It’s Friday, at least in my part of the space-time continuum, so here’s an open thread for you all. No trolls, MRAs, Trump fans, etc.
And since I’m posting weirdly filtered pics, here’s a weirdly filtered pic of my cats in their kitten days:
And some random ladies having a drink:
@Sinkable John
Just figured I’d throw that out there, in case it’d be useful (plus I was hoping for some real-world practice lol). I can do writing, coordinating, even braving the fever swamps if you need folks for that. I’m versatile.
@ryeash
Especially being willing to wade through the swamps is gonna be precious. Done that crap for about 10-11 years now and there’s still only so much I can stomach in a day. (Pretty sure David’s got a depleted uranium coating over his brain shielding him from the hate and stupid. And even he sometimes needs a break.)
Especially since we’ll be looking for specimens of one of the smelliest swamp monsters. But hey, at least it makes it easy to track down.
In other news, I only just discovered that “sometime” and “sometimes” are actually two different words, not one word that people sometimes spell differently for whatever reason. ESL is a beautiful thing. You can learn the most basic things even if you’ve been a bit comfortable with it for dozen years already.
Family update. We’ve found a board and care home for our older son. The one he’s been at (run by a local agency) is a transitional facility to help transition age youth learn enough self-sufficiency to do well in a B&C with minimal supervision. His SSI payment will cover most of the cost, which is enormously helpful. He’s doing much better these days; we went for a walk Friday afternoon (clear but cold) and he talked more than he has in a while. He complained about an earworm, so we sang “Yellow Submarine” together walking down the street. That was fun.
Some of the reactions we get from the ever-expanding cauldron of mental health professionals we deal with make me suspect that not all parents of mentally ill teenagers are as actively involved in their children’s care as we are; it certainly helps that we have the background and skill set to advocate for and support him. If we were both working full time and had a biokid with his illness/disability, whoo, that would be very bad.
This is a time of transition – in addition to the above, our younger son will be stopping therapy soon. His therapist has seen him for the last ten years (five to fifteen), and believes he’s improved to the point where she cannot justify keeping him as a client. So – good? He has to leave now that he’s become enjoyable to be with.
My own physician, who I’ve seeing since January ’88, is closing his office at the end of the year. I’ll need to get a new doctor. It feels strange. He’s known me since I was on my first husband.
To finish on a high note, my husband and I got to go out to dinner last Wednesday. Good food, pleasant company, very enjoyable. I managed to be and have a good time.
@Sheila Crosby – very good point, that the underprivileged are held to much higher standards than the privileged.
@Victorious Parasol and Robert Walker-Smith – I’m glad health/family situations are more stable.
@Sinkable John – Not that you’d need any help with writing, but I’d be interested to see some ideas/articles.
(I should attempt some rest. Still got two more days of work left before holidays, so I have no idea why I’m up at 2 AM. Anyway.)
I do. Right now I’m staring at a blank page with a specific brand of writer’s block and anxiety that I hadn’t had in years – namely, since high school and its fucking essays. I’m really starting to doubt whether it’s a good idea or not.
So an old friend of mine (who was my teacher in primary school and she’s been close to me and my mother ever since – that school was a pretty tightly knit community) called today to ask me if I’d help another friend (who also worked at that school at that time) talk to her 18 year old son about his drug use (and abuse).
He got busted driving under the influence, so with the current state of French law he can kiss either his license or his drug use goodbye. Enter regularly-scheduled drug tests, a mandatory “civil awareness” course that he’ll have to pay for himself (and it’s ridiculously costly), and a series of other hurdles he’ll have to pass to even have a chance to get his license back someday. And it turns out he smokes worrying amounts even by my standards, and wasn’t well even before that – so I’m assuming he’s using weed just like I do, except he’s got way less control over his use, which is a risk I know far too well.
I… am not too sure what to do. I get why they asked me, of all people. Professional help is out of the question in this country, given how we get “treated”. Personal help is extremely difficult to find because while few people will even listen to you, even fewer will actually understand what’s up. So it makes sense that someone going through something similar and aware of that obstacle course would be suited to give advice to him, but also the people around him.
‘cept I’m not. Only reason I’m the most “qualified” person they could think of is because there’s no one else. I said okay, but I’ll talk to his mother first, so I can know her outlook on it and if there ain’t something she could do (or stop doing) and it’d start helping before I talk to him. That I guess I can do. But talking to the guy himself ? Fuck I don’t know…
Is “Cards Against Humanity” a fun present to give someone??????????
