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Open Thread for Personal Stuff, 12/16 Edition

Hug it out

A rather belated Open Thread for Personal Stuff. As always, no trolls, MRAs etc in these threads. Email me if someone starts acting obnoxious.

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Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago

@numerobis *waves from Yukon* 🙂

@mammotheers Best wishes to all and congrats to the ones celebrating. <3

Dalillama, Effort Chicken
Dalillama, Effort Chicken
4 years ago

I still have no firm information on what happened to my friend (mentioned in the Vox thread), but it appears to have been problem with her HRT. Which adds all kinds of feels to my day.

In better news, I start a new job tomorrow, which should help with my financial difficulties at least.

@Karalora

I dunno…why not ask a Republican?

Because they haven’t got ideals or principles, and don’t appear to understand the concept very well.

@general
*hugs* as desired, I’m afraid I have limited spoons for individual responses right now.

Falconer
Falconer
4 years ago

Dallilama, that has to be terrifying. Hugs!

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

Hearts and hugs to everyone in this thread, too! Seems like there’s some positive going on this time, which is great 😀 Not all positive, but that’s to be expected. Life is stochastic. New jobs, new treatment, new people speaking up – too much to respond to except in aggregate. Go team!

@Karalora, I know it looks gloomy to you – I feel that way at times, too. Please just understand that your perceptions aren’t shaped by rational thought – no one’s perceptions are shaped by rational thought. That won’t help you feel better, I know. Just try to hold on to a glimmer of hope, in the form of that fact – that, regardless of how dark it might seem to you, you’re missing a part of the picture, as are we all. Always darkest before the dawn, etc, etc. Take care of yourself first!

@Kevin, do you mean: “Noli illegitimi carborundum totus populi Mammoth”? Which means:

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/hignfy-brian-blessed-thatcher.gif

😀

@dreemr, you always embarrass me! Be careful with the “finding common ground” tactic – it’s very good, but it leaves you open for abuse and manipulation. May have experienced that once or twice before! Still, finding common ground is an excellent skill to have, both in problem solving and in self-improvement. I’m sure it will work well for you!

(I should probably also ask what anti-depression drugs you are taking, as that sounds like candy to me right now)

@PI, that’s adorbl. Also, great to hear that biodad is actually making payments now – I’m sure that’s a huge relief. I’ve started painting again recently, and – well, I love making miniature stuff so much. I don’t have the room for it, but I would be very happy if I were just given a few weeks and a heated garage with some tools.

I don’t tend to do dollhouses or rooms or things like that, I like outdoor scenes. Rocky plaster cliffs with resin waterfalls, trees made out of wire and shredded foam and white glue, teeny-tiny people, that sort of thing. So, related, but pretty different skill sets. Your little desk is adorable and I’m sure it’ll work out great.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

<3 Dalillama. All my well-wishing is for you today. I hope your new job pays you well, and gives you a little distraction!

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@Scildfreya

“I don’t tend to do dollhouses or rooms or things like that, I like outdoor scenes. Rocky plaster cliffs with resin waterfalls, trees made out of wire and shredded foam and white glue”

Well, in my heart of hearts – if I had the room and the resources – I would LOVE building a huge train model. I don’t even need the train really, I just love the detail they give the landscapes, incredible! But my other love is the miniature rooms like they have at the Art Institute in Chicago, perfect little reproductions of, like, rooms at the Palace at Versailles, etc.

I take Celexa and have taken it for about 16 years. I was always on a low dosage (10 mg per day) and then also 1 mg of Ativan per day. There was a time when I had neither for a year and a half and I gained 150 lbs as well as basically forgot everything that happened that year – it was a bad time of unemployment and single motherhood in a small rural town.

I now take 20 mg of Celexa and haven’t had to take an Ativan since last summer sometime. I still have it but I haven’t needed it.

Apparently Celexa works on depression and anxiety both, so maybe that’s what’s happening? I am not in any way shape or form a doctor or medical professional, though, I just do what my health care provider recommends.

About finding common ground: I should clarify that I am only talking about discussions with people I actually know, face to face and I stick to general things we all want as human beings – to be safe, for our family to be safe, etc. etc. I have been making some small inroads with a young man I work with who is very knee-jerk conservative but is at the least willing to listen and not just try to shout me down. I find asking questions is useful, too.

I’m still not at your level in confronting online discussion lol. But I do keep you in mind, “WWSFD?”

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@leftwingfox

Heh, I kinda glurged on the funding thread already. Sorry about that.

I completely get where you’re coming from. I only realized this thread was up after I’d done that, rather extensively, on a previous one.

