Were the Women’s Marches last Saturday an inspiring act of resistance to the incoming Trump regime, or just a collection of bitter, aging childless bitches looking for some drama in their lives?
It’s the latter, at least according to one bitter, aging, and I’m pretty sure childless bastard. The virulently racist, woman-hating, Trump-loving pickup artist Heartiste — real name James Weidmann — offers his take on the march in a blog post today.
His working hypothesis?
The … Bitter Bitch March can be explained, in part, as the mass hysteria of childless women seeking the drama in their lives that their childlessness denies them.
Huh. So apparently the assorted pictures floating around of children at the Women’s Marches in Washington and elsewhere are all just photoshop jobs? If so, kudos to the photoshoppers for making them look so realistic.
Meanwhile, a writer for Forbes either apparently hallucinated a whole little army of kids at the march. “Among the estimated 1.2 million people at the Women’s March on Washington were a staggering number of children,” Forbes’ Frances Bridges writes.
I was surprised by the myriad of babies swaddled to their parents, children marching, sitting in strollers or on the shoulders of their parents and grandparents.
But let’s just set aside the photographic evidence and eyewitness reports. This is Trump’s America, and in this new reality, Heartiste is entitled to his own set of alternate facts.
So let’s just, for the sake of argument, assume that the marches were overflowing with bitter childless women. Why does that matter? Heartiste quotes one eminent expert on all things female, namely an anonymous commenter on his site called Days of Broken Arrows, who posits that
Women are psychologically built to deal with drama, because nothing is more drama-inducing that having to deal with a baby or a toddler.
But if there are no kids, women still have the psychological need for drama. So they create it.
You can’t argue with this SCIENCE.
Heartiste goes on to wax poetic about the evils of childlessness and women and Ashley Judd.
American White women — and Western White women in general — have the easy life, all whims catered to, all conceptions thwarted, all egos stroked. Their abject sexual liberation and child-free lifestyles … has made them yearn for submission to a greater dramatic power. Now that God is gone and the patriarchy is prostrate and supplicating boringly drama-free beta males orbit them like cosmic dust, to whom do these placated women submit?
Islam. Leftoid equalism. The cock carousel. And finally, they submit to incoherent rage fueled by the dying eggs of their childless wombs.
Orbiting beta dust. Cock carousels. Dying egg fuel. I’m having a little trouble visualizing all of this. Could someone with better graphics ability than me construct a useful diagram?
Anyhoo, the worst example of bitter childless womanhood that Heartiste can imagine is actress and activist Ashley Judd, childless by choice, who apparently read some sort of poem before “a squealing crowd of whores and harpies” at the DC march.
Heartiste, who has apparently seen video of the recitation, is not impressed, declaring that Ms. Judd’s
“poem” was a psychotic, obscene fusillade of nonsense and man-hatred. A more iconic representative of the inchoate mentality and emotional infantilism of modern feminism would be hard to find. A literal crazy bag lady screeched like a loony toon as half a million sympatico spinsters and sluts metaphorically scissored her c**ty discharge.
Not only is scissoring not really a thing, that’s not even how it works.
After weighing all the scientific evidence, Heartiste concludes:
Childlessness and cresting sexual worthlessness are the two unspoken, subconscious psychological drivers impelling the scattershot and scatterbrained “protests” of the women who went to the Bitter Bitch March. …
Strip away the sound and nagging of the bitterbitches, signifying nothing, and you are left with the sad tragic realities of their lives. Childless Ashley Judd with the dead womb six feet under a mound of piling regret is Exhibit [vagina-related slur redacted].
Heartiste — himself childless, as far as I know — follows his attack on Judd with a passage that is perhaps a little more revealing than he intends it to be. Judd, he declares, is
a nasty woman because her heart is small and black, poisoned with envy and regret, with nothing but ugly feminist anthems to alleviate the pain of spinsterhood and cratering SMV that consumes her.
Projection, it’s not just a river in Egypt.
@Redsilkphoenix
For its members, the Bitter Bitch Bureau provides a platform for bitching bitterly. Between bitching bouts, boardmembers are given ganache bon-bons, receive red and white wine (which will pair peculiarly well with white whines) and enjoy extracurricular exclamations of bitter bitching to their complete contentment.
For its clients, the Bitter Bitch Bureau provides paltry little benefit beyond bitching directed directly towards their thoroughly deserving denigration.
The Bitter Bitch Bureau, politely presenting your yearly bitter-bitching needs!
Kids are such a drain on me, I understand exactly where you’re coming from. They’re adorable, but they’re just so much.
(And they’re gonna be here all weekend, yaaay. And of course I will take care of entertaining them all weekend, yaaay. Sleepovers? Why gosh that sounds like it’s wonderful! I should be super grateful!
Sorry, perhaps a bit too much snark from me. Grumble gromble.)
