Do you like riddles? I do. Here’s my favorite:
What goes around a button?
You might think the answer is “a buttonhole.” But you would be WRONG!
Well, technically, you would be right, but the correct answer to this riddle is “a goat.”
Because goats go around a-buttin.’ You know, like butting things.
Ok, that joke only works when you say it out loud, and it’s a bit of an open question as to whether it works at all. It’s from a very old and very bad book of jokes and riddles I encountered as a child.
Look, I didn’t say I liked GOOD riddles. I sort of prefer the terrible ones.
And I’m in luck! A few days ago a drive-by commenter left a giant angry dump of a comment in response to one of my posts from way back in 2011. I didn’t let the comment through moderation, but it contained a riddle, of sorts, that I would like to share with you all.
What “is similar to a man wearing small tight thongs and having an erection?”
Set aside the issue of why this fellow is wearing more than one thong, and see what you can come up with.
A banana in a bikini?
A sausage in a small hammock?
A roll of quarters in a diaper?
I’m running out of ideas here.
One of those long balloons that they make balloon animals out of, inside a bag that’s too small for it?
Nope!
The answer is: “Women wearing provocative clothes.”
Let’s let Jon explain it:
Women wearing provocative clothes is similar to a man wearing small tight thongs and having an erection. HOw would you feel men hanging out like that? WOuld you invite them to meet your wife/daughter?
First of all, I don’t have a “wife/daughter.” And I am troubled by Jon’s assumption that I am anti-thong, when it comes to men. I’m not. Dude thongs are fine, in moderation. I’m wearing one right now. I require visitors to put on thongs before entering my apartment. I put them on my cats, when I can catch them.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED READERS: I’m not really wearing a thong. I don’t actually require visitors to put on thongs before entering my apartment. I don’t put them on my cats. I was making some little jokes. That said, I don’t really care if guys wear thongs to the beach, though they should really cover up (and try to think of very unsexy things) if they get erections. As should anyone who gets an erection in public.
In the post that Jon is responding to, I took issue with a fellow who suggested that women who “dress … provocatively and leav[e] a man in an unfinished state of excitement” are essentially assaulting men. Things that this fellow regarded as “provocative” included jeans, high heels, exposed hair. Some of his other arguments were even more, er, provocative.
But let’s get back to Jon, who had many further thoughts and theories he wanted to share with me and my readers, most of which involved explaining how totally wrong he thinks I am, and most of which have nothing to do with my post.
Here are his thoughts on non-verbal communication,
Most human communication is non verbal. For example, if I wink at your wife, are you ok with that? I am just winking right? No David (author) don’t be judgmental! Well that’s called “hitting a girl!”. So provocative outfits create the same sense as sexual organs on a man’s face. It sends non verbal sexual messages.
Er, sexual organs on a man’s face? How exactly did we get from winking to sexual organs on a man’s face?
Women are not a minority – they form 51% of the population and are a MAJORITY.
Thanks for the tip!
Women failures in mathematics, sciences, sports, jobs are not a man’s fault.
How about grammatical errors made by men? Whose fault are they?
In fact most men are not anti-female. At the very least they usually love their mothers, grand mothers, daughters and maybe wives.
‘Maybe wives?” I’m sensing some bitterness here.
Women have failed in these areas as they are just not good enough and lack that white matter in brain that is created by 20,000 evolution and male testosterone. These are biological facts.
Would any biologists care to comment on these, er, facts?
Women do better than men in fields that require caring and nurturing such as certain medical fields (nursing, gynecology), giving birth to babies and raising them.
I will concede that having a uterus does give someone a bit of an advantage when it comes to giving birth to babies.
That said, I am not suggesting preventing women from pursuing their dreams but dont expect 50% of Einsteins and newtons to be women. In fact there has never been a great female scientist of the rank of newton, gauss, euler etc. All major scientific inventions (even minor ones actually) are all male.
WE INVENTED THE MAMMOTH TO FEED YOU.
Nature has designed the human female body to carry babies and be sexually attractive to a man. If this was not the case, human species would not have made it this far. It is the very reason that men have hair on their faces and a muscular body. Its called evolution and you cant (and there is no need to) challenge 20,000 years of human evolution.
Men have hair on their faces so … women can be sexy to them?
I’m thinking Jon might have mixed up some of his notes from Biology 101.
But speaking of sexy, let me just end this post with a dude in what appears to be a Speedo or Speedo equivalent.