@EVERYONE

All of the hugs and love from me and my cat to all Mammotheers. You’re the most awesome people I’ve ever had the pleasure to talk to.

For those struggling with a sneaky inner demon, I might have something that can help. Killing off Trump and his cronies would make us as bad as them, sure. But here’s the thing : it probably wouldn’t work anyway, so hey, no need to think about that ! A dead and martyred Trump would be even worse than a live one, and I can’t believe I just said that “worse than Trump” is actually a thing that can happen. Remember that fascism loses everytime, as it is bound to. Adopting it instead of fighting it would just ensure defeat.

Hope that helps quiet down those evil inner voices. Remember that bad thoughts don’t make a bad person, what counts is action.

For those struggling with self-worth, I’ve got something to share that might be a bit weird, but somewhat effective (as far as I’m concerned anyway). You may or may not know about it already, but it’s worth a reminder at any rate. I remembered a few hours ago that Carl Sagan pointed out something that is either great or not very meaningful depending on how you look at it. Personally I find it awesome. Here it be :

The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars.

And here :

Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return, and we can, because the cosmos is also within us. We’re made of star stuff.

So there. Look at your hands, then look at the night sky, and think about it for a moment : you’re literally made of stars.

Ain’t that awesome ?

The Last Unicorn
The Last Unicorn
4 years ago

Hugs to all that want them! You all are great.

I have so much to do today (retaking tests, finishing assignments, baking cakes, wrapping presents…), but tomorrow is going to my last day of school. And it’ll be a half-day, too. When I go home I’m gonna take a warm bath, put on pajamas really early, wrap myself in a blanket, drink some tea, and watch Cowboy Bebop. Hopefully that’ll be good enough incentive to keep me going today.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

dreemr | December 15, 2016 at 10:54 am
@Paradoxical Intention – as an artist myself I love when people are encouraged to pursue art and crafts. Your desk is adorable and I’m sure you can make it work the way you want. Very happy for you.

comment image

D’aw, shucks.

ETA: Just saw that linked video for the Room in a Box and omg how cute!! I have always loved miniatures and dioramas of all kinds and that looks like something fun and not too difficult or expensive to make, now to see which of my son’s action figures I can make it for…

My Froggy Stuff is an awesome channel because she makes everything out of cheap, mostly recycled materials! I love all of her stuff, even her older stuff. I’ve saved quite a few things on my Doll DIYs board of hers.

She came up with the cereal box rooms because she was running out of rooms for her doll stuff and wanted to make rooms she could fold up and store in a smaller space. She even started making doll rooms out of poster board that fold almost completely flat when not in use!

You just fold the poster board in fourths, then cut along one fold, and fold the two sides along the cut over one another, making a basic room with a floor and two walls. You can trim off the excess board on the sides, and voila! A foldable doll room that doesn’t take much space.

I personally like the cereal box rooms a bit better because you can also store the doll furniture and props inside when not playing, but she re-uses a lot of her props for other rooms, so that would make sense for her collection.

dreemr | December 15, 2016 at 12:07 pm
Well, in my heart of hearts – if I had the room and the resources – I would LOVE building a huge train model. I don’t even need the train really, I just love the detail they give the landscapes, incredible!

Fun story: I went to the state fair with roommates a while ago, and they had a guy with a whole detailed train set in the gardening section. I got really excited because the landscapes were awesome and he even had a little town with a fair and I was gushing over the details.

The guy playfully said “Wow, I did all this work on the train, and you notice everything else!”

I still felt a little bad about it.

He did let me see one of his train cars though! It looked like a ladybug!

Scildfreja Unnýðnes | December 15, 2016 at 11:55 am
I don’t tend to do dollhouses or rooms or things like that, I like outdoor scenes. Rocky plaster cliffs with resin waterfalls, trees made out of wire and shredded foam and white glue, teeny-tiny people, that sort of thing. So, related, but pretty different skill sets. Your little desk is adorable and I’m sure it’ll work out great.

I love doing rooms. It’s so much fun to design a room, and since I don’t have the money to do real interior design, this is the next best thing.

Besides, I can do tons of stuff with doll interiors that I can’t do with real-life ones. 😛

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@Sinkable John – and just when I was listening to this

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@dreemr

A-ha !! This is what I’d been looking for ! The whole time I was writing that post, I was wondering “where else have I seen that ?” and you just happened to be listening to it and now you’re posting it and answering my question.

This day is awesome.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

My best and fondest virtual hugs to all you good people, and my thanks to you all and above all to David for making this place what it is, and especially my condolences to Dalillama.
My penn’orth of good is that I have a lot of work this month; my penn’orth of bad is that this is already starting to play havoc with my RSI (which is usually mild-to-non-existent) and I’m only 1/3 of the way through it.
Thank you all for being one of the oases of smart and kind.

