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David Futrelle: Inventor of communism and fascism, murderer of millions, unlucky at love?

FYI, watch out for gamma rays!

As a mildly internet-famous man, I get fan mail sometimes. Often in the form of drive-by blog comments that show up fairly regularly in the “pending” folder on my WordPress dashboard.

This morning I discovered a flattering little missive from someone calling himself RedPillGuard, who has many strong feelings about me, most of them loosely tied to my alleged status as a guy with a particular Greek letter attached to me.

David you are a gamma male, worse than an omega or beta. Not only do you have a female mindset, your kind embody the unflattering, backstabbing, evil, ruthless, greedy, cowardly, stubborn and manipulative qualities of women.

Not only do I have a “female mindset” but I’m also … like a woman?

Where they have Cleopatra you betas have Gamma Males like yourself.

I thought I was just a Gamma. Now I’m a Beta also? Greek is hard!

RedPillGuard follows up this expert distillation of my character by expressing the desire to see me raped in prison.

A lot of drive-by commenters would have left it at that. But RedPillGuard is just getting started. Turns out I’m responsible for several centuries worth of mass killings!

Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, Khrushchev, Mao, Lenin, Robespierre, Hitler, Trotsky, Hugo Chavez,. You are the scum of this planet, in the last century your kind murdered over 100 million people on the planet, you created communism and this mess of cultural marxism today.

You can’t get laid so you channel your energy to focus on other sad activities.

Like genocide, apparently.

Women scorn you because you mirror back a woman‘s most unflattering traits, and no woman even wants you to be her beta because she knows if you had her child you would likely sell them to slavery on the black market or take them to somewhere they have a high probability of dying in.

Wat.

Sad you will not succeed.

Huh? Dude, I apparently murdered 100 million people before I was even born. I’d call that a pretty big success!

In a followup comment, RedPillGuard asks:

Why don’t you meet Roosh V in real life and see who has more confidence instead of passive-aggressively making jabs at him gamma male coward?

This is a somewhat ironic statement to be coming from an anonymous internet commenter.

At this point you may be wondering: aside from all the genocide and hypothetical child-selling, what is it exactly that defines the Gamma Male?

RedPillGuard links to an old post from Theodore “Vox Day” Beale, the racist fantasy author and self-styled pickup guru who came up with the Gamma classification, based on extensive research centered around his own posterior. According to Beale, there are four key characteristics of this imaginary personality type that he made up.

  1. Overly romantic (dramatic self-narrative)
  2. Conflict-avoidance (passive-aggressivene and plausible deniability)
  3. Delusion (exaggeration and posturing)
  4. Lack of success with women

I guess I am a bit conflict-averse, if you don’t count my intermittent political activism and most of my writing career. So that’s one out of four.

And now I have the theme song to the old Hulk cartoon show in my head. So let me, in my passive-aggressive way, put it in yours!

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Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@Petal’s lawdad
http://i.imgur.com/T7C5xGw.gif
comment image

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

Any criticism of the status quo – which they have been enjoying and which puts them on top – must be a criticism of them as people. Conversely, they seem to believe that the fact that they HAVE been historically a privileged and powerful class of people, implies that they are somehow intrinsically good and have earned that position of power (because the fact that white men of the past have accomplished things somehow has a transient property that makes all white men ‘good’).

The only truly consistent ideology amongst the various flavors of conservative (including libertarian) is the just world fallacy. Everyone deserves what they get, and everyone gets what they deserve. The thing that unites non-conservatives is the understanding that this fallacy is, in fact, a fallacy.

EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

I dislike disagreeing with Policy of Madness on account of her many clevers, but I’m going to have to do so here: I feel that conservatives will generally hold to the Just World Fallacy as long as they’re on top. The moment someone else supersedes them, they stop believing it. I’ve never heard a Right-wing viewpoint* on wealthy Jewish people (for example) which concludes that they deserve that money, and the influence that comes with it.

I think it’s just selfishness. To a Right-wing person, if they have something then they earned it; if someone else has something then it’s unfair. If they’re violent then their victims deserved it; if someone else is violent then they’re a menace and must be stopped. And so on.