I don’t know why, biologically speaking, he’s holding a nailgun, but then again I wasn’t paying careful attention in Biology 101 either.
Also it kind of looks like someone else’s face has been photoshopped over the original Speeo-wearer’s face. I have no idea why. Let’s just call that another riddle.
Since the troll is here to stay and isn’t saying anything of note, I propose we disprove his theory that no one finds men’s bodies sexy by posting sexy man pics. That sometimes drives them away.
I’ll kick things off with an Alexander Skarsgard. He’s one of my favorites.
http://static.socialitelife.com/uploads/2014/08/25/shirtless-alexander-skarsgard-600×450.jpg
I still want to know what the correct rape protection outfit for women to wear would be though. Misogynists never do explain that.
HAH HAH HAH there is no quicker way to out yourself as someone who isn’t reading these studies than quoting the abstract. Did you use abstracts in your PhD thesis, too? Did you get your PhD from the University of Wikipedia, about the only institution that would accept such sloppy research?
From that first study:
LOL Then Rapey McRaperson actually quote that nonsense as supporting his point. It jumps from Point A to Point R with nothing in between.
dr. ej: there are a lot of women these days that get diploams and jobs these days. Now try and make a mathematical discovery. Do you see a woman’s name on any major theorem or mathematical result?
Newton was not a woman you know. Do you have a sally to match Newton?
What about the data made them infer that? You didn’t even provide a link to this or any of the other studies and I can already tell that this one doesn’t say what you claim it does.
The point is to tell you that your opinion is not generally accepted by these so called social scientists either. A large % of women disagree with you also.
A lie seldom wins and stands the test of time. Rubbish remains rubbish. You cant change mother nature and facts about women.
@Jon
Looks like I missed some ‘rebuttals’ (if you can even call them that, maybe this is all some elaborate neg)
Hey look, your arguments are so bad you’re contradicting yourself.
Uh, educating people on rape, discrimination is accomplishing something. It’s the same kind of thing that got women the right to vote. Being quiet and not talking about problems in our society (shockingly) doesn’t solve problems in our society.
Besides, the fact that it upsets misogynists like yourself is clear proof that we’re doing something. That’s why you’re trying to insist that men are somehow ‘better’ than women: you have zero redeeming qualities so the only thing you have to be proud of is your gender and you’re sad that we’re taking that away.
But cry all you want, it’s true. Men and women are equal. You have no advantage over women. The vast majority of women will contribute far more to our society than you ever will, and some of them might even decide to make babies!
And how is anyone here ‘harassing’ you?
You’re saying that a woman wearing less clothes is ‘asking for it’, and comparing it to a bill sticking out of someone’s pockets. Still comparing women to money!
Also, I provided 3 reasons for why your example fails. You only responded to 1, so I presume you have no rebuttal for the other two
So you show up here, spout BS, don’t respond to people’s actual points (the rest of my post, for example) and somehow we’re the not logical ones?
Sexy man time? I’m down with that.
Jason Momoa
Willy Cartier
http://www.newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/willy-cartier-nsmbl-8.jpg
I can’t remember this model’s name. I think he’s Polish.
http://www.mens-hairstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Guys-with-Red-Long-Hair.jpg
David Chiang
http://www.lizbellagency.com/content/909/IMG_1028_1070x1320.jpg
Sorry for doublepost, it’s hard to keep up with this level of bullshit.
Actually, stereotypes about women exist despite ‘nature’. Also, your assertion has already been disproven:
http://www.doctorbrunner.com/groundbreaking-study-finds-boys-are-not-naturally-better-than-girls-at-math-but-your-daughter-may-be-more-anxious-about-math/
Ignore it all you want, you can’t change mother nature and facts about human beings 🙂
EDIT: Video game characters count? Cause FFXV’s Gladio is a sexy beast:
http://66.media.tumblr.com/dc78d08a04b9301e7a0665c716fb8328/tumblr_nmmamxy0Yz1rnskvzo2_1280.png
I’m tempted to post some photos of women in suits just to push back against the idea that ‘scantily clad’ and ‘sexy’ are synonymous for women.
Moocow: so show me women that invented calculus or something. Why dont you just make it simple for me?
Already did in my last post, try reading it next time:
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=famous+female+mathematicians+and+their+contributions
I mean fuck, I even googled it for you. Doesn’t get easier than that.
