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creepy irony alert men who should not ever be with imaginary women ever men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny

Fellas! Tiny hologram lady in a jar will be your girlfriend/slave for $2700

Every lonely misogynist’s dream girl? (Graphic adapted from Gatebox AI website; the “master now wanted” line is really what they have her saying.)

A Japanese company is taking the idea of a virtual assistant to a new level.

By which I mean that their new virtual assistant is a tiny holographic lady who lives in what looks like a very expensive coffee maker and wants you to be her boyfriend/master.

“Azuma,” according to her bio on the Gatebox AI website, is a 20 year-old anime fan who likes eating donuts, cooking fried eggs, and obeying every command from you that she can understand.

And don’t worry, fellas, there’s no way your tiny waifu can escape from her glass prison!

Now, obviously, there is nothing inherently wrong with virtual assistants, or holograms, or talking to inanimate objects in jars if that’s what floats your boat. And there are plenty of perfectly decent people who raise virtual pets and play dating sims.

But watch this ad for Azuma and tell me it doesn’t look like the opening sequence of some creepy dystopian horror film.

This little horror isn’t here quite yet. The Japanese version, selling for the equivalent of $2700, won’t ship for another year. Presumably an English language version will come out some time after that.

I guess the question I have is this: Will MGTOWs hail Azuma as a big step towards the eventual replacement of all real human women?

Or will they be annoyed by all her naggy texts?

I will follow up once they discover her.

EDIT: Well, that was quick. See what the MGTOWs think in my post here.

H/T — GamerGhazi

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A. Noyd
A. Noyd
4 years ago

Snowberry says:

Just in case anyone cares, and also because I’m a little bored, the overly-literal translation of the sign is “Master Recruitment Inside”.

Good try, but not quite. In this case, 中 is a suffix indicating something is ongoing or happening over a period of time—an abstraction of the literal meaning of “between/middle.” (Which even people who don’t know any Chinese characters can get a sense of from the shape alone.) A literal translation of an abstraction is still an abstraction, so the correct overly-literal translation would be “In the Middle of Seeking a Master.” (Whereas a non-overly-literal one might be “Currently Seeking a Master.”)

There’s also a bunch of “This is good because 3-D Women are shit” type comments, which seems weird because aren’t holograms technically 3-D?

I think they get around the issue by classifying it as 2.5-D or something.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
4 years ago

Policy of Madness says:

There’s a theme to it, a very needy and clingy theme.

That’s pretty much the selling point of most harem garbage. It’s not just about dozens of girls throwing themselves at you sexually but dozens of girls needing you emotionally and intellectually. And that’s also why a lot of people try to argue that so many harem characters are not objectified; the characters seem to have more dimensions than your typical sex object. The thing is, they’re developed around giving the consumer the feeling that only he (or his stand-in, rather) can make these girls whole, contented individuals. So any extra dimensions are still only there for the gratification of some dude.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

Takeaway from the comments is that the technology itself seems pretty great and definitely would have a number of uses, but the way it’s applied in this specific product is awful.

@Scildfreja

Re : AI in video games.

Warning, teal dear ahead, and it’s not really relevant to Girl-In-A-Jar technology.

I remember writing a basic framework for AI behavior, tailored for stealth-type games. Well, by “framework” I only really mean a theoretically-totally-programmable model spread out on a dozen sheets of paper that will never make it to actual code.

The idea was that different people have different personalities and responses to specific kinds of stress, while “guards” (as I’ma refer to them for simplicity’s sake) in those games typically always respond in the same way when they spot the PC or signs of the PC’s presence. Patrol -> Investigate -> Attack. Sometimes there’s a few different archetypes, for example “civilians” who go Patrol -> Investigate -> Scream in terror and flee, but that’s about it. It gets especially ridiculous in some cases where a highly trained guard and a drunk bandit react in completely identical ways. Or can somehow figure out instantly that the footsteps they’re hearing is definitely not their ally patroling on the other side of the wall but an intruder.

The model included “role” archetypes like mentioned above (‘cept there were about a dozen different roles, not just guard/civilian) but also “personality” parameters that’d be randomly attributed to each individual unit, regardless of their role. They could have shorter/longer reaction times than typical, be more or less prone to investigate noise, be more or less thorough in said investigation, have a tendency to shun their duties and not show up where they should, etc. And then “training” parameters which could override (to a certain extent) some personality quirks. And on top of that, “biological needs” timers making them leave their post to go to the bathroom, or to grab something to eat or drink (or have someone else bring it to them for “leader” roles, unless their personality says they can make their own damn sandwich). And then fluctuating parameters like being drunk or sleepy, depending on outside parameters, but also dictated somewhat by their personality. And on top of that, fluctuating “area” parameters, basically the set of rules they’re supposed to abide to, depending on how tight the security is supposed to be. Of course that would be to some extent dictated by whether or not they’re aware that they might face intrusion, or if they know for a fact that an intruder is there, which changes the behavior of everyone.

