Two videos have been making the rounds lately that I think capture the surreality that is live in Trumpmerica, and can’t help make you wonder (as many of us have been wondering since November 8) if perhaps we’ve slipped into the wrong timeline.
Let’s start with the Milk Nazis.
Milk Nazis, you ask? I’ll let Mic explain, because I’m lazy:
At the Museum of the Moving Image in New York City on a Friday night, neo-Nazis and other trolls danced shirtless in front of a camera. The livestream setup had originally been established by actor Shia LaBeouf as an anti-Trump art installation. But the project has since become a broadcast outlet for white nationalism.
Amid all the tattoos of Third Reich iconography bouncing around, one thing stood out: The neo-Nazis were all drinking milk. They spat it out as they danced, letting it dribble down their chins.
Milk, the longtime staple for growing children, is now the new, creamy symbol of white racial purity in President Donald Trump‘s America.
See, the idea is that pure-blooded white people have the lactase enzyme that allows them to drink milk without having to run the bathroom afterwards. Or at least are more likely to be lactose-tolerant than most people of color. Or something. In any case, internet Nazis on sites like 4chan and the Daily Stormer have decided, with varying degrees of seriousness, that milk does a Nazi good.
Hmm. I could tolerate lactose (and drink milk) all I wanted as a kid. Now I can’t. So I guess I’ve gotten less Aryan with age?
Anyway, here’s the video. It’s 12 minutes long, though you don’t have to watch the whole thing to get the basic idea. I watched the whole thing because what in holy hell is going on in this word? Also I kind of liked that one of the Milk Nazis looked like he had been teleported to NYC straight from a Skinny Puppy concert in 1989.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTy6f_HyuQU
Milk Nazis, I hate these guys! (And also can’t drink them.)
The other video in question is a much more low key affair, and everyone in it keeps their shirt on.
It’s a Breitbart interview with White House Spokesman Sean Spicer, and for once Spicer is not the embarrassing one here. Let’s just say that the video has the production values of a high school video class project, and that the Breitbart interviewer has all the smooth professionalism of that “boom goes the dynamite” guy.
Wow. I mean, I was in fact involved in a high school public access “news” show (I think maybe it was part of a class?) and for all of our incompetence (which was massive) I think we did better than this. My most vivid memory of the experience was watching the technician for the public access channels putting his hand down the back of his pants to scratch his butt.
I can only hope that is not something that any of the Breitbarters involved in this production does, as it is kind of grody.
PS: Note to Beryl, if you’re reading this: Your now-husband was in the video class with me. After witnessing the butt-scratching incident, he quipped to me that he wasn’t going to be shaking that guy’s hand any time soon.
When they said “the internet will become real because of Trump”, I didn’t realize this is exactly how it was going to go.
Then again, despite looking white (but not identifying as such), I will never be able to understand why white people do the things they do.
Messy babies, dribbling milk.
Milk seems to be the only thing they’re not intolerant of.
(Well, it is generally white I suppose)
Well… this is a real thing, Lactase persistence and is found most commonly among Europeans and more commonly still among some Northern Europeans. Most humans – and certainly most (all?) human populations are lactose tolerant as children, but lose that as they grow up. It’s what helps us be able to drink our mother’s milk and then move on to other more ‘grown up’ food.
According to wikipedia, 100% of Irish people and 80% of Finns are expected to have lactase persistence https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactase_persistence.
Having Finnish and Irish ancestry and being mainly Northern European in origin in general, one might expect I would be lactase persistent. And I am.
However, I do have non-white ancestry, too – so adult tolerance to milk is hardly a marker of ‘purity’, it is just a marker that you bear a non-harmful mutation.
However, dancing around spitting milk is certainly not a marker of adulthood.
@Alan Robertshaw
But what about… CHOCOLATE MILK?
It’s even tastier than regular milk! What will they do when they discover that more people prefer chocolate milk over the boring white stuff?
I guess I shouldn’t be this surprised that nazis are this dumb about genetics, but I’m still impressed that someone on the internet convinced them to dribble milk like gassy babies on camera.
