Do you like riddles? I do. Here’s my favorite:
What goes around a button?
You might think the answer is “a buttonhole.” But you would be WRONG!
Well, technically, you would be right, but the correct answer to this riddle is “a goat.”
Because goats go around a-buttin.’ You know, like butting things.
Ok, that joke only works when you say it out loud, and it’s a bit of an open question as to whether it works at all. It’s from a very old and very bad book of jokes and riddles I encountered as a child.
Look, I didn’t say I liked GOOD riddles. I sort of prefer the terrible ones.
And I’m in luck! A few days ago a drive-by commenter left a giant angry dump of a comment in response to one of my posts from way back in 2011. I didn’t let the comment through moderation, but it contained a riddle, of sorts, that I would like to share with you all.
What “is similar to a man wearing small tight thongs and having an erection?”
Set aside the issue of why this fellow is wearing more than one thong, and see what you can come up with.
A banana in a bikini?
A sausage in a small hammock?
A roll of quarters in a diaper?
I’m running out of ideas here.
One of those long balloons that they make balloon animals out of, inside a bag that’s too small for it?
Nope!
The answer is: “Women wearing provocative clothes.”
Let’s let Jon explain it:
Women wearing provocative clothes is similar to a man wearing small tight thongs and having an erection. HOw would you feel men hanging out like that? WOuld you invite them to meet your wife/daughter?
First of all, I don’t have a “wife/daughter.” And I am troubled by Jon’s assumption that I am anti-thong, when it comes to men. I’m not. Dude thongs are fine, in moderation. I’m wearing one right now. I require visitors to put on thongs before entering my apartment. I put them on my cats, when I can catch them.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED READERS: I’m not really wearing a thong. I don’t actually require visitors to put on thongs before entering my apartment. I don’t put them on my cats. I was making some little jokes. That said, I don’t really care if guys wear thongs to the beach, though they should really cover up (and try to think of very unsexy things) if they get erections. As should anyone who gets an erection in public.
In the post that Jon is responding to, I took issue with a fellow who suggested that women who “dress … provocatively and leav[e] a man in an unfinished state of excitement” are essentially assaulting men. Things that this fellow regarded as “provocative” included jeans, high heels, exposed hair. Some of his other arguments were even more, er, provocative.
But let’s get back to Jon, who had many further thoughts and theories he wanted to share with me and my readers, most of which involved explaining how totally wrong he thinks I am, and most of which have nothing to do with my post.
Here are his thoughts on non-verbal communication,
Most human communication is non verbal. For example, if I wink at your wife, are you ok with that? I am just winking right? No David (author) don’t be judgmental! Well that’s called “hitting a girl!”. So provocative outfits create the same sense as sexual organs on a man’s face. It sends non verbal sexual messages.
Er, sexual organs on a man’s face? How exactly did we get from winking to sexual organs on a man’s face?
Women are not a minority – they form 51% of the population and are a MAJORITY.
Thanks for the tip!
Women failures in mathematics, sciences, sports, jobs are not a man’s fault.
How about grammatical errors made by men? Whose fault are they?
In fact most men are not anti-female. At the very least they usually love their mothers, grand mothers, daughters and maybe wives.
‘Maybe wives?” I’m sensing some bitterness here.
Women have failed in these areas as they are just not good enough and lack that white matter in brain that is created by 20,000 evolution and male testosterone. These are biological facts.
Would any biologists care to comment on these, er, facts?
Women do better than men in fields that require caring and nurturing such as certain medical fields (nursing, gynecology), giving birth to babies and raising them.
I will concede that having a uterus does give someone a bit of an advantage when it comes to giving birth to babies.
That said, I am not suggesting preventing women from pursuing their dreams but dont expect 50% of Einsteins and newtons to be women. In fact there has never been a great female scientist of the rank of newton, gauss, euler etc. All major scientific inventions (even minor ones actually) are all male.
WE INVENTED THE MAMMOTH TO FEED YOU.
Nature has designed the human female body to carry babies and be sexually attractive to a man. If this was not the case, human species would not have made it this far. It is the very reason that men have hair on their faces and a muscular body. Its called evolution and you cant (and there is no need to) challenge 20,000 years of human evolution.
Men have hair on their faces so … women can be sexy to them?
