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There are, for real, Nazi Flat Earthers, and they need to fall off the edge of the world

Hitler takes aim at the ball earth propagandists at NASA

There’s a civil war brewing in the midst of the once-happy alt-right. No, I don’t mean the squabbles between those alt-rightists who’ve abandoned Trump over his Syria attack and those sticking with Daddy — that’s old news. I mean the civil war between the neo-Nazis who think the earth is a globe and those who think it’s flat.

Yes, that’s right: There are Nazi Flat Earthers, for real, who think that “globe-heads” (that’s what flat earthers call the rest of us) are as big of a problem as “globalists.”

This is news not just to you and me but to some in the alt-right itself, including Daily Stormer head boy Andrew Anglin, who posted a joke video about flat eartherism yesterday only to discover that some of his fans take the flat earth very seriously.

In the comments to his post, the Nazi Flat Earthers laid out their case, such as it is. (Here’s a direct link to the discussion on the Daily Stormer forum; archive.is doesn’t seem to work properly with forums.)

“omg, I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured out the world is flat yet…..” wrote someone calling himself Excalibur

here is a challenge for all the non believers , somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI
just one

(Er, this one?)

“Whiteliberty,” meanwhile, suggested that STEM logic supports the flat earth “thesis.”

Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.

You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.

With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.

Many globe claims have been power of suggestion, reliance on authority, and black box frauds. As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007. …

Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.

“Interjew” rehashed a favorite flat earther argument, that ships don’t really go over the horizon at all; they’re just hard to see at such a great distance.

Using modern technology, you can zoom them back in. They’re not a mile below a curvature, they just go beyond the vanishing point of perspective.

3rdRicht had some serious thoughts about moonlight

I only started looking into what Flat Earth theories within the last month.

1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.

I have no idea what he’s talking about or how this “fact,” if true, would support the idea of a flat earth.

“Fun fact,”whitemanshame added, “all the moon mission astronauts were satanic freemasons.”

KingOfTheNorth1488 added sarcastically

If Jews and masons tell me I’m on a spinning ball moving through the universe at near lightspeed, I believe them because they are experts and my eyes are lying to me.

There were, of course, quite a few Daily Stormer readers who took issue with the flat earth nonsense.

“[F]lat earth requires us to believe that almost everything we know about the entirety of physics is completely wrong and upside down,” StormCommando noted.

What are all the thousands of photos of stars, galaxies and planets and why would they go to such extreme lengths to create such a dumb conspiracy? And why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites and go into great detail about their workings, specifications, and spend time making these elaborate and unnecessary ‘props’ in lab environments? Again, utterly stupid idea.

But hey, he went on to add, it’s not like the Holocaust is real though.

I can buy holocaust revisionism because that’s a conceivable lie. It’s about distorting the facts of something which already happened. … [I]t’s very easy with a little examination to disprove the holohoax.

Someone calling himself BobMarely (!) was a little upset that the topic had even come up.

Maybe I am weird but I HATE FLATEARTH MORE THAN CHILD RAPING PAVEMENT APES. Why in the hell is Anglin posting this crap? This is disgusting beyond words. … Is this humor? It doesn’t seem to have any entertainment value. Is the entire goal of this video just to irritate me personally?

Still, even some of those not completely convinced by the flat earth theory had no trouble believing that the moon landings, at least, were faked.

“One thing is for sure: We never went to the moon,” wrote fascistlemming.

I find it kinda shocking that so many people think we did. “The jews faked 6 million dead kikes with fake shower rooms, but faking the moon landing is impossible because of reasons.”

Despite the animus, flat earth Nazis and globeheads alike agreed on one thing: it’s all the fault of the lying Jews.

As the round-earthers see it, it’s the Jews who are behind the flat earth movement. A fellow calling himself Dune noted:

One of the main proponents of [the flat earth theory] is a jew named Mark Sargent. … Anything lead by a jew and randomly pushed toward the masses via their pawns is questionable for the larger picture they may be working towards.

To JosephGoebbels,

the flat earth theory comes from the jews who will do anything they can to get white people to not believe in the Holy Bible as truth.

Don’t ask me to explain this theory in more detail, as Mr. Goebbels didn’t even explain it himself.

The flat earthers, meanwhile, suggest that Jews are hiding the reality of the flat earth behind a mountain of Jew lies.

SouthernFascist suggested that

They lie about the holocaust, they lie about the bible, they lie about every single war, they constantly change history, the pretend to be part of the European diaspora, they lie about the control their banks have, they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats, so if any of this flat earth stiff has any merit at all, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the jews were lying about that too.

