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Mocking Mike Pence’s lady dining rule is “an attack on White Marriage,” Alt-Rightist insists

Mike Pence: 100% sexy, or just 99?

Most of us have moved on from that whole “Mike Pence refuses to go to dinner alone with women other than his wife because he’s apparently afraid they might end up doing it on the table right there next to the Crispy Shrimp Lettuce Wraps.”

But the internet Nazis over on AltRight.com are still plenty mad — not at Pence or his little rule, but at those in the “Lügenpresse” who made fun of it (or pointed out that such a rule systematically disadvantages women in business). As AltRight.com’s  Kate Bernard sees it,  the criticism of Pence in the press and online was an underhanded attack on white people. 

This example of solidarity between Whites called for a coordinated psychological assault on our sexual ethics. A powerful White man with a stable marriage is an indigestible quantity. Any union between Whites, including the private one between a man and a woman, is a possible threat to the neoliberal order.

I mean, who else but an evil hater of all things white could possibly Tweet something like this?

https://twitter.com/Vectorpark/status/847454910983454720

Or this?

https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/847827749444231172

(He calls his wife “mother,” you see.)

Or this?

Or even this?

Ok, that last one has nothing to do with Pence. It’s just a really funny video.

Anyway, Ms. Bernard is sick of your anti-white tomfoolery:

Beneath the apparent absurdity of the media reactions is a deadly serious hostility to the foundation of our resistance to our dispossession and historical erasure — the love of one’s own. Our decency frightens our enemies because of its metapolitical implications.

Yeah, I don’t think the issue here is “decency.” It’s that Pence and his fans seem to think that heterosexual men and women can’t get together to talk about the state of the Penguin Boiling Vat industry (or whatever it is they do for a living) without being overcome by carnal lust.

Is Pence truly too sexy for the dinner table? Millions of men and women regularly eat in public with representatives of the gender or genders they find sexually attractive and aren’t overcome by their uncontrollable passions. Because passions aren’t actually uncontrollable, for one thing.

But I have to give Ms. Benard some credit for her, er, lively prose. At one point, she attacks Stephen Colbert for making a joke about Pence, first describing him as “characteristically over-animated but dead-eyed behind his Communist glasses,” before declaring that his eyes were “wide with Botox and aggression.”

So were his eyes “dead” or were they “wide” and aggressive? Or can he switch back and forth at will? And what does Botox have to do with it?

Ms. Bernard offers no answers to these questions, but she is pretty sure WHY Colbert unleashed his dastardly jokes:

Transient commissars like Colbert attack the love stories of our people because marriage is the foundational White institution upon which all other White institutions are built.

Bernard proudly declares that proud whities like her are “beyond [the] reach” of people like Colbert trying “to corrupt,” then dials her purple prose up to 11 for an energetic if not always coherent finale:

The oaths we make to one another insures our impudence to survive and our mirth in the face of the abyss that the left insists is our destiny. We will continue to realize the promise of generativity hinted in the first simpers of courtship, and we will continue to envision a dawn of our own making. There is nothing more blithe for our morale, nor grave for our enemies, than the love between our people. Out of love for our people, we will strive and sacrifice. We will not rest until we have secured a future for white children. Love is indeed, reactionary.

The real question I am left with is why the hell do so many reactionaries write like this? I mean, Jeez, put away that thesaurus before you hurt someone.

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Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@CleverForAGirl

I never tire of Fingie pics. What an amazing cat!

Mind if I snatch this quote for Fingie’s upcoming DVD cover?

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

@IP: Fingie is a handsome boy! I just want to pet him on his bib all day — I bet it’s soooooo soft.

And I’ll scratch Demi on the ears.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

I just found something, err, interesting. All the usual warnings apply to the link because it’s the Daily Stormer.

Also the article isn’t that interesting in itself, save for this much-belated epiphany :

What is going on?

Are we losing control of this situation?

Why is Nimrata Randhawa threatening to invade Syria?

Has she been given permission to make this threat?

Emphasis mine. Also, that’s how they call Nikki Haley, the US embassador to the UN. *sigh*

Anybody got that Anita Sarkeesian popcorn gif on hand ?

CleverForAGirl
CleverForAGirl
3 years ago

@IP, lol all yours

ColeYote
ColeYote
3 years ago

Any union between Whites, including the private one between a man and a woman, is a possible threat to the neoliberal order.

20 hypothetical US$ says this guy thinks neoliberalism is the left-wing version of neoconservatism.

The real question I am left with is why the hell do so many reactionaries write like this?

