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Harry Potter pushes “willing cuckoldry as a moral imperative,” weirdo Nazoid pickup artist explains

Snape, what a beta!

The (alleged) pickup artist who calls himself “Heartiste” is a lot of things — a misogynist, a homophobe, a racist, a bizarrely overwrought prose stylist, to name just a few of his more charming features. But one thing I never would have pegged him for? A Harry Potter fan.

Or if not necessarily a fan, per se, at least someone familiar with the basic plot of the Harry Potter series. But that he is.

In a blog post today (archived here) about the alleged omnipresence of cuckoldry in “popular (read: single White female and gay homosexual) culture,” Heartiste (real name James Weidmann) drops this bit of Harry Potter knowledge:

Harry Potter was perhaps the first major shitlib touchstone to vault willing cuckoldry into the wider culture as some kind of moral imperative; it was beta orbiter Snape, a man with the worst case of oneitis imaginable because he was in love with a dead woman who when alive wanted nothing to do with him, who vowed to look after Harry, (the child of his oneitis by another man Snape hated), out of a misplaced sense of loyalty and maybe hope for an afterlife consummation.

Literally “alpha fux and beta bux” from beyond the grave. What independent, empowered modern woman wouldn’t love that?

Well, the ladies do love them some Harry Potter, I’ll give Heartiste that, but I’m not sure “cuckoldry”has much to do with it.

It’s not that surprising that Heartiste looks at Snape and sees a cuck, because pretty much everywhere he looks he sees cucks. Indeed, the basic thesis of his post today can be pretty much summed up as “cuck, cuck, everywhere a cuck, blockin’ out the scenery, makin’ me cluck.”

As Heartiste sees it, “popular (read: single White female and gay homosexual) culture” is awash in cuckoldry because the ladies can’t get enough of this rampant glorification of “alpha fux and beta bux”– that is, the allegedly widespread female human mating strategy of having sex and making babies with hot, arrogant alpha dudes and then, when the alphas stop answering their texts, conning wimpy beta workadaddies to marry them up and pay the expenses of the bouncing baby alpha spawn.

As a result, Heartiste alleges, television today has become

a feminist wish fulfillment wasteland … There are shows that have blatantly pro-cuck plot lines in which a pregnant slut or single slut mommy has beta phagg suitors lining up to swear their loyalty to the bastard spawn, while the alpha cads that knocked these hos up are either nowhere found onscreen or they come and go continuing to service the sprog-saddled skanks with the least investment possible.

Hmm. The last TV show I binge-watched involved a guy with telekinetic powers trying, with the help of a mutant super-team, to fight off a secret government army while simultaneously defending his brain (and the world) from a devious mind parasite that sometimes takes the form of Aubrey Plaza. But maybe Heartiste has different TV tastes than I do.

So why do women “cheer Cuck Nation,” Heartiste asks, then quickly manswers his own question:

They know that good men, on a gut level that is impossible to sway with sophistic shaming appeals to the contrary, don’t want to raise the bastards of other men. No man wants to be duped into 18 years of servitude to a child that’s not his own. For the few men who walk into cuckoldry with eyes wide open, they never shake the resentment that ceaselessly thrums from knowing they willingly chose to be cuckolds for the chance at regular sex with a single mom.

Women cheer because the fantasy of the willing cuckold saving women from their big mistakes is a repudiation of the intractable laws of Biomechanics .. TV tells them, hey ladies, you can have that happiness without those cumbersome rules. Magic is real!

Men have their own version of this fantasy, Heartiste argues, in the form of

the trope of the nebbishy omega male with a hot blonde shiksa, or nerds exacting revenge on their jock tormentors. Rarely happens outside TVland, unless you count supreme gentleman Eliot Rodger.

Like the murderous Rodger, Heartiste has convinced himself that none of us ever escape the primal high school rivalry between jocks and nerds. And nothing (outside of “race mixing”) seems to evoke so much primal terror in him as the thought of men marrying single moms and (gasp!) caring for children that contain some other man’s DNA. This sort of “voluntary cucking,” he declares,

is in a way more loathsome than unwilling cuckoldry, because it’s harder to fathom the depth of depravity to which a man must have sunk if bartering his cuckoldry seems to him like the only way he can buy sex and love, and with damaged goods no less.

