And it’s good when it comes to role-modeling. There is the chance that they are trying to be as honest as they know how and going through the motions of assuming that is something of a habit of mine. It’s not a habit I expect of anyone else given how exhausting people like this can get.
@dlouwe
True.
In my head language and action are the same thing. I know society acts differently but I argue that language is as much of an action as active thought like mental math. Still, it’s my job to be clear with the language.
Good points on the rest. This is why I named my blog “primate chess”. It’s definitely move-countermove.
Claiming to leave then not actually doing it (not even stepping away from the keyboard) within the first dozen posts is such amateurish trolling. I’m embarrassed for him.
@Bradley Shore
I haven’t read all the comments, so I don’t know if this point has been brought up:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivana_Trump
She is now 68 and he is 45.
BS, you have a slap-dash approach to the facts — and to spelling.
Au contraire, mon vieux — she was showing signs of good judgment. I’m sure the handyman didn’t have the personality of a flyblown heap of doggie doo.
I mean, a guy who’s been dumped this many times by “ungrateful” women must surely have done SOMETHING to drive them away. The common denominator in all this is not the women, it’s YOU.
@BS
No, you are a lying liar playing a dangerous game called Lying:
An Icelandic woman has come forward to accuse Roosh V of rape, blogger reports
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/02/14/an-icelandic-woman-has-come-forward-to-accuse-roosh-v-of-rape-blogger-reports/comment-page-2/
Are Roosh V’s “Bang” books how-to guides for rape?
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/14/are-roosh-vs-bang-books-how-to-guides-for-date-rape/
@BS, rank amateur troll
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Andrea_Dworkin
Snort.
You say that Sally Miller Gearhart is pretty well known. But I live in her neck of the woods and I’m a longtime, high-ranking member of the feminist government in exile — and I’ve never heard of her.
I visited her Wikipedia page, which includes that quote. But I can’t find her essay online. Hmm.
I visited her personal website, and I see no mention of that quote or that essay. Hmm.
For the sake of argument, let’s say that the quote is real and doesn’t come from the mouth of a fictional character.
In that case, not-so-well-known feminist Sally Miller Gearhart is an extremist. Her point of view is noxious. You won’t find anyone on this website espousing it. And if someone were to advocate this worldview, they would get a big argument from the regular commenters.
Happy?
Nah, of course not.
What’s funny is that the quote of Sally Miller Gearheart in the Wikipedia page points not to the essay but to an article criticizing it on a website called ifeminism.
@Matteo
Ha, ha! I didn’t even notice that.
Sadly, it seems that our rigorously honest, scholarly troll has abandoned us!
I have never found that essay online. Anywhere.
@PeeVee
A hallmark of well-respected and influential Feminist theory, to be sure.
I knew he seemed familiar.
Every time I see one of these drive-by trolls, I imagine them rushing back to the Migtoe He-man’s Woman Hater’s Club treehouse. “Guys, guys,” he exclaims excitedly, “I went there and offended them! Can I get my Counting Coup demerit badge?!”
It’s a little embroidered sea lion, with the words WELL ACTUALLY in the border.
@Robert Walker-Smith
I… kind of want that badge for real.
Someone with skills need to make that badge. Either for real or in photoshop so we can hand it out to trolls.
I reckon there are some “young, fit” hotties out there willing to marry this cadaverous cretin so they can take his money and run. I hope he ends up finding a lot of them and dies destitute.
Old dudebros never die, they just become even more creepy.