In a recent post on AltRight.com, Alt-Right lady Wolfie James addresses what is perhaps the most important question facing Western Civilization today, which is: How TOTALLY HOTTTTTT are Alt-Right dudes?
James contends that they are indeed THE HOTTEST EVAR.
The Alt-Right male believes he has a duty to perfect his physique and appearance in accordance with the inherent potential afforded him by European genetics. As such, he is more likely to lift heavy weights, run fast, eat well, wear properly fitting clothes, and fashily cut his hair in a nod to Germany’s golden age. There are no pajama boys in the Alt-Right, and the masculinity they exude is positively intoxicating.
Yes, that TOTALLY DESCRIBES pretty much every Alt-Right dude I’ve ever written about on this blog. As proof, here is actual video footage of several alt-rightists exuding their masculinities all over the streets of Cincinnati.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YkWvIkED0s
Remember, this is footage that these guys took of themselves and put online. Because they’ve got positively intoxicating masculinity out the wazoo!
In conclusion, HOTTTTTT.
But Alt-Right dudes aren’t just pretty boys. They are also FAMILY ORIENTED DADDOES who love nothing better than making the white babies with their HOTTT Nazi brides.
The perpetuation of the white race is of paramount importance to Alt-Right men, which means they all want to see MOAR WHITE BABIES. Yet unlike the r-selection men who treat their women like bitches in a puppy mill, they invest in each of those children to steel them for the struggles to come.
That’s why so many of these dudes are pickup artists devoted to pestering every sexy (white) lady they run across, because what better way to practice putting your sperm in a lady — possibly by just shoving your penis in her without a condom even if she says you can’t?
These guys are getting HOTTTTTER by the minute, amirite racist white ladies?
Also, these guys will totally MEME THE HELL out of people, because that’s the kind of heroes they are.
Veterans of the Great Meme War will tell you that uncucking our people, online and IRL, is a long, hard slog. Most men are not cut out for daily ideological warfare, trolling shitlib journalists, enduring constant online censorship, and dropping red-pills for friends and family. But thankfully our Alt-Right men are a committed bunch.
Aww yiss.
And if they can’t meme our country into an all-white homeland, well, they’re prepared to maybe just shoot some people.
[T]hey are training in small arms and personal protection (if they’re not already military veterans) because they know that our Cold Civil War is warming up, and they intend to be the victors. This is hot.
Nothing is HOTTTER than murder — except perhaps murder inspired by racism!
Also these dudes are SMART. Most of them
arrived to [sic] the Alt-Right through intense research and a personal quest for truth, meaning, and real identity. They know their favorite philosophers, can identify Hitler’s missteps in World War II, and often shock newcomers to the movement by how literate and well-educated — in the real sense of the term — they are.
Yep, the true test of intelligence is whether or not you understand “Hitler’s missteps in World War II.” You can bet none of these guys will invade Russia when they set out to kill all the Jews!
Oh, and did I mention that these guys totally respect the women? The racist white women, anyway. If by “respect women” you mean “consign women to be little more than white-baby-making machines.” Sorry, I meant to say “celebrate women for the most vital biological gift of all: the ability to birth and raise white children.”
And that’s HOTTTT.
These dudes also resist the Siren call of DEGENERACY.
They’ve quit the sorcery of the Jew Tube, ditched the noggery of professional sports, decried the foul beast that is pornography, and would ideally homeschool their many children so they don’t fall prey to the false teachings of diversity.
Sure it’s possible — though Wolfie doesn’t acknowledge it — that some of these dudes devote whatever free time they have left over after meming to masturbating to anime, but hey no one’s perfect huh?
They are also total REBELS, in that they cling hard to beliefs that the rest of the world realizes are utterly abhorrent.
White Nationalism is a concept so dangerous to the status quo that it can get a man fired, alienated from his family, and rejected by his friends. Yet the Alt-Right man perseveres … He fights for recognition of his identity, to secure the existence of his people and a future for white children. Rebels have always held irresistible allure, and Alt-Right men are no exception.
SO EDGY.
In truth, any woman would be extremely lucky to find herself cared for and appreciated by an Alt-Right man.
Well, maybe not so much the Jewish women, or the black women, or the not irredeemably racist women.
