Friday Night No-Trump Dance Party: Open thread for not talking about Trump

Not much to say really. I hope everyone has a happy holiday, and that 2017 will be better. Sweet dreams, all.

Happy Hogswatch season everyone. I’m working tomorrow, and spending the following day in bed with a book and a bottle of wine. I got a new job, and as of Tuesday have no days off. which is gonna be fun.

Hey. Haven’t been around much since the election.

Not much to talk about, been making cookies for Cookiemas (that’s what I say it is).

If anyone here has ever struggled with that thought about how you’re fated to be foreveralone because of your bad feature X and conquered it, please share your wisdom. I just got dumped, and it’s something I have to work through every time this happens. Unfortunately, I’m remarkably good at finding holes in comforting thoughts, and I have a long history full of evidence that my chronic depression will indeed ruin every relationship I get into, so I haven’t found an antidote yet.

@ ryeash
I got nothing for you except good wishes. And maybe I can help you feel a bit less weird since there’s two of us now turning this into an advice forum. <:

Oh dear. My mum’s in hospital and won’t be out for Xmas Day.

She’s got something-or-other wrong with her blood.(Don’t forget she’s over 90.) They’ve been giving her blood thinners – not warfarin – and it seems to be working too well. She stopped it over a week ago when she had some little nosebleeds, but not good enough. More bleeding elsewhere.

So she had an infusion of platelets yesterday(?) and is having regular transfusions each night. The platelet business was only available after the DVA (Vets administration people) gave explicit approval for this apparently super expensive procedure.

She might even have to stay until after NYE. Basically 2 or 3 blood tests a day until everything is a) normal, and b) has stayed that way for a set period of time. Fortunately, she doesn’t actually feel ill, though I suspect she’ll be complaining of pincushion syndrome before long. Too many tests. But it means she’s happy with visitors and, joy of joys, my daughter and SIL took the baby great-granddaughter to see her this afternoon while I was on the phone with her. Pleased as punch.

That’s one less at the table tomorrow, but everyone will be taking pics of the bub for the whole day. So she won’t have missed much.

I hate Xmas. All it is to me is forced religion, forced gender roles, abuse, fighting, stress, being broke, a ton of cleaning and cooking and work, annoying songs on loop, angry customers, crowd anxiety, lines lines lines lines, and my shitty family fighting some more. bah fucking humbug.
eta all while being required to smile

All the best wishes I can possibly muster, to those gritting their teeth and keeping their heads down as best they can this weekend (and to those enjoying a good one too 🙂 ). Virtual {{{hugs}}} if anyone wants one!

And thank you all for being here.

Apparently the flu a few weeks ago wasn’t enough, now I gotta deal with a stupid cold. That’s already bad on its own, but my well-being and ability to sleep kinda depend on my lungs functionning properly. A blocked nose is one thing, but whatever the hell is going on in my throat fucked up my intake last night and I couldn’t sleep well at all. So of course I’ve been cranky all morning, and I can’t even smoke one to calm myself down : I tried, actually, and that was just more wasted stuff.

Can’t have a normal life without stuff that’s both illegal and expensive enough that I don’t get to buy anything else for myself. And now my own body is going “fuck that” and refusing to even let it work. Because of a damn cold. It’s just ridiculous.

Okay, done ranting.

@Everyone

Have a very merry. I’m sending you all of the love and hugs and best wishes, and I’d also send my chocolates if I could. Take care of yourselves as best you can and retreat here if the family gatherings get conflictual, or if you’re spending the holiday alone.

@ryeash

I’m sorry, I’ve done like zero work on that, for reasons in part stated above. I’ve been collecting some of the data that’s needed, but that’s about it. Turns out that my ability to write anything structured has actually gotten worse since high school, and that alone is quite the feat considering that it was already bad enough to be the whole reason I failed to graduate in the first place.

I’ll… try and get something done.

@dust bunny

I don’t have an answer, because I’m pretty much the same. I’m sorry you feel that way. For what little it’s worth, I hope it gets better eventually.

Now, I’ve been told by people on here that it doesn’t change anything to who I am, so I wanna relay that too. Depression doesn’t actually make us any worse as people, no matter how strongly we feel that way.

And maybe I can help you feel a bit less weird since there’s two of us now turning this into an advice forum. <:

And don’t worry about that. Look closely enough and you’ll have a hard time finding anyone here who hasn’t done that, heh. It’s certainly not a bad thing either.