*Except in the case of Israel, where Jewishness is privileged and about which Right-wing anglophones get kinda weird.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

I’m not saying that’s the only right-wing ideology, but it’s the only one they all share.

I feel that conservatives will generally hold to the Just World Fallacy as long as they’re on top.

It’s not an accident that conservatives in white-supremacist countries trend white. Conservatives always experience some major axis of privilege, and that privilege doesn’t have to be SE privilege (which functions differently from other forms of privilege anyway).

I’ll also note that conservatism is a spectrum, not a binary. It’s possible to be conservative in some ways (such as religion) but not others (such as SE) depending on how one falls along the privilege axes.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

I made a new frand today ! Here’s a crappy phone pic of us literally five seconds after we met. Already bonding.

http://imgur.com/hpMV2vY

Apparently she has a thing for long hair and likes to sit on it.

@Dali

Gonna nitpick some more.

they’re suggesting capitalism with better social safety nets and comprehensive infrastructure.

Not even that, to be honest. They done fucked the safeties up worse than their opponents would’ve dared to try. The current administration is a hot mess of lefty-sounding buzzwords attached to policies that decimate everything the Left stands for.

Credit’s gotta go where it’s due, so minor props for marriage rights, but that’s about it. Minor props because even that they managed to fuck up, by letting the damn thing drag on forever and giving our religious right a royal opportunity to gain momentum with those “marches”, which were a fucking disgrace.

They abused some authoritarian lines in our constitution to pass their shameful “fixes” to workers rights without any possible opposition, and did so multiple times, but they couldn’t do it for marriage rights when it was actually necessary.

‘k, done ranting.

Daphne B
Daphne B
3 years ago

I look at the headline and all I can think of is that long ago thread where for some reason we all started typing “David Futrelle is…” and following up with many badass and/or illogical things, like “secretly seventeen kittens who rule the world” or “the walrus, coo-coo-ca-choo”. It’s hard to google for, so I’ve never been able to find it again, but I’m pretty sure “… Cleopatra and also Joseph Stalin” wasn’t on the list.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

@Sinkable: aw, the fuzzy.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

White stabbing suspect targeted black men, according to police:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/22/us/racially-motivated-stabbing-new-york/index.html

Anarchonist
3 years ago

Wow, so many people put things way better than I ever could.

A rant on the just world fallacy thing:

I find it interesting that conservatives, on some level, generally seem to believe in at least some form of universal force of justice, be it divine, natural, traditional, or something else in nature. All conservative ideas, be they based on white supremacy, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, classism, ableism etc. are all inherently defined by the idea that there is a “natural” order of things in the universe, some kind of “right” way things should work. If they personally are on top, all is as it should be. If they personally are not on top, it’s because of human (or rather sub-human, as they often believe) meddling*.

They’re looking at the world where they are getting the short end of the stick (in their mind) and thinking: “This is not how things are supposed to work.” But, unlike progressives, they don’t see it as a sign of a fault in the underlying system, in the very the system of hierarchy and privilege they enjoy, but in the way it is set up: Wrong people have more power than they should have, I should be the one with more power. More importantly, because they’re seeing the power dynamics of the system as pure, just and natural, the people who are actually lower on the ladder of hierarchy are the ones who are disrupting things and meddling with the system, because believing that makes targeting them seem justified, and targeting those worse off is easier and more sadistically rewarding than examining the power structures that we all are part of.

I’m going to be blunt here: Conservatism, in its essence, is never far from fascism, and fascism doesn’t work on logic or a desire to look at the world objectively: all “arguments” it presents are just an excuse, a justification for what the fascists intend to do next. Conservatism is not that interested in “how things are and how they should be”, but in “how things can best benefit me”. Their belief that “the Left” wants to rule them is pure projection, fear that others would truly do unto them as they do unto others.

That’s what fascist use to justify their rise to power: things are bad because of lesser beings meddling with the system that would otherwise work to my benefit. We must use explicit brute force to correct things. That’s what small-government libertarians and anarcho-capitalists (fucking lol) use to justify their brand of oligarchism: things are bad because lesser people are allowed to mooch off the system. We must cease all welfare programs and contributions to the needy in order for the system to work to my benefit.

