Roosh Valizadeh — alleged pickup artist, ironic rape legalization advocate and big league Trump fan — has a request for our failed president: Protect men from naggy women, who are basically a bunch of terrorists, if you think about it.
In an “Open Letter” to the current inhabitant of the White House, Roosh begs for some help combating “the problems … that [have] resulted from a society that has normalized hatred of men and masculinity.”
Foremost amongst them: nagging.
Sadly, the average man today is looked upon with contempt and the source of all problems that women complain about (both real and imagined), even though they are the most privileged class of female that exists in the world today.
Yes, that’s right: women are “the most privileged class of female that exists in the world today.” Also, presuming that Roosh is talking about human females and not, say, lady giraffes, women are also the least privileged class of (human) female that exists in the world today, given that they are the only class of (human) female that exists in the world today.
So how did these simultaneously most and least privileged females put men in such a terrible place? With the NAGGING.
As you already know, once a woman successfully nags you into correcting what she perceives as a problem, she immediately begins work on correcting another, and then another, until you wake up to find yourself completely submissive to a woman whose behavior now matches that of a radical Islamic terrorist.
Be careful, fellas, lest your wife or girlfriend slip an improvised explosive device into your underwear drawer!
Thanks to the leftist pet causes of feminism and social justice, which were enabled by the globalists who sought to defeat you, the matriarchal reign of terror has culminated with all men presumed to be rapists and oppressors, and who need to be “taught” how not to abuse women, as if it’s a natural-born instinct of ours like eating or sleeping.
Being told that it’s a bad thing to abuse women is apparently equivalent to being run down by a terrorist in a truck at an outdoor market.
As a result of all this terroristic nagging, people may begin to believe that men are paid more than women just because economic data shows this to be an actual fact!
Once the culture has accepted the lie that all living men are active oppressors, it was easy to push other lies that men are unfairly stealing money from women by earning more than them for the same labor.
Next thing you know, incompetent women will take over the workplace and fire men with opinions about things!
The next step in correcting this “wrong” is for women who are less skilled than men to get hired and promoted over men. Relentless propaganda in the media and academia has so infected the workforce and female-dominated Human Resources departments that a productive man is one bogus accusation away from destitution. If his workplace has at least one woman, he can no longer share his opinions without fear of causing offense and getting fired.
It’s true! As a result, no men in America feel free to express their opinions about any subject whatsoever and have to be coaxed gently into saying anything at all.
The situation is even worse outside of work. Unless a man is prepared to wear a bodycam 24 hours a day, he is at risk for false accusations of harassment or rape.
This is why pretty much every man in America today refuses to venture outside without first putting on a full camera rig.
But alas, this is not enough! Because “women are highly eager to lie for personal or financial gain,” hapless American men are forced to give up on
relationships, work, and even educating themselves in university, simply because they realize how badly the system is rigged against them. Men have become second class citizens, expected to bow down to women simply because they lack a vagina. While women shriek of their safe spaces, stocked with coloring books and crayons, men are subject to attack from any space they enter, because of laws and institutional rules that have been changed to their detriment.
But, hey, he’s not complaining! Men, as is well-known, simply hate complaining about anything, especially about women.
The men who follow me rather take it on the chin and solve their problems than complain about their plight, but we still can’t ignore the reality that relations between men and women are the worst it’s ever been thank to a multi-decade push by globalists to invert the natural order and lift women above men.
It’s so weird that women don’t even want to accept that their proper place is beneath men like Roosh.
We now live in a culture where women want to replace the role of men in employment, positions of power, and even within relationships as they gleefully brag about the “end of men” and how the world would just be better if we didn’t exist.
Roosh is so right here! I mean, look how men are struggling to cling on what little shreds of power they have left in politics, as these pictures of recent White House signing ceremonies suggest.
I mean, just look what happens! You let a couple of women in the room and — BAM! — the next thing you know everyone’s a woman wearing some kind of weird woman uniform and Trump has been replaced by Hillary Clinton!