I’m thinking Jon might have mixed up some of his notes from Biology 101.
But speaking of sexy, let me just end this post with a dude in what appears to be a Speedo or Speedo equivalent.
I don’t know why, biologically speaking, he’s holding a nailgun, but then again I wasn’t paying careful attention in Biology 101 either.
Also it kind of looks like someone else’s face has been photoshopped over the original Speeo-wearer’s face. I have no idea why. Let’s just call that another riddle.
If we could get all MRAs to read a single history book, this whole thing would be so much easier.
Other than calling me all sorts of things, you have no data to support your viewpoint. I DO! Check the records of men and compare them with women. You will find the answer.
I am sorry if you people were not born mathematically smart. The world is not a fair place. Try and be happy with what you got and quit your jealous pity party.
Well, gosh, Jon, I guess nude beaches must just be nonstop rape parties, huh? *Starts Googling* Hmmm… There is a ‘nude beach rape’ porn niche (of course there is), but reports of actual sexual assaults at clothes-optional places don’t seem to be too numerous. Looks like you’re wrong, Jon! Hey, is this you?
Women got raped into the olden days when they wore a gazillion layers of clothing. They get raped in places where they have to be veiled when in public. Jon, why do you hate men? Why do you think men are animals who can’t control themselves? Is it that you, Jon, cannot control yourself, so you think that every man is like you? No, Jon, they are not. Get help, Jon.
And remember, repeatedly telling women that they are inferior to you doesn’t make you superior in any way. It’s like people trying to feel thinner by calling other people fat, Jon.
Jon has as much in common with Einstein as my dead dog has with Mother Teresa.
Open up a book on Analysis. Yes thats branch of math. Or complex analysis, calculus, linear algebra, differential equations, probability. Do you see any theorems or results with a woman’s name on it? All major results are men created. In fact I have not seen a single women result and I have a PhD!
Same comment for Physics and its branches.
Same comment for professional sports.
Same comments for major business startups.
WOmen just join these companies and just moan the whole time about discrimination. They cant create anything.
OH SNAP IT’S TRUMP XDXDXD
All you people shout is “Rape”, “Equality”, “Equal Pay”, “Gender Discrimination”, “Woman’s rights” etc etc. Try and accomplish something. Quit blaming and harassing people. No one is raping you and discriminating you. Women are a majority with over 51% of population. They are just a miserable because they cannot compete with men.
By the way, there are many women that agree with this. The current US election proves this viewpoint. The tide is turning in the US.
The only doctorate Jon has is from the University of Assfax.
I’m still trying to figure out where all this stuff about us being jealous is coming from. It’s not on topic and it’s not remotely connected to anything anyone actually said.
The trolls who don’t try to engage and instead just try to be as obnoxious as possible don’t have much of a shelf life. He’d better step it up if he doesn’t want to get banned.
Are you refering to how humans use body language to communicate? Body language is not at all the same thing as a fashion choice.
Also, ‘we use body language to communicate so women who wear revealing clothes deserve to be raped’ makes zero sense. A woman can dress in a short skirt and still use body language to singnal “no, I don’t want to have sex with you”.
Wow, did you come up with that example all on your own? Of course not, it’s been brought up hundreds of fucking times and fails on several counts.
First, you’re comparing an inanimate object (money) with an animate non-object (women). Now, you may be shocked to discover that women are actually people. Not objects. So your comparison fails.
Second, you’re victim blaming. Women should wear whatever the fuck they want to wear and not get raped. Instead of telling women not to wear things, we tell men not to rape. It’s a way better solution and way more likely to actually work
Third, your argument is built on the premise that only women who wear scantily clad outfits get raped. Yet, back here in real life, women who dress conservatively get raped as well. To use your own (shitty) analogy against you, this would be like if I took every precaution to prevent my money from getting stolen, but it got stolen anyways. Then, when I said ‘my money got stolen’ people said ‘well it’s your fault for being such a WHORE!’.
Even if women cover every square inch of their body, they are still raped. Perhaps we should focus on punishing rapists? So far, society seems reluctant to do so.
Looks like it’s evo-psych bullshit-o-clock. *Inhales*
Citation needed
Citation needed
Citation needed (to be fair this one might be accurate)
,
Citation needed
.
