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Ladies! Scare off creepy pickup artists by looking like someone who goes to protests!

Nailed it!

The lady-botherers at Return of Kings have done the women of the world a huge favor today, offering them one weird trick that will enable them to avoid the icky attentions of the idiots who read Return of Kings.

It’s really quite simple: look like the sort of woman who protests Trump on the regular.

In a post titled “7 Reasons To Never Date A Girl Who Attends A Protest,” RoK contributor Mark Derian explains at length why protesting women make him wilt.

As Derian sees it, protesting is pretty much the equivalent of being addicted to prescription painkillers. “We attend protests for one reason and one reason only,” he boldly declares,

to cover up psychological issues we cannot manage on our own. We fabricate an impending social change because the real reason for our march is horrifying. In this sense, treat a girl who goes to a protest like a girl who has an addiction to pain killers. To anyone who isn’t in pain, vicodin doesn’t feel good—it feels like a low-grade death.

Weird, because that’s exactly the feeling I get reading Return of Kings.

Derian, drawing liberally from a vast assortment of alleged facts he keeps stored in his posterior, explains that protesty gals suffer from a wide assortment of psychological problems. The assortment is so wide that many of his complaints more or less cancel each other out.

On the one hand, protesty gals are “anti-social,” so socially maladjusted that they can’t accept that “other people have different views and … still be civil.”

On the other hand, protesty gals are too social, surrounded by “low-quality friends,” some of whom might even be fat.

A destructive relationship is like two crabs in a bucket, and a million woman march is a million crabs in a bucket. It’s a validation station of each other’s obesity and loneliness.

Protesty gals read too much:

A girl who has a sense of what it means to be happy wouldn’t be online reading news, the only purpose of which is to stoke her fear and anger. The most feminine girls I’ve known have come from different backgrounds, but they all had one thing in common: limited media consumption.

But they also read too little:

I appreciate a girl who reads—not xoJane but books. Reading indicates the ability to have and express thoughts, not opinions. It indicates the desire to learn, not consume. It indicates an interest in museums, not night clubs. It indicates the ability to sit and be okay with yourself, not get a hit from the world’s most powerful benzo—the self-righteousness of the mob.

This from a guy whose idea of great literature is Roosh’s BANG series of rape dating guides.

But in the end it doesn’t really matter why Derian dislikes protesty gals, just that he does.

While this is a great relief for those women who are currently engaging in mass protest, women who aren’t protesting at this moment may be mistaken for women who never protest, which leaves them at great risk of creepy dudes approaching them on the street to ask them where the nearest pet store is.

So how does one look like a protester when one is not currently protesting something? Here are a few tips:

  1. Carry a protest sign with you at all times.
  2. Wear one of those pink pussy hats at all times, even indoors and while sleeping.
  3. Chant continually. Anything that starts with “hey hey, ho ho” is good.
  4. Form human chains with women in your immediate vicinity.
  5. Periodically “take the streets.”
  6. Instead of carrying a purse, carry a bag emblazoned with the words GEORGE SOROS MONEY.
  7. Instead of perfume, gently douse yourself with pepper spray before heading out the door.
  8. Wriggle uncomfortably as if you haven’t been able to pee for ten hours.
  9. Punch a Nazi.

Hope this helps!

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Saffron
Saffron
3 years ago

I need a T-shirt with that picture of Princess Leia on it that says “A Woman’s Place is in the Resistance.” That should scare them off, right?

Sadly I can’t buy one right now because the original artist doesn’t have rights to the image, and anyone selling it is ripping her off. 🙁

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

A girl who has a sense of what it means to be happy wouldn’t be online reading news, the only purpose of which is to stoke her fear and anger.

comment image

‘Nuff said.

Though, let’s get into it a bit more. “You’re not happy because you’re online reading THE NEWS, which only makes you angry!”

Yeah. Duh. I’m angry because the shit in the news is horrifying. Do you expect me just to ignore the world burning around me just so I’m happy enough to keep your boner happy?

Fuck that.

RosieLa
RosieLa
3 years ago

They forgot tattoos! With enough tattoos of protest-type art you’re set to scare them off forever 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Accusations of having a horrifying agenda.