[W]hitemanshame was a bit more definite on this point:

Globe theory hatched from the Jews.
Do your research.
Jews, Jesuits and freemasons pushed the globe fantasy.

Anglin, annoyed both by the flat earthers and by those anti-flat-earthers who didn’t realize the flat earth video he posted had been a joke, added a big disclaimer at the top of the posts — and closed the comments.

In a followup post, he made clear to his readers that not only isn’t he a flat earther; he doesn’t even want people talking about the subject on his website.

 I do not believe the earth is flat, nor is it something I want to promote to people.

If you do believe the earth is flat, that is your own business, but I don’t want that on my website.

Again, it was a mistake to post the video, as I am aware that there is an army of people on the internet who push this idea.

I don’t even want to make this post, because I don’t want these people sending me fifty trillion emails, but I want to be clear that I didn’t make that post to endorse flat earth theories. …

Seriously though, this type of thing is just… I mean, use some common sense, guys.

I understand you’re not scientists, and I understand you’ve been lied to a lot so you’re willing to question anything, but just look: 100% of scientists would either be lying about this or be in on the conspiracy, while 100% of pilots and shipmen would have to be in on the conspiracy, along with all of the governments of the world, the militaries, television, telecommunications and any other company that uses satellites and on and on and on would have to be in on this conspiracy to lie to you about the shape of the earth.

He’s right, of course. It just seems like a slightly ironic argument for someone who is a Holocaust denier to make.

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Pie
Pie
7 years ago

Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. .

Y’know, I’d never heard this argument before. Presumably if you get a vacuum chamber and a rocket engine and a load cell and combine them for a nice demonstration of newton’s wossnames, he’d claim it wasn’t a true vacuum? This is why people go for silly wishy-washy arguments that can’t be disproved straightfowardly.

This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission

I wonder when it will become possible for any idiot with a credit card and an ebay account to get the stuff you need to either see the rubbish nasa left on the moon. I think you can probably do the bouncing-a-laser-off-a-retroreflector thing for under $100k these days…

Pie
Pie
7 years ago

@Matchstick

Presumably my cheap Newtonian reflector contains thousands of pounds worth of complex computational and display hardware dedicated to showing me a fake image that exactly matches what I would manually calculate I should see based on my “latitude” and is also perfectly synchronized with every other telescope and pair of binoculars ON THE PLANET.

http://i.imgflip.com/1n0mx7.jpg

@Iseult the idle

And that the disks just happen to be facing the earth all the time?

What about the sun? is it also a disk? How thick is it? For that matter, how thick is the earth?

You can ask the internet for the answers to these questions, if you’re prepared to spend hours wading around in a sea of rich, thick stupidity. Much like creationists, flat earthers have had a long time to think up ever more convoluted explanations for the world.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
7 years ago

Not participating in this debate: Hollow Earth Nazis, because they’re hiding inside.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
7 years ago

This is becoming surreal.

It reminds me of an incident, several years ago, where a friend of my husband’s said he had read on the internet, that Obama was planning to outlaw religion.

The mind reels…

Matchstick
Matchstick
7 years ago

@Pie

ah of course…. that explains EVERYTHING !
(I still see Babylon 5’s Londo Mollari every time I come across that picture)

calmdown
calmdown
7 years ago

Personally, I prefer an Earth with some curvature.

dlouwe
dlouwe
7 years ago

@Troubelle

The song is pretty long – there might be an auto-moderator trigger for posts of a certain length, so it might just be in the queue until David approves it. Something like that seems likely, since you’re still able to make posts. I’d suggest either waiting for a bit to see if it shows up, or shooting David an email about it.

hugseverycat
hugseverycat
7 years ago

Much like creationists, flat earthers have had a long time to think up ever more convoluted explanations for the world.

Jumping off this comment, flat-earthers have a huge range of contradictory explanations for all sorts of phenomena. That these explanations are mutually exclusive and approximately as plausible as the theory that the earth is being carried through space by a giant turtle does not bother them, it’s up to “real scientists” to reconcile them all, if the so-called scientists will ever wake up to the fact that the earth clearly isn’t a globe, then they’ll be able to figure it all out.

My favorite flat earth theory is that the sun is a big flashlight moving in irregular circles over the plane of the earth. This is a real theory. I didn’t make it up.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
7 years ago

@calmdown: nicely played. I’m with you on that.