I can only wonder what Heartiste made of The Brady Bunch, that classic TV ode to the blended family. Were Mike and Carol Brady each simultaneously cucking the other?

But I digress. Let’s return to Heartiste, who is currently working himself into a frothy fit:

We can say then that Cuck Nation is nothing less than the total surrender of masculinity and any male prerogatives to runaway androgyny and sexual polarity-inverting feminism. It’s the metaphorical equivalent of lopping off a nation’s balls and importing a few foreign stud horses to do all the seeding. And the saddest facet of this DNA-denying degeneracy is that there are more than a few self-flagellating manginas who lap this shit up and hi-five bitterbitches under the false impression that this will earn them a pity handjob.

What the hell is going on in the heads of guys who think like Heartiste? Seriously, outside of literal cuckold fetishists, no one thinks about cuckolding more, and more obsessively, than alt-righters like him. And to what end? At least the cuckold fetishists are enjoying themselves.

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Diptych
Diptych
3 years ago

Couldn’t he just be a wizard, but not belonging to any Hogwarts house because he lives in a different school zone? He could be an alumnus of, I dunno, Farty Badlington’s School for Shitty Wizards.

RosieLa
RosieLa
3 years ago

It’s barely even English at this point!!

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

The stooges of the far right are Hufflepuffs

How dare you slander Hufflepuffs.
#ProudHufflepuff
Also, Nymphadora Tonks was a Hufflepuff. As is (was?) Newt Scamander.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

cuck, cuck, everywhere a cuck, blockin’ out the scenery, makin’ me cluck, can’t you see the cu-uh-uck?

Christ. I haven’t booted my computer with that song on it in a while, and I’d almost forgotten it. Now I’m going to sleep to that refrain. Cuck you, David!

(Thankfully society has moved on since that song was written. I’ve taken off my hat and never had to say “imagine that, me working for you” to a prospective boss, because long hair is no big deal.)

brian
brian
3 years ago

“oneitis”?

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

Three things.

One: SERIOUSLY HARRY POTTER?

I saw a thing earlier today where liberal people, again, tried to politicize Harry Potter as some kind of personality test and I was just like whyyyyy. It’s a goddamn book, an elaborate fairy fucking tale, and if you’re not using this as an organizational strategy to punch Nazis then why bother trying to politicize it?

And now the Nazis are doing it too? I expected insanity from them, but seriously. Goddamn. Book.

Two: Beta Bux

Interesting note: Were this true, it’s tantamount to an admission from Heartiste that Betas, despite having a huge influence on the development and raising of children, have consistently failed to teach subsequent generations to make society less insane. Which suggests either that “Betas” are less than relevant in the raising of children in general, or that the only functional difference between “Alphas” and “Betas” is that the former is actually good at things like sex.

It’s complete hogwash, but the argument is so full of holes that you can always find a new way it’s bullshit.

Three: Severus Snape

I got the impression that Severus Snape blamed himself for Lily’s death, and even though he hated James, he protected Harry as a way to honor his memory of Lily as the young woman who stood up for him sometimes.

So, of course Heartiste can’t understand that. Because Snape clearly saw Lily as a whole person, not just a thing to use for various purposes. After all, there’s lots of stories…some of them true…of men doing things in honor of the memory of other men, so why shouldn’t that be true of women?

Flora
Flora
3 years ago

I mean how could any reasonable person stand by while Dumbledore willfully molds Harry into a literal martyr starting at 11 years old and be like “eh, little fucker deserves it!”

Well, he actually wasn’t. He was opposed to the idea but when Dumbledore told Snape, he wasn’t in the best of headspaces, you know, pretty much within the same week of Lily dying and crap I think? Dumbledore manipulated him emotionally, from what I remember.

