There’s a civil war brewing in the midst of the once-happy alt-right. No, I don’t mean the squabbles between those alt-rightists who’ve abandoned Trump over his Syria attack and those sticking with Daddy — that’s old news. I mean the civil war between the neo-Nazis who think the earth is a globe and those who think it’s flat.
Yes, that’s right: There are Nazi Flat Earthers, for real, who think that “globe-heads” (that’s what flat earthers call the rest of us) are as big of a problem as “globalists.”
This is news not just to you and me but to some in the alt-right itself, including Daily Stormer head boy Andrew Anglin, who posted a joke video about flat eartherism yesterday only to discover that some of his fans take the flat earth very seriously.
In the comments to his post, the Nazi Flat Earthers laid out their case, such as it is. (Here’s a direct link to the discussion on the Daily Stormer forum; archive.is doesn’t seem to work properly with forums.)
“omg, I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured out the world is flat yet…..” wrote someone calling himself Excalibur
here is a challenge for all the non believers , somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI
just one
(Er, this one?)
“Whiteliberty,” meanwhile, suggested that STEM logic supports the flat earth “thesis.”
Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.
You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.
With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.
Many globe claims have been power of suggestion, reliance on authority, and black box frauds. As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007. …
Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.
“Interjew” rehashed a favorite flat earther argument, that ships don’t really go over the horizon at all; they’re just hard to see at such a great distance.
Using modern technology, you can zoom them back in. They’re not a mile below a curvature, they just go beyond the vanishing point of perspective.
3rdRicht had some serious thoughts about moonlight
I only started looking into what Flat Earth theories within the last month.
1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.
I have no idea what he’s talking about or how this “fact,” if true, would support the idea of a flat earth.
“Fun fact,”whitemanshame added, “all the moon mission astronauts were satanic freemasons.”
KingOfTheNorth1488 added sarcastically
If Jews and masons tell me I’m on a spinning ball moving through the universe at near lightspeed, I believe them because they are experts and my eyes are lying to me.
There were, of course, quite a few Daily Stormer readers who took issue with the flat earth nonsense.
“[F]lat earth requires us to believe that almost everything we know about the entirety of physics is completely wrong and upside down,” StormCommando noted.
What are all the thousands of photos of stars, galaxies and planets and why would they go to such extreme lengths to create such a dumb conspiracy? And why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites and go into great detail about their workings, specifications, and spend time making these elaborate and unnecessary ‘props’ in lab environments? Again, utterly stupid idea.
But hey, he went on to add, it’s not like the Holocaust is real though.
I can buy holocaust revisionism because that’s a conceivable lie. It’s about distorting the facts of something which already happened. … [I]t’s very easy with a little examination to disprove the holohoax.
Someone calling himself BobMarely (!) was a little upset that the topic had even come up.
Maybe I am weird but I HATE FLATEARTH MORE THAN CHILD RAPING PAVEMENT APES. Why in the hell is Anglin posting this crap? This is disgusting beyond words. … Is this humor? It doesn’t seem to have any entertainment value. Is the entire goal of this video just to irritate me personally?
Still, even some of those not completely convinced by the flat earth theory had no trouble believing that the moon landings, at least, were faked.
“One thing is for sure: We never went to the moon,” wrote fascistlemming.
I find it kinda shocking that so many people think we did. “The jews faked 6 million dead kikes with fake shower rooms, but faking the moon landing is impossible because of reasons.”
Despite the animus, flat earth Nazis and globeheads alike agreed on one thing: it’s all the fault of the lying Jews.
As the round-earthers see it, it’s the Jews who are behind the flat earth movement. A fellow calling himself Dune noted:
One of the main proponents of [the flat earth theory] is a jew named Mark Sargent. … Anything lead by a jew and randomly pushed toward the masses via their pawns is questionable for the larger picture they may be working towards.
To JosephGoebbels,
the flat earth theory comes from the jews who will do anything they can to get white people to not believe in the Holy Bible as truth.
Don’t ask me to explain this theory in more detail, as Mr. Goebbels didn’t even explain it himself.
The flat earthers, meanwhile, suggest that Jews are hiding the reality of the flat earth behind a mountain of Jew lies.
SouthernFascist suggested that
They lie about the holocaust, they lie about the bible, they lie about every single war, they constantly change history, the pretend to be part of the European diaspora, they lie about the control their banks have, they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats, so if any of this flat earth stiff has any merit at all, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the jews were lying about that too.