Hahaha, what the fuck? Since when is ‘math’ a ‘predatory skill’?
Also, citation needed.
You have absolutely zero proof that women are ‘naturally’ worse at math then men. Science is not on your side
http://www.doctorbrunner.com/groundbreaking-study-finds-boys-are-not-naturally-better-than-girls-at-math-but-your-daughter-may-be-more-anxious-about-math/
Also, what’s the matter? Why do you fail so hard at science despite insisting that your gender has some sort of advantage?
Funny how you mention this in the same breath as math ability as if the two are related in any way, shape or form. Sure, women overall have less muscle mass so men overall will lift better than women.
Cool, and no man will ever be more flexible then a woman.
And judging by your inability to rationally back up your arguments as well as your insistence that correlation equals causation, I’m gonna say you’re not a scientist either.
Also, Marie Currie. Your argument is invalid.
Are you incapable of performing a google search?
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=famous+female+mathematicians+and+their+contributions
Uh… no shit?
Well, men and women are not superior to each other. They’re both human beings. Women making babies is not somehow ‘equivalent’ to men hunting mammoths.
Aw, are you trying to pretend you didn’t just make a bunch of untrue assumptions about women and their accomplishment?
No, caring and nuturing people bring a nuturing and caring perspective to the world. Plenty of women hate kids and want nothing to do with them. Plenty of men love kids too, are you saying they can’t be nurturing and caring?
Actually I can absolutely expect women to do just as well as men in terms of math because the idea that ‘women are bad at math’ is a myth, with no basis in fact.
http://www.doctorbrunner.com/groundbreaking-study-finds-boys-are-not-naturally-better-than-girls-at-math-but-your-daughter-may-be-more-anxious-about-math/
So expecting women to be treated equal to men is terrible because it will ‘dillute the system to nothing”.
OH NO! Everyone! Stop this feminism at once, we’re diluting the system! The fuck does that even mean? What system? What/How is it being diluted? and why the fuck is this a bad thing?
France exists!
Are all misogynists immune to fact-checking or are you just hoping that if you spew enough bullshit from your mouth you’ll at least cough up one diamond? Cecilia Payne is the person who discovered that the sun (and all stars) are mostly made of hydrogen. Considering how this is such a basic fact it’s taught to every child in science class, I’m gonna go and say that that’s a pretty ‘reputable’ scientific fact.
Can’t wait to see your clever rebuttal to all my points. And by clever rebuttal I mean accusations that we’re all the meanest people on the internet for daring to call you a poopnose.
Well, not at this very moment, no. Buuuuuuuut….. waaaaaaaaaait. First, we ladies are making men rape us by being inadequtely dressed and overly alcoholized, but now you say we’re not getting raped? Huh?
Trump lost the popular vote by nearly 3 million. Slightly more than a quarter of all eligible US voters voted for Tangerine Rapist. It’s a loud, stupid, racist, obnoxious tide, but not a very big one.
It’s pretty clear that Jon is either an actualized rapist or a rapist just waiting for an opportunity to act. He’s successfully dehumanized women with his “they aren’t quite as human as men” arguments, and turned the responsibility for rape around from the rapist to the victim, even saying outright that the victim bears responsibility for a crime.
Jon is not safe in public. He should lock himself up for the good of others, but of course he won’t because he isn’t a good person.
OK here is a cool suggestion for all you geniuses that you might agree:
> Continue to bare women as much as possible. Drink, have sex, do drugs and be happy. Then keep yelling rape all day long as its going to INCREASE and not decrease.
> Keep bashing men for all your demise. Keep yelling till eternity about equal rights, gender equality etc.
> Meantime, free loading is on the decline. The US economy sucks and there wont be much left for handouts. US businesses are out sourcing jobs and dont want these free loaders anymore. When job run out, go on welfare.
Drink, party, be merry! WOmen are men and men are women. We are ALL equal. Welcome to Banana republic of America!
Guess what? Rape rates have been decreasing for decades in the US. So, Jon, it’s JUST YOU. You may not actually be a rapist, but you think like one. You hate the idea of women being happy and having fun, and you want them to be violently punished for it. Somewhere inside, you dream about doing the punishing. Get help.
Policy of madness: You fool – I said that rape involves a force. If there is not threat of violence or actual violence then there is no rape.