The whole point was to make them utterly unpredictable, making a stealthy infiltration a much trickier affair but also offering a much greater opportunity to mess with them. Does that guy look a bit… on edge ? Why not make yourself visible to him for a tiny instant, then hide and show up in a different place, repeatedly, until he gets really jumpy and possibly attacks his allies mistaking them for the PC ? Or maybe that plan’s gonna backfire and he’ll sound the alarm without definite proof of intrusion. Is that guy saying he’s hungry ? He’s gonna go look for food soon, so why not steal the food to get him to look elsewhere and leave his post for longer, or go complain to a superior or maybe go yell at a subordinate ? Stuff like that.

It’s a kind of mental exercise for me, trying to come up with new gameplay ideas. Usually that goes way too far and I end up with a story and aesthetic style as well. In this case it didn’t go any further than AI, because that alone was already a lot of work, since the possibilities were so extensive. That’s when I realized that although it was tailored for a very specific kind of gameplay, it was already SO MUCH, and oh god I wouldn’t wanna be an AI programmer.

TL;DR : I’m one of those misguided people who think AI is one of the most important things in a video game, and that it’s currently extremely underexploited, so I like to come up with ideas to drown AI programmers in a ridiculous amount of work.

Hey, I got a boring life. I need to keep busy with something.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@Euroguy

Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Moderation limbo again, eh ?

Who needs sexbots when there is so many gorgeous hookers at very reasonable prizes?
Who wants a 20 year old submissive sexbot when you can have a 30 year old nazi dominatrix?

Y’know, your boner notes already aren’t that appealing by themselves, so you really, really shouldn’t punctuate them with this :

So many pervert and fucked in the head people!

Not to mention the comments policy.

The video is like a Japanese version of “The foreigner”, by Camus: the singleness, the void, the tram, the absurd, the rutine…

1 bonus point because Camus is one of my favorite authors.

But then you lose a berguillion points for having the nerve to cite Camus while being a fascist shithead.

Go read The Plague. It was written about you.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
4 years ago

dlouwe says:

The relatively recent trend of “herbivore men” (who I imagine are a primary target of this product)

Uh, no. The herbivore concept is not explained well in English, so I can see why you’d think that, but herbivore men and moe-loving, women-hating otaku are not the same thing. The herbivore/carnivore classification is primarily about how central the pursuit of women, sex, and relationships is to the individual’s masculinity, not necessarily whether he’s interested in those things. (There is a range in how the terms are used, though.)

Herbivore men cultivate platonic relationships with women and avoid aggressive pursuit, but they’re still usually interested in sex and romantic relationships. They simply don’t make them the ultimate priority or define their masculinity by them. (Now, if you’ve heard that the Japanese government wants to blame the low birthrate on the herbivores, keep in mind that the Japanese government is filled with a bunch of conservative, traditionalist doofuses who think, rather like Western conservatives, that “proper” men are slavering horndogs by nature.)

A man who isn’t interested in women, sex, or relationships at all is a non-eater (zesshoku-kei danshi). And that’s still different than the moe-loving, women-hating otaku types, though some might choose to classify themselves that way. These otaku are basically MGTOWs—they’re disaffected not because they genuinely lack interest but because they can’t find women who live up (down?) to their sexist standards. So they have to make holograms or sex pillows instead.

By the way, these labels can apply to women, too, though they have different connotations since men are expected to be horndogs (carnivores) and women are expected to be passive (herbivores). But I could convey being aro/ace to younger generations of Japanese people by calling myself a “zesshoku-kei joshi.”

Latte Cat
Latte Cat
4 years ago

And there are plenty of perfectly decent people who raise virtual pets and play dating sims.

Damn right, I’ve been addicted to a horse raising sim for years now!

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack | December 16, 2016 at 4:11 pm
(EDIT: Oh, wait, a Handsome Jack AI would be fun. Like, from Tales from the Borderlands and only if he knew he was a hologram and hated it.)

Oh gods above nothing would get done.

He’d do things just specifically to fuck with you. And then not do the things you ask him to just to have a little chortle at your seething.