Because they’re overdramatic and think it makes them look smart.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

@IP
Congrats on your test! Your kitties are so cute, you’re so lucky.

@Rhuu
That was very interesting and imformative, thank you.

AsAboveSoBelow, Male Gaze Harvester
AsAboveSoBelow, Male Gaze Harvester
3 years ago

Congratulations, IP!

Humbug
Humbug
3 years ago

First, your fixation on that one slip-up with my attribution of Bravely Default’s ownership, in a post with many multiple examples, while you continue to pretend to ignore my actual argument, shows that you are the petty one, nitpicking on trivial technicalities while bypassing the serious substance.

Second, if I am using Gamergate’s points , it is precisely because I am a heterosexual male hobbyist gamer , and enough of us share the same complaints (since we all play the same games after all which got censored because of your own movement) for us to form a common movement of our own.

Fake?! Feh, if someone like me is still fake considering all I’ve managed to spend in both time and cash over the years in this hobby, then I would dearly love to see a “true” fan, who must be one of those full-blown “chuunibyo” who marry game characters and post it online.

Then again, I can’t blame them at all. Human females, being the embodiment of fickleness, chaos made flesh, can be distractingly trying even at the best of times and maddeningly vexing. This is why human males have always had male-only no-females-allowed retreats like the boys clubhouse, gentlemens club, the dads den, etc.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

People are fixating on your slip up because if you’re going to try to gatekeep gaming and declare it to be a hobby that only straight men have and claim that only straight male opinions count, you better fucking back it up by knowing more about than everyone who isn’t a white male.

tim gueguen
3 years ago

No surprise, Humbug goes for the “Bitches be crazy!” trope. If I didn’t know better I’d guess he’s never actually met any men, since he thinks they’re more rational than women.

LindsayIrene
3 years ago

Yes, by Jove! The fairer sex are nought but a passel of flibberdigibbets and twitterpates who think of nothing but rouge and rolling their stockings! Now excuse me while I tie an onion to my belt and yell at a cloud.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I meant, straight not white at the end of my last post but I guess either works.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

The only coherent comment I have to contribute at the moment is “humbug plz.”

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

I second.

humbug plz.

Also, do you seriously have to wank over every other thread ?

@Paradoxy

Thanks ! I need to keep that somewhere.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

Also, rational dood :

chaos made flesh

Precisely ! So are men. And, y’know, life in general.

There. Fixed your essentialist point.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

First, your fixation on that one slip-up with my attribution of Bravely Default’s ownership–

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/clk.gif

You know, if you go away and go jerk off to your shitty volleyball games, no one would fixate on the multitude of wrongness you’ve left here. Just putting that out there.

Paradoxical Intention - Leader of the Deathclaw Damsels

Humbug | April 5, 2017 at 7:07 pm
First, your fixation on that one slip-up with my attribution of Bravely Default’s ownership, in a post with many multiple examples, while you continue to pretend to ignore my actual argument, shows that you are the petty one, nitpicking on trivial technicalities while bypassing the serious substance.

Actually, I addressed the rest of your *ahem* “serious substance” in that thread as well, but you just straight up ignored it.

However, if you come into a thread pretending to be a damn expert while assuming that everyone else is beneath you in terms of knowledge, and you make a huge mistake in something VERY simple (such as who published a game that you’re currently whinging about), especially in a thread format where you have ample time to Google such information before posting your drivel, then you’re damn right I’m going to mock you for it.

You acted like an arrogant ass, and you got mocked when you “slipped up”.

But, of course, you neglected to address me or anything else I posted for you and instead repeated your talking points ad nauseum. But I’m the one fixating, right?

Second, if I am using Gamergate’s points , it is precisely because I am a heterosexual male hobbyist gamer , and enough of us share the same complaints (since we all play the same games after all which got censored because of your own movement) for us to form a common movement of our own.

Oh, but I thought that GG was for “all” gamers? Wasn’t that the point of #NotYourShield? To prove that GG wasn’t all cishet white dudes?

So, which is it? Is GG a bastion of Cishet White Dude gaming, or is it a movement that is devoted to all gamers?

Fake?! Feh, if someone like me is still fake considering all I’ve managed to spend in both time and cash over the years in this hobby, then I would dearly love to see a “true” fan, who must be one of those full-blown “chuunibyo” who marry game characters and post it online.

Of course, you have no way of proving that, so we’ll just have to take your word for it.

Naturally, you missed the fact it was a joke.