But happily Roosh has a solution to the tyranny that female nagging has wrought. All Trump needs to do is to starve the “feminist pigs so that nature can reassert itself” — by cutting off all federal funding for lady things!
“[S]top the government from acting as a daddy and husband to women,” Roosh begs Trump.
Halt any program that performs a function that a father or husband could perform. This means no free money, no welfare, and no “reproductive health services.” Private charities can pick up the slack for widows and women who weren’t pleasing enough to land a husband. I also urge you to stop any program that attempts to turn women into men, such as university sports funding or scholarship programs that push unqualified women into science. As a masculine man yourself, do you see any point in having programs that encourage a woman to leech off of free help instead of falling into the arms of a man she must open her heart to in order to receive material benefits?
That’s right: women must learn to submit to men if they want to have any “material benefits” at all! It’s only fair!
If you thought Hillary Clinton was a nasty woman, I wish you could see the attitude of a basic run-of-the-mill middle class American girl who knows that there will be no consequences for her actions because she will be saved by a culture that thinks she’s a victim and a government that actively competes with men to be her husband. It’s become so bad that there are now male movements which dedicate themselves to not interacting with women at all.
And what a tragedy it is that these brave Men Going Their Own Way have been fired by quit the women of the world!
But Roosh doesn’t want to seem ungrateful to the mighty Trump, and ends his little letter on an up note.
Thankfully, even if you do nothing that I kindly suggest, your existence alone is a great help to men, who will now feel that it’s okay to proudly display their masculinity without feeling shame for having the natural urges to compete, achieve, conquer, and grow.
Trump truly is an inspiration to all men who want to achieve positions of power without having any discernible qualifications for their jobs.
Roosh even gives props to Trump’s lovely wife, despite the disconcerting fact that she’s a woman.
Even the presence of your European wife may inspire women to rediscover their feminine instincts, of standing by their man as he climbs the ladder of success.
Even if she stands by him from hundreds of miles away because she apparently doesn’t want to even live in the same city as he does, for perfectly understandable reasons.
I mean, hey, if she’s not in the same city, how can she even nag him? By evidently driving his wife away from him with his completely terrible personality, Trump is already winning the war on nagging, without even lifting a finger!
@SFHC
Okay, thank you. I haven’t wanted to say it, because I’m mono and our whole society says that the way I live my life is okay and his isn’t, and I can be really ignorant sometimes. But yes. I should confront him, yes? Or let her know that I will support her if she tries to leave? I have a moral obligation to do something.
@Weatherwax, GF’s parents own the place, but I’ll be fine. I have a home in the next city with my fiancé. I just commute up here during the week for school. BF might have a hard time finding somewhere to live, but that’s sort of his problem.
@SFHC
I’m mostly ignorant about poly relationships, so I’d love to learn more about how these issues are handled. But, without more information, Viscaria’s housemates are in a poly relationship. Unless one of the ground rules agreed is not to be commenting on other sexual (or potential) partners, my feeling is it’s for Girlfriend to Use Her Words about how she’s feeling. Not for Viscaria to do it for her.
If there are social norms in the polysphere that describe this as a no-no, I apologise, but my (limited) understanding is that it’s all negotiation about boundaries within the poly relationship (something mono relationships could do with more of IMO).
Ready to be schooled.
ETA So busy writing this, I didn’t see the above posts. I’ll come back if I’ve gone hugely off piste.
Viscaria – It sounds like Girlfriend should definitely not be in a poly relationship. She’s going to have to come to that conclusion herself, though, so what EJ said.
Husbeast is poly, I’m pretty much ace these days. His PDAs with his girlfriends don’t bother me but his being all puffed-up and pleased with himself whenever we’re all out together is kind of a drag because I tend to feel like a prop in a play that’s all about him.
Also, I get along great with one of his girlfriends, but no so much with the other one*. I’m also besties with one of his exes. Polyamory can be weird, I’ve found.
