Hungry Molochs and urban elves: A visit with Return of Kings worst (best?) writer

I will say one thing about Return of Kings writer André du Pôle: He doesn’t let his lack of understanding of what words mean get in the way of telling us how he really feels.

In a post titled “6 Leftist Concepts That Pretend To Be Positive But Are Not,” du Pôle attempts to show that many ideas popular on the left — like equality, social justice, and progress, to name just three — are actually super evil and bad. The post is a barely coherent rant full of weird non-sequiturs, so it’s hardly worth arguing with.

Instead, let me present you with the 4 Most Gloriously Incoherent Statements From “6 Leftist Concepts That Pretend To Be Positive But Are Not.”

Let’s start with perhaps the best sentence ever to appear in Return of Kings:

Citizenship today is a mean [sic] to virtue-signal when you are an urban elf.

At no point does he explain what an urban elf is or what elves, urban or rural, have to do with citizenship. Urban Dictionary has a definition for Urban Elf that is less than helpful.

Let’s move on:

In this sense, “social justice” is deeply divisive, defamatory, aggressive, and amounts to a Moloch that eats families, nationhood, and most men.

Run! It’s a family, nationhood, and most men-eating Moloch!

In case you’re wondering if this makes more sense in context, not really! The preceding sentences don’t provide a “sense” in which social justice is a hungry, hungry Moloch.

Du Pôle follows this with his own definition of “justice,” which as far as I can tell is some sort of white-male supremacist thing he’s cooked up in his brain.

Methinks true justice should acknowledge the fact that we are the sons of the Western civilizations, its human substance and legitimate heirs, and that we have a prime right over it. We should have jobs, freedom of speech, protection over violent crowds, a right to fair judgment instead of getting screwed over by HR, “minority” impunity and pussy pass, a right to chances to thick relationships with at least some women instead of clowning our ways through hypergamy…

In case you’re wondering, that bit at the end isn’t an ellipsis. It’s a period so nice he typed it thrice.

Some manipulated the proclivity to empathy to pretend they were “oppressed” and thus entitled to sympathy when they were actually hateful, anti-middle-class Marxist or deviant family-hating lesbians.

I think he means “some leftists” here, though earlier in the paragraph the subject is not leftists but “libertines.”

It’s also charming how he expresses his bigotry towards lesbians in a sentence that explicitly denies that lesbians have any discrimination to worry about.

Is it possible I’m being a little unfair to Mr. du Pôle? I mean, he’s got a French-sounding name, and it seems pretty clear that English is not his first language — though that wouldn’t explain why his editor at Return of Kings, who presumably does know English, didn’t bother to actually edit du Pôle’s words into something that more closely resembles normal English.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m literally the only person who reads Return of Kings posts all the way through.