A Japanese company is taking the idea of a virtual assistant to a new level.
By which I mean that their new virtual assistant is a tiny holographic lady who lives in what looks like a very expensive coffee maker and wants you to be her boyfriend/master.
“Azuma,” according to her bio on the Gatebox AI website, is a 20 year-old anime fan who likes eating donuts, cooking fried eggs, and obeying every command from you that she can understand.
And don’t worry, fellas, there’s no way your tiny waifu can escape from her glass prison!
Now, obviously, there is nothing inherently wrong with virtual assistants, or holograms, or talking to inanimate objects in jars if that’s what floats your boat. And there are plenty of perfectly decent people who raise virtual pets and play dating sims.
But watch this ad for Azuma and tell me it doesn’t look like the opening sequence of some creepy dystopian horror film.
This little horror isn’t here quite yet. The Japanese version, selling for the equivalent of $2700, won’t ship for another year. Presumably an English language version will come out some time after that.
I guess the question I have is this: Will MGTOWs hail Azuma as a big step towards the eventual replacement of all real human women?
Or will they be annoyed by all her naggy texts?
I will follow up once they discover her.
EDIT: Well, that was quick. See what the MGTOWs think in my post here.
H/T — GamerGhazi
Snowberry says:
Good try, but not quite. In this case, 中 is a suffix indicating something is ongoing or happening over a period of time—an abstraction of the literal meaning of “between/middle.” (Which even people who don’t know any Chinese characters can get a sense of from the shape alone.) A literal translation of an abstraction is still an abstraction, so the correct overly-literal translation would be “In the Middle of Seeking a Master.” (Whereas a non-overly-literal one might be “Currently Seeking a Master.”)
I think they get around the issue by classifying it as 2.5-D or something.
Policy of Madness says:
That’s pretty much the selling point of most harem garbage. It’s not just about dozens of girls throwing themselves at you sexually but dozens of girls needing you emotionally and intellectually. And that’s also why a lot of people try to argue that so many harem characters are not objectified; the characters seem to have more dimensions than your typical sex object. The thing is, they’re developed around giving the consumer the feeling that only he (or his stand-in, rather) can make these girls whole, contented individuals. So any extra dimensions are still only there for the gratification of some dude.
Takeaway from the comments is that the technology itself seems pretty great and definitely would have a number of uses, but the way it’s applied in this specific product is awful.
@Scildfreja
Re : AI in video games.
Warning, teal dear ahead, and it’s not really relevant to Girl-In-A-Jar technology.
I remember writing a basic framework for AI behavior, tailored for stealth-type games. Well, by “framework” I only really mean a theoretically-totally-programmable model spread out on a dozen sheets of paper that will never make it to actual code.
The idea was that different people have different personalities and responses to specific kinds of stress, while “guards” (as I’ma refer to them for simplicity’s sake) in those games typically always respond in the same way when they spot the PC or signs of the PC’s presence. Patrol -> Investigate -> Attack. Sometimes there’s a few different archetypes, for example “civilians” who go Patrol -> Investigate -> Scream in terror and flee, but that’s about it. It gets especially ridiculous in some cases where a highly trained guard and a drunk bandit react in completely identical ways. Or can somehow figure out instantly that the footsteps they’re hearing is definitely not their ally patroling on the other side of the wall but an intruder.
The model included “role” archetypes like mentioned above (‘cept there were about a dozen different roles, not just guard/civilian) but also “personality” parameters that’d be randomly attributed to each individual unit, regardless of their role. They could have shorter/longer reaction times than typical, be more or less prone to investigate noise, be more or less thorough in said investigation, have a tendency to shun their duties and not show up where they should, etc. And then “training” parameters which could override (to a certain extent) some personality quirks. And on top of that, “biological needs” timers making them leave their post to go to the bathroom, or to grab something to eat or drink (or have someone else bring it to them for “leader” roles, unless their personality says they can make their own damn sandwich). And then fluctuating parameters like being drunk or sleepy, depending on outside parameters, but also dictated somewhat by their personality. And on top of that, fluctuating “area” parameters, basically the set of rules they’re supposed to abide to, depending on how tight the security is supposed to be. Of course that would be to some extent dictated by whether or not they’re aware that they might face intrusion, or if they know for a fact that an intruder is there, which changes the behavior of everyone.
The whole point was to make them utterly unpredictable, making a stealthy infiltration a much trickier affair but also offering a much greater opportunity to mess with them. Does that guy look a bit… on edge ? Why not make yourself visible to him for a tiny instant, then hide and show up in a different place, repeatedly, until he gets really jumpy and possibly attacks his allies mistaking them for the PC ? Or maybe that plan’s gonna backfire and he’ll sound the alarm without definite proof of intrusion. Is that guy saying he’s hungry ? He’s gonna go look for food soon, so why not steal the food to get him to look elsewhere and leave his post for longer, or go complain to a superior or maybe go yell at a subordinate ? Stuff like that.
It’s a kind of mental exercise for me, trying to come up with new gameplay ideas. Usually that goes way too far and I end up with a story and aesthetic style as well. In this case it didn’t go any further than AI, because that alone was already a lot of work, since the possibilities were so extensive. That’s when I realized that although it was tailored for a very specific kind of gameplay, it was already SO MUCH, and oh god I wouldn’t wanna be an AI programmer.
TL;DR : I’m one of those misguided people who think AI is one of the most important things in a video game, and that it’s currently extremely underexploited, so I like to come up with ideas to drown AI programmers in a ridiculous amount of work.
Hey, I got a boring life. I need to keep busy with something.
@Euroguy
Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Moderation limbo again, eh ?