@Handsome Jack

Sorry, I garbled it, but I’m agreeing with you. I don’t think Snape stood idly by – he did the best he could. I’m arguing that even if there was not the whole Lily thing, he still should have (and likely would have) done the best he could by Harry because he’s not a fucking monster. These guys seem to argue that the only reason that he could care about the Harry is because he’s a self-imposed cuck.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

@brian

“Oneitis” is the MRA/PUA term for the attitude that a certain person is “The One” for you – the most beautiful wonderful creature to walk the Earth and the only person who could possibly make you happy and romantically fulfilled. They’re technically correct (the best kind of correct!) when they say that this attitude is unhealthy, but they tend to replace one unhealthy attitude – “This woman is the most perfect person in the world, I could never be happy without her” – with another – “This woman wasn’t the perfect goddess I thought she was, therefore all women are garbage.”

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@IgnoreSandra

insanity

Check the comments policy plz.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

@Imaginary Petal

Sorry. In the future, I’ll remember to double-check my wording before posting. I meant that I expected this kind of free-association word jumble from them, but it’s still like I’ve heard enough of trying to politicize Harry Potter today.

Scoots
Scoots
3 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention:

In other words: No, these assholes are NOT Hufflepuffs, and I’m really tired of hearing my damn house being used as a catch-all for the worst the world has to offer, or as a synonym for “stupid, cowardly, and unmotivated”. Stop that shit.

This.

I think someone else said something about how stupid it was to “make Harry Potter political.” Dude, it’s totally political. It’s affected the politics and ethics of an entire generation.

https://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Millennials-Research-Generation/dp/1421410338

This is an actual book by an actual sociologist.

There is an entire charitable association, the Harry Potter Alliance, which has supported causes like marriage equality and fair trade chocolate. Anyone who thinks Rowling herself is apolitical clearly has not read her Twitter feed. I’m not sure why it’s popular among conservatives, actually.

(Credentials: has been giving papers on HP for a decade, teaches an HP colllege course).

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
3 years ago

Come on, we all know the house Heartiste really belongs in…

an empty one

Or a shithouse.

Flora
Flora
3 years ago

I don’t think Snape was an evil Slytherin. I think Rowling was thinking of people like Heartiste, incels, and what is now the alt Right when she wrote him. He was an angry and bitter kid who fell in with people who nurtured that anger and hatred and blamed it on minorities. He swallowed it whole because it vindicated everything he had been feeling. He was promised everything he had ever wanted, but instead destroyed any chance of not only that happiness, any happiness.

UNLIKE these tools, when he realized that he’d been brainwashed into a cult, he didn’t just leave, he systematically set to destroy it and atone for all the wrong he had done. (Because yeah, he did horrible horrible things.)

BUT Snape was still a Slytherin hero. He gets overlooked for being caustic and sarcastic and goth and unattractive but that does not change the fact that he was a hero, even as the good guys sneered at him and treated him as poorly as the White Supremacists Death Eaters had. He did the right thing even when it was hard, even when he would recieve no social recognition, and no accolades. That is a damn hero. #TeamSnape

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

@Scoots

Probably because the wizard government is stupid and interfering and lets itself get taken over by evil people. It’s pretty much what conservatives already believe about real-world government.

Tessa
Tessa
3 years ago

Paradoxical Intention:

Another thing we need to stop doing: assuming that everyone in Slytherin is a bad person. Not everyone in Slytherin is a bad person. Cunning and ambition do not a bad person make. Just because every bad person was supposedly a Slytherin, it doesn’t mean every Slytherin is a bad person. That’s some bullshit stereotyping there.

I mean, shit, Jackie’s a Slytherin. And Jackie’s not a bad person.

It’s just that the books revolve around Harry, and we see things through Harry’s perspective. So, Hufflepuff (and on occasion Ravenclaw) doesn’t exist, and Slytherins are all bad people from his perspective. It doesn’t mean that’s how it is.