Sea Wolf
Sea Wolf
4 years ago

I’m glad that things are going well for many of the Mammotheers. 🙂 To those going through rough times, I send e-hugs if you want them. It never ceases to amaze me what a wonderfully supportive community WHTM is. <3

@Paradoxical Intention:
Thanks for linking the doll DIY video. I haven't felt this excited about crafting in a long time.

@Scildfreja: Your mention of making outdoor scenes reminded me two outdoor scenes I created when I was about 13; I had fun making them. One was farmlands with a church nearby, and the other was a cross-country jumping course I made for my model horses. I remember using loo paper stiffened with glue to make bushes.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

My ex friend who is distilled misanthropy is trying to get back into my life. Small talk such as informing me kn development of games we were looking forward to and how my current campaigns are going. In impulse I set everything to private, but why am I feeling a bit of remorse? I already know what’ll happen if I let him in again, not to mention the unlikelihood he’s doing it out of trumpgrets/need of companionship from not having any irl peers to talk to.

In other good news I’m getting closer to memorizing japanese kanji and am starting to speed up my understanding of japanese grammar.

Karalora
Karalora
4 years ago

Okay, everyone, keeping in mind that it is Evil!Karalora making these arguments:

@Falconer:

Reductivist thinking, action for action’s sake, ingroup-outgroup, redemptive violence: These are the ways of the dark side.

But.

But.

…they work…

Will we keep repeating “The ends do not justify the means” all the way to the gallows?

@Dallilama:

Because they haven’t got ideals or principles, and don’t appear to understand the concept very well.

And yet they’re the ones with the 100% loyal voting base, who somehow never seem to notice the absence of principles despite constantly bleating about moral character.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

I was holding out for the next non-personal open thread, but if Karalora’s going to be an idiot, I might as well post it now.

It’s Australia’s unofficial national anthem an old anti-violence protest song (minor TW for the video; due to the song’s subject matter, it has a DV scene and some clips of old wars). It occurred to me earlier that the non-Aussies here might not’ve heard it, so, yeah. Probably more relevant than ever.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@Oogly

why am I feeling a bit of remorse?

Because he was your friend, and because you’re compassionate, and those two things are enough that part of you wants to give him a chance ? It’s happened to me before, and I can’t say I like the feeling. As always, all the hugs.

Whatever you choose to do, take care of yourself first and foremost.

Karalora
Karalora
4 years ago

@SHFC

I don’t appreciate being called an idiot for trying to get the darkness off my chest.

Karalora
Karalora
4 years ago

Sorry. SFHC. Typo, didn’t catch it until the edit window had expired.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

Question, who would not want to he part of my troll dissection? I’ll be analyzing Yor’s responses to the rest of you too and I want to be sure of my limits. The link I posted earlier contains examples of what it might look like but on Pharyngula.

Otherwise it looks like I’ll have more time to write than I thought. I was in an accident with my scooter this morning. It was a best case example of what could have happened, but I still have bruised ribs and a golf ball sized chunk of skin missing from my knee. No broken bones or anything else from sliding at 30mph. Morphine was interesting. I’m going to try to be more interactive tomorrow.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

T-not enough hours until I fly north for the winter!

I have to pack two, 70-lb boxes full of stuff. One is done but my back hurts already.

Tomorrow it’s supposed to be a couple degrees warmer in Iqaluit than in Montreal. Odd.

I want to get more active on the ground in the new year. I spend too long online, where I learn a bunch, but now I’ve learned all this stuff to care about and I need to get out of school and apply it,

The other day my sweetheart attended a seminar about intersectionality and how it applies to public health programs. And she loved it! Just a couple years ago she was “not a feminist” (except of course she was, just “not that kind” of feminist). I’m thrilled 😉

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Brony,

Feel free to use his responses to me. There should be plenty of material there!

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

I wish I had some of that morphine right now. I can see why it’s so easy to abuse, breathing hurts, lifting my leg makes me grit my teeth. I hope I can sleep.

