There’s a civil war brewing in the midst of the once-happy alt-right. No, I don’t mean the squabbles between those alt-rightists who’ve abandoned Trump over his Syria attack and those sticking with Daddy — that’s old news. I mean the civil war between the neo-Nazis who think the earth is a globe and those who think it’s flat.
Yes, that’s right: There are Nazi Flat Earthers, for real, who think that “globe-heads” (that’s what flat earthers call the rest of us) are as big of a problem as “globalists.”
This is news not just to you and me but to some in the alt-right itself, including Daily Stormer head boy Andrew Anglin, who posted a joke video about flat eartherism yesterday only to discover that some of his fans take the flat earth very seriously.
In the comments to his post, the Nazi Flat Earthers laid out their case, such as it is. (Here’s a direct link to the discussion on the Daily Stormer forum; archive.is doesn’t seem to work properly with forums.)
“omg, I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured out the world is flat yet…..” wrote someone calling himself Excalibur
here is a challenge for all the non believers , somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI
just one
(Er, this one?)
“Whiteliberty,” meanwhile, suggested that STEM logic supports the flat earth “thesis.”
Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.
You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.
With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.
Many globe claims have been power of suggestion, reliance on authority, and black box frauds. As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007. …
Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.
“Interjew” rehashed a favorite flat earther argument, that ships don’t really go over the horizon at all; they’re just hard to see at such a great distance.
Using modern technology, you can zoom them back in. They’re not a mile below a curvature, they just go beyond the vanishing point of perspective.
3rdRicht had some serious thoughts about moonlight
I only started looking into what Flat Earth theories within the last month.
1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.
I have no idea what he’s talking about or how this “fact,” if true, would support the idea of a flat earth.
“Fun fact,”whitemanshame added, “all the moon mission astronauts were satanic freemasons.”
KingOfTheNorth1488 added sarcastically
If Jews and masons tell me I’m on a spinning ball moving through the universe at near lightspeed, I believe them because they are experts and my eyes are lying to me.
There were, of course, quite a few Daily Stormer readers who took issue with the flat earth nonsense.
“[F]lat earth requires us to believe that almost everything we know about the entirety of physics is completely wrong and upside down,” StormCommando noted.
What are all the thousands of photos of stars, galaxies and planets and why would they go to such extreme lengths to create such a dumb conspiracy? And why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites and go into great detail about their workings, specifications, and spend time making these elaborate and unnecessary ‘props’ in lab environments? Again, utterly stupid idea.
But hey, he went on to add, it’s not like the Holocaust is real though.
I can buy holocaust revisionism because that’s a conceivable lie. It’s about distorting the facts of something which already happened. … [I]t’s very easy with a little examination to disprove the holohoax.
Someone calling himself BobMarely (!) was a little upset that the topic had even come up.
Maybe I am weird but I HATE FLATEARTH MORE THAN CHILD RAPING PAVEMENT APES. Why in the hell is Anglin posting this crap? This is disgusting beyond words. … Is this humor? It doesn’t seem to have any entertainment value. Is the entire goal of this video just to irritate me personally?
Still, even some of those not completely convinced by the flat earth theory had no trouble believing that the moon landings, at least, were faked.
“One thing is for sure: We never went to the moon,” wrote fascistlemming.
I find it kinda shocking that so many people think we did. “The jews faked 6 million dead kikes with fake shower rooms, but faking the moon landing is impossible because of reasons.”
Despite the animus, flat earth Nazis and globeheads alike agreed on one thing: it’s all the fault of the lying Jews.
As the round-earthers see it, it’s the Jews who are behind the flat earth movement. A fellow calling himself Dune noted:
One of the main proponents of [the flat earth theory] is a jew named Mark Sargent. … Anything lead by a jew and randomly pushed toward the masses via their pawns is questionable for the larger picture they may be working towards.
To JosephGoebbels,
the flat earth theory comes from the jews who will do anything they can to get white people to not believe in the Holy Bible as truth.