I remember a bit of drama in the toddler-ish years. They don’t have a lot of dampener on their emotions, they express unbelievable joy – such happiness over such small things (which is fun) and then such misery or outrage over such small things (not so much fun). But yeah a lot of parenting toddlers is wearying eternal vigilance (why have you dumped all the shampoo in the bath? how did you find my carefully hidden sharpie and draw all over my sofa) and lots of the graft of personal care.
I kinda miss the unfettered joy, but I don’t miss the meltdowns. I haven’t created new drama over this. I don’t think so anyway.
Anyway, I did take my son on the march. 🙂
/reads the thread after a long night
Wow. I didn’t expect this at all. Usually I end up being the one in the wrong or am ignored. I got to say thank you to all of you.
@PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
Thanks.
@Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Sometimes I feel with any relative any mistake is a landmine. Honstly I feel better off as a non-entity. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.
@Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee
Stuffed animals are always nice, thank you.
@Fishy Goat
Well at the very least he didn’t take my laptop and phone and shut off the wifi. That’s something. I’m pretty sure its because he needs the internet to continue watching fox news, and that he’d rather have me fix the wifi than him going through the effort for cable tv.
@Laugher at Bigots, Mincing Betaboy
I’m the hot potato of the family, my mother and step parent say they’re for me, but I know that I will never change my personality to fit what they want. The other option is my aunts and a steady job, but at this point I’m not sure, I already have signed up for classes but now I’m not so sure what to do.
The only way I can see myself escaping anyone is the minute I fully understand accounting to the point where I can land a steady job as a white collar grunt. Then I can finally stop being a financial/emotional shame to everyone.
@Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
Thank you for the hugs.
@Headologist
/hugs
@kupo
Well it comes with the package of a traditionally asian family I guess.
@Bina
The infuriating part is that he DOES know alot of things. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, business, landlord, he know it and does not hesitate to flaunt that when he’s pissed. I can’t even give the answer of “I do not know how to deal with x problem so I’ll go look it up on the net so I can have an idea of what to do” and I just failed the argument and get a prize of him illustrating how I’d be the fool.
@Anarchonist
Thank you for the sentiments.
@occasional reader
To be fair for their fault or most likely mine I’ve been on a steady decline since middle school. If I focus on one thing another thing drops, and then I try to focus on that than another task drops, and so on.
@eli’s got a clean pair of heels
Thank you for that.
@Kat
The closest thing to therapy is several miles away with cars I can’t use since he has the keys. I’m used to having my spirit crushed. The songs in my head are silent and every second feels like an eternity. I’m nowhere near the scholar my other siblings are, so I understand why they act like that. I’ll still resist the best I can until the day I can finally live on my own.
@Kootiepatra
Your kindness is more than enough.
@EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)
Yay the Beta Orbiter Relay System. Watch out for the emasculation rays.
@opposablethumbs
When I can get enough skills/connections I’ll finally be able to move out, find a small studio, learn to cook, talk to people on my long walks and all sorts of things after a nice long day at work. That’ll be the day.
@Christina Nordlander, Emperor’s White Knight
It’ll be a while. As I am now I need to rely on the goodwill of my relatives to have a roof over my head.
@Lea
It’s okay, maybe when I’m more self reliant I can feel like I deserve better.
@Falconer
@Joekster
Honestly sometimes I feel like I do deserve it. I have naught the life experience and skills as all of you. Thank you for helping me believe that’s not the case and I don’t deserve it.
@Victorious Parasol
What a lovely cuddle pile.
@personalpest
When he goes on tangents regarding his father and his inquisitive nature as a child I keep thinking about his relationship with his other kin. His first son is a nonentity as far as everyone else is concerned. My sister wanted to live with him after what started out as a reprimand for keeping her room clean to a full blown argument I’d rather not speak of. I don’t know exactly what he says to her, but when we’re all together she seems to make an effort of keeping her distance.
@Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Thank you for that. It’s not something I hear that often.
@Jesalin
Thank you.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
I honestly have trouble believing that is true. I’ll try to believe that either way, thank you.
@Hambeast (fan of diversity)
At least you got a happy family. That reminds me of when my former roommate said I didn’t seem happy to talk to my mom, and all I can answer is “it’s weird?”
@Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut
Thank you PI.
@Ooglyboggles
More hugs to the pile. I do what I do with commentators that remind me of your dad because or experiences like yours.
@Scildfreja
How can an outsider support the mission of the BBB? While I am bitter I can’t say I’ve been categorized as a bitch.
I offer a potential mascot.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p8IKykVvNUs
Off-topic: Humanity has now reached Peak Headline.
I have had several Republicans online pose the question to me in the last week or so: “Well, would it feel OK to you if Hillary had won, and people were protesting that?” And it’s like…the last eight years…did you experience them…my God…WHAT?