[W]hitemanshame was a bit more definite on this point:
Globe theory hatched from the Jews.
Do your research.
Jews, Jesuits and freemasons pushed the globe fantasy.
Anglin, annoyed both by the flat earthers and by those anti-flat-earthers who didn’t realize the flat earth video he posted had been a joke, added a big disclaimer at the top of the posts — and closed the comments.
In a followup post, he made clear to his readers that not only isn’t he a flat earther; he doesn’t even want people talking about the subject on his website.
I do not believe the earth is flat, nor is it something I want to promote to people.
If you do believe the earth is flat, that is your own business, but I don’t want that on my website.
Again, it was a mistake to post the video, as I am aware that there is an army of people on the internet who push this idea.
I don’t even want to make this post, because I don’t want these people sending me fifty trillion emails, but I want to be clear that I didn’t make that post to endorse flat earth theories. …
Seriously though, this type of thing is just… I mean, use some common sense, guys.
I understand you’re not scientists, and I understand you’ve been lied to a lot so you’re willing to question anything, but just look: 100% of scientists would either be lying about this or be in on the conspiracy, while 100% of pilots and shipmen would have to be in on the conspiracy, along with all of the governments of the world, the militaries, television, telecommunications and any other company that uses satellites and on and on and on would have to be in on this conspiracy to lie to you about the shape of the earth.
He’s right, of course. It just seems like a slightly ironic argument for someone who is a Holocaust denier to make.
I can’t wait for commercial space travel.
ColeYote:
It’s the sort of definition which is popular with creationists, though. Notice how the same commenter dismisses the Big Bang, even though that’s irrelevant to the discussion: this too suggests they’re a creationist. Any science which contradicts their particular interpretation of the bible must be disparaged at every opportunity.
@Betrayer
What I’ve never understood is how they explain the seasons. Particularly considering they are different in the southern hemisphere than the northern one.
@Handsome Jack
If you imagine the sun as moving in a circular path over the flat earth, you can see that some bits of the surface can be further away from the sun than others. If the sun follows the equator, the north pole is quite a long way from it, and is therefore cold. The impassable ice wall at the rim is further away still, which is why it is extra extra cold. Easy!
I think you can explain seasons if you have the sun travel in an expanding and contracting (possibly hourglass-shaped) path that’s slightly off-center.
Anyway, this is why you can’t trivially debunk flat earth theories without resorting to complex things that flatearthers are wilfully ignorant of, like physics and geometry. For example, the magical light bending effect should be straightforward to demonstrate with a nice reflecting laser experiment. LIGO has 4km beam paths, with reflectors in them that given them an effective length of >1000km (https://www.ligo.caltech.edu/page/ligos-ifo) and there’s no light bending to be seen there. Sure, the conspiracy peeps wil cry conspiracy, but they’ll never manage to explain what the point of such a conspiracy would be (and they won’t bother to make their own version of the experiment, which could be way cheaper and simpler if they weren’t doing interferometry).
This is pure gold. That last quote… That one must have mastered the art of self deception well.
I used to have irrational beliefs when I was young. I thought that the pyramids were built by aliens. Thankfully the library had a section on astronomy and archeology as well as Erich von Däniken’s books, so I read those too and learned reasonable well worked out explanations for things. I realised that the only reason I believed in the ancient aliens was because I really wanted for there to be aliens but they were obviously just shoehorned in.
These holocaust denialists have gotten so good at only believing what they want to, they’ve become detached from reality. They don’t believe one part of the story so strongly they start to question the whole of reality.
I have relatives like this – not nazis, but 9/11 truther, NWO fearing NoVacc’ers. Good people but with an irrational fear of anything
. Their poor kid got measles at 16. They wont talk about it. Unless you want to hear all about how the big pharma wants to kill us all to make profit (Huh?).
Sometimes I wonder where all this reality denial will lead.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/usa-election-mapnov10.jpg
It costs $75,000 to take an ultra-high altitude balloon ride. These balloons go so far up that you can see the curvature of the Earth for yourself. If they really believe the Earth is flat, then they could crowdfund a few of these trips to prove it.
I am pretty into the Bible, seeing as part of my IRL actual job is to teach people about it.
