#ResistTrump today by resting up for the busy week to come. Also, space testicles.

@Scildfreja
When it RiNS, it pours

@IP

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I am celebrating my return to health with wine!

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@IP
It’s your birthday! Many happy returns!

@Kevin

Regarding that oafish ‘conqueror’ meme I suspect the word ‘men’ is being used in its English Common Law sense to mean ‘people,’ that is if the posting oaf is actually smart enough to know this.

I’m a copy editor and I deal with sexist language frequently.

It wasn’t that long ago that the “generic male” (e.g., such constructions as “the race of men”) was acceptable.

This is the problem: When you think of “men,” you think of males. Women (and other genders) are left out of this equation.

This guy (I’m pretty sure the writer is a guy!) is trying to have it all ways. He’s boasting about men (including himself) conquering the resource of women. And he’s attempting to inflate the numbers of men by calling them a race (which would of course include women, other genders, and children).

If I were this guy’s editor, there would be a lot of red marks all over this sexist, illogical writing.

Fuzzy thinking: Sexists always engage in it.

@LindsayIrene
That indomitable city squirrel is adorable!

Happy birthday, and many happy returns IP!

@RiNS

I love how the first thing you do is whine about safe spaces while not understanding what they are.

Especially when you then go on to whine about the comments policy.

Hey, don’t feel bad, all of your other neo-nazi buddies fail exactly the same. The so-called edgelords are a bunch of predictable, pathetic jerks, nothing new here.

Move along and come back when you’ve got something to provide, like at the very least some novelty or entertainment value.

Off topic but ugh: 13 Little Things You Do That Are So Sexy (According to Men)

“When you make us feel useful – Just let us show that we’re strong and open the pickle jar.”

Look, I ask for help. I’m not in a relationship, but if I can’t open a jar (that can of barge cement that was cemented together springs to mind) I will ask one of my friends who are far stronger than I. But I am not doing it to ‘make him feel useful’. I will always try first, because I can actually open most jars. And if I can’t, I have a jar grip thing.

My point is that I don’t want to throw someone some pity ‘oh, poor dear, he needs to feel manly, here’s a jar’. I think it’s important to recognise that no one is continually useful, and that needing to feel useful can be frustrating to the person you’re snatching a jar away from. Because they could probably do it themselves.

Also that manliness doesn’t necessarily come from showing you’re strong, and a protector, etc.

12. When you genuinely get along with the folks

You’re supposed to like the in-laws, but do you really? Even if you don’t love them, any effort you put in with our folks is a turn-on for any man. Mom carries a lot of weight in men’s relationships (like Dad does in yours), so any effort will ultimately be rewarded.

Whether you help them out by chopping vegetables before dinner, set the table, or merely visit them without us is so incredibly attractive because you’re making an effort with us, but more importantly, with two of the most influential people in our lives.

I just… Why do you assume which parent someone is closest to is defined by gender? Also, why are you forcing the woman to do kitchen-related things? Are you helping with this? Or are you in the other room, socialising with the rest of the family? Why isn’t that socialising rewarded in a similar fashion, as i assume dad is out there with everyone else? Why aren’t you helping as well, if this is so important?

I just hate that whenever we have a party, the women in the group will automatically start neatening up, while the men just stand around looking blank. Like “Oh, I want to help, but how????”

I need to stop clicking these lists.

OH RIGHT I forgot the first one: be passionate about something. Thank you for taking something completely unrelated that I am passionate about and relate it to how sexy I am. Perhaps I just want to be seen as a person who loves idunno… Woodworking? Why does it have to be sexy?

Edit window ran out, sorry about double posting, but happy birthday IP!

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Rhuu,

Ooh, a list to snark at! I can already tell it might as well be titled “women should live up to feminine gender norms or it’ll make my boner sad.”

Women are incredibly beautiful beings. Everything from your shape to your form and the way you carry yourselves — guys appreciate all of it.

Not even into the list and it’s already gross. Beings? WTF does that mean? We’re not seperate species from men. Really. We’re not! Are we supposed to be flattered that men so often see as beautiful decorations floating through their space?

1. WHEN YOU HAVE A PASSION FOR SOMETHING

I’m guessing it should be a proper female interest though, right? Yep. There’s a picture of a woman cooking and he talks about his girlfriend being vegan and eating a plateful of vegetables (no fatties!) while he “mows down a gourmet burger” but don’t worry she still loves to bake!

I’m not mocking being a vegan at all so I hope it doesn’t come off that way. This just fit my prediction that the interests would be suitably dainty and feminine and not threatening to any fragile manhoods is all.

2. WHEN YOU’RE DECISIVE

That ones actually not bad. But it does unfortunately fail to acknowledge that women are socialized from birth to be accommodating, particularly to men. That can make it hard for some women to be decisive. Especially in the early stages of dating when people tend to be in best behavior mode.