But the racist white ladies get it, huh?
Sure, he may spend inordinate time shitposting til the wee hours of the night, but it’s all for a good cause — saving the white race. Alt-Right men have a purpose and drive greater than themselves, and that’s both undeniably white, and irrefutably alpha.
What could be sexier than a hateful dude with “fashy hair” (or no hair) who spends all his time at his computer posting rare Pepes and sending harassing messages to Jewish journalists? NOTHING THAT’S WHAT.
@BoinkBoink, sorry!
@Ooglyboggles,
?I won’t post this crap again.?
Handsome Jack:
I think your first instinct on Wolfie is the correct one.
@PeeVee
…Seriously? Shitting on PBS Kids?
Literally my best friend in elementary school?
What the shit?
(In all seriousness, looking back on it, PBS Kids shows did have quite a bit of diversity amongst human casts. WordGirl’s titular protagonist was an alien that happened to look like a young woman of color [and her adoptive human family was what it appeared to be], Wild Kratts had an African-American woman and a Latina woman on the base [who, if memory serves, invented most of the Kratt Bros’ stuff…and generally weren’t the ones not watching their backs], and The Electric Company reboot did its damndest to keep up balance in both skin tone and gender [albeit in binary…ah well]. Plus, that last one? Lin-Manuel Miranda was on it. That might be a thing.
et cetera et cetera)
@Troubelle
And that theme song was bomb ass
@Axe
Don’t even need to press play to hear it. I concur.
@Troubelle,
The “Hate Score” was an especially nice touch. Teach those toddlers what’s up, huh? Eyeroll.
@Axe,
I’m old enough to remember the original Electric Company, which was my first exposure to the indominable Morgan Freeman.
I used to disgust my younger kid by saying how cute I though Josh Segarra was on the reboot. “MA-OOOOOOOM!! Ewww!”
The new Electric Company intro is pretty alright, but I can’t say it matches the original. I used to watch reruns of that when I was a baby. (Flashing colors warning.)
Oh, wow, I forgot that Rita Moreno was on the original!
I suppose they hate Reading Rainbow quite a bit
“You can bet none of these guys will invade Russia when they set out to kill all the Jews!”
Or at the very least, not get sidetracked in Yugoslavia and Greece first. Get to Moscow before the roads turn to mush.
@WWTH
Well now I have THAT theme song stuck in my head now.
Hi, actual ethnic German here! Are you by any chance referring to the 12-Year Reich, which began in bullshit and crapaganda galore, and ended in ignominy and drug-addled brains being blown out in a bunker by a sickly middle-aged guy whose ethnicity wasn’t all “European genetics”, whatever the hell THOSE are? Yeah, I see a lot of that “inherent potential” in Matt Fucking Forney’s super-intimidating duck-walk. I mean, if I saw THAT coming up a street at me in ill-fitting jeans, like he does in the “Alt-Right Dogs” trailer, I’d probably die laughing.
And he doesn’t even HAVE any hair, much less to cut in a fash-slash.
That’s the date-rape drugs you’re smelling, hon.
That’s funny, I seem to recall that an awful lot of these pseudo-Teuton heroes are divorced and/or childless, and kvetch bitterly about those “bitches” who “divorce rape” men for child support. When they’re not clutching their goolies in fear of a spermjacking, that is.
Committed to alternately alienating, bewildering and arousing amused pity in everyone who’s actually reality-based, while simultaneously repulsing any self-respecting woman or girl who has the misfortune to stand downwind of them! Truly, my hat is off to them and all their dank, dank memes. How DO they find the time to glug down all those Cheetos and Mountain Dew?
It is? Funny, but whenever I see a guy who’s into that shit, I get chills, and not the sexy “oooh, hold me, big boy” kind, either.
Yeah, they shock me, all right. Mostly by the sheer tenacity of their commitment to Hardcore Stupidity. And the sheer idiocy of their expecting me to actually be turned on by that much dumbth.
They would? But…they have nothing to teach them! These guys are allergic to facts in all their forms. What could they possibly teach anyone, other than how to be unidimensional and a total knuckle-dragger? Those poor kids are gonna grow up so uncultured and BORED!
