I will say one thing about Return of Kings writer André du Pôle: He doesn’t let his lack of understanding of what words mean get in the way of telling us how he really feels.
In a post titled “6 Leftist Concepts That Pretend To Be Positive But Are Not,” du Pôle attempts to show that many ideas popular on the left — like equality, social justice, and progress, to name just three — are actually super evil and bad. The post is a barely coherent rant full of weird non-sequiturs, so it’s hardly worth arguing with.
Instead, let me present you with the 4 Most Gloriously Incoherent Statements From “6 Leftist Concepts That Pretend To Be Positive But Are Not.”
Let’s start with perhaps the best sentence ever to appear in Return of Kings:
Citizenship today is a mean [sic] to virtue-signal when you are an urban elf.
At no point does he explain what an urban elf is or what elves, urban or rural, have to do with citizenship. Urban Dictionary has a definition for Urban Elf that is less than helpful.
Let’s move on:
In this sense, “social justice” is deeply divisive, defamatory, aggressive, and amounts to a Moloch that eats families, nationhood, and most men.
Run! It’s a family, nationhood, and most men-eating Moloch!
In case you’re wondering if this makes more sense in context, not really! The preceding sentences don’t provide a “sense” in which social justice is a hungry, hungry Moloch.
Du Pôle follows this with his own definition of “justice,” which as far as I can tell is some sort of white-male supremacist thing he’s cooked up in his brain.
Methinks true justice should acknowledge the fact that we are the sons of the Western civilizations, its human substance and legitimate heirs, and that we have a prime right over it. We should have jobs, freedom of speech, protection over violent crowds, a right to fair judgment instead of getting screwed over by HR, “minority” impunity and pussy pass, a right to chances to thick relationships with at least some women instead of clowning our ways through hypergamy…
In case you’re wondering, that bit at the end isn’t an ellipsis. It’s a period so nice he typed it thrice.
Some manipulated the proclivity to empathy to pretend they were “oppressed” and thus entitled to sympathy when they were actually hateful, anti-middle-class Marxist or deviant family-hating lesbians.
I think he means “some leftists” here, though earlier in the paragraph the subject is not leftists but “libertines.”
It’s also charming how he expresses his bigotry towards lesbians in a sentence that explicitly denies that lesbians have any discrimination to worry about.
Is it possible I’m being a little unfair to Mr. du Pôle? I mean, he’s got a French-sounding name, and it seems pretty clear that English is not his first language — though that wouldn’t explain why his editor at Return of Kings, who presumably does know English, didn’t bother to actually edit du Pôle’s words into something that more closely resembles normal English.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m literally the only person who reads Return of Kings posts all the way through.
@ malitia
I’m very grateful to you and our bat-cow loving friend for introducing me to the various animal supes. Animal Avengers being a particular favourite. Although now I like it they’ll probably cancel it so I’ll shut up.
@Alan
The Pet Avengers currently don’t have a series (their last mini was in 2011) so there s nothing to cancel. On the other hand WHY DON’T THEY HAVE A SERIES?!
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/7/79/Pet_Avengers_%28Earth-616%29_08.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130402054158
@Malitia:
I knew there had to be an “actually” in there…eventually.
(Asgardian menzers. Sheesh.)
See, this is the sort of critical research failure that diminishes any sort of credibility these MRAs have.
Everyone who’s read the rulebooks KNOWS that urban elves don’t qualify for the Moloch prestige class. Seriously, keep your house-rule bullshit to yourself, thankyouverymuch.
@Bina
That was Loki. “Actually” is probably his middle name. ^^; (Well, and secondary godly epithet “god of unintended consequences”)
“Urban elf” is easy if you think about the culture surrounding the essay: It’s a culture with a hundred words for “an insufficiently masculine man”, a thousand words for “a woman I don’t like” and zero words for “introspection”.
“Elf” means “an insufficiently masculine man”, and the “urban” modifier means “possibly a homosexual”.
The Moloch bit has me baffled, though. Moloch doesn’t eat most or even some men! He eats children and innocents! That’s his defining characteristic! Maybe the author is thinking of Ba’al?
Yeah, I’m more of an urban hobbit myself. We don’t tend to go on so many rambles through the countryside like our rural cousins, tho.
OOOH, if that is what it means, I bet they got that from Dragon Age Origins.
The City Elves in Dragon Age are inspired by Jewish people, living the their own ghetto (alienage) in the middle of the city where they’ve developed a sort of slang derived from their original Dalish dialect (city elves call humans “shem” which came from Dalish “shemlen” for instance) which is kinda like Yiddish but not really because it isn’t its own language but they made it no secret that City Elves were inspired by Jewish people. They outright say it.
And if any of you peeps played through Dragon Age you’d know how weird that is considering what the hell happens.
Edit: Well now that I’ve clicked the link probably not but my comment still stands as a possibility.
I realize this is flung around so freely that we’ve become enured to it, but I’d like to put a pin in the word “Marxist” for a second.