3. WHEN YOU GET ALONG WITH OUR FRIENDS

That’s always good. But it’s pretty insulting to refer to someone who doesn’t like parties as “a human bracelet.” Being an introvert isn’t the same as having no personality. I hate that assumption. It’s cool if the author is an extrovert and would prefer a partner who is too, but that doesn’t mean all men feel the same and it doesn’t mean a woman is a boring bitch if she’s not comfortable being left in a room full of his friends and their dates.

4. WHEN YOU TOUCH US

We love your touch, especially when said touch is an indication of protection.

Yep. Here it is. We must cater to masculinity so fragile by acting all weak.

Whether you grip our arm and take note of our bicep,

Could you get any more cliche? That’s just sad.

5. WHEN YOU MAKE US FEEL USEFUL

This is the pickle jar one that Rhuu already covered. Cracks me up. If you need to open a jar to feel sufficiently manly, that’s your issue. Don’t put it on women to pretend like they can’t open jars so that you can feel better about yourself.

My jar opening trick is putting on a leather glove. You get a lot better grip on the lid that way.

6. WHEN YOU KNOW DIRTY RAP LYRICS

My girlfriend just recently became a huge fan of Drake, and I love this.

Let me guess.

I’m finding it hilarious that knowing the songs of Jimmy from Degrassi TNG is considered edgy and dirty now.

Not knocking being a Drake fan but he’s one of the biggest music stars right now. It’s nothing all special and edgy to know his songs.

7. WHEN YOU WEAR OUR CLOTHES

Oh look. Another cliche. Again, nothing wrong with finding this sexy but the accompanying paragraph is just…

When you wear our clothes — which tend to be oversize in the best of ways, draping subtly off your shoulders and hanging a few inches above your knees — it’s intensely attractive.

You must be tiny or else it’s boner sad time, basically. Maybe it’s not meant for this to be insulting to women who are either tall or not-thin, but it really kind of is.

The fact that you opt for our clothes over your own is as good as a signed contract of your love.

Wat. It’s very possible, even probable that I do sexy all wrong, but usually when I’ve borrowed clothes from a guy it’s because I didn’t bring pajamas to his place and needed a t shirt to sleep in. Not to look dainty in a big shirt or show that I’m now a possession. It was a matter of practicality and any sexiness was incidental. What is it with this guy and his obsessive need to seem like an alpha male? And why is this something women should all give a rat’s ass about?

8. WHEN YOU INITIATE ANYTHING SEXUAL

Nothing wrong with this at all. But it does contradict all the earlier stuff about how men need to feel all manly and dominant. Apparently women are supposed to know psychically when we’re supposed to be weak and fragile to soothe male egos and when we’re supposed to take charge to prove we’re cool girls and not like all those boring arm candy girls.

I’m exhausted just reading this list. Can you imagine dating this guy?

9. WHEN YOU APPRECIATE THINGS WE’VE DONE

Uh yeah, saying thank you when someone does something nice for you is just basic human decency. It’s a little disturbing that he thinks this is a big deal. Like, is he trying to say that he only shows appreciation for things once in a while?

10. WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE JUST BECAUSE WE DO

Since he does say this one should be reciprocal, it’s not bad as long as we’re talking activities one is unenthusiastic about, not things that make one uncomfortable or afraid. But the stock photo that accompanies it is hilarious. It’s a woman doing push ups with a man leaning over and watching. It looks like it’s supposed to be an athlete coach depiction, not a couple’s activity.

11. WHEN YOU WEAR LIPSTICK

Again, this one’s not offensive or anything but the writing is hilariously bad.

I don’t know what it is about the stuff. It captures a classic beauty that I’ve appreciated in women since I was a child. And with me at least, the more bizarre the color, the better. A bold choice in lipstick shows both a confidence and an edginess that I’ve been known to admire in the fairer sex.

Which is that you like? Classic beauty? Or unusual bold and edgy beauty. They’re not the same thing. And fairer sex? Barf.

12. WHEN YOU GENUINELY GET ALONG WITH THE FOLKS

Rhuu already covered one of the silly things about this one. I just also want to note that it’s assuming functional, nice families here. If your parents are assholes, it’s not really fair to expect your partner to go above and beyond to be best friends with them.

13. WHEN THE DOG LOVES YOU

Because real men have dogs and cool girls love dogs amirite? Couldn’t he have just said pet instead of dog here? I’m all for wanting a partner who’s nice to the pets but I hate this implication that guys must love dogs over other species of pet and women probably don’t naturally love dogs but must fake it to impress men.

I’m sure this got a little tl;dr. Sorry. I just always find those gender essentialist “what men/women want” lists to be so mockable.

Maybe I was a little hard on the guy who made this list, but seriously. If you’re feeling insecure about your masculinity, how about talk to your partner about it instead of expecting her to pretend like she’s too weak to open a jar? It’s understandable to have anxiety over not fitting into society’s gender norms. But expecting women to coo over your biceps is really not going to fix it. Also, who wants to bet he’s the type of guy who gets annoyed when a woman worries that she looks fat because if men are insecure it’s up to women to fix it, but if women are insecure, it’s up to us to fix it ourselves or hide it.