It’s a hard time of year for many of us, and this has been a hard year for many of us. I feel it too. At its best, the holiday offers hope for better times. You don’t have to be into the Christian significance of Christmas to appreciate that, because remember, it’s originally a pagan holiday and although the theology is different the underlying message is pretty similar.

My condoleances, @ worried hobbit, may 2017 truly be better.

@ dustbunny. I’ve suffered from depression and as an autistic person also struggled with relationships. When your depression keeps telling you you’re unlovable anyway it certainly doesn’t help. The only thing I can suggest is that you remind yourself that this is that is happening – it’s hard to get over this, especially when you have depression, so it’s ok to mourn, just remember the voice telling you you’re not worthy has its own agenda so take what it says with a grain of salt 🙂

@kupo haven’t looked at the video but folks have been sharing. Since I’m an autistic singer -songwriter I don’t get the “novelty value” of people like me having musical talent.

@Worried Hobbit – My condolences about your father. And it’s hard to feel good about birthdays when they’re surrounded by so much horrible stuff – I hope you have more to be happy about next time.

@mildlymagnificent – Hope your mother continues to do better.

I’m doing pretty well right now. For the first time in my life, I have my own phone! Plus, since I work in an education service, I have two weeks off for the holidays (except for some proofreading and beading, but I consider the beading more fun than work). My cousin is coming for Christmas tomorrow and she’s bringing her dog, which I haven’t seen for a couple months, so I’m excited.

With my parents, the holiday deal is to open presents after lunch with family, and then have a big dinner, possibly with other guests. My parents invited a neighbour who might monopolize conversations and make my cousin bored, but I don’t foresee any serious conflicts.

@dust bunny

Thanks for the solidarity, and all of the hugs if you want them. I’ve been there. Still am pretty often, even after close to four years of a really solid relationship. I’m sure you already know that it’s the depression talking, but I’ll go ahead and remind you that it’s the asshole depression talking. The person who will fit best in your life will be understanding about what you’re going through–or at least willing to try to be so. You need people around you who will support you more than you just need people around you. An illness isn’t a personal failing, and no one should be making you feel that way.

@Sinkable John

You are all good, I was making sure I didn’t just disappear in the middle of a conversation. I can definitely relate to losing the ability to structure my writing. I graduated high school, but I was homeless off and on soon after and didn’t make it very far through college. Can definitely also relate to everything you said about smoking. I tried to quit for awhile to save money and get clean for a job that hair tests, but I was violently reminded why that’s a bad idea by about a month and a half of nightmares and panic attacks several times a week. I don’t dream except for the occasional breakthrough one when I smoke, you see. I was finally so desperate for a full night of sleep that I just went back to smoking and gave up on the idea of what little factory work still exists around here. Fucking vicious cycles, man.

@ ryeash, I hope that Santa brings you and yours some work for Christmas. I can’t give you any direct leads, but I’m good at rambling, so maybe I can at least help you get a different perspective on what he could do.

When I think “Historian”, I think “storyteller”. That’s really what being a historian is, it’s about understanding the story of the past and (sometimes) communicating it. It’s a tough job, because while it requires a lot of work and research and knowledge to be a historian, most people don’t really respect it because it doesn’t produce anything. At the same time? We all love stories. A deep understanding of history is worth its weight in gold, and can certainly be spun into profit with some creativity.

My suggestion is that he start writing news articles or a blog, connecting current events to historical moments. Build up a portfolio of writing and try to get some freelance journalism work. That’s the sort of thing that you can do from home and sell anywhere. My cousin did this and, after a long struggle, managed to land himself a good job with a pension and benefits and the whole thing.

It’s certainly a crap shoot, but it’s something that can be done while still job hunting and it actually involves the thing he’s interested in and passionate about (I assume!). Suggest that he spends an hour a day on it – just one hour, which shouldn’t be too bad if he isn’t working and doesn’t have responsibilities beyond getting work. Encourage him to make them polished and to publish them somewhere. Heck, encourage him to start writing comments here to warm up, if you want – he can provide historical insights into things David comments about. Anything to get some inertia going.

I really hope things work out for you guys. My suggestion’s certainly pie-in-the-sky, but if I didn’t believe in sky-pie I wouldn’t be a researcher of artificial intelligence today – I’d be a slowly dissolving phone jockey in a warehouse somewhere.

You can do the thing! Go get your sky-pie, it’s delicious.

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