If there is an actual rape, then rapist is wrong and needs to be punished At the same time, a women going about her own way and getting raped is not the same as another that sleeps around, hangs out half nude, drunk. The latter is partly responsible for her outcome.
MOOCOW: A person with bills sticking out example. The bills would be compared to lack of women clothing. You seem to have a problem with logic. I think most people are logically challenged here.
Also, Diplo shows—full of nearly naked people on drugs, with very little rape. My god, it’s almost ass if Jon is wrong about everything! I wonder if his name is even Jon.
Lindsay: 1.8 per 1,000 women in 2005. The figure remained unchanged from 2005 to 2010.
Remember when he was saying he respected his women? That they they were unique and special and not inferior? Oh wait, that was just a couple posts ago…
Remember when he was saying…
That actually sounds pretty dope. Not just ordinary prostitutes and strippers. The greatest who ever lived! Learned from the mistresses of old. Honed their craft to the utmost peak of their profession. I’d read the fuck outta that manga!
Bruh…
41% of female voters chose him. That’s 3% less than Romney. There is no tide
Either way, banned!
Yep, you’re a rapist all right. Everything you say makes me more confident of this assessment. That time you assaulted a drunk person who couldn’t resist? That was, in fact, rape, asshole.
Contradictory statements. Either we’re silly hysterical wimmenz crying rape when there’s no rape or there’s an epidemic of men who can’t help rape all the time because they see some cleavage. It can’t be both. Pick one.
*snort* If you’re going to be tricky with the data find it from a more obscure source than a HuffPo article.
Here are studies that prove relationship with dress and rape:
Antecedents of sexual victimization: factors discriminating victims from nonvictims.
Synovitz LB, Byrne TJ., J Am Coll Health. Jan;46(4):151-8. (1998)
Partial abstract:
The variables found to be related to women’s being sexually victimized were (a) number of different lifetime sexual partners, (b) provocative dress, and (c) alcohol use.
Here is another:
An Examination of Date Rape, Victim Dress, and Perceiver Variables Within the Context of Attribution Theory
Workman JE, Freeburg EW., Sex Roles, Volume 41, Numbers 3-4, 261-277 (1995)
This study found in part that the way a woman choose to dress is sometimes taken as a statement about her character including vulnerability, desire and/or willingness to have sex and provocation of males which consequently affects the likelihood of rape, including date rape.
@Jon
I know you’re getting a lot of replies, but as a woman in science, I need to address a few of your points.
Nope. I’m not a man AND I DON’T WANT TO BE! I did, however, want to be a scientist, which is why I became one and recently earned myself a PhD. Go read Rhuu’s links. Accept the reality and quit complaining. WOMEN SCIENTISTS EXIST and we’re not going anywhere!
Nope again. People, like me, are CHOOSING to pursue certain careers because they want to. You assume that a man could do my job better just because he is a man. How do you know that a woman is not the one who can do the job better?
Hmmmmmm…these two statements seem to contradict each other and, again, go read Rhuu’s links. Women were actively prevented from pursuing higher education and many times their achievements were either stolen by men or ignored by history, which is why there are so few discoveries attributed to women. You can not claim that women didn’t make any of these discoveries when they were denied the opportunity and/or faced strong resistance from their peers (mostly men).
I am doing something I am good at. It’s called being a scientist. I am proud of being a woman and a scientist. Nothing you say can take away my achievements and I’m not going to stop doing the work that I love because a misogynist on the internet thinks I’m doing “man’s” work.
Here is more:
The effects of clothing and dyad sex composition on perceptions of sexual intent: Do women and men evaluate these cues differently.
Abbey, A., Cozzarelli, C., McLaughlin, K., & Harnish, R. J. (1987) Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 17, 108–126.
Partial abstract:
A laboratory study was conducted in which subjects viewed a photograph of two students in a classroom. As predicted, male subjects rated female targets as more sexy and seductive than did female subjects. Also as predicted, female targets who wore revealing clothing were rated as more sexy and seductive than those wearing nonrevealing clothing. Female targets were rated higher on sexual traits regardless of the gender of their partner.
The study went on to infer that provocative dress can lead to an increased chance of date or spousal rape in some situations (primarily spousal and/or date rape).