Basically, I am assuming that Mammotheers Know All.
Any opinions on the matter gratefully received.
I hate this time of year …
I hope you are all OK. I am (>.<) – if that is the appropriate image for frayed around the edges, that is.
@Sinkable John, fwiw I think you would be a good person to talk to – no matter you’re not qualified/experienced/”suitable”/etc. and all that – because you’re smart, empathetic and you know where this person is coming from (not perfectly, no doubt, but better than most).
And above all because you will listen. And sometimes what we need and want more than anything is for someone to hear us.
If nothing else, you can offer this kid the chance to be heard, to be seen, to be listened to. And sometimes that is invaluable.
Whatever happens with that, I hope it goes well and I wish you all the best. You’re good people.
@opposablethumbs
Cards Against Humanity can be a fun gift, depending on the person. It can be suuuuper problematic, though. Here’s a review that explains why. It can also be really uncomfortable to play with family, so that might be a consideration.
@Sinkable John,
A bit of advice on coordinating people on your project: set up something like a Yahoo Groups or Google documents as a central hub for your group. Those can be set to whatever privacy level you need, so the wrong people can’t see your messages. Also having an independent hub is useful for those times the Internet gremlins eat the private emails.
Just a thought. Use / not use as desired.
kupo, thank you so much for that link. It was exactly the kind of information I needed to decide (not to get it. I’ll get them something else instead 🙂 )
Yeah, Cards Against Humanity (or as I call it, Punching Down: 4Chan Edition) is very much a love-it-or-hate-it thing. Personally, I tried playing it once, got to the first child rape non-joke and walked the fuck away.
Sounds very StraightWhiteDude “humour”. I’d heard of the game, seen the name mentioned around a lot, and heard of people making their own modifications. So it sounded like a maybe … but from this it sounds like it would need rather a lot of modifying.
(Kind of like playing “Consequences” but instead of everybody making up their own lines with paper and pencil you pick from pre-written ones :-s )
(We always end up playing charades at some point, and somebody always makes somebody else act out “Where The Green Ants Dream” and “Amarcord” … I expect this year will be no different 🙂 )
@Ellesar:
Thanks!
I was actually alive when that song came out (and even if I hadn’t been, my mom loved it so it was inevitable that I was exposed to it), but I never knew the lyrics all that well.
I’ve always been partial to Debbie Harry myself, so I was worried that there was some public political decision she’d made (recently? at the time she was in the spotlight?) which would make me cringe.
Soooooo happy to find out that my fear was baseless.
I’m very fond of Dixit. It’s sort of a visual, non-4chan version of Cards Against Humanity.
Dixit is good. I can confirm.
@Weird Eddie
A bit late but yes! You can listen here: https://clyp.it/pmw0r0un
I like Fluxx – and there’s some cool varieties out now:
http://www.fluxxgames.com/#fluxx5
Has anyone played Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes? Contrary to the name it seems like good clean fun.
@dikdik
I haven’t personally played it because it reminds me of my customer support days, but it’s good clean fun for people who enjoy cooperative puzzles.
Lots of replies here! I’m on my tablet so can’t really review them all. Lots of good news up there though. Yay Vicky!
@Sinkable John, eugh, that’s a tough spot to be in. Just remember that you aren’t responsible for his improvement – you’re just trying to help. Don’t let it burden you too much! Otherwise? Empathy is important. Less talking, more listening. Often when someone is overdoing it on a substance (addictive or otherwise) it’s because they’re trying to compensate for an anxiety or something making them hurt. Discovering that, and helping him deal with it, is what I’d be focusing on. Which isn’t easy! (Of course, it could be a more biological problem – there’s no way to know.)
Good luck! You can do it.
@opposeablethumbs, eeeuuuugh, Cards Against Humanity. Asshole-Jokes-In-A-Box. The game basically rewards players for being foul and insulting. There are so many better games out there.
Go to Shut Up & Sit Down – they do youtube video reviews of board games and card games. They’re hilarious and fun to watch, and you get a good idea of what the games are about. Watch some of those and I bet you’ll find something that your family will enjoy!
aaand i notice the linked review from Kupo is from SU&SD, and is exactly what I thought it’d say. Another reason to love SU&SD I guess! Those guys are great. Seriously, go watch them, or go to their website through Kupo’s link. They’re G-E-W-D gewwd.