Different mutations for adult lactase productions occurred in populations in northern Europe and north Africa within the last 10,000 years. It’s actually a very fascinating example of recent human evolution. But, uh, being able to digest other animal’s baby food doesn’t confer you with any super-powers or other abilities besides being able to digest other animal’s baby food. Nor does being the bearer of a relatively recent mutation make someone “more evolved” or more advanced than anyone else. God, white supremacists are the dumbest people.
I was blue-eyed and blond on my first passport, and I drank milk!
Now I have sharply declining lactose tolerance and I’m brown-eyed and -haired.
To make up for it I’ve met a lot of Iranians. They tend to have dark hair and eyes too.
Milk sharpens you up, and makes you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.
http://idyllopuspress.com/idyllopus/film/images/co/sh_alexopening2.jpg
@ Arthur
Heh, well I did say generally.
Mmm, now I have a craving for chocolate ‘milk’
(I put it in quotes cos my vegan oppressor won’t let us have the real stuff)
ETA: @ moggie – but didn’t the Moloka Bar lace it with opiates? Hmm, now I’ve changed my mind about the chocolate.
Once you’ve become more progressive with age, anything super white wants to kick your ass.
Me, I see the milk and I instantly see another bunch of right wing idiots that get the wrong idea from a classic movie (read the book? Hahaha). No, A Clockwork Orange was not endorsing the behavior of Alex and the droogs. It was not meant to be an instruction manual for ultra-violence. Pat pat pat.
(Ha! Moggie beat me to it!)
Hey, all the people I’ve met when I’ve gone to see Skinny Puppy have been lovely people who were very welcoming and not-white-supremicistey.
Shane Dawson was talking about a Nazi milk site in this video. At about 3:15.
https://youtu.be/cCbLqqJGAgQ
I totally want to ruin these dudes’ party with some Hershey’s syrup.
@Alan
You could have it laced with various things, mostly psychedelics. The line in question refers to milk with adrenochrome, which, despite popular rumour in the 70s, has no known effect on the human brain whatsoever. In context, it’s something akin to PCP apparently.
@ dalillama
Just back from the Co-op. They only had Nesquick.
I’m not convinced the Milk Nazi thing isn’t an elaborate prank to encourage Nazis to drink large amounts of whole milk so they can waste money and vomit a lot. Bonus points if we can convince them that pasteurization is a Jewish plot.
Oh, and you might have heard that KKK Imperial Wizard Frank Ancona was found dead the other day, shot in the head. His wife and stepson have been arrested on suspicion of 1st degree murder.
http://fox4kc.com/2017/02/13/frank-anconas-stepson-accused-of-shooting-him-wife-accused-of-helping-to-dispose-of-body/
I know, he just looks like an industrial music fan circa 1989. As someone who was a big industrial music fan circa 1989 I ran across a lot of dudes who looked like that.
I can’t imagine that being able to drink milk is just a white thing. I’m not an expert, or anything, but aren’t there large populations in Asia and Africa whose diets consist for, like, 90% percent of milk? (The mongolians and the Maasai come to mind) They’ve probably managed to build up a tolerance for it over the (thousands of) years.
Maybe this is just another case of people not realizing that there is a lot of variation in the human species, yes, even within the same race. (Another reason why race is, biologically, a bull shit concept)
@ Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur I am white and was raised so, and I still don’t understand why so many white people do the things they do.
I have native American ancestry and I’m allergic to milk.
*impurely stares at Nazis while drinking chocolate almond milk*
This video goes into my mental “Nazis are fucking weird” folder.
Part of me is filled with joy, another part is horrified because the possibility of serving jail time is very high, and a very small part of me is disgusted that I would be happy that someone is dead but then I remembered they shot a KKK member, high-ranking fuckhead from a white supremacist terrorist group so I don’t feel so bad anymore.
Yeah, and yak milk (I think they use mostly yak milk) has more lactose than unprocessed cow milk so Mongolians are technically even more lactose tolerant than white people, so.
That’s tough but fair.
@leftwingfox
That’s another person dead that people won’t feel sorry for.
Dang, I didn’t realize my lactose tolerance was a sign that I was an Aryan Superman.
It’s a bit of a low bar to cross, isn’t it?