Categories
macho macho men masculinity

What the hell kind of sexual facts is Dr. Lawton teaching these men anyway?

I hate the f*ckin eagles, man

So I’m kind of obsessed with the images of burly men in peril that you find on the covers of vintage men’s magazines. One of the things that makes these old covers so charming, aside from the completely ridiculous animal attacks depicted on them, is that the cover art doesn’t always match the headlines that appear on top of it.

And so you get things like the above, clipped from an old Stag magazine cover. You can see the entire cover here; once there, right-click and pick “open link” for the high-res version.

40 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

My absolute favorite pulp magazine cover is the cover of Man’s Life, where the guy is in water getting attcked by weasels.

The man always reminds me of David Bowie.

Honestly, I could look at cover illustrations of pulp mags for hours. Old sci-fi covers, too.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

Apparently Glenn Frey was seriously pissed that The Dude didn’t like the Eagles.

Tonight I’m catching up with a couple of my old music biz buddies. A thing just came up on the news about how some chap has 9 of the top 10 chart positions. We just looked blankly at each other.

“That’s it; we’re now officially out of touch”

But what made me smile is he’s just stuck on The Eagles.

ETA: oh, now it’s Grateful Dead. Hey, even I’m not that past it.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
7 years ago

Christina Nordlander – thanks for the link! I had not seen that, and have shared it on FB. I especially liked the reference to ‘gay death metal band’.

PeeVee – from what I’ve read, that was one of the covers commissioned without an accompanying story. Then the editor showed it to the writer and said, “Write a story in which this situation could occur.” There were also versions with bats and crabs (separately; being attacked by both at once would be implausible). Frank Zappa used the title for one of his albums.

Shalimar
Shalimar
7 years ago

Sexual Fact for Men #1) There is no safe way to have sex with an eagle.

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

@Moggie, @Gussie Jives
You both make good points.

I finally got a chance to view the documentary on trolls. They seem very unhappy and angry — and very proud of their words. I’m sure they think they’re too real for the rest of us.

I worry about the wife of the first guy. He seemed even angrier than the rest.

And I found the reactions of the people in these trolls’ lives interesting. They just put on a blank face, maybe disagree mildly with the troll, and attempt to get on with their lives.

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

TW: Simulation of sexual violence

Wall Street guy shits (figuratively, thank Katie) all over the statue of a girl who may (or may not — YMMV) represent female empowerment.

Is he high on coke? High on stealing his clients’ hard-earned money? Dunno.

Whoever he is, I hope that both his mommy and his crush object see this photo.

My petition to Katie: May tragic hilarity ensue for him.

Dead-Eyed Bro Humps Wall Street’s ‘Fearless Girl’ Statue

http://jezebel.com/dead-eyed-bro-humps-wall-streets-fearless-girl-statue-1793187744

TW: Simulation of sexual violence

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

Another TW — But This Story Ends a Lot Better Than It Started Out

This one made me cry.

My new mantra: “Not today, motherfucker!”

Seattle Woman Uses Tactics She Learned from Self-Defense Class to Escape Brutal Sexual Assault

http://people.com/crime/seattle-woman-self-defense-escape-sexual-assault/

Another TW — But This Story Ends a Lot Better Than It Started Out

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

@Robert Walker-Smith, that’s right!

I had forgotten about that.

@Kat,

I always appreciate the links you provide. Thank you.

Re: Fearless Girl: I knew it would not be long before some asshole did that.

Re: Jogger: Ha! Good. Fuck him.

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

@PeeVee

Re: Fearless Girl: I knew it would not be long before some asshole did that.

I feel unbelievably naive for not predicting that.

Or maybe it’s because I live in San Francisco, where the SJW vibe is strong.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Kat,

I feel unbelievably naive for not predicting that.

Don’t feel bad…I’m kinda embarrassed that I did think of that; I don’t ever want to become too jaded, yanno?

I’d love to live in a welcoming community such as SF.

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

@PeeVee
I just happen to be incredibly lucky to live here. What with all the Silicon Valley techies wanting to live in SF — and now that Google bus is a thing — rents have gotten astronomically high. I live in a rent-controlled apartment with my boyfriend, who has lived in the place since before the neighborhood was gentrified.

People are fleeing the city of SF for its humdrum suburbs, where at least they can afford the rent.

But yeah, SF is still a tolerant, diverse, dog-loving city that cherishes its old houses.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

@Kat, that’s one thing I have heard about SF: that the rents are astronomical. But those old Victorian houses…*salivating*

Now, I’m going to return your gracious link-sharing with one of my own:

Really, REALLY good article by Parker Malloy and Adam Mordecai about women and online comment abuse.

Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.

http://www.upworthy.com/men-try-to-read-the-most-disturbing-comments-women-get-online-back-to-them

(H/T to my bestie LC)

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

Phew! Thanks, PeeVee. Those were terrible comments, but it’s good to see that nontrolls are deeply disturbed by having to say trolls’ words.

annalemma
annalemma
7 years ago

Dear Penthouse

I never thought this would happen to me, but here’s my story. I was out one day hiking on my favorite trail when I saw her. She was out of this world, gorgeous yet feminine like a true female should be, not like those SJW feminazis. One glance at at her strong eyes and I knew this was the female for me.

I moved closer and closer. I would make her mine just like the online classes taught me. She would be mine and only mine. I slowly unzipped my pants and my huge, engorged manhood sprung its mighty self free. I would have her. Screw the kid.

Holding my mighty spear of manhood and a large meat hook, just in case she thought of resisting. I imaged the hard thrusts I would give her, show her who’s boss. She would welcome the most incredible sexual experience of her life.

Suddenly she saw me. Instead of the welcoming glance, she screamed in anger and flew at me. Then there was an incredible pain, and I saw her flying off with my manhood, writhing in her grasp. Penthouse, what do I do now? How can I get other female now, without a penis?

Sincerely Yours,
Former Penis Holder

eli
eli
7 years ago

I know this isn’t the most recent thread and it’s not exactly the same thing, but I saw this tonight and wanted to share with David and other people who like vintage stuff.

http://www.sainthoax.com/make-america-misogynistic-again/

I removed the original headlines from these misogynistic advertisements and replaced them with quotes that Donald Trump said about women.