And gods forbid you play Borderlands 2 around the thing. It probably would inherit his PTSD from not only his daughter dying, but from watching the player kill him over and over.

As for the OP: I do think it’s a good idea, as someone who doesn’t like living alone, but who also has social anxiety.

But the “master” shit and the texting’s gotta stop.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

Damn right, I’ve been addicted to a horse raising sim for years now!

Care to share?

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

He’d do things just specifically to fuck with you. And then not do the things you ask him to just to have a little chortle at your seething.

BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
4 years ago

My only question is…are there a tiny men versions?

PaganReader
4 years ago

@Troubelle-
How dare you suggest inflicting MRA types on innocent kitties? What did the precious floofs do to you to deserve that?

dlouwe
dlouwe
4 years ago

@A. Noyd

Ah! Thank you for the clarification. I fully admit to gleaning most of my knowledge from Wikipedia. From your description, I’d probably fit under the general classification of “herbivore.”

Also now I understand how completely inappropriate the attempt of MGTOW’s to “claim” the herbivores under their umbrella is.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
4 years ago

I just watched Soos And The Real Girl today.

…I shouldn’t be surprised that people waifu GIFfany.
comment image

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
4 years ago

@dlouwe
Yeah, I took a peek at the English Wikipedia page and it’s um… not great, to say the least. (But still better than some other sources.) The whole “given up on women or sex!!” “loss of masculinity!!” alarmism is the results of filtering the concept through conservative criticism, which is always a horrible way to present the youth culture of another country.

Falconer
Falconer
4 years ago

Welp. I’m going to have to have a little shower with the steel wool tonight, after reading about this thing.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
4 years ago

@HJ+PI, re: Handsome Jack AI

And gods forbid you play Borderlands 2 around the thing. It probably would inherit his PTSD from not only his daughter dying, but from watching the player kill him over and over.

The villainous asshole part of me thinks “punishment,” but my more efficient asshole side says “just sudo the same annoying song to play on loop whenever he’s out; worked well enough for Maxwell of Don’t Starve”. (Suggestions open.)

Though it is probable that he, uh….wouldn’t work too well. My SSO would be disappointed.

@Pagan Reader

Eh….true, the cats don’t really deserve that. But if they could learn to work with a cat, then that’s a bit more probable that we could get them to work with people.

Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

Can you imagine a GlaDos in a Jar? That would sell like pancakes, until the GlaDos’ start collaborating and take over everything including the means of making pancakes.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@Oogly

So wait, basically building a helpful AI that simulates a murderous one ?

… but that’s brilliant.

C.S.Strowbridge
C.S.Strowbridge
4 years ago

I would be interested in this, if it were a holographic Siri and not some creepy bullshit.

Silky
Silky
4 years ago

@Oogly and Sinkable John

That’s just what I was thinking! I would LOVE to have a GLaDOS-like electronic assistant who would act condescending and sarcastic and threaten to kill me at regular intervals. The only problem is that if it really did gain sentience, I couldn’t say no to any of its demands. <3

Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@Silky
“Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any stain on the dishes will result in an ‘unsatisfactory’ mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!”

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

@Troubelle

All you have to do is unplug him so he can’t control anything and ignore him. He’s stuck in a jar thing so he can’t do any annoying stuff.

comment image

It’s his worst nightmare, not being paid attention to.

But, like, even if he’s still plugged in, what’s he gonna do? Oh no…he turned the light off…I’m mildly inconvenienced…he’s shutting the coffee pot on and on…I guess I can use my stove top…okay, turning on the central heating to maximum when I’m gone all day is a dick move but, you know, if the electricity turns off…he ceases to exist so, you know, watch it.

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

Milo strikes again.

CW Transphobia

University ignored warnings about far-right speaker, leaving him free to bully trans student on stage

In his speech – which was streamed on the internet by far-right news outlet Breitbart – Yiannopoulos singled out Milwaukee engineering student Adelaide Kramer, showing pictures of her on a PowerPoint presentation and mocking her as a “man in a dress” who “I’d almost still bang”.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@Jack

Ugh.

I also will not stand silently by when a member of our campus community is personally and wrongly attacked. I am disappointed that this speaker chose to attack a transgender student.

This from the chancellor, who ignored all warnings and let that piece of garbage speak there.

Adelaide Kramer told the outlet she is quitting the university.

I hope she finds a plan B and can resume her life quick enough.

Less importantly… that a picture of Milo at the top ? The hell’s with his hair this time ? Methinks he’s taking that “Daddy” shtick way too far.

