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The Spinal Tap president: Trump tells ABC his crowd goes to eleven

This goes to eleven

If you haven’t seen ABC’s horrifyngly Spinal-Tappish interview with That Man in the White House yet, you need to go watch it.

At the very least, watch the final segment (embedded in the Tweet below), or even just the final minute of the final segment, in which Trump basically tries to explain that his inauguration crowd goes to eleven. (He also calls the crowd “the sea of love.”)

I’m not the first, or probably even the ten-thousandth, person to make the Spinal Tap comparison. In fact, one person has helpfully combined relevant bits of the interview with audio from Spinal Tap.

Here’s the whole thing, which manages to be scarier than any horror film I’ve seen in years.

If you need me, I’ll just be curled up in a fetal position on the floor.

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Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

“If there’s anything more important than me around here, I want it caught and shot, now.”

ryeash
ryeash
3 years ago

This is clearly fake news. You said That “Man” in the White House, but the National Park Service has already stated that the orange-haired mammal has not yet been identified:

https://twitter.com/AltNatParkSer/status/824339443385532418

FACT CHECKED!

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

It is utterly amazing just how much that man cannot tolerate even the slightest hint that he might not be the greatest at something. Apparently even a number of his advisors have been trying to tell him to just ignore it and move on, that his constant harping on the ‘fact’ is making him look more ridiculous, but Trump has never taken advice well.

Then, of course, there’s the fact that one of the photos he tweeted that ‘proved’ how big his crowds were had the wrong date on it.

(Other people have mentioned that one of the good things about the ‘pussy hats’ was they would make it next to impossible to use pictures of the much larger Women’s March to claim that was his own inauguration.)

One comment on another blog, commenting on Mary Tyler Moore’s recent passing, was noting just how much Trump was like the Ted Baxter character on the Mary Tyler Moore Show: shallow, petty, and desperate for vindication and adulation.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@Falconer:
Even Zaphod Beeblebrox was better suited to be President than Trump. (Though I think his line was ‘If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.’)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

I … I can’t watch it. I tried, I just can’t. I can’t watch him and his tight-sprung movements, I can’t listen to his self-aggrandizing drone. He’s a hideous person. I’d say he’s like a lizard, but I like lizards.

There’s some procrustean archetype that fills that hollow suit.
Some shade of former violence that lurks beneath the waves.
A subtle susurrus of hate, a jack inside the boot,
a thin and weedy whisper of a wind through stones of graves.

(i don’t like him)

JoeB
JoeB
3 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

You could go the Chuck Tingle route and call him a human suit filled with screaming void crabs

Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

I can’t watch. Every second just makes me more mad that I can’t just snap my fingers and make this all go away.

The Dead of Winter
Brings forth a bile filled globule,
Hating his betters.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

We need to keep getting under this man’s skin.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@kupo:
That doesn’t seem to take much.

Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@kupo
I never thought I’d see the day where the US needs to be saved by trolling a person out of office.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

@JoeB, but I like crabs!

http://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2418/1608492147_3d6a803a46_b.jpg

Just look at her! How could you not love that marvelous little mollusc?

dlouwe
dlouwe
3 years ago

@kupo

“Getting under his skin” does seem to be the most direct route to exposing him as a poorly disguised swarming mass of Void crabs.

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
3 years ago

My co-workers who voted for him are… speaking in hushed tones. “he’s really just like George Bush… Ronald Reagan… bush… ronald bushreagan he’s not really any “different”… he’s not really the howling screwball that the mainstreemeeedeeya paints him to be… he’ll get to making America Great soon… real soon… just wants to make sure… we all know he won… reeel soon now… ”

Semi-reliable reports tell of Faux News people being beside themselves over the “illegal voters” and “inauguration crowd size” obsessions.

Conway and Spicer both look like they’ve swallowed a corn cob. Up at dawn defending the Howler Monkey’s latest blather, then spend the day walking it back after someone asks them… “uh, really?”

@ Kupo;

We need to keep getting under this man’s skin.

OH, YES!!!!

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Jesalin
Haven’t had time to verify, but I heard a rumor it was a resign or be fired situation.

Edit: apologies if that’s in the article. I’m out of free views for the month.

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
3 years ago

Haven’t had time to verify, but I heard a rumor it was a resign or be fired situation.