Don’t ask me to explain this theory in more detail, as Mr. Goebbels didn’t even explain it himself.
The flat earthers, meanwhile, suggest that Jews are hiding the reality of the flat earth behind a mountain of Jew lies.
SouthernFascist suggested that
They lie about the holocaust, they lie about the bible, they lie about every single war, they constantly change history, the pretend to be part of the European diaspora, they lie about the control their banks have, they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats, so if any of this flat earth stiff has any merit at all, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the jews were lying about that too.
[W]hitemanshame was a bit more definite on this point:
Globe theory hatched from the Jews.
Do your research.
Jews, Jesuits and freemasons pushed the globe fantasy.
Anglin, annoyed both by the flat earthers and by those anti-flat-earthers who didn’t realize the flat earth video he posted had been a joke, added a big disclaimer at the top of the posts — and closed the comments.
In a followup post, he made clear to his readers that not only isn’t he a flat earther; he doesn’t even want people talking about the subject on his website.
I do not believe the earth is flat, nor is it something I want to promote to people.
If you do believe the earth is flat, that is your own business, but I don’t want that on my website.
Again, it was a mistake to post the video, as I am aware that there is an army of people on the internet who push this idea.
I don’t even want to make this post, because I don’t want these people sending me fifty trillion emails, but I want to be clear that I didn’t make that post to endorse flat earth theories. …
Seriously though, this type of thing is just… I mean, use some common sense, guys.
I understand you’re not scientists, and I understand you’ve been lied to a lot so you’re willing to question anything, but just look: 100% of scientists would either be lying about this or be in on the conspiracy, while 100% of pilots and shipmen would have to be in on the conspiracy, along with all of the governments of the world, the militaries, television, telecommunications and any other company that uses satellites and on and on and on would have to be in on this conspiracy to lie to you about the shape of the earth.
He’s right, of course. It just seems like a slightly ironic argument for someone who is a Holocaust denier to make.
Here in Sweden, there’s some sort of epic conspiracy troll of the Hindu variety who goes by internet aliases Snilleblixten (Stroke of Genious), Död o återfödd (Dead and Reborn), and probably a bunch of others. He’s registered to basically every Swedish online platform in existence, focusing on blog networks and message boards of all kinds.
This guy is pretty much a midpoint between Alex Jones and Dennis Markuze, in that he believes in every single conspiracy theory ever uttered, rejects every known fact about the world, and rambles incoherently in endless teal deers packed with youtube links.
He has been around for many years, and his pet issues are Hinduism, atheism, chemtrails, numerology, vegetarianism, moon landing trutherism, 9/11 trutherism, reincarnation, von Däniken-ism, archeology/paleontology trutherism, mysticism, and (of course) yelling about being unfairly treated by moderators. Recently, he seems to have focused quite a bit on false flag conspiracy theories, especially the Berlin truck attack last December.
However, the topic he cares the absolute most about is geocentrism, combined with the idea that the Earth is hollow. A few years ago he wrote a massive “dissertation” on the topic, which he posted in full to message boards and various blogs all over the internet. For a while, he was so notorious that he actually got email interviews with somewhat credible news outlets, despite only being known through internet aliases and the same recycled profile pic that he’s been using for, idk, 15 years?
His Hollow Earth rants are amazingly strange. In short, he believes that the planet has giant holes on both poles, which “they” are concealing for reasons unknown. As evidence for this, he’s posted satellite pictures of Earth where you can see circular openings in clouds, or pictures of storms, claiming that the circle seen in the picture is actually a hole in the planet’s surface. He believe this confirms his pole hole theory, despite these circles not appearing anywhere near the poles, and despite not believing in satellites.
He is a UFO believer, even though he views space travel as impossible. For this reason, he’s come to the conclusion that “aliens” are not actually extraterrestrials, but rather intraterrestrials, i.e. they live inside the Hollow Earth and their vehicles travel to the surface through the pole holes in order to monitor us. He also believes that the aurora borealis is a light show put on by the intraterrestrials, again for reasons unknown.
