In A Very Brady Sequel, the second film in the irony drenched 90s reboot of the Brady Bunch, Marcia Brady asks a guy she’s on a date with what kind of music he likes. He tells her he’s “really into hip hop.”
Like all of the Bradys, Marcia’s cultural references begin and end in the early 70s, so she has no idea what he’s talking about.
“Hip hop?” she replies, incredulous. “Sounds like something a rabbit listens to.”
Marcia Brady isn’t the only one confused by hip-hop. In a blog post yesterday, everybody’s favorite racist fantasy author, Theodore “Vox Day” Beale offers a strikingly similar, er, critique of rap music, which begins by taking issue with the name of the genre.
“The fact is that rap is not, technically speaking, music at all,” Beale announces.
To call it music is akin to describing “scatting” or “falsetto” or “rhythm” or “electric guitar” as music. It is, rather, a non-melodic vocal styling; it is an element of music, or if you prefer, a musical tool, rather than a form of music in itself.
And while that vocal styling can be utilized in a broad variety of music, from metal to ambient, it is not music in itself.
Yes, Mr. Excessively Literal Minded, rapping is, technically, a vocal technique. “Rap music” is one of the names that’s used for a particular genre of music in which rapping is the central element, not just a term used to describe a capella raps. Sometimes “rap music” is called “rap,” for short, but the people who call it that aren’t referring just to the rapping.
I mean, this is all completely fucking obvious to everyone in the world, including Beale himself, but he’s choosing to be deliberately obtuse here. Obviously, the names of music genres can’t always be taken literally. Latin music is not sung in Latin. Rock music is not music produced by rocks.
Beale continues to dig his little hole:
“[R]ap music” was never anything more than a proto-SJW seize-and-ruin operation and an exercise in branding.
Er, what? What’s a “seize-and-ruin operation?” What do SJWs have to do with anything?
That’s why it hasn’t gone anywhere. It can’t go anywhere because there is no actual vehicle to do so.
What does this even mean?
[A]s a musical form in itself, [rap] simply does not exist.
I’m not sure how exactly to rebut someone whose head is this far up his own ass. So instead let me present this Freestyle Rap-Off from Mr. Show, which also features a bald white dude who doesn’t really understand rap. Or does he???
Yes, yes, yes but irrelevant, yes many, I know, nobody cares.
Any more questions?
You haven’t listened to much rap music have you.
Well, I’ll say this for Humbug’s argument–it’s not wrong.
Because it’s complete nonsense. It’s so poor, wrongness is a thing it aspires to.
Fucking drums, how do they work?
Just wanted to point out that Tech N9ne (rapper) has stated he bases the tempo and flow of his lyrics on drums. Id est, he imagines a drum beat for the timing and adds in the words after. So, yeah, you can play rap music (and just the rappy bits I might add) with sheet music
Also southern rap is a thing. Heavily influenced by the ubiquity if marching bands below the Mason Dixon. And fuckin Outkast existed for fuck’s sake! And Bone Thugs! Learn about shit before you type, yo
I wonder how those guys feel about Sonita Alizadeh. See, she’s this awesome rap singer.
It’s not like rap just uses drums, either. I’ve heard plenty of rap songs that that violins or brass instruments in them. Not to mention when rap first started in the 70s in clubs and shit, they didn’t have soundboards or equipment that was able to record and playback things readily available. You have to have listened to so very little rap to not have heard any instruments.
Not that it matters if rap didn’t have instruments instruments. Midi Fighters and shit still require timing and rhythm to use just like any traditional instrument.
And prerecorded sounds still need to be put together and you need skill to make it sound good. That’s why you had Salt-n-Pepa doing the lyrics and DJ Spinderella doing the beats.
Hey, Humbug! If you’re going to ignore the fact that you were titally wrong about female orgasms, then answer this:
Do people dance to music or poetry?
Do people dance to rap?
I’ve never posted here before, although I’ve been reading for a long while, but I kind of have to now.
Hip hop has been the soundtrack to my life since I was 12 (I’m a 40 year old white woman btw, and some people don’t get why I like it, but I think what speaks to you speaks to you) and the idea that it’s “not music” is so weird it kind of makes me laugh. I have a few people who would like to say something to Vox Day.
MC Hammer would like to explain that your opinion does not, in fact, matter. Rap will keep happening with or without you. Also, you would lose a rap battle with him, he probably still makes more money than you, nobody cares what you think and you can’t dance like this s.
Neneh Cherry would like to explain some things about women
And Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne would like to have a few choice words as well (this one is probably not for you if you don’t like rude language or violent imagery. just saying)
Handsome Boy Modeling School uses lots of different instruments, including orchestral.
I don’t even have all that much knowledge about rap and I know lots of instances of rap having instruments.
I can see how racists would hate rap, but how is hating rap = being a racist? I hate it for many reasons, particularly it’s derogatory treatment of women — have always wondered why there wasn’t nearly as much feminist discourse about women and rap music, as opposed to other things. (anyone heard of Ugly God? Check out ‘Water’)
@Angela
Not being a fan of rap is not intrinsically racist; nobody likes all kinds of music. Claiming that rap is not actually music, as Vox did, is intrinsically racist.
There’s plentiful feminist discourse on the issue of misogyny in rap
Also, complaining about the misogyny in rap as though your favourite genre doesn’t have the same problem is kinda racist
This is my morbid curiosity talking, but in which thread did Peppermint Hard Candy* offer his insights into the female orgasm?
*A/k/a Humbug
@Robert
Back here
Dalillama – thank you.
Gosh, he does go on a bit.
Random music observation – a few years back, I was struggling with my desire to appreciate jazz. I liked *listening* to it, but I wasn’t sure if I was smart enough. My husband helpfully explained that most people do not perceive jazz as a loftily intellectual challenge that only the most erudite can properly appreciate.
There’s actually a considerable number of people who think that. Apparently because it’s quite musically complex. Which it is, of course, but that doesn’t mean you need to know the music theory behind it to appreciate listening to it. Or to play it, for that matter.