…The Bible makes no comment on the shape of the earth, beyond a couple of lines of poetry that in no way suggest a scientific proposition. It’s like how Dean Martin’s song does not prove he thinks the moon is similar to pizza or that it literally strikes people’s eyeballs.
It’s clear to me the earth is flat. I’m not sure why “scientists” are attempting to mislead us. But my guess is that they’re mystifying nature for job security. When they have to spend a lot of time explaining their complex “theories,” that’s more hours of work per day, week, and year.
Use your common sense. Look around you. It’s abundantly clear that we do not live on a globe that is spinning through space. If we were, we would all have vertigo.
No, we live on a flat earth — well, a mostly flat earth, except for the mountains and valleys.
You might say there are gigantic holes in my Mostly Flat Earth theory. Something about the equator and the moon and the positions of the stars, yada yada. Columbus. The Vikings. Woop dee do. This is where my lack of scientific knowledge comes in handy.
I know what I see. Therefore I know what is true.
But Kat, how does your Mostly Flat Earth theory explain the Australians clinging to the underside of the Earth?
Don’t tell me you fell for the Australia hoax, EJ! Look at their supposed wildlife: it’s obviously fictional.
@EJ
Australians clinging to the bottom of the earth: Is that the newest scientific theory? Nonsense. Australians don’t cling to anything. The earth is Mostly Flat and stretches out as far as the eye can see and then some. And beyond what the eye can see lies — well, anyone’s guess.
Ha, ha! This seems to be an ad for a gym. And the guy, who’s he? Maybe Donald Trump’s imagined self?
If Australians don’t cling to anything, then who did the koalas learn it from? Checkmate, evolutionists.
(I now realise that my attempt at a gotcha was foiled by Moggie’s cunning. Well done. I bow to someone funnier than I am.)
Wow. I wonder what it’s like being a relative of such a person. (flat-earther nazi) These people live in a completely separate reality.
@EJ
Koalas? They’re adorable, as Qantas Airlines never tires of pointing out. Adorable except for their sharp teeth. But I’m never going to corner one, so I don’t think a koala will use those sharp teeth against me, one of their biggest fans.
Sorry, were you making a point about evolution?
Hitler was a bit of a fan of the inverted earth theory. That’s the idea that we live on the inside of a sphere. He ordered a guy called Heinz Fischer on an expedition to the Baltic where they pointed infra red telescopes into the sky so they could look down on the British fleet.
Didn’t work.
I almost believed Michael Suttkus was a an actual flat-earther troll.
Kootiepatra:
Yeah, but biblical literalists are a thing. A particularly stupid thing. They’ll point to the “four corners” stuff in Isaiah and Revelation, or the devil taking Jesus onto a high mountain and showing him the whole world, and call checkmate.
As for Dean Martin, the guy was clearly a fool. This is a moray:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GK6NBMmZ2P0/TmxNuECRwCI/AAAAAAAAA4E/rJ2Tl64rdv8/s1600/moray_eel_1.jpg
@Kat,
Koalas are far too lazy to even consider using their claws or teeth for anything other than chewing and holding on to the tree they’re about to fall asleep in. This observation is based on my extensive research (i.e. seeing them a few times). I have actually held the baby ones and they are pretty damn adorable.
As for this business about Australians falling off … you guys are so close to the actual truth. So close.
Perhaps they’d like to explain why the bases of these otherwise perfectly visible wind turbines disappear below the horizon…
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10207564244079038&l=aec918d080
@PoM, IP,
Thanks, I thought so. It’s depressing that I sort of knew what they meant.
@ChimericMind,
Your comment inspired me to spend a fun few minutes spoonerising “pavement raping child ape”. Thanks 🙂
Eratosthenes of Cyrene was a Jewish Jesuit freemason? I’m shocked, SHOCKED!
@ bina
It’s funny how we still use “that’s the length of x football pitches” even today.
(Over here we also use “Nelson’s Column(s)” as the unit of height. Which is weird because even I have no idea how tall that actually is and I used to walk past the thing several times a week)
How many double-decker buses in a football pitch? And how many football pitches in a Wales? (or should that be Albert Halls or even Olympic swimming-pools, I forget)
At least Discworld has some consistency to its geography (probably due to the high concentrations of narrativium), even if one of the elephants occasionally has to lift a leg to let the sun get past.