@Everyone: I find this next bit to be hysterical:

With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.

If the earth was any shape I wanted it to be, I could also dream up a world where all the lines point in the same direction.

Sheesh.

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
7 years ago

I’m not even remotely surprised that there is a considerable contingent of Nazi flat-eathers. Scratch at pretty much any conspiracy theory and you’ll find anti-Semitism right beneath the surface.

Steampunked
Steampunked
7 years ago

Well. I guess…that’s a…thing…

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
7 years ago

My question as always is this: if the earth is flat, where is the edge?

Antartica.

The current dominant paradigm in these circles is that the Earth is a disk (not a square… that would be *silly*) with Antartica at the edge, and the United Nations are taunting everyone by actually showing the true flat Earth’s shape in their logo.

Follow up question: Why doesn’t the ocean spill off of the edge?

Impassable ice wall due to the fact that temperature drops the further away from the center you get.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
7 years ago

I will no doubt regret asking but … what are “child raping pavement apes?”
Are they what I’m thinking they might be?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
7 years ago

From the OP

1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.

I actually sort of know what this is supposed to mean. I think Flat Earthers don’t accept that “moonlight” is just light from the Sun that’s reflected off the moon’s surface. Something with their model prohibits this from being the case. Instead, they believe the Moon gives off a light of its own, but it’s a cold light. The evidence is that when you place a thermometer in the moonlight, it reads the temperature as slightly lower than when you place it in the shade. The real explanation is, as far as I can understand, that the shade is less exposed to the cold night sky, and moonlight isn’t all that warm.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

I will no doubt regret asking but … what are “child raping pavement apes?”
Are they what I’m thinking they might be?

If your guess was “black people” then it’s the same as my guess.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
7 years ago

@Mish

what are “child raping pavement apes?”
Are they what I’m thinking they might be?

You guessed it. It’s this little asshole.

http://www.averycuriouscase.com/uploads/8/2/7/1/82711808/img-5873_orig.jpg

But seriously though, yes, they mean black men.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

But why is the center warm and the periphery cold? What’s heating the center?

ETA: Why is it that it gets cold if you go to the extreme north or south but not if you go directly east or west?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
7 years ago

That pseudo-science is always so hilariously wrong.

@wwth

Directions are also a jewish conspiracy.

Betrayer
Betrayer
7 years ago

What I’ve never understood is how they explain the seasons. Particularly considering they are different in the southern hemisphere than the northern one.

For days to stay the same length of time, but not have the same amount of daylight, PLUS having the amount of daylight depend on where you are in the world – how could that happen on a flat earth?

JoeB
JoeB
7 years ago

@Artic Ape
Hollow Earth with Nazis inside and Hitler survived WWII is my favorite conspiracy for crank-magnetism/CT-Synergy

@WWTH
Yeah, at least Discworld does it the opposite way (center cold, rim hot) which is kind of explainable.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
7 years ago

@Betrayer

All of those things are also a conspiracy.

The JOOOZ weave powerful incantations to keep you under the illusion that the Earth isn’t flat.

http://gifyu.com/images/magicb41e5.gif

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

A note on ablism, I’m curious about if there are thoughts about “carrots” and “sticks”. I’m not criticizing anyone, mostly curious about my own stuff.

Any mental illness related term can be fairly treated like a non-literalism from my perspective. When I see someone use one in an argument I always test their ability to show me the part of reality present in the specific social example. It weeds out some of the ones that can’t actually describe what they feel negatively about, and is a place where they need to think about things for a while. It’s a sensitive thing to do in practice no matter what the role-modeling value and I don’t tend to criticize how people call them out because that would be bad social strategy (besides I’m still thinking about best methods because I often get more intense than I need to be).

While it’s a rule new commentators might might not be aware of, they would find it useful to practice because you will become better at describing what they fear, are angered, by, surprised by, or disgusted by. We feel it too, we just choose to put the feelings to a more constructive use here.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

My question as always is this: if the earth is flat, where is the edge?

Antartica.

Follow up question: Why doesn’t the ocean spill off of the edge?

Impassable ice wall due to the fact that temperature drops the further away from the center you get.

Wait…That doesn’t make sense. Both the north and south poles are cold. If Antarctica is the edge, wouldn’t that put the North Pole somewhere in the middle of the world disc? And what about people who landed on different shores of Antarctica and the North Pole?

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
7 years ago

Imaginary Petal: No, that’s a PAVEMENT-raping CHILD ape, you got it the wrong way around.