And as for porn, I know damn well that they whack off to that “interracial cucking” shit. In fact, it’s where they get their whole “philosophy”, which is paranoid bullshit about black men all being out to “breed” all the white women and soil them so that guys like these will be permanently scared off by all the “ruined” vaginas. Any “alt-right” woman, if indeed there is such a creature, is a fool if she thinks these guys don’t use that stuff to work themselves into a froth of rage (among other things).
If by “status quo” you mean the livelihoods, lives and limbs of anyone who doesn’t meet the Nazi ideal of personhood, yeah, it’s dangerous all right. As for fired, alienated and rejected — these guys fucking DESERVE that.
Fourteen Words YAAAAAAWWWWWN.
Honestly, can’t these idiots think in anything that is not a cliché or a stock phrase?
If any of these guys actually cared for and appreciated a woman, he would by definition cease to be “alt-right”. Women are just breeding stock to these unsexy, dime-a-dozen himbos. Where’s the luck in THAT?
Nah. It’s wankery. And it gets old fast, especially if you’re married to it.
And indisputably boring, and indubitably, INFINITELY risible.
Look, lady — if indeed you ARE a woman, and not some Little Hitler in internet drag — THE 1930s ARE OVER. THE WORLD HAS MOVED ON. That shit stopped being fashionable in 1945, and it stopped for a reason. There’s just something about a man who’s determined to be on the wrong side of history all over again, and unfortunately for him, that something is practically a chick repellent. The few women who do fall for it generally have self-esteem so low that they can’t tell their arses from a hole in the ground. Little wonder that they can’t tell a crappy dollar-store fascist apart from Phoebus Apollo.
Here’s where “pajama boy” comes from:
http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2013/12/opinion-rich-lowry-obamacare-affordable-care-act-pajama-boy-an-insufferable-man-child-101304
Good god, it’s an adverb now. MAKE IT STOP.
All those nasty boys don’t mean a thing to me.
http://graceim.pl/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/03-warmup-nasty-hip-twist-NEW.gif
the seriousness with which this person treats goddamn MEME-MAKING and SHITPOSTING, as if it were literal life and death warfare, would be humorous if it weren’t so baffling.
real Poe’s Law stuff here.
I tell ya, if I had a dollar for every time the my bad haircut, love of photoshopped death camps and tendency to get sunburnt had gotten me laid, if have…
Let’s see… Carry the one… Adjust for hyperinflation…
I would have no money.
First time I heard the term “fanservice” was in the “next episode” previews for Neon Genesis Evangelion. Misato talks about what’s happening with Shinji et al in the next episode, and then ends with something like “and more fanservice!”. It struck me as odd that they’d come right out and say that!
It’s no coincidence that Twitter uses Matt Forney as the default avatar picture for new users. The dude is beautiful.
@ Imaginary Petal
Is there a word for something like a “Mary Sue”, but where the fictional heroine is a perfect(TM) woman who would TOTALLY be head over heels for the male author, were she real? Because I feel like that’s what I just read.
@Kootiepatra
Waifu?
Kootiepatra:
Forneycation?
Gone full Poe’s Law
Hello.
Das it no propaganda !
This is just a lovely pamphlet for the Church oh Altrightology.
The Source is a lovely little man, with a little moustache (not an italian plumber, though), and his book, written from a lovely jail, because censorship was already stricking Altrightology.
You begin as a lovely Operating Shitlord of Level 1, where you just know that you have to foster the lovely White Race for the Altrightology by trolling on Internet. At the lovely Level 3 of Operating Shitlord, you are opened to the lovely knowledge that Persons of Colors and Feminists you were shitposting till now are in fact pawns at (in ?) the hands of the Xenu Jews. As you lovely level up, you learn more lovely incredible true facts, like humans never went to the moon and so on.
Lovely Operating Shitlord, do not stop your lovely ludicrous fight on the lovely internet. Your lovely opinions may find the hearth of other lovely people among the dark rabble. You are a lovely elite ! Do i already tell you you are lovely lovable ? Do not forget to lovely support your lovely president, because what best for the lovely Church of Altrightology that a lovely legal façade ?
Have a lovely day, hu hu hu.
@Moggie
*gsnoooorgg* *giggle*