Accusations of being anti-social.

Accusations of being surrounded by low quality friends.

Accusations of being constantly angry and fearful.

Accusations of being shallow and unoriginal.

What is that I’m sniffing?

comment image

The stench of projection, perhaps?

tim gueguen
3 years ago

I wonder what Derian figures are acceptable books for women to read. Atlas Shrugged? The Kama Sutra? The Art of the Deal?

PaganReader
3 years ago

I appreciate a girl who reads

Well, fuck. I’m going to have to make a pussy hat.
@wwth
KITTY!

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Pussy hat

http://kittentoob.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2015/07/22-640×699.jpeg

Or another one
comment image

I don’t know why the first one didn’t post.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

First one the name ends in “jpeg” rather than “jpg” and clearly the plugin that auto-embeds decided to reinvent the wheel and try to work out what’s an image on its own rather than using standard techniques.

Second one is very cute. I haven’t had that happen to me in hours.

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

He’s so picky about women. They mustn’t be like this. They must be like that.

Dude, no matter how many times you list your do’s and don’ts, no one is going to want to date you.

It’s because you’re repulsive.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

h@PaganReader: I’m quite the reader too and so I also need a pussy hat.

@Everyone: Do you suggest that I wear my (clip-on) nose ring too? Maybe looking full-on goth will scare them off–like “Ewww, she’s a freak! I bet she’s addicted to drugs!” Maybe take it one step further: when I feel crafty, pick up a plain black t-shirt, draw an angry cat with puff paints and write “Paws off!” in puff paint and, of course, make it one of my new favorites.

More importantly, I missed you all big-time!

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Necro
Good to see you again! I was worried that all the Trump talk would start to drive everyone away.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Kat | February 2, 2017 at 10:29 pm
He’s so picky about women. They mustn’t be like this. They must be like that.

Dude, no matter how many times you list your do’s and don’ts, no one is going to want to date you.

It’s because you’re repulsive.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/46b7b161e178bb8256eb99dfd8c4c7b2/tumblr_inline_oj33oexhW81sm1t3h_500.png

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

@Ooglyboggles: I definitely am here to stay! I just have dormant periods due to being easily distracted. Also, I am very seriously considering joining a local Indivisible group. This nasty woman won’t be bullied into silence! Like Jessica Chastain has said “Beware a redhead”

@Cheeseburger Slut: I love that pic!

Mels
Mels
3 years ago

I love (that is, “love”) how he talks about hypothetical people addicted to prescription painkillers as if they deserve derision instead of empathy.

Obviously it’s hardly shocking, since these guys wouldn’t know empathy if it fell on their heads like a meteor, but it really helps to drive home how morally bankrupt their worldview is.

In this sense, treat a girl who goes to a protest like a girl who has an addiction to pain killers. To anyone who isn’t in pain, vicodin doesn’t feel good—it feels like a low-grade death.

So you’re admitting, in your own repulsive way, that people who protest are often in some kind of pain? Like…perhaps the pain associated with being oppressed? I’m guessing that wasn’t your intent, eh Marky?

Monster-Teeth
Monster-Teeth
3 years ago

These scumbags sure sound like they want to emulate the Taliban regarding the treatment of women. Malignant pricks.

Also, David F, why haven’t you covered the UC Berkeley protests when Milo slithered over there? That waste of carbon & the low-lives who invited him planned to speak in a room named after MLK Jr.

LindsayIrene
3 years ago

Maybe looking full-on goth will scare them off

Judging from my experiences during my goth days, they will mock you when they’re with their friends, but when they’re by themselves they will ask you out. I got hit on soooo much during those days. Got my first and only threesome proposition, even.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

I still think it’d be a great idea to have a B-movie about a Roosh-like, bigoted pickup artist who attempts to pick up the wrong woman while touring Germany and becomes a test subject for her mad scientist father (played by Dieter Laser), who is obsessed with proving male pregnancy is possible. Later, when the very pregnant Roosh-lookalike tries to visit an abortion clinic, he gets heckled by a group of all-female street preachers and protesters. He complains that he was experimented on against his will, but finds out that since it happened on private property, it was legal.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

@Mels: You know what they say about stopped clocks.

