CORRECTION: In the original version of this post, I misstated the number of children who comprise Vincent Adultman. It is three. I have corrected the mistake below.
Today’s weird and inappropriate MGTOW metaphor for women comes to us from the world of finance. Well, sort of.
In a post on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one of my favorite providers of inadvertent misogynist comedy, a fellow calling himself “enlightenedmgtow” informs the world that “women are like a hyped-up pennystock.”
How so, you ask?
Think about it: A pennystock is a company that’s usually bankrupt, where shares trend under a dollar. Say they hype up the company to increase the sale of that stock. This is the equivalent to a girl hitting her early 20s and going to the club with full blown makeup on. She get’s hyped up, her worth increases x4+. Her stock is suddenly worth $20. She hits the wall, and suddenly men realize the hype is false, and sell their asset. The poor white knight is like the guy who bought too much of the stock and is now stuck with a depreciating asset.
Ok, obviously that’s not how women work. It’s not even how stocks work. For one thing, stocks by definition aren’t by definition “depreciating assets.” Stocks can be hyped-up garbage, sure, and most penny stocks are, but people buy them because they think they’re going to go up. A depreciating asset is something that’s useful but that you know is going to drop in value as it gets old, wears out, and so forth. People, meanwhile, are neither stocks nor assets. Though some are certainly asses.
Enlightenedmgtow’s foray into finance makes me think of Vincent Adultman on Bojack Horseman, who peppers his conversation with completely clueless references to the world of business in an attempt to sound like an adult and keep people from figuring out what he really is, which is (spoiler alert!) three kids in a trenchcoat.
But it’s a bit unfair to compare MGTOWs to Vincent Adultman. For one thing, Vincent doesn’t spend his every waking moment stewing in his own bitterness. Aside from the whole deceiving-everyone-including-his-girlfriend-by-pretending-to-be-an-adult thing, he’s not really a bad fellow. Well, technically, three fellows, a trenchcoat, a hat, a mannequin hand, and a broom.
But I digress. Back in the MGTOW subreddit, the regulars are amused by enlightenedmgtow’s not-so-apt metaphor.
“[S]eriously,” someone called Ximkai writes,
women are just about the worst investment a man could make. Not only that, but they are a compound investment. It doesn’t just take money to “purchase stock” into any given female, it also requires time and attention.
Furthermore, it’s stock bought on credit. The longer you keep a woman THE MORE YOU HAVE TO INVEST IN HER. It’d be one thing if you just had to invest a couple grand and you’re given “stock” to hold onto until you sell. But that’s not how women work! You have to continue throwing assets at her from day one to day done.
All of this, and your returns are marginal at best. She may pack your work lunch for you, but you better accept it on bended knee with a “Thank you, M’lady”.
Ok, that’s not how relationships work. That’s not how investment works. That’s not how any of this works.
A fellow called lonewolf-chicago, meanwhile, agrees that
Pennystock is a great metaphor. I know someone named Penny – and she’s a whore. A bad one. LOL
Well, I’m glad you’re able to amuse yourself, dude.
Somehow I suspect that MGTOWs would actually be perfect marks for con artists selling hyped-up penny stocks.
*sigh*… damn, guys, go out into the REAL world… meet some REAL women… on second thought, don’t….
I find MGTOWs endlessly amusing ,especially bc to my knowledge, marriage largely benefits men more than women, but they (and the other lowlifes that gather around these man movements) pretend that men are universaly the victims of it . Married….. with children was not a documentary you guys!
I’ll give you good odds that all those guys are into Bitcoin.
When the closest thing they have to business self education is osmosis through sex rumors it’s no surprise they have no fucking idea about a literal marketplace.
I just replaced every instance of “woman” (mild props to them for not just going default “female”) with the word “dog” in my head as I read through the quotes, and I couldn’t help but imagine how many more people will be horrified by this kind of talk compared to them talking about women.
I wonder how the “depreciating asset” crowd thinks about buying clothing and cars. It must be awesome to hear them discuss the things they own.
Do these guys imagine that their own physical attractiveness does not “depreciate” over time?
Just as well that they are “going their own way”. Just a shame that they can’t seem to move on in their own minds.
So you’re saying that the guys who think there’s a sexual marketplace turn out to have no idea about either sex or marketplaces??
http://pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1004_131963112147.gif
How many tortured metaphors are these guys going to make for “I think women are only good for sex”? That’s what it always boils down to, guys. Just say it. It’s okay. We all know it’s what you mean, you don’t need to hide it.