Then again, I can’t blame them at all. Human females, being the embodiment of fickleness, chaos made flesh, can be distractingly trying even at the best of times and maddeningly vexing. This is why human males have always had male-only no-females-allowed retreats like the boys clubhouse, gentlemens club, the dads den, etc.

“Feeemales are so confusing! They keep saying they want to be treated like people! They keep saying they don’t want to be objectified and they want to be represented in a culture that they’ve been in since day one! They say that men can’t claim a whole culture as theirs! So confused! I need to retreat to my Manly Man Cave of Manliness (No Girls Allowed!)™ to hide from them instead of listening to other people’s experiences and trying to make this world better, because I’m scared of introspection and analyzing my own thoughts and experiences in relation to how I treat other people because it might make me feel like I haven’t always been The Good Guy I like to think I am!”

Tosca
Tosca
3 years ago

Chaos made flesh.

Chaos made flesh.

I AM CHAOS MADE FLESH!

BRB, changing my username.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
3 years ago

Humbug sez:

Fake?! Feh, if someone like me is still fake considering all I’ve managed to spend in both time and cash over the years in this hobby, then I would dearly love to see a “true” fan, who must be one of those full-blown “chuunibyo” who marry game characters and post it online.

Chuunibyou isn’t a term for stereotypical, pathetic fanboys who want to marry game characters. It means puberty-age kids who fancy that they’re “not like the other kids” and go out of their way to prove it. They’re anything from poseurs who adopt a subculture they’re not really into to make themselves seem interesting all the way to escapist confabulists who play at being some sort of “chosen one.” (The term also refers to a character type of the latter extreme that has recently been showing up in anime and novels.)

Things that are actually considered typical of chuunibyou types: playing Monster Hunter because “Pokemon is for kids!”, carrying a lighter even though they don’t smoke, being inordinately proud of having porno videos, drinking bad coffee, sulking, spouting poorly-informed political opinions, and so on. So the typical obnoxious, grandiose, up-one’s-own-ass behavior of teens figuring out who they are.

So like, aside from the whole being an actual teenager thing? You are a total chuunibyou.

varalys the dark
3 years ago

Paradoxical Intention, your troll pwnage skillz are legendary!

Ouroboros13
3 years ago

Then again, I can’t blame them at all. Human females, being the embodiment of fickleness, chaos made flesh, can be distractingly trying even at the best of times and maddeningly vexing. This is why human males have always had male-only no-females-allowed retreats like the boys clubhouse, gentlemens club, the dads den, etc.

FEEEEEEEMAAAAAALES ARE CHAAAAAOOOOS!!!!!!!

Humbug
Humbug
3 years ago

Well, naturally, the endearing ones are always female

guest
guest
3 years ago

‘carrying a lighter even though they don’t smoke’ 🙂 I do that. Lit a bonfire on my allotment last night.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
3 years ago

Guest says:

‘carrying a lighter even though they don’t smoke’ I do that.

“Buy sunglasses” is also on the list I linked. Which would seem normal enough, but sunglasses are associated with gangsters in Japan.

Robin Red
Robin Red
3 years ago

Well, naturally, the endearing ones are always female

I am so incensed by this incorrect comment that I’m coming out of my natural lurking position to point out that Owain/Odin from FE is pretty damn endearing. Even if he’s kind of awful in Fates… but everyone is kind of awful in Fates.

Also, mate, learn to quit while you’re ahead.

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

I know Humbug is banned now, but I just want to point to his “of course I’m a Gator, I’m a straight white male” bit and say that, as a straight white male, I have always thought GrimbleGrinch was one of the most absurd, counterintuitive, bass-ackwards ridiculous things I’ve ever seen on the internet.

While the fact that so many other SWBs got SO HET UP about girls being in games (yes I’m being intentionally reductionist, I have class in a few minutes and frankly I don’t give a single flying fuck about Gorbles) that it became a thing makes me incredibly disappointed, the simple fact remains that Groders were never and never will be the majority, no matter how loud they are.

Rhuu
Rhuu
3 years ago

Thanks humbug for completely ignoring that post i wrote, with info you probably don’t have!

Ah well, i really wrote it because it’s something i have to explain semi-frequently. And because it gave me an excuse to link to Stylus rumble, my friend’s series of videos for rigging in Harmony! Seriously, if anyone has any interest in animating in Harmony, check out at least the first few of her videos. She explains a lot of basic info that will help anyone using the program.

Also any knowledge of rigging will make animating your scenes easier. This is a true fact.