*Of course, she’s the one he sees most often and wants to push me into being friends with. :/
@Viscaria
I’m gonna disagree somewhat with EJ.
But first I will agree with him! It is not your relationship and it is up to the two of them to figure this shit out, crash and burn, etc.
However, EJ says “there is nothing you can tell them that they don’t both already know”. That part I’m not so sure of.
Considering what we know of your Friend’s behavior, he either genuinely doesn’t know that he’s hurting his girlfriend, OR he is a sadistic asshat. You presumably know him well enough to determine which alternative is correct. Is he genuinely this clueless? Does he truly not understand that his girlfriend is unhappy?
If he doesn’t know, then he should probably learn it ASAP! He doesn’t want to torture his girlfriend, right? Unless he’s a sadistic asshat, as previously mentioned.
As for the girlfriend, I think she probably knows this won’t work out and she’s prolonging her pain, waiting for the inevitable. She has three alternatives: 1) grin and bear it indefinitely, 2) break up with him, 3) make him change.
If her choice is 1, then best of luck to her. You can be supportive and hear her out when she needs to vent, but if she needs to vent every day she might wear out the friendship pretty fast.
If her choice is 2, she might benefit from some sort of catalyst, but you probably shouldn’t be it.
If her choice is 3, this certainly won’t happen if he isn’t aware of her wishes. It probably won’t happen either way, but at least she would have adequate information to decide whether he’s a lost case.
As for you, while their relationship wouldn’t normally be any of your business, in this case it sort of is. For two reasons: 1) You live with them, and are forced to deal with the drama. 2) The girlfriend has revealed to you, in a roundabout way, that she’s suffering. You are now in on the secret.
To the first point, you can stay and force yourself to stop thinking about this, or you can find another place to live. However, moving out because you can’t handle their relationship might be a bigger strike against you than speaking out.
To the second point, the girlfriend knows she’s admitted to you that she’s not happy with the arrangement. It’s understandable that she did. She might just mostly want to make sure a neutral person can see what is going on (gaslighting protection and whatnot). You have been invited by her to comment on this relationship.
If it were her asking for advice, I would say “you tried and now you know it didn’t work – good for you, learning more about yourself!” But since it’s you asking for advice on what you should do, I’m gonna say at this point you kinda have to ask your Friend if he understands what he’s doing to his girlfriend. Presumably the girlfriend is also your friend, and you have to tell your Friendfriend that he’s hurting your other friend. It’s only fair.
If he ends up losing his girlfriend over this, he’ll still have the “gym wife” (*puke*) to treat poorly.
EDIT: Ninja’d by SFHC, who was harsher than I dared to be. :p It might come across in my tone that I consider his behavior abusive as hell, but I wanted to be careful not to come across as mansplaining, or risking putting you on the defensive about your friend. Yeah, just because he’s poly doesn’t mean common decency doesn’t apply to him. He’s being a dick. Arguably, he IS a dick.
Weatherwax – I’m in a (half?) poly relationship and I’m still pretty ignorant! What’s nice is that we are part of a group of poly friends and there’s always someone who can give good advice and support for those who have questions or concerns. They’re also very accepting about my mostly ace status.
@Weatherwax
Forget the poly thing for a moment and just think about what is going on here. He is being deliberately cruel. My wife and I don’t have an agreed ground rule that I shouldn’t space out and think about porn while she’s trying to communicate with me, and when I snap out of it say “sorry, I was just imagining Serena Williams naked there for a moment, what were you saying?”
We don’t need a rule like that, because I am a mostly decent person who isn’t trying to torture my partner.
@ Viscaria
Ok, now I’m confused. I kind of agree with EJ, kind of agree with SFHC, and kind of agree with IP. On the basis you have all of those voices, I’m going to step out of this debate (until someone says something too intriguing for me not to jump in again), as I won’t be adding anything.
But I do want to say Internet hugs for you, because this is a crappy position for you to be in.