For sure, it doesn’t MATTER if it was a “resign or get fired” situation, we know the cheeto will SAY they quit to avoid getting fired

JoeB
JoeB
3 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Crab Crabs >>>>>>>> The STI “Crabs” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Void Crabs

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!!) Eddie
3 years ago

On the lighter side, at least “W” can be sure history will NOT remember him as the worst president ever… His Cheetoness has taken that honor with less than a week on the job!!

ETA: in defense of crabs, i think “A human suit filled with a screaming void” works just as well

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

@Jenora, at least Zaphod was trying to accomplish something useful. And I think you’re right about the quote, which nowadays reminds me of Clara in “Deep Breath” — “Nothing’s more important than my ego!”

Bina
3 years ago

“Sea of Love”? Barf.

Here’s the REAL Sea of Love:

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
3 years ago

I caught myself thinking, “Maybe he really does care, even though he’s an ineffective idiot.”

But like, the way he pretended to be nice and stuff is EXACTLY what my grandmother did while she tried to get my dad arrested for shit he didn’t do. Narcissists are very two-faced and manipulative.

peep
peep
3 years ago

One hundred million to know what Obama’s letter said.

One hundred billion to know what went through his head when Trump asked him, “This is a little weird, isn’t it?”

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

*twitch*

What I would give for some driving abilities and a license right about now.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

I cannot watch that man. I just can’t. He makes my stomach hurt.

Laugher at Bigots, Mincing Betaboy

The less I see or hear of Donald of Orange, the better.

Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
3 years ago

@kupo
My understanding is that it’s standard for these officials to offer a resignation to each new administration, but it’s usually a formality. It’s not clear to me if Cheeto Hitler accepted the resignations or if they decided they meant it this time.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Laughter at Bigots, I used to call Boehner “John of Orange”, lol.

Man, I’d take him over Eddie Munster right about now…

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

*Slowly eats ice cream with an expression of bemused horror*

I just want you to know that if this bozo does end up blowing us sky high, that I love each and every one of you.

…Okay, not the trolls. But everybody else.

MillenniumCrow
MillenniumCrow
3 years ago

@kupo and Dalillama,

Based on the reporting I’ve seen, it was a leave or be fired situation. What makes this one unusual is the number and seniority of the resignations.

It’s the single biggest simultaneous departure of institutional memory that anyone can remember, and that’s incredibly difficult to replicate,” a chief of staff for former Secretary of State John Kerry, David Wade, told the Washington Post

This is disappointing but not too surprising given what we’ve seen from the administration so far. The real question is, assuming Tillerson is confirmed, who will he get to replace them? Hopefully the press is keeping an eye on this. All of the departing officials are highly experienced career foreign service officers. If the new Secretary of State tries to bring in outsiders or touts some sort of “let’s make the State Department run like a business” position, it’ll be a big neon warning sign. And by “big” I mean “visible from space.”

MillenniumCrow
MillenniumCrow
3 years ago

@kupo and Dalillama,

Based on the reporting I’ve seen, it was a leave or be fired situation. What makes this one unusual is the number and seniority of the resignations.

It’s the single biggest simultaneous departure of institutional memory that anyone can remember, and that’s incredibly difficult to replicate,” a chief of staff for former Secretary of State John Kerry, David Wade, told the Washington Post

This is disappointing but not too surprising given what we’ve seen from the administration so far. The real question is, assuming Tillerson is confirmed, who will he get to replace them? All of the departing officials are highly experienced career foreign service officers. If the new Secretary of State tries to bring in outsiders and takes some sort of “let’s make the State Department run like a business” position, it’ll be a big red flag.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
3 years ago

I’m sure Trump’s pal Vlad Putin will be able to help him find replacements.

I tried to tell people what a catastrophe Trump would be, it’s just happening much faster than I expected. It’s too bad that Hillary wasn’t flawless.

Vucodlak
Vucodlak
3 years ago

@ Scildfreja Unnýðnes

He’s a shoggoth. Some of them can take human form. All that “bigly” and “hugely” is his true nature bubbling just beneath the surface. We’ll hear the dread cry soon: Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
3 years ago

Huh.

Tillerson’s job No. 1 must be to find qualified and experienced career officials to manage the State Department’s vital offices. His second job should be to reach out to and reassure a State Department workforce that is panicked about what the Trump administration means for them.

Speaking as part of that State department workforce…good fucking luck to him?

Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
3 years ago

@ MillenniumCrow

. If the new Secretary of State tries to bring in outsiders and takes some sort of “let’s make the State Department run like a business” position, it’ll be a big red flag.

