With all the trouble and uncertainty in the world today, it’s sort of heartening to remember that there are still a few things that we can count on to remain the same, forever.
Like reactionary doofuses yelling pointlessly about nothing on YouTube for hours on end. And when they’re not yelling about nothing they’re yelling about each other. They’re basically internet versions of free energy machines, able to generate endless drama without any input from the outside world.
The latest bit of drama? Reactionary YouTube blatherer and Sarkeesian-botherer Sargon of Akkad — who is literally just a dude named Carl from Swindon — managed to get himself temporarily banned from Twitter for Tweeting gay porn at some of his fans who just happened to be Nazis.
Which raises the question: if you don’t want Nazi fans, maybe instead of sending them porn you should stop saying so many things that Nazis like to hear in the first place? Also, weren’t you recently bragging about the endorsement you got from the Nazi-esque thugs of the English Defence League?
These are a few of the pertinent questions raised in the following video on the controversy, put together by the artist known as Hbomberguy, an expert if somewhat hyperactive skewerer of self-important YouTube pontificators. (You may recall his classic takedown of The Sarkeesian Effect.)
Anyway, enjoy. It’s a nice respite from watching Trump destroy the world. Also COMULISTS!!!!!!
I … I don’t understand YouTube.
How do you have ten minutes to listen to someone rant-laugh?
How do you have five hours to listen to someone complain about a twitter suspension?
Can Anita Sarkeesian please take it for the team and actually eat Trump? Cos that’d be well awesome. She might get some form of poisoning from all the artificial orange, but I doubt she’d be hard pressed to crowdfund her ensuing medical treatment after she’d saved the world!
He made a 5 hour whine n’ wank video?
Five hours.
Five hours.
Oh well. I made a Cromulist party campaign poster for you all
@Axecalibur
I’m just not sure that it makes the Ess Jay Double-U movement look good when we foist our work off onto one person.
Yes, Anita Sarkeesian is famous. Does that mean she’s our mom?!
This is clearly a group project.
And on that day, Jontron gained some fuckton more dudebro fans and lost the respect of actually thinking people.
Ain’t that the truth, Flamia. Though, I looked through his twitter feed and he’s very much a “both sides are terrible” sort. Nothin screams “Please tell me I’m right!” more than that.
Also, welcome! Don’t think I’ve seen you around before. Please find your welcome package to the right. It has scented candles. They smell like misandry!
Note to self: Avoid WHTM barbecues.
H.Bomberguy is always a favorite.
I believe it was WHTM that introduced me to him.
(So thanks again for all you do!)
I am not now, nor have ever been, a member of the Cromulist Party. Well, until just this minute, when I saw that dashing kitty kommissar and heard about their enlightened views on catnip distribution.
Oh Sargon, nice to see that you’re still such a sub-par blogger and a crappy, whiny person. Some things never change.
For my part, I am indeed a commulist. I am a strong supporter of fluffy clouds. Fluffy clouds are the best clouds.
Wait, that’s cumulist. Shit.
Although joining the Cromulist party is looking more lucrative in the light of that informative meme.
Anyway, why do I know this Jontron guy? Has he said some other shit that anyone knows of? Because I’m pretty sure I remember him from some other shitty-ass context. Or maybe I’m getting my Internet personalities mixed up?
Sargon is such a whiny, pretentious douchebag. How miserable and boring can you be if you just sit on your ass rambling for YouTube day-in day-out? I tried listening to a few of his videos & they weren’t even remotely interesting. Just drivel.
That’s a wonderfully cromulent poster, WWTH. Nicely done.
Ugh, the one thing that annoys me to no end is how Google prioritizes a random asshole over the actual Sargon of Akkad. Makes research difficult when you’re looking to read up and half the first page results are related to him.
Probably my fault for naming a planet pivotal to the story Sargon… 😛
The artist Hbomberguy remains the best thing to ever happen to the internet. Thanks david for letting it be known!
Being whiny and long-winded on youtube can be quite profitable, I’m told.
Well, we all must make sacrifices for the common good. I, personally, will sacrifice my husband’s and my sons’ stomachs to the cause of Trump consumption. They are champion consumers of barbecued ribs.
Also, my cat will eat anything, especially anything orange.
So my phone already autocorrects to “Globohomo.” This bodes well.
Are replacement stomachs guaranteed for those who sacrifice them to eat Trump? I will happily contribute my original one if that’s the case.
Wow, he finally got banned for that? Of all the provocatively sexist and xenophobic stuff he’s ever said on Twitter, it was tweeting porn at Nazis that got him suspended.
Maybe it’s their coddling of Nazis, but I get the feeling Twitter cares more about the opinions of Nazis than non-Nazis.
@Anarchonist
You may know him from this event a few couple of years back. http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/807/297/312.png
Using slurs and then doubling down. He also then went on to do the usual “all these people complaining about me being an ass should care about more important things like GAZA”
http://i.imgur.com/ITOFkHr.png
@Kat:
I think the Migtoes prefer to focus on a single individual and her work because it’s easy. All you have to do is find out what Anita is up to today and your Two Minutes’ Hate is done!
You know, I dress up as a bird and go on strange rants* on YouTube, and I take deep comfort in knowing that I’m not the most absurd thing on YouTube by a long shot.
*Yes, Really
Just wanted to say, I’m used to these posts being witty, but you knocked it out of the ballpark with this title.
EDIT: I wanted to say “‘Cromulist’ is a perfectly cromulent word!”, but I see EJ beat me to the punch.
Jontron’s job as a comedian is to make people feel better.
If you’re defining person as an abled cishet white man, apparently.
I would like to see your bird-costume Youtube rants, please Schnookums. I’m running a horrible temperature today and I feel the urge to watch something hallucinatory.
and y’know who ELSE is a Columnist??? DAVID FUTRELLE is a Columnist!!! (betcha didn’t know THAT!?!?)
… oh, wait, he’s a Journalist, not a Columnist…