This guy makes my head hurt so much, a number of years ago I had to make the decision to just pretend he doesn’t exist.
@ opposable thumbs
Double decker buses are approximately the size of newly discovered dinosaurs. So you’d probably have to lay a bunch of brontosauruses end to end at Anfield or something to work that out.
I think out of all of the flat-earthers theories, the one that makes me laugh the most is the one where Australia doesn’t exist; Australia is a hoax.
To what end? What is the purpose of majiking away a continent? SMH.
ETA: I was wrong. IP’s guy wins.
It’s strange to measure lengths in terms of football pitches, since there are numerous variants of football, with differently-sized pitches. Australian rules football pitches aren’t even rectangular! If they really existed, that is.
@Alan:
Isn’t it? Of course, in the US, that’s bound to lead to confusion, as soccer pitches and football (as in hand-egg) stadia may or may not be the same size. (I’m no sports buff, so I can’t tell you, but I’m sure someone else could.)
Also, fun trivia fact: “Gymnasium” literally means “place to get naked”, because the ancient Greeks did their exercises and sports in the altogether. (Hence all those wonderfully constructed nude statues, which were probably all posed for by athletes of the day.) Meanwhile, the German word for high school is also “Gymnasium”, for reasons unclear. (Nudity, obviously, plays no part there, although sports most certainly do.)
‘nother fun trivia fact: Western railroad gauge is literally based on the width of two horses’ arses, dating all the way back to Roman times. It’s true!
@ bina
Ta; love stuff like that. Funnily enough that Housesteads cart rut research thing was what I was referring to back when we were having the discussion about the origins driving on the left.
I’ll swap you a bit of trivia, and tie in horses, by mentioning that ‘football’ games are so called because they’re played on foot, not horseback (that’s what the Rugby League says anyway).
David Futrelle,
As if we didn’t have good reason to regard Nazis as ignorant and anti science before!
This is making me want to read the 4th Oz book again. Dorothy and the Wizard fall through to the center of the earth when an earthquake causes the ground to open up. They meet people made of vegetables, invisible bears and malevolent living wooden gargoyles. Maybe this guy read it and thought it was a non-fiction?
Oh wow, you could theoretically have a completely square football pitch.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/rules_and_equipment/4200666.stm
Wow, okay. So, I haven’t checked in with this troll guy in quite a few years, as I mentioned. Turns out that in September 2016, he wrote a long blog post declaring his Flat Eartherism. I’m not sure if this means he’s abandoned his Hollow Eartherism, or if he thinks Earth is both hollow and flat somehow. Many of his other ideas depend on the Hollow Earth theories, so I have no idea how he reconciles his newfound Flat Eartherism with all his other crap. I am tempted to ask, but I know from experience that it’s like trying to get a straight answer from Kelly-Anne Conway.
In case anyone’s interested in seeing his style of trolling, here’s his 1500 word Flat Earth post, which also contains links to 17 youtube videos (and an additional youtube video in the comments), 5 pictures, 7 links to other Flat Earth sources, and 17 emojis:
https://snilleblixten.net/2016/09/30/jorden-ar-platt-bevisas-nu-av-laserexperiment/
Here’s his 4500 word rant on being suspended from a message board:
https://snilleblixten.net/2017/01/06/flashbacks-brutala-misshandel-av-dod-o-aterfodd-aterigen-kallblodigt-avstangd/
It contains 7 youtube videos, 14 other links, and 21 emojis.
@ WWTH
Isn’t there some sort of conspiracy theory* that the Oz books are a political allegory about coming off the gold standard or something?
(* Or would that me more of an urban legend? Assuming it’s not true of course)
@Troubelle
I really like your lyrics. 🙂
On topic: I’m doubtful these believers will ever be open to being disproved. I live with one and he seems to adhere to this almost out of spite. When I ask what the point of all these conspiracies are, I’m told that it’s a fight for control of human minds. Appearantly, there exists a vast group controlling our information and leaving us little clues as to the workings of their organizations because they can (?)