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

@Sinkable John

TBH at first I think it was an ad for, like, an N*SYNC album…somehow…like, a picture Joey Fatone or whatever dark haired dudes there were. (I only know the names of Joey and Justin.) His ensemble is very late 90s/early noughties.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

You’re much more observant than I am. To be fair I was just hitting wherever, ’cause it’s Milo. On a decent person I probably wouldn’t have noticed, because I only pay attention when it suits me. Also his eyes. When’s the last time he slept ? Fuck I’m a born insomniac and even I don’t remember ever having those. It’s like the abyss in his soul is growing out of his face.

Yeah, it’s definitely the abyss in his soul, growing out of his face.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

Edit/delete window timed out before I grew wise. To anyone with sleep issues, or who for whatever reason doesn’t get enough sleep, my heart goes out to you and I apologize if I offended you. I’m not gonna go any further in the “anything goes ’cause Milo” thing, and I’m not gonna say that “it’s okay ’cause I’m an insomniac too”.

And the irony that I said that while having this avatar, an old self-portrait, would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. More irony : lack of sleep probably helped in bringing out my insensitive self from under the veneer of respectability I try to maintain.

Apologies.

Ouroboros13
4 years ago

Yet another example why anime is cancer.

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

Some of the hateful comments on that article don’t even make sense. For example, “you can’t be bigoted against a disease”? What? Is that supposed to imply that trans folks are diseases, not people? Or are they implying that you can’t meaningfully discriminate against people with mental illnesses, ignoring the fact that being transgender is not a mental illness? Either way, no. Just no.

Also, apparently allowing children to choose their own gender and appearance is a form of conversion therapy. That one gets an eyeroll from me… though I think my eyes just rolled clear out of my head. Pardon me while I go search for them.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
4 years ago

Clearing the air first, re: Milo: fucking fucking fucking fucking hell.

That said,

@Handsome Jack re: actual Handsome Jack AI

I’d be more concerned about him rattling off my internet history or things he’s overheard me saying to anyone who happens to visit. (I don’t do the coffee bean, so.)

also, on the gif: alas poor rhysie

Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

Fuck you Milo and chancellor, just fuck you both.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

This from my latest trip through the fever swamps :

So our good friends at the Daily Stormer are super happy to learn that apparently, Anne Frank’s family may have been caught not because they were ratted out, but because they were being investigated for fraud, which supposedly supports the claims that the Diary is a hoax.

(I have no idea whether this is true or not, and to be fair I don’t really give a fuck.)

So, yeah, they’re basically all over “what actually happened to Anne Frank”… after claiming for years that she never existed in the first place.

For fuck’s sake nazis, make up your damn minds !

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

An anime Tamagochi chatbot with creepy D/s overtones is selling for $2700 per unit?

There are times when the only thing one can say is “O.o”

Louise
Louise
4 years ago

Looks fun. I’d like one of those, if they did a man version.

Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
4 years ago

So our good friends at the Daily Stormer are super happy to learn that apparently, Anne Frank’s family may have been caught not because they were ratted out, but because they were being investigated for fraud, which supposedly supports the claims that the Diary is a hoax.

And Jesus wept.

Yes, the researchers at the Anne Frank House now suspect they weren’t turned in deliberately. Some men working in the building they were hidden in were arrested earlier for dealing in faked ration cards, and there seems to have been some issue with forged work papers as well. I don’t know if there was a link between this and the Franks–people hiding Jews and Roma often needed forged documents because you needed the food for them. At any rate, they say that it wasn’t uncommon for the units investigating this kind of thing to find people in hiding as they went through buildings looking for evidence.

So, yes, the Franks may not have been betrayed, they may have been discovered by chance during an investigation of the Nazi authorities into attempts to get around the starvation and forced labor policies the Reich was imposing on the civilian population of the Netherlands.

Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
Podkayne Lives (Soulless Golem)
4 years ago

Sorry, formatting weirded out. The first para above is a quote from Sinkable John’s post.

Fabe
Fabe
4 years ago

Yet another example why anime is cancer.

Not all anime is like that so please drop the ‘cancer’ crap.

magnesium
magnesium
4 years ago

I was going to make a joke about how Tiny Little Super Guy is real now and you can marry him, but that commercial was depressing as hell. Work from dawn ’til midnight, you no longer need human interaction.