One thing that bothered me was that (OK, just in case, spoiler alert!) at the end of book 7 when some of the kids decided to stay and fight and not evacuate, there wasn’t one Slytherin who stayed. If I recall it was most of Gryffindor, a lot of Hufflepuff, fewer Ravenclaw and no Slytherin.

Even with it from Harry’s point of view, Rowling could have done better to paint the Slytherins with a somewhat grayer brush.

Diptych
Diptych
3 years ago

@Flora

He does also terrorise the students under his care, to the point that, if he were a real teacher in a real school… well, he’d probably still get away with it, but there is a slim chance he’d be barred from the profession!

Bina
3 years ago

Only one thing kept coming to my mind as I was scanning Fartiste’s drivel, and this is it:

HE HAS NOT FUCKING READ HARRY POTTER.

Either that, or he read it on some mighty bad drugs, and drew a completely different set of conclusions than a sensible reader. That, too, is a distinct possibility…

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

Sorry, I garbled it, but I’m agreeing with you. I don’t think Snape stood idly by – he did the best he could. I’m arguing that even if there was not the whole Lily thing, he still should have (and likely would have) done the best he could by Harry because he’s not a fucking monster.

True, as he would for any student, as any teacher should for any student.

BUT Snape was still a Slytherin hero. He gets overlooked for being caustic and sarcastic and goth and unattractive but that does not change the fact that he was a hero, even as the good guys sneered at him and treated him as poorly as the White Supremacists Death Eaters had. He did the right thing even when it was hard, even when he would recieve no social recognition, and no accolades. That is a damn hero. #TeamSnape

Yes yes yes. Severus Snape risked his life. He lied to Voldemort’s face for years, even before Harry was born. He wasn’t the best person, I’d even say he was pretty bad (like how he treated Neville and Hermione) but he did good and he did his part in helping to destroy the Death Eaters and making sure children weren’t treated too cruelly when they took over Hogwarts.

Just like Dumbledore isn’t the bastion of goodness–he played people like chess pieces in his war against Voldemort–Snape isn’t the most evil person in the world. There’s a reason why Harry named a kid after him, like it or not.

(I had to cut out a rant about Snape and Voldemort being foils and then Harry popped into the equation and blah blah blah Snape is good goddamnit there’s a reason he’s been one of my favorite characters since 3rd grade.)

Bina
3 years ago

Also, Fartiste is not of any house, for the plain and simple reason that he’s a complete and utter shit-muggle who couldn’t wizard his way out of a wet paper bag with soggy doggy doughnuts rotting out the bottom of it.

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
3 years ago

I thought he was in House Sparklypoo.

And then kicked out for being too self-absorbed.

Scoots
Scoots
3 years ago

Snape actually threatens to kill a kid’s pet. He may be a hero, but he is also an asshole.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

Snape’n’Dumbledore – stalwart crusaders in the war between good and evil; terrible, terrible educators.

Expels Hagrid for having a pet spider that should be common knowledge doesn’t kill people like it was accused of doing thus stunting his ability to do magic for his whole life; but let’s an obvious child sadist enter and graduate Hogwarts and even become head boy thus allowing him access to an excellent magic education and impressionable adolescents that was likely key in the creation of the Death Eaters even though Dumbledore knew Tom Riddle was being shady as fuck through it all.

Dumbledore Logic.

At the very least if Snape was less petty and didn’t have to maintain a facade, he’d probably be a decent if stern teacher. I mean. he taught children better versions of potions than what was in the books after all–Slughorn had children use recipes from the book while Snape wrote improved versions on the chalkboard. Snape didn’t have to do that. I mean, yeah, he was pretty proud of his potion prowess but, like, as if children are gonna care.

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
3 years ago

I can never get on the Snape train, because he was ceaselessly cruel to a child under his care because of things that child’s father did. That hits like 3 different hot buttons of mine, so sorry, Severus. You’re stuck on Viscaria’s Shit List until the end of time.

Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

OT: Alabama passed a bill that allows a church to form their own police squads (read: theocratic militias)
http://whnt.com/2017/04/11/alabama-senate-passes-unprecedented-church-police-bill/

The church says it needs its own police officers to keep its school as well as its more than 4,000 person congregation safe.

Critics of the bill argue that a police department that reports to church officials could be used to cover up crimes.

This blatantly violates Separation of Church and State. This gives precedents for christian churches to have their own militias and facilitate radicalization.

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
3 years ago

@ Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

Dumbledore Logic.

Dumbledore wasn’t headmaster, then (just the Transfiguration teacher). Armando Dippet was headmaster, and he was not terribly bright, under a lot of social pressure, and completely charmed by Riddle. Once Dumbledore was headmaster, he specifically didn’t allow Riddle to come back to Hogwarts as a teacher.

Unless you meant Riddle’s original recruitment to Hogwarts, in which it was still probably the most logical decision at the time. Not like you can throw an 11 year-old in prison, and it’s certainly safer to keep an incipient sadistic narcissist under the eyes of other people who can do magic, and hopefully teach him some empathy (or at least restraint, if he turns out to be a legitimate sociopath).

Not Dumbledore’s fault Riddle decided to pump Charisma along with his Intelligence.

(To complete my descent into utter nitpicking, Snape didn’t teach the kids advanced potions. He kept his experiments to himself.)

Scoots
Scoots
3 years ago

Slughorn isn’t so bad. I think of him as baseline Slytherin–cunning and good at getting ahead. But he *likes teaching* and is good at it. That first Potions/Chemistry lesson is a good one. Some of those Potions and spells are his own, and he stayed to defend the school (some of this is from Rowling’s additional material in Pottermore and the recently published book).

faintingcouches
faintingcouches
3 years ago

Dear SFHC

Well, this dope certainly isn’t in Ravenclaw…

snorts food up nose. Loved this…too funny.

Snape is the best character because he is flawed, and believable. He seeks redemption and proves that love can come from anywhere and change us despite our prejudices Ya de yadda, team Snape all the way.

Heartiste was a semi-friend of Dursley’s at Muggle school who knows nothing of wizards.

EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

@Ooglyboggles:

That’s terrifying.

I somehow doubt that the Alabama Senate would be fine with the local mosques and Black churches starting their own militias too.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Don’t entrust your admissions policy to a frikkin hat.

Aunt Podger, Ketchup-Spewing Feminester
Aunt Podger, Ketchup-Spewing Feminester
3 years ago

Wait, I’m really sleepy and may have missed people pointing this out, but… Lily’s, um, dead. This is somehow the secret dream of the modern feminist? Dead, and having her child be the host body for the (sorry, spoiler) parasitic soul fragment of the dictator who murdered her, whilst living his life under a sentence of “death by pawn sacrifice in the endgame”? And then grow up to be a COP?

Is he… is this his final answer? Is he sure?

I mean, I spent time as a single mother. I may be looking back through rose-coloured glasses, but I was more into the “macaroni-and-Froot-Loop necklaces and making shampoo Spaceman Spiff hair at bathtime” thing. Decomposing for fun and profit never really seemed an option, and I don’t think I would have wanted that for my child, or me, or even her father, who did his best and was a good dad (my definition: raised someone turned out a good kid. Kids, as I’ve met his other daughters, and they are pretty cool, too), even if we were terrible together.

Acadia
Acadia
3 years ago

One thing that bothered me was that (OK, just in case, spoiler alert!) at the end of book 7 when some of the kids decided to stay and fight and not evacuate, there wasn’t one Slytherin who stayed. If I recall it was most of Gryffindor, a lot of Hufflepuff, fewer Ravenclaw and no Slytherin.

Even with it from Harry’s point of view, Rowling could have done better to paint the Slytherins with a somewhat grayer brush.

Anybody under seventeen was evacuated. We hear only of two underaged wizards who got back in — Ginny Weasely and Colin Creevey.