Y’know, your boner notes already aren’t that appealing by themselves, so you really, really shouldn’t punctuate them with this :
Not to mention the comments policy.
1 bonus point because Camus is one of my favorite authors.
But then you lose a berguillion points for having the nerve to cite Camus while being a fascist shithead.
Go read The Plague. It was written about you.
dlouwe says:
Uh, no. The herbivore concept is not explained well in English, so I can see why you’d think that, but herbivore men and moe-loving, women-hating otaku are not the same thing. The herbivore/carnivore classification is primarily about how central the pursuit of women, sex, and relationships is to the individual’s masculinity, not necessarily whether he’s interested in those things. (There is a range in how the terms are used, though.)
Herbivore men cultivate platonic relationships with women and avoid aggressive pursuit, but they’re still usually interested in sex and romantic relationships. They simply don’t make them the ultimate priority or define their masculinity by them. (Now, if you’ve heard that the Japanese government wants to blame the low birthrate on the herbivores, keep in mind that the Japanese government is filled with a bunch of conservative, traditionalist doofuses who think, rather like Western conservatives, that “proper” men are slavering horndogs by nature.)
A man who isn’t interested in women, sex, or relationships at all is a non-eater (zesshoku-kei danshi). And that’s still different than the moe-loving, women-hating otaku types, though some might choose to classify themselves that way. These otaku are basically MGTOWs—they’re disaffected not because they genuinely lack interest but because they can’t find women who live up (down?) to their sexist standards. So they have to make holograms or sex pillows instead.
By the way, these labels can apply to women, too, though they have different connotations since men are expected to be horndogs (carnivores) and women are expected to be passive (herbivores). But I could convey being aro/ace to younger generations of Japanese people by calling myself a “zesshoku-kei joshi.”
Damn right, I’ve been addicted to a horse raising sim for years now!
Oh gods above nothing would get done.
He’d do things just specifically to fuck with you. And then not do the things you ask him to just to have a little chortle at your seething.
And gods forbid you play Borderlands 2 around the thing. It probably would inherit his PTSD from not only his daughter dying, but from watching the player kill him over and over.
As for the OP: I do think it’s a good idea, as someone who doesn’t like living alone, but who also has social anxiety.
But the “master” shit and the texting’s gotta stop.
Care to share?
My only question is…are there a tiny men versions?
@Troubelle-
How dare you suggest inflicting MRA types on innocent kitties? What did the precious floofs do to you to deserve that?
@A. Noyd
Ah! Thank you for the clarification. I fully admit to gleaning most of my knowledge from Wikipedia. From your description, I’d probably fit under the general classification of “herbivore.”
Also now I understand how completely inappropriate the attempt of MGTOW’s to “claim” the herbivores under their umbrella is.
I just watched Soos And The Real Girl today.
…I shouldn’t be surprised that people waifu GIFfany.
@dlouwe
Yeah, I took a peek at the English Wikipedia page and it’s um… not great, to say the least. (But still better than some other sources.) The whole “given up on women or sex!!” “loss of masculinity!!” alarmism is the results of filtering the concept through conservative criticism, which is always a horrible way to present the youth culture of another country.
Welp. I’m going to have to have a little shower with the steel wool tonight, after reading about this thing.
@HJ+PI, re: Handsome Jack AI
The villainous asshole part of me thinks “punishment,” but my more efficient asshole side says “just sudo the same annoying song to play on loop whenever he’s out; worked well enough for Maxwell of Don’t Starve”. (Suggestions open.)
Though it is probable that he, uh….wouldn’t work too well. My SSO would be disappointed.
@Pagan Reader
Eh….true, the cats don’t really deserve that. But if they could learn to work with a cat, then that’s a bit more probable that we could get them to work with people.
Can you imagine a GlaDos in a Jar? That would sell like pancakes, until the GlaDos’ start collaborating and take over everything including the means of making pancakes.
@Oogly
So wait, basically building a helpful AI that simulates a murderous one ?
… but that’s brilliant.
I would be interested in this, if it were a holographic Siri and not some creepy bullshit.
@Oogly and Sinkable John
That’s just what I was thinking! I would LOVE to have a GLaDOS-like electronic assistant who would act condescending and sarcastic and threaten to kill me at regular intervals. The only problem is that if it really did gain sentience, I couldn’t say no to any of its demands. <3
@Silky
“Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any stain on the dishes will result in an ‘unsatisfactory’ mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!”
@Troubelle
All you have to do is unplug him so he can’t control anything and ignore him. He’s stuck in a jar thing so he can’t do any annoying stuff.
It’s his worst nightmare, not being paid attention to.
But, like, even if he’s still plugged in, what’s he gonna do? Oh no…he turned the light off…I’m mildly inconvenienced…he’s shutting the coffee pot on and on…I guess I can use my stove top…okay, turning on the central heating to maximum when I’m gone all day is a dick move but, you know, if the electricity turns off…he ceases to exist so, you know, watch it.
Milo strikes again.
CW Transphobia
University ignored warnings about far-right speaker, leaving him free to bully trans student on stage
@Jack
Ugh.
This from the chancellor, who ignored all warnings and let that piece of garbage speak there.
I hope she finds a plan B and can resume her life quick enough.
Less importantly… that a picture of Milo at the top ? The hell’s with his hair this time ? Methinks he’s taking that “Daddy” shtick way too far.
@Sinkable John
TBH at first I think it was an ad for, like, an N*SYNC album…somehow…like, a picture Joey Fatone or whatever dark haired dudes there were. (I only know the names of Joey and Justin.) His ensemble is very late 90s/early noughties.