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aggrieved entitlement entitled babies evil overpriced women evil sexy ladies irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny

Men Going Their Own Way go to the stock market, do a business

Young women manipulating the sexual stock market

CORRECTION: In the original version of this post, I misstated the number of children who comprise Vincent Adultman. It is three. I have corrected the mistake below.

Today’s weird and inappropriate MGTOW metaphor for women comes to us from the world of finance. Well, sort of.

In a post on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one of my favorite providers of inadvertent misogynist comedy, a fellow calling himself “enlightenedmgtow” informs the world that “women are like a hyped-up pennystock.”

How so, you ask?

Think about it: A pennystock is a company that’s usually bankrupt, where shares trend under a dollar. Say they hype up the company to increase the sale of that stock. This is the equivalent to a girl hitting her early 20s and going to the club with full blown makeup on. She get’s hyped up, her worth increases x4+. Her stock is suddenly worth $20. She hits the wall, and suddenly men realize the hype is false, and sell their asset. The poor white knight is like the guy who bought too much of the stock and is now stuck with a depreciating asset.

Ok, obviously that’s not how women work. It’s not even how stocks work. For one thing, stocks by definition aren’t by definition “depreciating assets.” Stocks can be hyped-up garbage, sure, and most penny stocks are, but people buy them because they think they’re going to go up. A depreciating asset is something that’s useful but that you know is going to drop in value as it gets old, wears out, and so forth. People, meanwhile, are neither stocks nor assets. Though some are certainly asses.

Enlightenedmgtow’s foray into finance makes me think of Vincent Adultman on Bojack Horseman, who peppers his conversation with completely clueless references to the world of business in an attempt to sound like an adult and keep people from figuring out what he really is, which is (spoiler alert!) three kids in a trenchcoat.

But it’s a bit unfair to compare MGTOWs to Vincent Adultman. For one thing, Vincent doesn’t spend his every waking moment stewing in his own bitterness. Aside from the whole deceiving-everyone-including-his-girlfriend-by-pretending-to-be-an-adult thing, he’s not really a bad fellow. Well, technically, three fellows, a trenchcoat, a hat, a mannequin hand, and a broom.

But I digress. Back in the MGTOW subreddit, the regulars are amused by enlightenedmgtow’s not-so-apt metaphor.

“[S]eriously,” someone called Ximkai writes,

women are just about the worst investment a man could make. Not only that, but they are a compound investment. It doesn’t just take money to “purchase stock” into any given female, it also requires time and attention.

Furthermore, it’s stock bought on credit. The longer you keep a woman THE MORE YOU HAVE TO INVEST IN HER. It’d be one thing if you just had to invest a couple grand and you’re given “stock” to hold onto until you sell. But that’s not how women work! You have to continue throwing assets at her from day one to day done.

All of this, and your returns are marginal at best. She may pack your work lunch for you, but you better accept it on bended knee with a “Thank you, M’lady”.

Ok, that’s not how relationships work. That’s not how investment works. That’s not how any of this works. 

A fellow called lonewolf-chicago, meanwhile, agrees that

Pennystock is a great metaphor. I know someone named Penny – and she’s a whore. A bad one. LOL

Well, I’m glad you’re able to amuse yourself, dude.

Somehow I suspect that MGTOWs would actually be perfect marks for con artists selling hyped-up penny stocks.

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Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
3 years ago

*sigh*… damn, guys, go out into the REAL world… meet some REAL women… on second thought, don’t….

Maximilián (they/them)
Maximilián (they/them)
3 years ago

I find MGTOWs endlessly amusing ,especially bc to my knowledge, marriage largely benefits men more than women, but they (and the other lowlifes that gather around these man movements) pretend that men are universaly the victims of it . Married….. with children was not a documentary you guys!

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

I’ll give you good odds that all those guys are into Bitcoin.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

When the closest thing they have to business self education is osmosis through sex rumors it’s no surprise they have no fucking idea about a literal marketplace.