This is supported by the fact that every time they get their wish but things don’t go their way anyway (because duh), rather than reconsider their view of the world, they claim that we’re not being tough enough on the scapegoats yet, that somehow they’re still playing the system. Even more drastic measures are needed. Or, plot twist, the person who used my misplaced anger to get on top is a traitor and secretly in league with the disenfranchised groups that I hate! So, again, it’s all about who is on top, never about whether the system, the very worldview they believe in, is broken in the first place.

Conservative thinking requires that the adherent must have someone else to feel superior to. Even if it’s masked as ‘encouragement’ and ‘refusal to coddle’ when they mock and guilt their target, even if it’s masked as ‘their right’ and ‘tough love’ when they abuse and exploit their target, even when it’s not masked at all (as is the case with open racists, xenophobes and misogynists), there must be an element of superiority to their interaction with those less privileged than them. Even if they’re at the second-lowest step of the social hierarchy ladder, they can always take sadistic glee in knowing that at least they’re not like those filthy lowest step people.

Privilege is power, and power destroys empathy for the ones over whom you have it.

*IDK, I’ve grown pretty hypersensitive to all signs of this line of thinking, which is why I view the old “ideas are good, people just tend to screw them up” mindset as super skeevy. It ignores the fact that the ‘good ideas’ were made up by people and didn’t just spring up from god or nature or whatever, it’s based on elevating ideas above human lives, and it’s defeatist at its best: it implies that humans are incapable of fixing the problems that were caused by humans in the first place, allowing those who exploit others to keep exploiting them, “nothing we can do.”

@Daphne B

I remember Make Up Shit About Futrelle Day! Not because I was yet here when it happened, but because I once randomly found a thread and read through it with great amusement. There were so many good ones. If memory serves:

David Futrelle doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks the fermented blood of the wild boars he hunts with his bear hands. That’s not a typo; David Futrelle’s hands are bears.

David Futrelle shot the deputy, AND the sheriff.

When no one was looking, David Futrelle took forty cakes. He took 40 cakes. That’s as many as four tens. And that’s terrible.

No, that Lex Luthor cake stealing meme will never not be funny. No, you shut up.

Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
3 years ago

@IP

Having a father just like that, my husband just offered all his sympathies to you.

And that nephew needs to be taken over someone’s knee and spanked, 29 years old or no.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
3 years ago

Schnookums Von Fancypants says:

I think the reluctance to use Omega as an insult is that it sounds kinda badass. It sounds less like the “Least” and more like the “Ultimate”.

Exactly! Ever notice how much misogynists’ silly, reductionist ranking systems sound like something out of the latest teen dystopian novel? Naturally, they’re reserving the “coolest” rank for themselves and their self-insert hero fantasies.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

Seconding A. Noyd re: Schnookums’s comment about Alpha/Omega.

….Is it too late to make an Undertale reference?

Ben
Ben
3 years ago

I too have felt the ‘wrath’ of the misogynists – they are creatures of contradiction and I really can’t understand where their arguments come from.

bluecat
bluecat
3 years ago

Indeed, Omega sounds like it means “the ultimate” – indeed it does in some contexts (eg Christianity: God is referred to as the alpha and omega).

So there you have it, David – you are the ultimate.

And ALSO seventeen secret kittens and your hands are bears.

Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
3 years ago

@Daphne B, I thought my google-fu was up to the task, but I could not find the fantastic “make shit up about David Futrelle day” thread. The earliest reference I found to it was Feb 2012. We’ve been hanging out here a while, huh?

Heirloom Roses
Heirloom Roses
3 years ago

Remember David, gamma radiation is the most dangerous radiation. That is why being a gamma is worse than a beta. You are obviously more annoying to the Redpillguard than other betas would be.
Also, even Hitler had a girlfriend. So I’m not sure what this individual means when he says no woman wants you if you are a mass murder.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@Laughter at Bigots:

So, I’m sure I’ve not read their actual description of what a supposedly Nu male is… but I feel like a NU MAN for having ignored them as much as possible. That and the point that, having taken the supposed Male Red Pill, they’ve admitted they don’t get as much sex as they think they should makes me laugh.

Being in the IT department of a small corporation at one point… “I took BOTH pills.” but that’s just referring to The Matrix, not the poorly logic-ed MRA version.