Boardgames??? I love Small World (It’s like risk, but fun!) and the Farming Game (It’s like monopoly, but fun! Still takes hours and hours, but you’re playing against the game, and not other people, and you get to do something every turn, so it’s always fun.), Settlers of Catan obvs, Carcasonne, OH Scattergories! Also headbands, +1 for getting the ridiculously old version of it at a value village or something. Could someone explain what that board is for, haha?
A colleague was just recommending the Sheriff of Nottingham, saying it was a lot of fun to play.
Zombie dice is quick, which is nice.
Texas Zombies is all about telling stories, which I love.
OH Dead of Winter is really good! Watch the youtube video though, it’s a lot to explain. The game plays so well that once you understand, it’s really easy to do. It’s another one where you’re mostly playing against the game, and not people. I prefer not having the betrayer.
Pandemic is fun! Co-op game, playing against the game, trying to save the world!
And I should go back to work. XD
Also, check out Tabletop, it’s pretty fun!
I saw this on Tumblr and thought of Roosh V. I thought I’d share with you. (Let’s hope the link works.)
https://writeswrongs.tumblr.com/post/154701008768/writeswrongs-oh-my-god
Is homophobia why Roosh thinks washing his butt is bad?
Also, open thread so… A little while ago, I decided to go to A-Camp, which is the autostraddle camp in the States. It was full of all kinds of LBT+ people, which was wonderful. It was strangely freeing to be in a space where you knew that everyone was there with the intention of doing good, and no one would think less of you for being queer in some way.
I had never been, so I wound up in a cabin with mostly others who also had never been. It was a wonderful experience, and one that I’d like to repeat.
Later, I get an email from one of my cabin-mates mentioning that she’d be in town for a reason. I talked to my room mates, and they were fine with her staying here. I was pretty non-specific on how I knew her, just like I was non-specific on where I was going for this thursday-sunday camp (the States, lololollllll yeah. I told my parents so someone knew where i was.)
So she drove on up, and we had the house ready. I had the air mattress set up downstairs, and said that I could take it, or she could take it, whatever she was comfortable with. She seemed reluctant, and just suggested we share my bed. It’s big enough, and we had already discussed her serious relationship, so I said okay. I figured that maybe she couldn’t sleep by herself, or something?
This is actually a pretty big thing for me, and a boundary I was pushing. I don’t know her that well, and being okay with sleeping near her was big?
Anyway, it was a nice trip. Later on though, she’s texting me a bunch, and I’m enjoying the contact with my international friend. Then it… shifts slightly, and suddenly I’m panicking because she has a girlfriend?? What is happening?
Eventually we talk it out, and I’m all “FUNNY STORY I’m pretty sure I’m ace so…?” and she’s all “darn it!” and we’re like
but now I’m feeling kind of lost. Like, where the hell do I fit? Do I go to a camp that is defined by the fact that all the ladies there love other ladies? Do I go to any of these spaces? Do I talk about any of this, since it feels like it’s just always going to be academic to me?
Also, maybe if she wasn’t already IN a relationship, something not-serious could have happened because I am so curious damn it!
Then there’s the holidays, and knowing that while some of my relatives are appalled at Trump, they would be far less appalled at say, Pence, because they believe in a lot of the same sort of policies. And how do you discuss that, without just having to hear (again) things like while they don’t believe in any marriage I’d be likely to enter into, they would still go and wish me well. Like that’s… Not homophobic? I guess?
(Asking questions is what I’m going to try to do. Let them explain. Don’t tell them they’re being homophobic, because homophobes know that homophobia is wrong and they’re not bad people, why would you say that??? UGH)
BUT I’m doing well at work, and they have me working overtime on a second project, so I like to think that I’m valuable there. I just found out that my d&d 5e beastmaster ranger character has been overhauled by Wizards of the Coast, and my pseudo dragon companion Wellesley might be able to actually fight???
I’m going to actually spend new years eve with friends for the first time in like, eleven years. Maybe fifteen. Hooray!
So on the balance good, though the world still feels like it’s going to hell in a handbasket. And I’m all WHY A HANDBASKET? Who even specifies which limb holds a basket, are there footbaskets? COME ON.
(wow that is a teal deer, sorry!)