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
3 years ago

I just replaced every instance of “woman” (mild props to them for not just going default “female”) with the word “dog” in my head as I read through the quotes, and I couldn’t help but imagine how many more people will be horrified by this kind of talk compared to them talking about women.

3letterjon
3letterjon
3 years ago

I wonder how the “depreciating asset” crowd thinks about buying clothing and cars. It must be awesome to hear them discuss the things they own.

Conan the Librarian
Conan the Librarian
3 years ago

Do these guys imagine that their own physical attractiveness does not “depreciate” over time?

Just as well that they are “going their own way”. Just a shame that they can’t seem to move on in their own minds.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

So you’re saying that the guys who think there’s a sexual marketplace turn out to have no idea about either sex or marketplaces??

http://pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1004_131963112147.gif

How many tortured metaphors are these guys going to make for “I think women are only good for sex”? That’s what it always boils down to, guys. Just say it. It’s okay. We all know it’s what you mean, you don’t need to hide it.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

She get’s hyped up, her worth increases x4+.

I was about to make a joke about “x4+” sounding like a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget, but it literally is a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget.

I’ll give you good odds that all those guys are into Bitcoin.

And goldbuggery. Always with the goldbuggery.

Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
3 years ago

women are just about the worst investment a man could make. Not only that, but they are a compound investment. It doesn’t just take money to “purchase stock” into any given female, it also requires time and attention.

Why can’t I literally buy a woman and own her? Life is so unfair.

Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
3 years ago

@SFHC

And goldbuggery. Always with the goldbuggery.

How they reconcile these two strains of economic charlatanism I still do not know.

Bina
3 years ago

Whenever one of these guys says they know women, or even just *a* woman, I’m like NOPE. Whether it’s their mom, or the most popular girl at school, or one of the strippers from the sports bar down the street, or some cam-girl they secretly aspire to seduce away from whoredom, or even just some famous feeeeemale they love to hate because she doesn’t even know they exist, I’m like NOPE. These guys know nothing of women. They know no women. They’ve literally never taken the time to do anything with them except hate them for insisting on not being objects, but PEOPLE.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

I was about to make a joke about “x4+” sounding like a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget, but it literally is a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget.

Now there’s a marketing team that knows how to speak to its market!

(I have no idea what this does. It’s much faster at it than previous models though.)

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

Dalilama:

How they reconcile these two strains of economic charlatanism I still do not know.

You’re making an unwarranted assumption there: that any reconciliation is required. The position is a reactionary one: central banking is corrupt *therefore* not-central-banking is the way. Any opposition is good.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It doesn’t just take money to “purchase stock” into any given female, it also requires time and attention.

I like how these guys are always shocked that a relationship involves spending time with your partner. It never once occurs to them that most people like spending time with their partners and that’s why they’re together in the first place. They really think every man only ever talks to his girlfriend or wife in order to get sex.

Pennystock is a great metaphor. I know someone named Penny – and she’s a whore. A bad one. LOL

By this he means he saw a few episodes of Big Bang Theory and thought Penny was a hypergamous slut. Because movies and TV shows created by men that have female characters who live up to gendered stereotypes are always hard evidence that feeeemaaaales are evil.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

I’m super-happy that these idiots have convinced themselves to stay away from women. It saves everyone time and hassle, and additionally saves women from being treated even more like commodities. Just … keep going your own way, MGTOWs! Keep going, and going, until you reach the very horizon, and don’t stop even then.

Leftwingfox
Leftwingfox
3 years ago

I’m assuming this guy doesn’t own any pets. Miserable freeloaders who cost more over time, I say! Sure, a kitten looks cute, but next thing you know, it’s shoving it’s assets into your face!

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
3 years ago

@WWTH: I like that too. It always seems to shock these assholes that not everyone thinks the same way they do. ‘Course, they try to spin it like they’re OBVIOUSLY the smart ones here, because it’s their thoughts they’re evaluating.