Also, regarding the “obesity” comment, how much do you all want to bet that anyone over, say, a size 6 is “obese” to this assclown?

@Lindsey: Shit! I’m sorry that happened to you. I get hit on a lot, whether I look goth or not. I have been goth for most of my life, but only recently started calling myself goth. I’ll probably go with wearing my “This is what a feminist looks like” shirt or my homemade “Paws Off” shirt or my “FeMale: The Original Iron Man” shirt.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

And then the mainstream abortion clinic turns him away anyway, because they recognize who he is and don’t want to do business with him. So he ends up having to go to a back-alley place run by a wacko who’s a cross between Kermit Gosnell and Steve Martin’s character in Little Shop of Horrors.

Mels
Mels
3 years ago

@Violet:
Size 6? Probably more like 3, tops. (In US sizes, anyway.)
Though the whole concept of obesity, even as a medical description, is truly a nonsensical mess. Not that I’d expect a RoK-er to apply a modicum of critical thought to the topic.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

@Melz: In that case, I’m like my namesake post-gum according to them. I’m a *gasp* size 16, but that’s because I have to fit my curves. Fitting the waist doesn’t guarantee a good overall fit for me. Oddly enough I still attract creepy fuckers, including this one guy who I thought was inviting me over just to be friendly until he mentioned “fooling around” *le dry heave*

Steven Dutch
Steven Dutch
3 years ago

When you see a couple where the man is healthy but the woman has a disability, and the man cares for her …..

D’you suppose Roosh and Co. would ever do that? Or is he a cuck?

I have to get out one dumb question a day.

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
3 years ago

I don’t know guys, I think women who protest about things are the kind women I want in my life.

Able to think for herself, to debate, to stand on her own two feet… Really, who doesn’t want that in a relationship? How can we grow as people if we don’t have differing opinions or different ways to look at things?

But then I forgot that we’re talking about extremely insecure dudes who can’t handle someone telling them that either bacon is a crappy pork product or that the first Sonic games weren’t that great. Criticism isn’t their forte.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

I would seriously buy and carry around a big purse with the words “GEORGE SOROS MONEY” all day every day. And I’d fill it with frog stuffies, and if anyone mildly trumpish got on my case I’d just open the bag and start pelting’em with frog dolls.

(I’m in a strange mood. I’ll blame the medications)

Dormousing_it (formerly RoscoeTCat)
Dormousing_it (formerly RoscoeTCat)
3 years ago

I have a sinking feeling I’m more than old enough to be this writer’s mother, but anyway, how does Vicodin feel like a “low-grade death”? Is that why so many people wind up in prison due to their desire to obtain these narcotics?

At least he’s willing to entertain the concept of women having thoughts. There’s hope for him yet!

AliBoBali
AliBoBali
3 years ago

I would buy and carry a “Bleeding Heart Liberal” purse and it will read “George Soros Money, Welfare Checks, Obamaphone”…

I might add “Aborted Fetus” just for good measure…

Dormousing_it (formerly RoscoeTCat)
Dormousing_it (formerly RoscoeTCat)
3 years ago

In order for me to get hit on by men under 50 years old, most of the following conditions must be met:

Hair professionally cut, colored, and styled
Flattering makeup, including contouring around my jawline
Dim lighting, or the light hits me just right
A certain pair of high-heeled boots embellished with chains
Low-salt, low-fat diet for at least 10 days previously
Dude’s had a few drinks

Fortunately, I’ve been happily married for many years.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

@ScildFreya: Count me in on the George Soros Money/Bleeding Heart Liberal Bag movement. I’d sung the MacGoogles song from Max Keeble’s Big Move at them while throwing the frog stuffies at them (I’d rescue the stuffies afterwards and bring them back home)

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Saw this very encouraging piece from Rachel Maddow yesterday.

http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/anti-trump-backlash-rapidly-outpacing-tea-party-in-its-prime-868179523728

Exemplified by this even more encouraging item in The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/feb/02/republican-selling-public-lands-bill-withdraw-jason-chaffetz