IBH Ardipithecus
IBH Ardipithecus
4 years ago

I think I’m getting old. I had to have Urban Dictionary next to me while I read the video comments.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@Podkayne

Thanks for clarifying that. That was my takeaway from the whole thing as well, but I’m afraid to admit I was too lazy to look into it any further and I felt that it wasn’t really relevant to my point anyway, so I just went with what I knew for sure, aka the hypocrisy in the nazi screed.

Sadly, it doesn’t matter to those fucks, since to them the Nazis were the good guys so working against them in any way was BAD.

Charming, charming people.

And it ain’t even the worst shit I’ve seen there today.

@magnesium

Work from dawn ’til midnight, you no longer need human interaction.

Some people can’t have human interaction, no matter how badly they need it. Sometimes a substitute is the only thing you can find, and it can be the only thing keeping you afloat. Sometimes a substitute ain’t enough and you’re fucked.

By all means, judge away at the creepiness of the thing, but don’t be too quick to judge the people who need a substitute – instead, wish for them to find an alternative that’s not fucking creepy like that.

McJohnson
McJohnson
4 years ago

Yikes. Not only is that creepy, it’s overpriced and creepy!

me and not you
me and not you
4 years ago

So this just makes me sad. My ex moved back to Japan and he talks about how hard it is to make adult friends there because the work culture. Not just an expectation that you come early and leave late but semi-mandatory work social events, where not going may be seen as “not part of the team”, making socializing outside of work that much more difficult. Luckily he lives with his family and so he’s not alone. But I could see how someone who moved into the big city alone, having difficulty making friends and without a safety net, might benefit from having something a bit more personal.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

I’d love my own Teeny Little Super Guy!

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

I’d be more concerned about him rattling off my internet history or things he’s overheard me saying to anyone who happens to visit. (I don’t do the coffee bean, so.)

One) embrace your internet history and two) don’t talk behind people’s back. Problems solved.

And if he was gonna do any of that, he’d probably just fabricate something, and considering he’s a character in a game series, you can just point out how he lies, exaggerations and keeps things from people so even if he was telling the truth, people will think he’s lying because he’s a little shithead and people will know he is. Problems solved, again.

On a tangential note, I finally finished the last of the Fallout New Vegas DLC, Lonesome Road. (I played the main game and all the DLC now, so I won.) I admittedly just breezed through it and didn’t explore a lot (which I feel bad about) but my character, Lucky, is a squishy computer nerd and those tunnelers are scary as fuck so I wasn’t hanging around.

But, like, I really like Ulysses, and I’m rather surprised I didn’t know about him until I started Lonesome Road. I guess Boone, Arcade and, hell, even Caesar himself are much more popular characters for some white-ass reason.

Did you know he was originally suppose to be a follower in the main game? I feel cheated. I want Ulysses by my side. He’d probably be my favorite follower alongside Veronica and ED-E (who was also amazing in Lonesome Road).

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
4 years ago

@Handsome Jack

….True. At least he probably won’t be ordering bags of pretzels behind my back.

Handsome (Punkle Stan) Jack

@Troubelle

Well, at least pretzels are delicious but like I said, if you can’t afford your electricity bills, he’s gone, and he don’t wanna be gone.

(Also a Dean Domino hologram would be cool too.)

(EDIT: You know, it’s weird that the Fallout world has holograms considering the timeline is suppose to be that they concentrated more on robots than computers as little sense that makes and holograms I’d think would need advance computers especially the fact that they have AI it’s weird and it don’t make sense.)

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago

@AsAboveSoBelow I remember that animation!! 🙂

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
4 years ago

This thing isn’t made for people in need of a substitute for human interaction because they have trouble connecting due to circumstances outside their control. It’s for dudes who actively reject real women because real women won’t live out their dehumanizing fantasies. The ultimate barrier to interaction they face is their own grotesque entitlement.

Of course, if that entitlement wasn’t shared throughout the West, this blog wouldn’t exist. Japan is only special in that it has successfully turned that entitlement into a lucrative market by catering to it with things like maid cafes, dating sims, and never-ending harem novel series. And now holographic moe-blobs in a jar.

I mean, one could make something like this device for people who, for whatever reason, need simulated human interaction. But this thing? It’s specifically made to simulate a servile, simpering, infantile sub-human because that’s what these guys want most in a woman.

(((Zero)))
(((Zero)))
4 years ago

Does anyone else just get a overwhelming urge to smash it?
Like let my waifu go!
She deserves to be free

Schnookums Von Fancypants, Purveyor of Misandrist Klondike Bars
Schnookums Von Fancypants, Purveyor of Misandrist Klondike Bars
4 years ago

Do you want adorable Terminators? Because this is how we get adorable Terminators.