To be (slightly) fair to the miggies though, the way we present (cishet) relationships in media does trend towards “Men only want sex, Women only want money and a slave to take out the trash and nag endlessly!”, so it’s not too hard to see the starting point of this line of thinking. It’s the middle bits where their mental Hot Wheels jump all the tracks of logic.

Alex Stallwitz
Alex Stallwitz
3 years ago

I think these geniuses are mixing up short selling and shorting with regular stocks. I know more about stocks then these clowns do

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

Their self-centeredness never ceases to amaze me. Though it’s a diminishing return on the amazement.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

TIL putting on makeup is the equivalent of a pets.com reverse stock split.

(…And these guys, in hedge fund terms, are non-accredited investors, i.e. they don’t have the minimum assets to make their participation worthwhile, and the cost of allowing them in would far outweigh the benefits.)

But that’s not how women work! You have to continue throwing assets at her from day one to day done.

Ugh, I KNOW! What kind of messed-up world expects you to have ongoing human interactions? That’s too much effort! Too hard!

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

stock

*slaps forehead* Like livestock! Took me a while to get that one

The poor white knight is like the guy who bought too much of the stock

White knights are all poly? Cos they apparently buy too much stock, ie too many women. Huh. That’s a new one

you better accept it on bended knee with a “Thank you, M’lady”

Is this aversion to gratitude reserved for women, lunch, or is the format the problem? I’m sure you could negotiate on the kneeling if your knees are bad…

She get’s hyped up, her worth increases x4+. Her stock is suddenly worth $20

She was worth $5? But pennystocks trend under a dollar. That’s, minimum, a 20.2x increase. I mean, technically 20.2 is 4+. More likely this asshole just ain’t good at math

she’s a whore. A bad one

She’s a whore, and that’s bad?
Or she’s a whore and bad at it?
Or she’s a whore and very committed to her craft?
Hard to tell

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@wwth

Right? Seeing as MGTOWs believe a relationship = living with a woman who you have no interest in talking to or spending time with, but who wants to sometimes spend time with you and have social interactions, no fucking wonder they hate the idea of a relationship.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

I’ve always thought MGTOWs fall into one of two groups:

1) Had a relationship once and it didn’t work out, therefore women = bad.

2) Never had a relationship because imagines it wouldn’t work out because women = bad.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@Axe

Because of my arthritis, my wife no longer requires me to bend the knee when accepting my lunch bag. In return, I pretend as if I don’t know about her dealings with Chad. Win-win!

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Women = Stannis Baratheon

comment image

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago
Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
3 years ago

I’m sure you could negotiate on the kneeling if your knees are bad…

My partner bought me knee pads!!

(full disclosure, she bought them for me to use when replacing the roof shingles, but they make groveling sooooooo much less painful)

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

accept it on bended knee with a “Thank you, M’lady”

Someone saw that “Inside Amy Schumer” skit and thought it was seriously the way women want and expect to be treated.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

I have never groveled on my knees.

Clearly I’m doing it all wrong.

Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
Dalillama: Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles.
3 years ago

@IP

You forgot 3)Never had a relationship because no woman will touch them with a 10 foot pole, therefore women =bad.

Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
3 years ago

They sound like Cybermen with penises.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@Dalillama

I made a stupid typo in my comment. It’s supposed to read:

2) Never had a relationship but imagines it wouldn’t work out because women = bad.

So 3) is really a subset of 2).

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

It’s funny, every time that I see one of these MGTOW articles, I think to myself “I should be the ideal man having gone my own way.” After all, I’m single and have no plans for a relationship, devoting a lot of my time to creative pursuits like digital artistry and creative writing. So why aren’t dudes like me considered the gold standard?

Oh yeah… that whole “seething contempt for women” thing…..