Way to go, chumps! Offer legislation that unites the environmentalists and the huntin’-fishin’-shootin’ crowd in opposing you. Now see how far you get with trying to turn public land into private profit.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
3 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

Thanks for that timely gif! I love Gaston as a villain because he encapsulates the toxic masculine ideals that get overlooked too often in popular media. And unlike many of the “outsider” villains, whose villain status seems somehow tied to them being outsiders and disrupting the (natural) order of things, the narrative of Beauty and the Beast constantly reinforces the fact that Gaston is everything that the community looks up to and admires and will allow to do anything because he’s “the normal”, and this makes him extremely dangerous. It’s not that he’s an outsider who’s an asshole, it’s that he’s an insider who’s an asshole.

I could go on a rant about Gaston as a villain and the merits of sometimes defining villainy more in terms of what is considered acceptable by a majority rather than what is considered unacceptable by a majority, but I’ll just close by saying that I always find it disgusting that clueless dudebros (like probably Derian there) don’t see a problem with being like Gaston. They’re, like, missing the whole point of that movie.

Dante
Dante
3 years ago

Please write about the UC Berkeley Milo incident

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

Hello.

A girl who has a sense of what it means to be happy wouldn’t be online reading news, the only purpose of which is to stoke her fear and anger.

But, obviously, for a cis-man, reading all day long the transcendant and fantabulous posts on ROK is the summum of class, happiness and culture. How dare some people not aknowledge that !?

Out of topic
On a former post, someone had comment that both alt-right (in the name) forums of reddit have been closed. I also read in an periodic article that the angry posters are mainly flowing to a site call voat.co. Any more information about that ?

Have a nice day.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@occasional reader
In short they are using “I can’t believe it’s not Reddit” the site as another hub for their alt-right/neonazi/white supremecist crap.

http://www.theverge.com/2017/2/1/14478948/reddit-alt-right-ban-altright-alternative-right-subreddits-doxing

It took the site facing an ultimatum of their nazi users doxxing a person who punched a neonazi for them to shut down the fascist subreddits. When it came down to outright either siding with nazis or people who are against nazis, only then when there was ABSOLUTELY no wiggle room would they have decided to shut down the subreddits. Wow its almost like they don’t actually give a fuck about their users until they had to face the prospect of having an incident that would show in everyone’s eyes that they’d rather defend nazis when it came down to it.

BTW The donald is still up.

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

@Steven Dutch

When you see a couple where the man is healthy but the woman has a disability, and the man cares for her …..

D’you suppose Roosh and Co. would ever do that? Or is he a cuck?

I have to get out one dumb question a day.

Four sentences that don’t belong together.

@Violet
Nice to hear from you again!

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

Trump travel ban
Kellyanne Conway blames refugees for ‘Bowling Green massacre’ that never happened

Donald Trump’s senior adviser uses fictional incident to justify US president’s travel ban: ‘Most people don’t know that because it didn’t get covered’

Senator Rand Paul also made a variation of her false claim. In a separate interview with MSNBC, Paul referred to “the attempted bombing in Bowling Green, where I live”.

What the ever-loving’ eff.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/03/kellyanne-conway-refugees-bowling-green-massacre-never-happened

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

> Ooglyboggles
Thank you for the information. The article i had read before was not clearly stating that Reddit was facing juridic consequences. It is sad that they have closed the stuff only because of legal risks. Especially if the posters/commenters just have to create a new subreddit to reload the hate cannon. That is like a dark infinite loop.

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

Breaking news: It looks like no one was hurt except the soldier, who was slightly injured. Whew!

Paris
French soldier opens fire on man outside Louvre in Paris

Major security operation under way in Paris after man carrying rucksack attempts knife attack on soldier, say reports

A major security operation is under way near the Louvre museum in Paris after a man attempted to attack a soldier who was patrolling in the area.

A man carrying a rucksack attempted a knife attack on the soldier, according to the public broadcaster France Info. The soldier opened fire.

The attempted attack took place in the Carousel du Louvre, a commercial underground shopping centre near the entrance to the Louvre, which is one of the world’s most-visited museums.