@PaganReader – Misandrist Spinster: You are as welcome as the flowers in spring. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

@A.Noyd: thank you for that info! I didn’t know any of that.

Nanny Ogg's Bosom (Formerly LostInLindsey)
Nanny Ogg's Bosom (Formerly LostInLindsey)
3 years ago

@ I.P.

Well done.

Also: Humbug clearly has never heard of Franz Liszt or Lord Byron if they think groupies are a result of … whatever crap it was they said … Liszt was driving women wild with his music and long flowing locks in the early to mid-19th century, and Byron had women sending him their pubic hairs in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries because of his poetry.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
3 years ago

Communist glasses?
Is that something I need?

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

If you’re going for the intense, scholarly look — like Trotsky here — Communist glasses couldn’t hurt.

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

comment image

If you’re going for the intense, scholarly look — like Trotsky here — Communist glasses couldn’t hurt.

Bina
3 years ago

This example of solidarity between Whites called for a coordinated psychological assault on our sexual ethics.

Dafuq does this even mean? It’s not as though whites or right-wing asswipes have any monopoly on monogamy, after all. But if right-wing white asswipes want to carry it to a ridiculous extreme, hey, they can go right ahead. The rest of us will just keep on pointin’ and laughin’ at how fuddy-duddy and ill-governed they are, and at how incapable they are of governing a country as a result.

A powerful White man with a stable marriage is an indigestible quantity.

Again, LOLwut? If his marriage is so stable, why is a little thing like eating in the presence of a woman not his wife somehow a threat to it? Is his zipper control really so very poor that he feels irresistibly compelled to bend his dinner partner over the table (and all the mucky half-eaten food)?

Any union between Whites, including the private one between a man and a woman, is a possible threat to the neoliberal order.

Oh, numbskull idiotess…I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there are shitloads of happily married progressive white people out here in this lawless land we call Reality. And they don’t have inane rules about no dining with anyone other than your spouse, either.

But I suppose the mere mention of that is a threat to the neo-Nazi order!

Beneath the apparent absurdity of the media reactions is a deadly serious hostility to the foundation of our resistance to our dispossession and historical erasure — the love of one’s own. Our decency frightens our enemies because of its metapolitical implications.

Since when does the alt-Reich do decency? Prudery doesn’t make a person decent. That would entail being able to eat with a person not your spouse, and somehow not end up being sprawled half-naked across a table of mucky half-eaten food with them, you see, and Mikey’s clearly not capable of that, according to his own religiofascist teachings.

And “the love of one’s own” is just a dog-whistle for racism. And white supremacy. I’ve been hearing this shit since the late ’80s and have never been fooled by it. It’s fucking OLD. Get some fresh bullshit already, if bullshit you must.

Transient commissars like Colbert attack the love stories of our people because marriage is the foundational White institution upon which all other White institutions are built.

Yeah, NO. Like said, it’s not something white people have a monopoly on. And there are plenty of institutions, white or otherwise, that are NOT built upon marriage. Democracy, for instance, doesn’t care if you’re white and married, or not.

The oaths we make to one another insures our impudence to survive and our mirth in the face of the abyss that the left insists is our destiny.

LOLwut, again? I’m of the left, and nowhere do I see anyone (at least, among my peers) saying that the abyss is anyone’s destiny. That would be you right-wing panic-button trampolinists, dear. You seem to think that everything would fall apart if white people didn’t get married, make lots of kids, and have ridiculous rules about who to eat with and who not.

And really, if that’s your attitude, then the “abyss” is nothing less than you deserve.

We will continue to realize the promise of generativity hinted in the first simpers of courtship, and we will continue to envision a dawn of our own making. There is nothing more blithe for our morale, nor grave for our enemies, than the love between our people. Out of love for our people, we will strive and sacrifice. We will not rest until we have secured a future for white children. Love is indeed, reactionary.

Yeah, well, if it comforts you, keep pretending that. Truth is, reactionaries know nothing of love. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be reactionaries!

And they wouldn’t need dumb, arbitarary rules about who not to eat dinner with, either.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
3 years ago

This example of solidarity between Whites called for a coordinated psychological assault on our sexual ethics. A powerful White man with a stable marriage is an indigestible quantity.

Buhwhuh?

The entire “assault” was based on the fact that Pence’s marriage is *not* stable, but is so precarious that any cup of coffee at Starbucks might just end the marriage entirely if a woman happens to be present.

“Stable”. Wow, if that’s Bernard’s vision of “stable” I’d hate to see an alt-Right marriage on the rocks!