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of kids per year and they’re split between four Houses. For Gryffindor we hear about nine kids in Harry’s year — five boys (Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Harry, Ron and Neville) and four girls (Parvati Patil, Hermoine, Eloise who’s last name I forget, and Lavender Brown). I assume there’s supposed to be a fifth girl, but we just don’t hear about her. We barely hear much about Eloise.

Going by that, it can be assumed there are ten Slytherins of fighting age. The named seventeen-year-old Slytherins are Draco Malfoy (already a Death Eater), Vincent Crabbe (son of Death Eater if not one himself), Gregory Goyle (also Death Eater or DeathEater’s kid), Theodore Nott (another Death Eater’s kid), Blaize Zambini (hung around Malfoy), Pansy Parkinson (hung around Malfoy), Daphne Greengrass (friend of Pansy’s) and Millicent Bulstrode (known bully).

Pansy was all for giving Harry up to Voldemort before the battle showing that if she wasn’t fully on the dark side, she sure had a healthy fear of it. I don’t think she was trying to impress Malfoy at this point. I believe they weren’t dating anymore by Book Seven. I assume that Blaize, Daphne, and the two unnamed Year Seven Slytherins either support Voldemort’s cause, come from families who do even if they don’t personally, or are too intimidated to stay and battle even if they wanted to. Look at who they’re living with for about nine months out of the year. The stories they’ve probably heard direct from Death Eaters’ kids themselves. They might very well not want to paint targets on their own backs or the backs of their families.

But I do agree the Houses are too cut and dried in the good and evil department. Most Slytherins are either evil or somehow flawed — ex. Horace Slughorn who’s not a bad person, but does enjoy knowing the rich, famous and powerful so he can pull strings to sustain his own comfortable lifestyle. And where are the evil people from the other Houses? You can’t tell me Ravenclaw’s never produced a megalomaniac, Hufflepuff a Dark Wizard or Griffindor a noble but misguided wizard who ends up causing a lot of harm.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

I love Harry Potter. I do however always feel compelled to point out that, back in the 80s, 2000AD had a story about a young boy raised in non magical society with abusive relatives who is surprised one day when a scruffy bloke turns up and tells him he’s a wizard.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wfWyMljKvPA/V-YmiEi0BII/AAAAAAAAFvs/vM5BpnoraMICtXX1a1q-lsU7zl-7wp_bACK4B/s1600/Kelpie.JPG

http://art.cafimg.com/images/Category_85288/subcat_126491/csoSgyyq_0103151131031.jpg

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/britishcomics/images/e/ef/Summer_magic.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130203091106

No need for magic wands when you can transmute a lead bullet into silver to take out a werewolf.

BaronJenks
BaronJenks
3 years ago

I quite like the idea of Alt-Right Literary Criticism, in the same way we have Feminist or Marxist Criticism. We’d gain new insights into literature and the individuals, cultures and institutions that create and influence it. For instance:

Pride and Prejudice : Bingley is a Beta Cuck.

1984: Winston is a Beta Cuck.

The Old Man and the Sea : Santiago is a Beta Cuck.

To the Lighthouse: Mr Ramsey is a Beta Cuck.

I foresee a whole new, wide-ranging, movement in the world of Contemporary Literary Criticism.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
3 years ago

“Cuck” has hit the big time! I saw a headline that read “Bannon calls Kuchner a cuck”.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

BaronJenks:

Pride and Prejudice : Bingley is a Beta Cuck.

I can’t imagine an Alt-Right critic getting beyond the very first line of Pride and Prejudice, TBH.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I think Romeo is the ultimate beta cuck. He killed himself for Juliet when she wasn’t even dead for real! Or maybe Paris is the beta cuck because he was going to marry Juliet even though she was Romeo’s alpha widow.

Alt right literary criticism is complicated.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@BaronJenks

I love this idea. Sense and Sensibility: Colonel Brandon is a cuck.

Oh my god, in the movie he was played by … Alan Rickman. It all comes together now.