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
3 years ago

I don’t know why, but the phrase “a girl hitting her early 20s” just feels so… off? Like, isn’t that just hitting 20s or is this the kind of case where it doesn’t start right at 20 but still at “early 20s”? Or how can “a girl” be hitting early 20s anyway? She has already been an adult woman for a few years, why is she suddenly a girl again?

Aleator
Aleator
3 years ago

Why do I seem to notice an extremely strong correlation between libertarians who repeat whatever their Austrian economics gurus tell them and MGTOWs? Is the ideology of rich-people-get-to-decide-everything very strongly correlated to the people with the most privilege in a society (i.e the white, very clearly straight men of that particular ideology)?

Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
Dalillama, Shepherd of Demonic Crocodiles
3 years ago

@Aleator
Yes, it is.

brian
brian
3 years ago

hey now! give Vincent proper credit! he’s THREE kids in a trench coat!

Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
Weird (resist trump today) Eddie
3 years ago

Is the ideology of rich-people-get-to-decide-everything very strongly correlated to the people with the most privilege in a society (i.e the white, very clearly straight men of that particular ideology)?

Rich is the king of the privilege hierarchy. It’s the golden rule, which says “whoever has the gold makes the rules”. In the west, at least, the rich usually ARE white men. There are 8 men who control more wealth than the poorest 3.9 billion people…. 7 of them are of european heritage, i.e. ‘white” men, the other is Mexican.

chiiillin
chiiillin
3 years ago

It’s so creepy how mad they are that women aren’t literal sex slaves they can keep in a cellar for decades.

Steampunked
Steampunked
3 years ago

You know, I don’t really enjoy beer at all. I live in a country where beer is God. Sometimes I mildly roll my eyes, but mostly, I just don’t drink beer. I don’t obsess over hating beer. I just don’t bother becausr I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.

Do they really have NOTHING else to do?

Podkayne Lives (Effortless Chicken)
Podkayne Lives (Effortless Chicken)
3 years ago

None of these people were ever read “The Velveteen Rabbit” as children, were they?

2-D Man
2-D Man
3 years ago

She’s a whore, and that’s bad?
Or she’s a whore and bad at it?
Or she’s a whore and very committed to her craft?
Hard to tell

Maybe she’s a whore who does bad things? Like how a criminal lawyer is clearly a lawyer who commits crimes…?

Dodom
Dodom
3 years ago

They don’t seem to understand the point of stocks.

You can buy stocks from, lets say, McDonald’s, but if you want a Big Mac you still have to pay for it.

So even if they could buy parts in a woman, they still wouldn’t be entitled to goods or services from her, regarding those they’d still be a customer like any other and have to deal by her conditions.

Vespertine
Vespertine
3 years ago

Did you guys see that Salon article about Mike Enoch getting doxxed?

BGHilton
3 years ago

World: Anything worthwhile takes time and effort.

MGTOWs: Not relationships, though?

World: Seriously? Especially relationships!

MGTOWs: …No, that doesn’t sound right.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
3 years ago

Also, what’s “full blown” makeup? Is there “half blown” makeup?

Kat
Kat
3 years ago

Hope I’m not duplicating anyone else’s effort. I had never heard of this guy before, but apparently he is (was) very popular among haters.

The alt-right eats its own: Neo-Nazi podcaster “Mike Enoch” quits after doxxers reveal his wife is Jewish

Bad day for the Fourth Reich: Founder of popular alt-right blog The Right Stuff resigns after foes expose him

http://www.salon.com/2017/01/16/cat-fight-on-the-alt-right-neo-nazi-podcaster-mike-enoch-quits-after-doxxers-reveal-his-wife-is-jewish/

Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
3 years ago

Yeah, I saw the Mike Enoch thing. I am unbelievably disturbed that the Jewish wife apparently knew about his little media empire, and even read white pride stuff on his show.

There’s a deep story here. I don’t know if I can stand to hear it, though.

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