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MGTOWs herald holographic waifu-in-a-jar as portent of “the post woman age”

Meet the little woman. Literally.

So a couple of days ago, I wrote about an exciting new development in the world of imaginary women: a Japanese company has developed a holographic virtual waifu for men who prefer the women in their life to be completely submissive, completely imaginary, and live in a little jar.

At the time, I wondered aloud what would happen once MGTOWs discovered this new imaginary lady. Would they hail her as a big step towards the eventual replacement of all real human women? Or would they complain about all the naggy texts she’s programmed to send to her real-boy masters?

Actually, they’ve done both.

“Just take my money, “they” can shame me I don’t care I want one,” wrote one happy Redditor in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit in a thread devoted to the imaginary jar lady.

[A] single tear of joy just rolled down my eye, the post woman age is here boys and its glorious. The more lesbians I see the better hahaha

Another commenter pointed out the ways this imaginary women — which is scheduled to the hit market late next year — will be superior to the flesh and blood kind:

Men will enjoy this because it means a virtual companion who will make the home ready everytime they come back and talk to them. That feeling of care and being available to help you whenever you need it is a luxury a real life woman would never provide on account of female nature being selfish and needy. As men, we tend to value loyalty above all else and a virtual companion does just that. Furthermore, this is far better than the alternative of picking up the house after a lazy ungrateful real life woman. Men no longer have to work the second job of taking care of a grown child.

But he can’t imagine women getting the same sort of satisfaction from a tiny virtual dude:

Now, for women, this device does nothing. Women desire social status and bragging that you have a virtual companion is probably the furthest thing you can do to gain status. While they may secretly enjoy it, they aren’t the audience to shell out $3000 bucks. They’d rather put that $3000 bucks into doing their hair and makeup in order to try and seduce a top-tier man. They do not value a clean house or loyalty and any companionship they may want is already readily available because of all her beta orbiters who are at her beck and call.

Others were less enthusiastic.

“[N]o…if i can’t f*ck it and it doesn’t cook it’s worthless to me,” wrote one.

“Wow. it’s kinda depressing,” wrote another.

I couldn’t help but cringe… we can find strength in independence rather than seek false comfort. It just seems delusional.

And then there was that whole “texting you while you’re at work” thing.

“I can see how the Herbivore Men would like this, but I’m gonna pass,” one commenter declared.

No way am I checking in to tell a bunch of pixels what time I’ll be home. Being alone would be far better.

MGTOWs: As predictable as they are creepy.

Of course, in twenty years (ten?) everyone will have tiny holographic friends, living in jars, floating in the air, who knows where else. I’m holding out for a tiny lady in the radiator.

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Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@SFHC
Mahjong with political leaders has never been more casually racist. Though it may be the fact that I know everyone in that manga sans a handful (maybe) are terrible terrible people who ruined countless lives with their horrid decisions is coloring my perceptions a bit.

Also Hitler does a super nazi stage 4 with a swastika formed from his hair.

Crusade and dysentery, truly they dwarf even the most fragrant of flowers.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

At least we have Chuck Tingle. And this dear chap as well, who wrote a guest post at Buttbart.

Musk, also was seen drawing diagrams of a personalized space suit that would be custom made to fit Mr. Trump’s hair and ego inside, without jeopardizing the chlorine gas that the president elect survives on.

Weird (pinko since 1969) Eddie
Weird (pinko since 1969) Eddie
3 years ago

@ Lone Galtian

yeah, I can imagine how 30k dead bodies on a field in Southwest Asia smells after a couple days….

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

Ooooo, so Buttbart is taking guest articles? *looks at John pointedly* 😉

…hey, you said you were more into fiction….

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

@Sinkable John re those ‘memes’ : I hope they’re not members of the SCA or something. 😛

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

Your garden variety meektoe would say that vaginas smell worse anyway, I guess.

@Fishy Goat

This sounds like a brilliant idea. But I’m high. So I’ll need to reexamine it at a later date.

I mean I’m already struggling with the regular fiction work these days ._.

For some reason when I first found out about Buttbart, I wasn’t expecting it to actually update. But when I went there earlier to find something less weird to look at than… whatever the fuck those memes were, I was pretty happy to see stories and stuff. Chuck Tingle is definitely the hero we both need and deserve.

(what’s the SCA ?)

ETA : I mean, this :

“Yes, I have danced with the bear devils under the northern moon,” Trump confirmed. “I danced with them during the entire campaign on several of my trips up beyond the frozen lake. On many occasions, me and Bearlord Pootin would discuss ways that we could encourage more void leaks on this plane of existence.”