I was about to make a joke about “x4+” sounding like a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget, but it literally is a fancy-but-pointless tech gadget.
And goldbuggery. Always with the goldbuggery.
Why can’t I literally buy a woman and own her? Life is so unfair.
@SFHC
How they reconcile these two strains of economic charlatanism I still do not know.
Whenever one of these guys says they know women, or even just *a* woman, I’m like NOPE. Whether it’s their mom, or the most popular girl at school, or one of the strippers from the sports bar down the street, or some cam-girl they secretly aspire to seduce away from whoredom, or even just some famous feeeeemale they love to hate because she doesn’t even know they exist, I’m like NOPE. These guys know nothing of women. They know no women. They’ve literally never taken the time to do anything with them except hate them for insisting on not being objects, but PEOPLE.
Now there’s a marketing team that knows how to speak to its market!
(I have no idea what this does. It’s much faster at it than previous models though.)
Dalilama:
You’re making an unwarranted assumption there: that any reconciliation is required. The position is a reactionary one: central banking is corrupt *therefore* not-central-banking is the way. Any opposition is good.
I like how these guys are always shocked that a relationship involves spending time with your partner. It never once occurs to them that most people like spending time with their partners and that’s why they’re together in the first place. They really think every man only ever talks to his girlfriend or wife in order to get sex.
By this he means he saw a few episodes of Big Bang Theory and thought Penny was a hypergamous slut. Because movies and TV shows created by men that have female characters who live up to gendered stereotypes are always hard evidence that feeeemaaaales are evil.
I’m super-happy that these idiots have convinced themselves to stay away from women. It saves everyone time and hassle, and additionally saves women from being treated even more like commodities. Just … keep going your own way, MGTOWs! Keep going, and going, until you reach the very horizon, and don’t stop even then.
I’m assuming this guy doesn’t own any pets. Miserable freeloaders who cost more over time, I say! Sure, a kitten looks cute, but next thing you know, it’s shoving it’s assets into your face!
@WWTH: I like that too. It always seems to shock these assholes that not everyone thinks the same way they do. ‘Course, they try to spin it like they’re OBVIOUSLY the smart ones here, because it’s their thoughts they’re evaluating.
To be (slightly) fair to the miggies though, the way we present (cishet) relationships in media does trend towards “Men only want sex, Women only want money and a slave to take out the trash and nag endlessly!”, so it’s not too hard to see the starting point of this line of thinking. It’s the middle bits where their mental Hot Wheels jump all the tracks of logic.
I think these geniuses are mixing up short selling and shorting with regular stocks. I know more about stocks then these clowns do
Their self-centeredness never ceases to amaze me. Though it’s a diminishing return on the amazement.
TIL putting on makeup is the equivalent of a pets.com reverse stock split.
(…And these guys, in hedge fund terms, are non-accredited investors, i.e. they don’t have the minimum assets to make their participation worthwhile, and the cost of allowing them in would far outweigh the benefits.)
Ugh, I KNOW! What kind of messed-up world expects you to have ongoing human interactions? That’s too much effort! Too hard!
*slaps forehead* Like livestock! Took me a while to get that one
White knights are all poly? Cos they apparently buy too much stock, ie too many women. Huh. That’s a new one
Is this aversion to gratitude reserved for women, lunch, or is the format the problem? I’m sure you could negotiate on the kneeling if your knees are bad…
She was worth $5? But pennystocks trend under a dollar. That’s, minimum, a 20.2x increase. I mean, technically 20.2 is 4+. More likely this asshole just ain’t good at math
She’s a whore, and that’s bad?
Or she’s a whore and bad at it?
Or she’s a whore and very committed to her craft?
Hard to tell
@wwth
Right? Seeing as MGTOWs believe a relationship = living with a woman who you have no interest in talking to or spending time with, but who wants to sometimes spend time with you and have social interactions, no fucking wonder they hate the idea of a relationship.
I’ve always thought MGTOWs fall into one of two groups:
1) Had a relationship once and it didn’t work out, therefore women = bad.
2) Never had a relationship because imagines it wouldn’t work out because women = bad.
@Axe
Because of my arthritis, my wife no longer requires me to bend the knee when accepting my lunch bag. In return, I pretend as if I don’t know about her dealings with Chad. Win-win!