ETA Again, the conversation moved on while I was busy organising my thoughts. Viscaria is in safe hands!
@Hambeast
Yeah…
Thanks for that, M. I wasn’t going to call anyone else’s relationship abusive based on a brief third-party description, but the more I think about it the more I think you’re right.
Re poly:
I’ve done it, and my impression of poly is that I’m not suited to it emotionally; and furthermore that most people who are attracted to it intellectually are also not suited to it emotionally. Maybe it can be learned, maybe it’s inherent, I don’t know. Based on the people I’ve seen do it, I don’t think you can know until you’ve tried.
As such, I wouldn’t be too harsh to the Girlfriend about her need to communicate better. Even if it isn’t abusive, she went into it with good intentions and is finding out that it doesn’t work for her. I have sympathy for that.
@IP
I’ve gone away, and thought, and I just want to clarify one thing.
I have mono friends who bond with their partners about the fanciability of celebrities. I have other mono friends who consider a lingering look on a passing ass grounds for silent treatment. If mono relationships have a wide spectrum of approaches, I’m assuming poly relationships do too.
The key is communication. Our prevailing culture endorses a particular set of rules, including an assumption of mono relationships (or at least a secretive approach to relationships outside that). Lots of mono relationships don’t involve communication on this because both assume the default (and it goes sideways when they had different ideas of that default). It seems to me that the healthy thing about poly relationships is there are fewer defaults, which encourages communication. But that doesn’t mean it happens. Which is what it sounds has happened with Viscaria’s housemates.
@IP
I think it’s Secret Option 3, where he’s trying to convince himself that she’s okay with him sleeping with other people by overcompensating. “My girlfriend is soooooo okay, that I can be objectifying and weird about other women right in front of her!”
There are, at least in my experience (other poly Mammotheers might have different experiences, of course). Basically, if one partner in a mono relationship gives the other an “If you really loved me, you’d let me do X” ultimatum, it’s considered coercive – even if the other agreed to it – and there’s no reason why it should be any different in a poly relationship. This isn’t negotiating boundaries, it’s ignoring them.
(By the way, if I came off as a little too blunt before, it’s because jackasses like this… Erm, jackass… Aren’t exactly helping us not be seen as “Deviants” by the rest of society. Sigh.)
@ EJ
I agree. If it sounded like I was judging the Girlfriend, that was not my intention. Using Words is hugely hard, but that is the solution.
Gender power imbalance doesn’t help, in this situation, as in so many things. But Girlfriend is a person, not a shivering kitten, and her agency should be respected. But I’ve come round to thinking maybe it’s a good thing Viscaria is there, to give her moral support if she asks for it.
@SFHC
^Why does this site not have a like button?
@Vis
Girlfriend is an adult, as you say. If she wants this guy, then that’s that. Friend, tho, more than deserves a swift (rhetorical) kick in the pants. I’ll go far enough to say that maybe Girlfriend also deserves for Friend to get a pants kick. Any further and I’m outta my depth, so I’ll leave my thoughts there
@Petal
^Dammit, where is that like button?
@Weatherwax
I’m in an open relationship (similar to this and to @Hambeast. I’m sorta mono, but ace anyway. @Dali’s poly af). We’re very good about laying out our rules explicitly. Not just cos we like it (negotiation is fun, ewe guise ?), but also cos we’re aware enough of ourselves and each other to ask if things we think might be iffy are OK before we do em. And cos we deliberately built a relationship where talking about stuff that bothers us is encouraged. Whatever else is wrong with Vis’ buddies’ relationship, that Girlfriend isn’t comfortable talking about it leads me to think there perhaps wasn’t all that much boundary negotiation to begin with…
ETA: ^which is on Friend btw. Def not blaming her for anything at all
*Even if the other agrees to it.
A five-minute edit window and I still missed the obvious grammar fail.
Thank you, everyone, for my continuing education! This is why I love this community.
