Next week is going to be a busy one: Republicans are trying to push Trump’s terrible cabinet picks through the confirmation process in a big hurry, so we all are going to have to step up our calling/writing congress game.
But it’s Friday, so let’s take the night off and try to figure out why the dude in the spaceship in the pic up there is being assaulted by an army of space testicles.
(If you want to know the real story behind that cover art, there’s a scan of the whole magazine linked to here. But you all can probably come up with better explanations for the space testicle army.)
See more Resist Trump Today posts here.
@ Dalillama
I’m going to swoon now.
Shorter listicle:
Intuit my every whim and passing fancy. Indulge it.
Thanks, babe!
In the link, proud2exist says this:
No known surgery at this time?
Not even open-heart surgery? Or a heart transplant?
Dude, learn to troll.
Nothing stalkerish or creepy about that.
Nope, nothing at all.
Happy birthday, IP!
Re: lipstick: Um, usually women going to a formal thing wear makeup, and part of that is lipstick. WTF? (This is part of why I don’t go to formal things, too much hassle.)
Re: clovergender: go fuck yourselves, 4 chan and Schrkreli (I don’t care enough to spell his name right) and everyone else who decided this would be funny. Go fuck yourselves with a moldy cactus.
Yay!
“Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli Suspended From Twitter After Harassing A Teen Vogue Writer
“He’s an entitled creep and absolutely deserves to have his account suspended —perhaps indefinitely,” writer Lauren Duca said.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/davidmack/martin-shkreli-suspended-from-twitter?utm_term=.ocZg0joBPD#.qrmNgvopB3
And here I thought I couldn’t find Shkreli even more loathesome than I already did.
@LindsayIrene
You might want to check this guy’s site out. I found him when I was trying to find the rest of a particularly obscure murder ballad I saw mentioned in a reprint of a column from the 40s. I was unsuccessful.
@ Dalillama
I ordered his book.
@Kupo;
Yeah, I can really see it in the second one, in hindsight. I thought there was something off about it, but I was more focused on the text and didn’t analyze the feeling like I should have.
The first one is just a line by Ross O’Donovan from Game Grumps, and I don’t think the artist was trying to mock him. Most of the fan art of Ross looks similar, as that is his body type, and that is one of lines that he’s most famous for. I really can see what you’re saying though, since he’s a skinny guy wearing a pink shirt. Shoot.
Please have this picture of a cute kitten with marshmallows, on me. I’ll try to be more careful next time. http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22400000/Cute-Kitten-kittens-22438020-480-360.jpg
@Lord Pabu
It’s hard to tell where marshmallow leaves off and kitten begins.
Adorable!
@Lord Pabu
Yeah, no worries. On the first one I wouldn’t have noticed if not for the second one, but my interpretation was that the joke was that the kid pictured has no visible muscle tone. Maybe my interpretation was off.
That marshmallow kitten is either saying “No – you go on without me! You must finish the quest!”
Or…
oh, I lost it. I kept looking at the kitten’s little pink toes and my mind went blank.
The kitten is saying: “Shhh. You’ve said enough.”
Re : clovergender
Yeah it makes no sense. Idiots create a fake “gender identity” without understanding what gender is or means. Nothing new here. Besides, a move like that, intended to hurt trans and non-binary people by equating them to pedophiles ? Fuck that’s like, the millionth time, just quit it already.
I mean, seriously. I was about to go to sleep so, naturally, high off my face, but even then and without looking at the Snopes takedown itself I was like “YE GODS, LOOK AT ALL DAT STOOPID !”
Also, that “Proud2exist” person ? That 2 could as well be a reversed S and I’m pretty sure that was intentional. Pro-tip, shitlords : don’t leave a giant signature on your already fragile-as-fuck hoax.
The best part is how they be all like “hur hur hur it worked we totally trolled those SJWs”.
On the topic of testicles can I just be grossed out a bit at the way my lead seems to want to call attention to the fact that he had a vasectomy over the weekend? Like, just say you had minor surgery or something if someone asks why you’re walking slowly. No one needs to hear about your testicles. Repeatedly. And knowing him I’ll have to hear about his balls at least 3 more times today.
Update on lead testicles: when explaining it to the rest of the team, he just says he had minor surgery and doesn’t go into any detail. So on the plus side, I probably won’t have to hear about his testicles all day, but he might still refer to surgery pain knowing I’m the only one who knows what that means. On the minus side, wtf? Why am I singled out for this knowledge?
@Kupo
The answer that immediately occurs to me is that he wants you, specifically, to know about his boner status.
I was scrolling up and saw this comment first; I initially interpreted it as metallic lead, and wondered if this was some alternate constructions based on ‘brass balls’ or the like.
@Dali
Well, either that or he just likes me to do all his emotional labor for him. He likes to use me for free therapy because at one point we started to become friends and I don’t think he’s realized I don’t want him as a friend anymore (lots of reasons, but mainly his politics).
@kupo
How creepy is this guy normally? Could it be a mistake, or does he normally overshare with you?
@PoM
He’s not usually creepy, but he likes to talk a lot about himself and things that interest him. For example, last week he asked if I play Magic: The Gathering and even after I said I haven’t played in at least 15 years he still spent 20 minutes talking about it.
He talks a lot about parenting with me, including joking that it’s my “turn” to get pregnant (even though he knows I’m undecided), telling me I shouldn’t have kids (because if I’m undecided I’d be a horrible parent, am I right?), and how he’s not sure if it’s worth it to have kids (he has two, and whenever he says that I feel awful for them). I think he’s decided since I don’t have kids he needs to share all his experiences with me so I can be informed or something?
You can’t make this shit up. He just asked me what mansplaining means because he sees it a lot on the Internet (he asks me lots of questions about liberal politics), then, unprompted, mansplained to me about how not all the interactions I’ve had at this company where men condescended to me were because of my gender, and that some of it was because I’m less experienced. Like, he totally glossed over the part where I explained that it usually refers to when the woman actually knows more about the subject and decides to tell me what my experience has been. And I never said anything about thinking I’ve been mansplained to, he just immediately jumped into that after I gave him the definition.
Oh my gosh kupo, that sounds horrid. He’s pretty clearly decided that you’re going to be his emotional crutch. That’s no fun at all :C
@kupo: I’m sorry you had to go through that, that sounds exhausting.
@everyone who riffed on that awful listsicle, thank you! I enjoyed reading those, and knowing that I wasn’t the only person horrified by the idea that men and women are both monoliths that only need 10 short things to have the perfect relationship. Or how to be sexy without trying.
That idea has always creeped me out a little. As an example, I was gardening in my backyard last year and the guys in the house behind me were making kissing noises and calling out in a language I didn’t understand.
I’m gardening here. I *have* to bend over to friggin’ weed, and now I’m really conscious of how I do it, so I’m not directly showing them my butt. I sort of go into an awkward squat or just sit on the ground, now.
I was telling this story to a guy friend and was insisting “I’m just gardening!!!” and he was all “wellllllll” and i’m like “OH COME ON I’m covered in dirt and weeds, how is this sexy?”
Also my friend has never gardened with me again after that. Also there is no way to block their view and get privacy. Also they just sort of hang out at the window all the time, and smoke and talk on their phone…? Also apparently they bother one of my room mates far more than I, possibly because she’s a little less assertive and I yelled at them that I was going to call the cops while waving my phone around. Though I don’t know what I would say… :B
I JUST WANT TO WEED. I hate doing it so much, and they don’t make it any easier…(Think of all the home made salsa, and this year I’m going to make MARROW RUM!!!)