Still waiting for you to acknowledge that women are equal to men in math skills since you’re so rational and scientific
http://www.doctorbrunner.com/groundbreaking-study-finds-boys-are-not-naturally-better-than-girls-at-math-but-your-daughter-may-be-more-anxious-about-math/
Why don’t you quote something from INSIDE those articles?
I just love it when a man tries to tell me about my sex drive, what I desire and how strongly I feel attraction.
…and by “love”, I mean, “find fucking hilarious”.
Oh Jon, just because women don’t lust heartily after you, does not mean we don’t feel the urge to fuck people we find attractive so keenly you’d hide under your blankies if you knew the truth.
But even if sexy clothes did cause men to want to rape the women wearing said clothes, that still doesn’t make it the rapist’s fault. If someone can’t stop themselves from raping someone they find sexy, they’re the ones who should be denied freedom, not their potential victims.
As Golda Meier said when asked about a proposed curfew on women to curb rape
Misandry!
Anyway.
Lee Byung-Hun
http://star.koreandrama.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/Lee-Byung-Hun-1.jpg
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
http://newnownext.mtvnimages.com/2014/03/nikolaj-coster-waldau-shirtless-heather-sweatpants-HSS1.jpg
Funny how as attractive as I’m finding these guys, I still don’t feel the urge to rape them! How is that possible!?
There is no male conspiracy against women. Male bashing seems to be easy and convenient to explain why women cannot succeed in life. They just want to make noise to feel important and do so by doing stupid things such as vulagar outfits, rape accusations etc etc.
What they cannot do is produce a newton, a michael jordan or a Google inventor.
Quit whining.
My degree is not in mathematics. Call me when you’ve named a new species, though. Why is math the only field that matters to you?
http://i.imgur.com/tyTc1Nl.jpg
You also missed the point of my comment. You see that there are more discoveries attributed to men, but you don’t ask why. There aren’t as many achievements and discoveries attributed to women because they were actively excluded from higher education and certain fields. You can not use this as evidence that men are better at science and math because men and women were not afforded equal opportunities to make those discoveries. That is why you don’t see a “Sally” to match Newton. It’s not because men are better; it’s because women were actively excluded from those fields of study.
You can’t say any one person invented calculus. Its roots go back way too far, and we don’t know the names of all the people involved in its creation and evolution. However, there was this lady involved.
Well, we did once post pictures of drag kings to scare a troll who was making a similar argument. Some of them were scantily clad to be fair but not in the typical way women are usually pictured scantily clad.
But yeah, sexy can mean a lot more than scantily clad
Which is one of the many reasons it’s ridiculous to expect women to cover up in order to not be raped. Any imaginable fashion choice is going to be sexy to some. There’s a reason the “sexy librarian” trope exists and there’s a reason Marlene Dietrich is an icon.
Men have never produced an Olga Korbutt, a Nadia Comăneci, or a Gabby Douglas!
http://www.blaugranas.com/media/galeria/25/5/8/7/9/n_f_c_barcelona_thierry_henry-649785.jpg
Thierry Henry
Fun fact, Sonia Kovalevsky was denied acess to higher eductation so she just figured out calculus all on her own. Clearly proof that women are biologically incapable of math.
Hey, jon, still waiting for your response on this:
http://www.doctorbrunner.com/groundbreaking-study-finds-boys-are-not-naturally-better-than-girls-at-math-but-your-daughter-may-be-more-anxious-about-math/
You seem less excited to talk about this all of a sudden, I wonder why.
http://nextshark.com/sabrina-pasterski-22-mit-grad/
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ALL OF YOU ARE MEANIES FOR NOT ACCEPTING WHAT I SAY AS TRUTH.
Yeah, cuz we’re the ones whining.
There are men who have fetishes for women wearing big hand-knitted ponchos and oversized sweaters.
Jon,
If men are so much better at science than women, why are you so ridiculously ignorant and incapable of logic? Literally everything your have written here is false.
You’ve shown yourself clearly a rapist and a fool.
What went wrong? You have none of the traits of men you claim as inherently male, aside from the fucked up rapey part. Why so whiney and devoid of the slightest understanding of human sexuality and history? What made you such a pathetic example of masculinity? Where are your amazing ackomplishments?
Nobody claimed there was a male conspiracy. That’s not quite what patriarchy means. I’m sorry you’re too simple minded to understand the distinction.
And nobody here is male bashing but you. You’re the one who thinks men turn into rapists if they see a scantily clad woman.