This is typically the first sign that you’re dealing with a right-wing shitposter (with “SJW” or “cuck” not being far behind). But what exactly is going through these guys’ heads when they deploy this word? Do they really think that those of us interested in ameliorating social imbalances sit around reading the works of Karl Marx or Friedrich Engels all day? Is there some opinion of ours that gets this reaction? Or has it just become the conspiracy theory de jour which doesn’t sound as ludicrous as “lizard people”?
Remember when Glenn Beck was accusing everybody of being a Saul Alinsky operator? Same thing. And it was pure projection because he actually admitted to being a devotee of Cleon Skousen, a conspiracy theorist and Bircher. Personally, I think we need to push back on this one a bit more.
Bit of a rural dragon myself.
… cuz I sit on my hoard all day and no one ever visits except burglars.
Ehh, still better than urban or rural trolls.
@Weird Eddie
See people: this is how you react when I enter the room.
(Sorry, couldn’t resist)
@ malitia
Knowing my luck they’ll probably bring it back just to cancel it (the first comic I loved, Action, was banned so it’s the story of my life). But why are they giving money to Christian Bale when this could be a movie?
I think if you’re reading RoK posts, you’re doing it wrong. Reading implies you’re looking at the screen instead of down, with a microsope, trying to locate the thing your primary hand is attempting to grasp.
@Alan: Rebellion (current publishers of 2000AD) picked up the Action archive last year, it’s possible they might produce new material as well as reprints – Al Ewing said at their 40th Anniversary convention that he’d like to write Kids Rule OK : http://www.2000adonline.com/post/727
And Titan Comics are publishing an updated Hookjaw just now, although I’ve heard mixed reviews of that.
@Chaos-Engineer:
That’s what I figured he must have meant, and was just too wussy to say the f-word. Ironies abound with these effete fools.
As for me, I’m an outskirts-of-small-town witch. Quite literally, too, as my house is the last on its street.
@ bringthenoise
Oh my word. That would be amazing. Heh, wonder if they’ll pay homage to that particular cover? I do have a bit of a soft spot for Hookjaw. I remember when I was a kid seeing a Hookjaw iron-on t-shirt transfer (remember those?) and being bewildered that you could buy something from a comic. It just seemed so unreal. That’s why I don’t blame Fox for giving away the Star Wars merchandising rights. Who would have thought there was a market for such a thing back then?
I’m quite excited about the possibility of a Misty revival too. I’m working on something to pester Pat Mills with in that regard. I honestly believe Misty was borderline as good as 2000AD at times. In a way it was even darker because it played on real issues that affected kids.
To keep relevant to this blog it’s perhaps ironic that Misty and Jinty, the two most subversive girls comics ever (“No ballet dancers; no ponies!”) were eventually tamed and sublimated into a single comic that was literally called ‘Girl’.
@Gussie Jives
The problem is that Marxist/Marxism doesn’t actually mean anything when the term is deployed by rightwingers and manosphereans. They conflate Marxism with stuff like political correctness and feminism, which voids the term of meaning. It’s hard to push back against an insult that is just noises with no meaning behind them.
@IgnoreSandra
If the “thing” is meant to be a penis, that’s not an okay thing to say. It’s shaming and anti-trans and generally implies a lot of splash damage.
Here may be the explanation of an urban elf:
http://www.jack-donovan.com/axis/2014/08/death-to-urban-elves-2/
I think I can probably find one on lizard people, as well.
“Urban elf” makes me think of Discworld elves running around Ankh-Morpork. Probably running because they’re being chased by Lady Sybil wielding one of her ancestral broadswords after they tried to meddle with her swamp dragon breeding program.
@Victorious Parasol
‘Running away’ is the second preferred default state of any elf according to the majority of the Discworld population, with ‘dead’ being the first. For good reason.
Though I suspect that Ankh-Morpork and/ or Lady Sybil would happen to them first anyways.
So you want to be the patron saint of violent crowds? That position is open. But I suggest you refresh your memory on the job qualifications of a saint.
Huh. How does an MRA virtue-signal? If I had to guess, I’d say it’s by screaming at women online and calling them cunts. That always gets the approval of the other woman haters.
Not like the MRM philosophy, which aims to give everyone what they need–right?
@Banananana dakry
I’m now picturing the elves in the Shades.
Reading WHTM article: I’ll prove David wrong and read this RoK claptrap all the way through!
At point 2 in the RoK article: I have become a victim of my own hubris
(seriously. That thing is unreadable. I honestly don’t know how you manage it)
[CW : abuse, including sexual abuse]
The alt-reich is still obsessing over “Pizzagate”, but meanwhile, teenagers are sent to horrific “youth restoration” facilities.
I just fucking can’t. America, what the fuck. Why is that allowed to happen.
I remember something similar from like 4 years ago but it seems it’s gone even worse since.
Full article here.
I’ve noticed that a lot of the people claiming to be defenders of Western civilization tend to reject a lot of the things that make Western culture special: the equality of the individual, the presumption of innocence, democratic norms, secular pluralism, etc.
I think the Western civilization they want to restore is probably ancient Sparta – which was probably best summed up as “like North Korea. only less quaint.”