Pickup artist blows the lid off of Valentine’s day with really, really long sentence

You need to work on your circular breathing. Also swimming I gather is good for improving your lung capacity.

Prouder than ever to be a studio-apartment cat-lady slut if it gets these guys so enraged.

full aching balls

He may want to see a doctor about that.

I took advantage of the comma between “convenient” and “plausibly”. Does that constitute cheating?

What is timetable disorientation

I’m guessing that’s what used to be called (and still is in most places) biological clock, wherein a “girl” gets to be all hot and bothered if she reaches the age of 23 or so without having managed to reproduce. Because women are, by nature, baby machines, and these women are violating nature by not having babies, so it will come in an torture them. Serves them right for being unwilling to date (and bang) those PUAs that have been sniffing and panting around them.

If she’s such a slut, why is he trudging home with full balls?

Because “slut” means “has sex with someone other than me.”

I have so many thoughts about this article

The most important one is how gosh darn adorable those 1950’s chibi postcards can be. Just cute!

Then, like, really? Valentines’ Day was never about the celebration of pure, innocent love. I mean, sure, when you were in kindergarten and stuff, but the actual holiday is a crass commercial ploy to force people to go to restaurants and movies. It’s a ridiculous guilt trip from Corporate America to you.

Then, I mean, what Iseult said, really. The inconsistency is breathtaking. So, the white knight spengler beta mangina cuck (I can never keep up with their terms) is showering sluts with sexless attention, and then sad because he isn’t getting any sex? Uh, duh, dude, if you aren’t giving signals that you want sex, maybe that’s the reason you aren’t getting sex? I mean, heaven forfend that the Trampy McFucksalot might consider a night of “sexless attention” an indication that someone is actually, I dunno, interested in being her friend?

I realize that friendship is an alien concept to you, Mr. Heartiste, but I can tell you on good authority that when two people – regardless of relative genders and sexual orientations – spend an evening chatting with one another, there’s a good chance that they may both consider it a positive experience! ‘Cause – guess what – not every fuckin’ dude is interested in nothing but sex! ‘Cause women are human beings that are worthy of friendship! You goose-stepping howler monkey!

Whew! That was fun. Man, what a clown.

@PoM: I think “timetable disorientation” is what this howling hunk of manhood is warning about (CW: post contains “harmony with biological and psychological realities” and also praise of Camille Paglia):

Do you hear that soft, slow ticking sound? That’s your biological clock. You’ve probably tried to muffle it with wine and Xanax, fluoxetine, cat fur, and Buzzfeed articles, but everyone else can hear it too, and it’s getting louder…

@Morgaine:
1) Because they’re that sad that everyone else has had more sex than them.
2) Nothing.
3) Plenty, but they escape getting called that because #notallmen.

Let’s get something out of the way: I, as an individual, think that Valentine’s Day is nice. However, I also think that it’s an over-hyped, over commercialized holiday that serves an excuse to do something that you should be doing year-round anyways, which is celebrating the person you love and doing nice things for them.

I fully support the holiday that is February 15th though, which is known as Half-Priced Chocolate Day. Happy Half-Priced Chocolate day, everyone!

Now that that’s been said, let’s get to business:

So V Day has morphed into a convenient, plausibly deniable excuse for these future cat ladies to crassly advertise themselves in the hope they’ll get banged out by cads

TIL that asking to meet a dude for coffee and a chat (her words) is apparently “crassly advertising [yourself] in the hope [you’ll] get banged out by cads”.

It never ceases to amaze me how people like Weidmann will attempt to make money off of a woman’s “sluttiness” and willingness to fuck, and in the same breath deride her and demean her for it.

And then turn around and insist that all those men she’s fucking are the “bad” men. Obviously. They’re the Nice Guys™, don’t’cha know?

Not only that, but they’ll fully project sluttiness onto a woman solely to be an asshole about her. Where did that woman say she was DTF? She said she just wanted coffee and a chat.

Ah, but I forget: Everything a woman does is for sex or (men’s) money, and that’s bad.

So, Weidmann, which is it? Is sluttiness bad because reasons, or is it good because that way your suckers customers get laid?

or showered with sexless sympathy feelz by gullible white knight betas

“Gullible” apparently means that “Lol, that feeemale didn’t want to sex you, you fell for her stupid trap like a stupid beta!”

Nevermind that she explicitly stated in her ad that she just wanted coffee and a chat. Nowhere in her ad did she say she wanted sex.

But, of course, Wiedmann being a PUA, he seems to think that all women want sex. And that’s bad because that makes women slutty-slut-sluts. But good because he can then blame that for anything bad he does to them. But bad because women shouldn’t be slutty-slut-sluts. But good because he can make money off of it. But bad because women shouldn’t want to have sex.

all too willing to drop a bennie on expensive cocktails

She said she wanted coffee.

so that they can trudge homeward with full aching balls

If the pain’s that bad, perhaps you should see a doctor. Or just masturbate. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating.

I don’t see why we need to blame a woman or make a woman feel guilty that a man didn’t get to orgasm. If she didn’t want to fuck him, then that’s something he needs to deal with on his own time.

after doing their last ditch V-date duty and cheering up a studio apartment slut who’s experiencing a bout of regret and timetable disorientation in between cock hops.

TIL: Having a studio apartment makes you a slut.

But, then again, Weidmann thinks everything women do makes them sluts. Breathing around a man and not fucking them makes them a slut. Being nice to a man makes them a slut. Fucking A SINGULAR MAN makes them a slut. Fucking no men makes them a slut. Fucking another woman makes them a slut.

It’s literally impossible to not be a slut to these men, ladies. So, fuck who you want and you just keep doing you. These men will think you’re a slut anyways, and let’s face it, their opinions of you aren’t that important.

@Scildfreja

I thought that was Urist McCatbeard?

@Morgaine:

3) are there really no cat lords in this world?

I know the answer to this one!
Yes! Yes there are! I know one.

Glad I could help

(Sorry for the double post, edit window ran out)

@PI

So, fuck who you want and you just keep doing you.

That’s what toys are for after all 🙂

Honestly, what doesn’t set this asshole off?