The soldier was patrolling as part of the Operation Sentenelle foot-patrols around French landmarks that have been in place since the attack on the magazine Charlie Hebdo and a Paris kosher supermarket in January 2015.

A spokewoman for the Louvre said the museum was “closed for the moment” but would not confirm reports it had been evacuated.

This is a breaking news story. More details to follow

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/03/french-soldier-shoots-man-outside-louvre-paris

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@occasional reader
I find it cute that the man who talks of his immigrant background as a response to Trump’s immigration ban also ignores coontown, The Donald and other main hubs of nazis on Reddit, not to mention MGTOW/PUSA/MRA/Incel etc. This is why I have no love for Reddit, their libertarian laissez faire policy might as well be a honeypot that screams “all bigots and all stripes are welcome to feel validated and correct in their belief to discriminate other people based on race, class, orientation, belief and anything you can think of!” It took Something Awful to bring their pedofile ring to the attention of federal agents to get Reddit to shut down their DOZENS of pedofile subreddits.
@Kat
That was a close one.

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

> Ooglyboggles
Yes ! And it is not even free speach, because you do not use your real name. Arrh, that is really frustrating and stressfull !

> Kat
The agressor have been shooted (not to death, luckily, he is said to be still conscient currently). He is said to have two machettes (he has injured one of the soldier to the arm) and to have yeld the sadly usual “Allah Akbar”. He was alone and was carrying no explosive, but in the running interrogatory, he pretends he wanted to do his attack as a terrorist thing.
Let us see how many minutes it takes to our far right to raise the fact up…

Michael Brew
Michael Brew
3 years ago

@Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

The first Sonic games were amazing, thank you very much.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

The Bowling Green Massacre lie is terrifying.

So far it’s been lone wolf attacks. Lynchings will be next. The pogroms are coming.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Anachronist,

I also think Gaston is interesting as a villain because he’s not much more villainous than Beast. Gaston is the asshole alpha male but Beast is the creepy Nice Guy who kidnaps his love interest and keeps her there until she develops Stockholm syndrome. Beast is the outsider villain of this piece.

No one will ever convince me that Beauty and the Beast isn’t a horror story.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

The Grauniad is asking for suggestions re how men can support feminism on line …

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/03/men-support-feminists-on-social-media

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I had to hit post because I got to my bus stop, but I wasn’t quite done rambling about Beauty and the Beast. I think it’s viewed as a romance because it’s told from the perspective of Beast. It seems like Belle is the main character but I think it’s actually a reconstruction of her POV as told by Beast. Abusers tell themselves that they’re good and nice and misunderstood. Beauty and the Beast represents that fantasy narrative abusers and creeps tell themselves.

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme indeed!

I need to read the fairy tale and watch the Disney cartoon again. Those are just the impressions I have of it from memory. There’s probably more creepy detail I’ve forgotten.

Oh, and another horrific thing about the story is how complicit Belle’s father is in the whole thing. Parents turning their children over to abusers sure is a common theme in fairytales. It’s also in Cinderella, Rapunzel and Hansel and Gretel. Just to name a few.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Oh, wait. The abuse theoretically didn’t start until after Cinderella’s father died. Although I’m not sure I buy that.

Sorry. It’s early.

Lone Galtian Bootstrapper
Lone Galtian Bootstrapper
3 years ago

@FNDA …How can we grow as people…

Ah, but you see, that’s the key. If there’s one thing assorted manospherians don’t want it’s to grow (eek) or change (aargh). They are perfect as they are, it’s the world that needs to change, dontyouknowuffink? /s

Waxwork
Waxwork
3 years ago

I don’t get why bleeding heart liberal is considered an insult. Why is being kind or caring a bad thing?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

Our Vice Prime Minister, Isabella Lövin of the Green Party, signed a new climate law. The photo is kinda… interesting. 🙂

http://i.imgur.com/a6nz1zUl.jpg

leftwingfox
leftwingfox
3 years ago

@Imaginary Petal: They look pissed. And awesome. 🙂

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

Pissed?

I’d say determined, some with smiles.