(this one is by Chuck Tingle himself, full story here)

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

@Sinkable John: I was thinking that even if you wrote a weird one or two paragraph rough thing about whatever it was you were trying to write seriously, it might break the log jam. Might just be fun for insomnia times. 🙂

SCA= Society For Creative Anachronism These people. There are also many, many unrelated historical reenactment groups.

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
3 years ago

@Sinkable John

Personally, I believe RNGesus took a look at us and said “Fuck it, this species clearly desires the sweet embrace of idiocy. Who am I to stop them?”

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

Heh. “Cthulhu rescinds support for Trump as levels of stupid exceed worst expectations”.

Best I can do for now though, and that’s just a headline.

I’m getting all that inspiration for the regular work though. That’s cool. Problem is I write down maybe a third of it and I’m not sure I remember everything else that well.

RNGesus is a jerk.

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
3 years ago

@Sinkable John

He/She/Variable is random like that. One second a paragon of generosity, the next hour a greedy jerk. Comes with being the manifestation of chance I suppose.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

My sources, which I will not name*, say that the move had more to do with Trump dangerously approaching a critical load of stupid, which would lead to him systematically defeating himself at every turn, thus slowing down the Great Old One’s plan.

*For their protection and also because this earthly keyboard is not suited to to the task.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Dalillama Effort Chicken

By itself if can’t, but I suppose you could connect such a thing to a Roomba and a few similar gadgets (I’m sure a mop-bot could be made), it actually could do a fair amount of cleaning.

Funnily enough, a roomba was what first came to my mind when I saw the price of this … thing.

Why obsess about a thing that constantly nags you when – for a fraction of the price – you could have the whole of your house cleaned regularly with no effort on your own part and no needy useless voice constantly at you for no good reason. Let’s face it, on a value for money basis, anyone with a house of 2 or 3 floors/levels could buy one for each of them and still be ahead.

Christina Nordlander
Christina Nordlander
3 years ago

The people going on about the “post-woman age” because they assume all men want to have sex with androids remind me of the fearmongers who decry homosexuality because they assume all men would have non-stop sex with each other if given the chance. There is a lot of assuming going on, is all I’m saying.

Since it has been brought up, I watched Eraserhead while home alone at age sixteen, and it legitimately traumatised me. The fear faded with time, of course. Maybe I should watch it again and see if I can make head from tail of it…

Vucodlak
Vucodlak
3 years ago

I found Eraserhead rather soothing, but then, my dreams have shown me so much worse. Since nobody asked, I’m going to talk about my dreams for a bit. Be warned, fucked-uppedness follows.

The last couple of nights, there have been tentacles. Some, I remember, were like asparagus stalks the size of telephone poles. Those weren’t so bad. They were slow, ponderous even. Easy to avoid, as they lazily bent down to crush me.

Now, the dense, woody stalks that shot out of the ponds are another matter. Pale green and thick as pool cues, and so, so fast. So painful, when they pierced my body. I could feel them moving through me, feel their grain grating through my flesh. I woke with a start, and began running my hands over my body, checking for holes, making sure it wasn’t real.

But the day before… think meter-long millipedes with the hooked mouth of a bloodworm, crawling all over my skin with their scratchy little feet. Was a screamer, that was. There were other tentacles, too. Some like wires, some like bullwhips, but I hardly remember them. They didn’t bite, like the feetsy-teethy ones did.

I’m sharing this because I’m going to bed now. To sleep. To dream. Maybe scream. Perhaps in the sharing I can have tentacle-free night. Goodnight my child, goodnight, don’t let the horrors from beyond bite.

Oh, and count me as another who’d love a SHODAN in a jar.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Surely if you have a SHODAN in a jar, it’s only a matter of time before she hires a hacker to release her?

Fred_the_dog
Fred_the_dog
3 years ago

I had a Roomba once…I also have dogs (still have them)…I let the Roomba do its thing while I was at work, but one of the dogs pooped on the floor, and let me tell you, the Roomba does not clean up sticky dog poo. Instead, it drags it EVERYWHERE. Luckily, I had all tile floors (no carpet), but OH MY that was a mess to clean up. And that is my cautionary tale for the day.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

@John, (I think that) one of the big causes of writer’s block is stress or depression – a lack of dopamines and/or an excess of stress hormones, like adrenaline or serotonin. I suspect this because one of the major features of long term stress, anxiety or depression is a decrease in creativity and a reduction in what one perceives as “possible options”. Everything seems hopeless to someone who’s depressed because their brains just don’t have the neurotransmitters needed to generate those connections.