It’s already a big red flag.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Okaaaaay. We got to the point just before moving to health care …
… and I said No. I just can’t watch this.

So mrmagnificent is making us both a cup of tea and finding us some biccies (= US cookies) to munch. We’ll see if we’re up to it once we have some sustenance to fuel us.

(Who ever would have believed that it could be as bad or worse than we thought it would be before the election. One moment I think it’s an audition for a year 9 Drama class – all that portentous, pompous heavy breathing and ‘wise’ nodding and exaggerated pauses between phrases – and in the next moment I realise that this peculiar man is older than I am and has the most powerful job in the world.)

David will have plenty of shivering, thumb-sucking, quietly weeping company down there on the floor.

gijoel
gijoel
3 years ago

Can’t wait for him to get lost in the White house

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ weird eddie et al

For sure, it doesn’t MATTER if it was a “resign or get fired” situation, we know the cheeto will SAY they quit to avoid getting fired

I’ve just seen a headline decrying the media’s ‘fake news’ and stating that “‘Mass Resignation’ Officials Actually Fired”

And that’s from trusted news source Breitbart so you can take it to the bank.

Feminista Throwaway
Feminista Throwaway
3 years ago

One of the things I noticed when he was talking is that he has the same patter as Joe Pesci playing Leo Getz in Lethal Weapon 3.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Could be worse: he could be like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. Though I’d like to see someone tell him to go home and get his fucking shinebox.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Dalillama:

It’s already a big red flag.

The TrumpPence campaign logo could have been a big GOP-red flag. Just take the old USSR flag, replace hammer and sickle with a golden T and P respectively.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago
numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

I haven’t watched Spinal Tap, I’ve only read about it (I might have heard the “goes to 11” bit), but I saw a few seconds of the oval office conversation and had Spinal Tap in my head.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@Dalillama:

My understanding is that it’s standard for these officials to offer a resignation to each new administration, but it’s usually a formality.

Maybe, but from http://www.rawstory.com/2017/01/the-entire-senior-level-of-state-department-management-just-resigned-to-avoid-working-for-trump-report/

According to the Post’s sources, the action started shortly after Tillerson visited the State Department’s headquarters in Foggy Bottom on Wednesday, when the State Department’s long-serving undersecretary for management, Patrick Kennedy, resigned. The Post claims that the Trump administration had been looking to replace Kennedy.

Kennedy was only the start, however, as three other top State Department officials announced on Wednesday that they were following him out the door: Assistant Secretary of State for Administration Joyce Anne Barr, Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs Michele Bond and Ambassador Gentry O. Smith, director of the Office of Foreign Missions.

Barr, Bond and Smith have all served for years under both Republican and Democratic administrations.

Offering a resignation may be common (and it’s pretty much a guarantee for more political appointments) but in this case some of these people have been around for a long time, under multiple presidents. According to Wikipedia, Patrick Kennedy started working in the State Department in 1975, and has held relatively high-ranking positions like ‘Assistant Secretary of State for Administration’ and ‘Under Secretary of State for Management’ since 1993.

Hmm, apparently Kennedy chaired an investigation into Blackwater during the Iraq war, so maybe proposed Education Secretary DeVos insisted he leave out of family loyalty.

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

Personally I see one of two scenarios as being most likely. Either the senior staff quit, likely because they could sense the impending shit-show. Or, they submitted their resignations which is customary and is usually just a formality, and Trump took it as some kind of personal attack or insult and as a face-saving exercise declared that he told them to quit or be fired.

In any case the State Dept. is completely borked now. I wonder how many other gov’t departments are going to share a similar fate.

P.S

Sorry for being more of a drive-by cut n’ paster than an actual commenter, things are not going well and if I can’t either find some kind of equilibrium or access some good therapy, things won’t be going at all.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

Jesalin, I’m sorry things are not going well – I hope that this changes for the better (and that this place serves at least as a crumb of comfort in knowing that you, like us, are not alone).

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

<3 Jesalin. I hope that you can find what you need. It ain't easy. Don't be afraid to talk to us here if you need to and feel comfortable with it.

Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
3 years ago

@Jesalin
*hugs* or other gestures of support, and all my sympathy.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

Apparently showing off that photo by the helicopter has revealed that he actually had that image photshopped to make his hands look bigger.

Hilarious.

The rest of it is pretty terrifying.