(Alan Rickman, I am so sorry. You do not deserve to have your name sullied thus)

P.S. I read the current post, got terribly angry (step- and blended family is pretty normal for me, so I took it all personally), then read the comments and am now immensely cheered. Thanks, all.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Jane Austen obviously wrote a cracking good yarn; but she also had a serious purpose of highlighting the contemporaneous legal status of women, especially in regard to property rights.

For more details…

http://www.jasna.org/persuasions/printed/number11/redmond.htm

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
3 years ago

epronovost wrote:

Can a women be a cuck?

Yes, since the term for a female cuckold is a cuckquean, it can still be shortened to “cuck.”

…which technically makes “cuck” a gender-neutral term, I guess.

Regarding Snape’s motivations re: Harry, while I agree that he was probably seeking atonement and trying to do good, I got the distinct impression there was also a heavy element of vengeance for Lilly directed at Voldemort mixed in as well.

In a way, I see Snape as a consumate professional, in the sense that whatever feelings he may have about something or someone, once he agrees to do the job, that shit gets done.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

The original beta cuck orbiter was Joseph of Nazareth. His wife was impregnated by a more powerful man, and Joseph raised the other man’s son with his carpenter cash. As usual, beta bux, alpha and omega fux.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

God himself though always seemed a bit confused as to whether he was a Chad or a Cuck:

comment image

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@Alan

Sure. In a way, Yahweh was cucked by his own son, who is also himself, and ended up killing himself, in the form of his son, in order to forgive humanity for a sin that he himself laid upon them, although he did resurrect himself quickly and travelled to heaven in order to be by his own side as his own right hand.

It’s complicated!

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

It’s official, for me, anyhow: I can’t stand the word “cuck”.

Tessa
Tessa
3 years ago

Acadia:

I had the numbers wrong, but I was talking about this part:

Slowly the four tables empied. The Slytherin table was completely deserted, but a number of older Ravenclaws remained seated while their fellows filed out; even more Hufflepuffs stayed behind, and half of Gryffindor remained in their seats, necessitating Professor McGonagall’s descent from the teacher’s platform to chivvy the underage on their way.

I’d have liked a handful of Slytherins to have stayed…

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Alan Rickman was also a beta cuck in the film Dogma, orbiting Alanis Morissette.

On edit: though can you be a cuck if you’re “as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll”?

Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
3 years ago

No man wants to be duped into 18 years of servitude to a child that’s not his own. For the few men who walk into cuckoldry with eyes wide open, they never shake the resentment that ceaselessly thrums from knowing they willingly chose to be cuckolds…

… guess I’m no man….

Or, possibly, Mr. Weed-man is just wrong on every level. Sometimes people do the right thing because it is the right thing.

Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
3 years ago

content warning: the following post contains sarcasm

self-flagellating manginas who lap this shit up and hi-five bitterbitches under the false impression that this will earn them a pity handjob.

As a man, it’s tough being decent to women… we always, Always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have to want something sexual in return…. Frankly, it can be exhausting.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

My favourite take on Hufflepuff comes from Ursula Vernon’s short piece “The only Harry Potter Fanfic I will ever Write (Probably)”

http://ursulav.livejournal.com/1595532.html

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

Dumbledore wasn’t headmaster, then (just the Transfiguration teacher). Armando Dippet was headmaster, and he was not terribly bright, under a lot of social pressure, and completely charmed by Riddle. Once Dumbledore was headmaster, he specifically didn’t allow Riddle to come back to Hogwarts as a teacher.

Listen, all I’m saying in is that the threshold for getting expelled at Hogwarts is really weird and Hagrid got the short end of the stick.

(To complete my descent into utter nitpicking, Snape didn’t teach the kids advanced potions. He kept his experiments to himself.)

No, he taught them, he just required that the students get an O in the O.W.L.s to take it and mostly Slytherins got in. I think it’s just Snape was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Harry’s 6th year, which is when Harry took Slughorn’s advanced potions class. (He was much more laxed about O.W.L. scores.)

@Tessa

I think later in the fight, according to Pottermore, some Slytherin did fight but I think that was retroactively added when Rowling finally figured out, “Maybe I made this one house too irredeemable?”