Regrettably, I’ve tried to reason with my partner, but I cannot fathom higher maths and neither can he. Even if I could demonstrate to him that the earth is round- he would come up with some other denial or justification.
Just last night we were sitting under the fullish moon and he mentioned wanting to buy some thermometers to measure the temps in and out of the moonlight. He wants to believe the moon generates its own cold light.
At least he thinks lizard-people are nonsense… :/
I’ve seen that before. Some of them just extend the concept of Hollow Earth to encompass the idea that there’s a reverse side, which still works in the context of a flat plane, even if that means that your top argument against globe Earth (that you would fall from the underside) is no longer valid, since you also admit to an underside.
Someone also asked who benefits from this conspiracy? Satan. It’s the literal answer to everything.
Oh crank magnetism, you never fail to frustrate and amuse in equal portions…
@IP
I’m imagining some sort of Earth –> secret intraterrestrial hellscape –> Earth sandwich.
This must be what Lovecraft meant by unnatural angles and non-Euclidean geometry.
Just want to say, that hollow-earth-with-holes-at-the-poles theory has been around quite a while. I remember folks talking about it on UFO shows when I eas a kid in the 70s, and that some form of it had influenced Poe when writing The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym…, although that’s not was actually existed in his story. It may be even much older than that.
That’s amazing.
On behalf of physicists everywhere, could you ask him what “cold light” is, please? We’d love to know. It could completely revolutionise so many things, not least of which is thermodynamics.
I love flat earth theory because by examining its challenges to mainstream science you can actually learn something.
For example, why there aren’t commercial flights over the south pole but there are over the north pole? The answer is that it’s not that convenient to flight over Antarctica, because there aren’t many routes where it could be useful, and also you don’t want to crashland into Antarctica if needed.
Or the stuff about the horizon. It’s true that you can’t see the curvature of the earth looking at the horizon. Once I went on top of a mountain on an island, and I could see the horizon all around me. It was basically a straight line all around me making a circle. It was also scary as hell.
At some point you start to look down to see the horizon, and that’s where you start seeing that you’re looking at a sphere, but before that it’s not obvious.
Hollow earth fantasies have been around since the 19th century or earlier, right? All those early adventure stories about finding the secret passageway in the Himalayas or wherever and discovering a hidden wilderness or lost civilization or whatever.
@Steven Dutch
Thing is, the whole edifice of the Catholic Church is predicated on them not being wrong, ever, about anything substantive.
@Alan
On this side of the pond we say ‘football fields’, and I suspect it’s a differenet length in fact.
Sure you do. The answer is ‘ quite tall indeed’. Which is the point that people who make the comparison are getting at; Saying ‘We’re being attacked by a kaiju 100 metres tall’, is not going to produce a very good picture in most people’s minds, and saying 340 feet tall won’t be much better. But if you say ‘it’s twice as tall as Nelson’s Column, than any Londoner will have an idea of how big the monster stomping on the city actually is.
(Although apparently most people who’ve used Nelson’s column for comparative purposes have been wrong; It’s apparently 16 feet shorter than previously believed.
Yes
@IBH Ardipithecus
They disappear below the ocean, silly!
@Moregeekthan
Yup. First proposed in the 17th century by Edmond Halley. Yes, that Halley.
@Bina
Your link says the opposite.
@Empires of Azure
Much obliged.
Also…hypothetical Gods bless ya for putting up with your boyfriend. I couldn’t do that.
My vocabulary has been expanded by the phrase “pole hole.”
@PoM
I was quite proud of that phrasing myself. :p Glad you’re making use of it.
@Empires of Azure
I can tell you from experience (fortunately with a now-ex) that the rabbit hole your partner’s going down leads to some very, very ugly places. Be careful, and be safe.