@Axe
That’s what I was trying to articulate. All relationships take communication, but poly (because there aren’t cultural norms to go by) takes even more. So I’m judging heavily someone initiating a poly relationship without a lot of work around that. (If someone agrees with everything you suggest, that’s surely a red flag*.)
ETA Obviously asshats ignore red flags.
@Weatherwax
First of all, those examples are not equivalent to what we’re talking about here.
Second, there is a window of behaviors which are considered culturally acceptable. While the window is not perfectly defined, and reasonable people will disagree on whether specific behaviors fall inside or outside the window, it’s simply silly to pretend as if the window doesn’t exist.
Discussing the relative attractiveness of various celebrities, seems to fall inside the window for most couples. Checking out a stranger’s body in front of your partner, is probably debatable!
Beating your partner up, is an example of a behavior that falls well outside the window of acceptability. Of course, you could have discussions about BDSM/kinks which would allow inflicting some level of pain on your partner, with consent and within reason. But if you were to do this without any prior discussion, it would be abuse.
Rambling on about the hotness of other people in front of your partner, and professing how much you want to be with that other person, or neglecting your partner because your mind wanders to some other person, is abusive. Again, you could have a prior discussion to define such behaviorbas acceptable in your specific relationship. But in the absence of that discussion, the behavior is abusive.
Now, ask yourself, based on Viscaria’s post, do you think it’s likely that this couple has agreed that his behavior is fine? I don’t.
EDIT: As SFHC points out, it’s possible for a behavior to be abusive even if the abused partner has explicitly agreed to it. The only way I would find Viscaria’s Friend’s behavior remotely acceptable is if it’s a secret kink for her to be humiliated in front of mutual friends. However, it would still be unacceptable to inflict that stuff on a friend who isn’t aware of the agreement.
“behaviorbas” –> “behavior as”
Stupid phone.
@Viscaria
Yeah, is it okay if I kinda hate your friend? I’m thinking he shouldn’t be in any kind of relationship at all.
@SFHC
What I’m getting from the group consensus is that I should talk to Old Friend about specific behaviour – e.g., hey, I think when we’re with your girlfriend and say things like X, that causes her pain, and you shouldn’t do it – but not bigger picture stuff, like, hey, I think you should end this abusive trainswreck of a relationship because you’re being a massive douchebag.
I could probably send out some feelers to his girlfriend (who I am going to call my New Friend, because yes, she is my friend) to let her know that I’m a safe person to talk to if she’s upset or hurt by him, and that I won’t go passing anything along to him behind her back or anything.
Edit: It is absolutely okay to hate my friend. Blanket statement.
@IP
Just seen your longer post above. You clearly got a lot more than I did from V’s post, in terms of what was going on.
I’m not going to argue with you, because neither of us know for certain. Our conversation will give V the resources necessary to decide how to proceed.
If I’d taken what you did from the original comment, I would be 100% with you. I hope our debate in the theory has helped V in the practice.
@Weatherwax
My point is that there are many behaviors which you should know not to engage in, without being explicitly told.
You can’t say you simply didn’t know that being abusive was unacceptable. You should know! If you don’t know that, it’s on you.
Wow, a lot happened while I was putting together my cheesy zucchini muffins!
Weatherwax said
This is the assumption I operate under, anyway. It’s worked so far!
Viscaria said
It kinda sounded that way to me, too but, then again, if Husbeast did that, I’d be annoyed for sure.
sfhc said
I think that this is at least part of why I don’t like going out with Husbeast and the SOs very much, which is at least partly on me for my paranoia of people finding out that I’m a “social deviant.”
And now that I’m caught up, it’s nearly time to get the muffins out of the oven.
@Viscaria
It might also be fair to tell Old Friend that it makes you uncomfortable, witnessing his behavior. Tell him it feels like he’s turning you into an accomplice to emotional abuse. That way, you might be able to shield your New Friend somewhat.
I’m sure there are ways in which that plan could backfire, though.