(Creativity also involves the hippocampus to a large degree, and large doses of cannabis can reduce activity in the hippocampus, so take that as you will! Not a critique, but it may be something you have to wrestle with to handle the writer’s block)

Usually when I’m having a hard time focusing or getting words on a page, I think more about stress reduction than the thing I’m trying to write. That’s a long-term solution, though, so may not help with the immediate block.

As usual, the best advice is: take care of yourself!

CACollins
CACollins
3 years ago

Since the Society for Creative Anachronism is sometimes know as the society for consenting adults, I doubt the meme is SCAish.
Anyway, we know what ferment of armor smells like.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

@CACollins I was trying to post an image of ‘Sweaty Gambeson pour homme’ but it can only be shared on FB. 😛

CACollins
CACollins
3 years ago

@Fishy Goat
Heh. Been there, smelled that.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

I’ve rarely mentioned it but a lot of my creative work and stress-relief benefits from cannabis when I get to use it. I have looked at the research and thought a lot about it. (Also found the delima of medicating social problems we need to fix but that’s really meta and messy and would probably include antidepressants).

TLDR; personal feeling of social stress is dampened allowing more attention to be devoted to other things. It’s best for me to make basic connections and rough drafts/outlines under the influence of with a heavy dose, and then little or none for the meat of it and polishing.

I get big benefits from cannabis and I have the benefit of being personally familiar with some of the brain anatomy involved at a general level, and I’ve looked at some the structure/brain network research on cannabis. I’m pretty sure I can respect the unknowns and personal experience based on some familiarity with known unknowns (full meaning and consequence of lateralization in the brain), and groups of people who seem to be more sensitive to the potential negative effects of cannabis (people with family history of schizophrenia and paranoia/anxiety). In long-term adult cannabis users the left insular cortex (LIccx) is thinner. The Iccx seems to process personal feeling states (the physically felt part of emotion) and the L cerebral cx seems to handle ways you respond/control/act on (you at the world) more than the other side of that symmetry (recieve/be controlled/perceive, world acting at you has a Rccx bias). A reasonable speculation is that negative feeling associated with action (physical and mental) is dampened (maybe the hippocampus info Scildfreja mentioned represents a social map with reduced negative social affect, the hippocampus maps many kinds of spaces in a domain general way in my reading of it).

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@Scildfreja & Brony

You completely lost me at the sciencey parts, but that was expected.

I find that “inspiration”, for lack of a better word, benefits greatly from small-to-medium doses, but it also cripples “execution” thoroughly.

Three evenings in a row I’ve had what seemed at the time like great general ideas that need to be implemented in my work or can even solve some narrative problems I had. I say “what seemed like great ideas” because I didn’t write ’em down, and only remember a few – but I do indeed love those. Now I don’t know that it comes from the stress relief though. It probably is one side of that action, but I think it’s not the only thing : I can’t exactly describe it in accurate and verifiable terms, but it tends to temporarily take down a lot of mental barriers, make you think things in different ways. Making unexpected connections is a great way to achieve inspiration. Unfortunately, it’s also probably what causes some very bad ideas to sound great, but I classify that under “side-effects that an experienced smoker should have no trouble fighting off”, kinda like bad trips.

For the record, the state of my work is thus : I got three books planned pretty thoroughly, but only about a third of the first one is written, along with a few loose chapters from the other two (because I’m a mess and don’t write anything in the order it’s meant to be read). Not to mention a growing body of text that currently can’t fit in any of the three books but is still too closely-related to not put it in there. So that’d could be a fourth book, I guess, and about a quarter of it is already written. A great deal of that planning was done under the influence.

Now, actually doing the writing is another story altogether. Cannabis doesn’t make you any less lazy, so that’s one thing. If you’re prone to endless digressions like me, it also certainly won’t help with that either. Hell, sometimes it even makes taking notes hard for me, and that kinda defeats the whole “more inspiration” thing. Maybe because the actual act of writing seems too tedious at the time ?

TL;DR : Smoke a big one, relax, think about your work, and take notes. Leave the hard stuff for after you’ve slept it off.

Now I’m going to have a little experiment (I normally don’t smoke so early in the day), and roll a tiny one before trying to bring myself to write for a bit. I’ve experienced a “balanced” state before, where better inspiration makes for better execution and writing is easier – and there is a correlation with small doses. Let’s see if I can consciously reproduce that. (science is fun)

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

for women, this device does nothing

That’s OK. Women have other… devices to do things for em