@ ooglyboggles
Adding to the good wishes
I hope I’m not just rehashing the ‘youve got your whole life ahead of you cliché’ but in a way that is of course true. I really feel for you with all the crap you’re having to face. It can be particularly awful cos you’ve got that thing where to an extent there’s a dependency at the moment for practical stuff like a roof over your head and food. That can maybe add to the demoralising feeling and the pressure to succeed in the world.
As they say though ‘success is the best revenge’. That can be one hell of a motivator. But whilst it might not seem like it now, there’s no rush to set yourself up on any specific life path. You’ve probably not clocked up a quarter of your time on earth yet, and only a tiny fraction of your ‘grown up’ life. I hope you don’t succumb to any feelings that you have few or no options or that you’re not a pretty outstanding person. Maybe there’s a bit of dunning kruger going on here? You’re clearly a very bright person. Anyone who reads your posts will see that. But it can be hard to see it yourself when you’re constantly being belittled and, no offence intended, you don’t have the life experience to see how outstanding you are.
Nothing is permanent in life (except Brahma) as they say. Whatever path you choose now, you always have options to change later. So maybe just choose a temporary solution that gets you a bit of independence in the earliest possible timeframe? That’ll give you a bit of breathing space to consider what you might want to do with your life rather than having it dictated to you or feeling under pressure to live up to the expectations of others.
Anyway, just a few thoughts. Take them on board or discard them at your choosing. The whole point is of course that the only person you should be beholden to is yourself.
Considering how many women took “nasty woman” as a badge of honor (a LOT of “Nasty women” signs and T-shirts at the march), I’m pretty sure calling these women names will just make them be like “Okay, lol” and then use those names on their shirts at the next march.
None of these women give a shit about what Heartiste thinks, but he can continue to wank himself hoping they do.
Happy crosspaws to all.
That makes TOO MUCH SENSE. I was always such a disappointment to my father for not taking after him in his bigotry and actually having the gall to object to it.
@Oogly
Glad to hear from you.
One thing stood out to me, not addressed to me, but…
This is totally normal! I hate the word fault! You are just fine!
I’m still trying to learn this at my advancing age, I’m not berating you. It just makes me so sad that we punish ourselves so harshly and incessantly.
You are not declining, you are refining and growing, pruning away the parts that don’t suit you anymore.
I’ve gotta run, but someone post something adorable for me for Oogly!
I marched in London, I’m childless, so I suppose it’s up to me to tell some truths.
1) there were a lot of children on the march
2) that’s because we stole them
3) we bribed them with pink hats and amusing signs
4) the little ones, we just gave sugar
5) why didn’t the police and media report mass child abductions? Conspiracy!
6) we didn’t even return them afterwards
7) we took the little ones to our gingerbread houses and baked them in the oven
8) we are busy indoctrinating the older ones into our Bitter Bitch lifestyle (yes, even the boys)
For the avoidance of doubt, sarcasm occurs above.
I was there at the time and I can verify what Weatherwax said.
A Fingie pic! Pepper says hi.
http://i.imgur.com/sVZ2oMk.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/V98ovry.jpg
@EJ
No one here will report us to the authorities, will they?
@Ooglyboggles
Did you know that you can call Suicide Prevention even if you’re not suicidal? This might be helpful if you’re stressed.
And of course we’re always here.
My abusive father was the same way. He knew everything. His family knew nothing. Snort.
Best wishes.
@Weatherwax:
According to the MRAs, the authorities are all on our side. As such, even if we got reported, all we’d get would be a pat on the head and a lollypop.
The MRAs wouldn’t say such a thing if it wasn’t true, right?
Hi Pepper! Hi PoMcat!
true story…I really did bribe my son with sugar to go on the march and I had to threaten to revoke the bribe when he refused to wear a coat despite freezing temps
@Oogly
Dammit… <3
We seeeriously need to come up with that previously discussed alternative to dad/father. Cos a lot of us could use it…
Your… your… Asshole What Houses You can condescend all he wants about the million different trades he's learned. If he can't see that you're a decent, worthwhile person, he don't know jack shit
@Ooglyboggles
That’s quite some awful brain washing, yet you aren’t fooled. What kind of fucked up “man”(father) wants to break his child’s spirit?? I’m glad you found a sane corner of the internet here to get perspective. Your father has been outvoted by a landslide here. It’s not just your wit, it’s your humor, resilience, and wisdom for your age.
@Alan Robertshaw’s quote about life experience is very apt.
Fathers like that can be worse to sons who make them feel insecure about their alpha-hood. (Personal observation, no citation)
@Ooglyboggles
Somebody needs to go Brock Lesnar on your jerk of a father and F5 him through a table.
Kitties!
@PoM, is that precious the same precious that’s in your avatar?
@Oogly, I’m so sorry you have such a crap father.