@weirwoodtreehugger
That’s good. There will be a lot of exchanges involving you. The things that Yor was willing to do in avoiding things and trying to redirect to irrelvent things was amazing. That was the sort of poster that made my pick brony as a name, it’s bait for people like that and tells me things about them.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It’s amazing how much a name or avatar can affect the way people on the internet treat you. I got treated as and referred to as a man when I had generic geometric things that various sites default to if you don’t pick an avatar. I pasted one of my comments in here to one of those programs that guess your gender based on writing style and it thought I was male so I guess it makes sense. But having an avatar that is a picture of a woman, even if it’s clearly not me because they tend to be Game of Thrones characters, whole different story. The insults got more vulgar and more based on how ugly I must be and I get called crazy or mean way more often when I make it known I’m a woman. Sort of the reverse of how trolls here are always condescending and dismissive of our male commenters until they say they’re a man and then they’re suddenly treated as the reasonable and rational one in the room. I’m not surprised that someone who indicates that they are a man who likes something considered girly would receive similar treatment.

Headologist
Headologist
4 years ago

Aw, you guys.

Congrats to everyone else celebrating – especially the little things, because those don’t get celebrated enough.

Commiserations to everyone having a tough time for whatever reason, but know I am daily impressed by the strength and resilience of everyone on this blog (David included, ofc.)

@Dalillama

I just read the Vox thread and this thread. I am so, so sorry for your loss, for what it’s worth. I’ve lost friends unexpectedly, but with the worries about hrt… I’m not going to pretend I can imagine what you’re going through right now, but you have all my sympathies.

@Paradoxical Intention

Yaaaaaay crafting. That desk is adorable.

@Aunt Lodger

That is the best cat story I have heard in at least a day. Seriously though, very cute.

@ all other cat mentions/people

Yay cats. My cat also wishes everyone well, or I’m sure he would if he wasn’t busy begging for food and sleeping on my chest. I move back to my parents soon, and although that means I get to see my kittens again I’ll miss this cat very much.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@weirwoodtreehugger
I’ve seen the pattern thanks to some posters on FTB. It’s a reason why I’ve started using craven and coward, the sudden connection between female/woman things flips a switch in their heads based on nothing but social conflict tactics. Whole sets of content, logic and reason go utterly ignored as the misogynist focuses on tone and imagined physical/social characteristics. I consider it genuine damage to a mind.

While not as intense, I invoke similar feelings wearing a thing connected to males that like something associated with what they hate. I think it’s allowed some interesting tactics but I’m still thinking about it. You can really monkey wrench in-group emotions depending on what you do with it. I think I’ve done a good-cop/bad-cop routine with me as the bad-cop. It says pretty shitty things about them and people in general (when considering what the pattern looks like when you can substitute sex/gender with things like race or other axis of bigot-bait). I hooked one on Pharyngula a couple of weeks ago.

I wish it were not like this for you.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective
4 years ago

Dumb question of the day: does anyone have any recommendations for debt relief / bill consolidation programs in the US? I have some old credit card debts and old bills I would like to get paid off sooner rather than later, and given my current financial situation, a series of monthly payments would be best for getting these things off my record.

And because the next time I need a cash infusion to get out of a money crunch, I would like to get a bank loan instead of going back to the payday loan place, ya know?

My thanks for any help given now.

Jesalin
Jesalin
4 years ago

I’m just about on my last legs. Every single bloody step of transition has had some kind of delay, and to be perfectly honest, I have no idea how I managed to push through and keep going. As I mentioned earlier this month, I finally got my out-of-province surgery approval. I thought I was finally in the home stretch and I would finally be able to get on the wait-list for my bottom surgery.

Yeah, no. I got the info package from the clinic and finally clued into something I’ve known, or should have known considering I have a copy of the Standards of Care v7 printed out. I have one referral letter for my surgery, the SoC v7 requires two. The cluster-fuck system here hasn’t figured out that v7 replaced the v6 they are still using, roughly 5 years ago (which is both before I even started transition, and also before the province even re-instated coverage for any trans* related surgery).
Oh, and the clinic requires that one of the two letters includes a six-month follow (yeah..the one letter that I do have didn’t do that).

So..I haven’t got a single idea as to where I’m going to get the second letter I need. I went though the public system for that, and the public system hasn’t yet figured out that the SoC is on version 7. In addition, even if I manage to figure something out, it’ll take a minimum six (more) months of waiting (and having more and more people put on the wait-list ahead of me). Oh, and the out-of-province approval is only valid for a year.

I hate this, I hate all the waiting, I hate all the screw-ups that have caused me to have to wait even longer, and I bloody well hate life. Although apparently I don’t hate it quite enough yet because I’m still breathing.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Jesalin

I hate this, I hate all the waiting, I hate all the screw-ups that have caused me to have to wait even longer, and I bloody well hate life. Although apparently I don’t hate it quite enough yet because I’m still breathing.

I’m sorry to hear that your plans have been frustrated. Waiting…and waiting…and waiting is the worst. No, even worse is getting your hopes up and then having them dashed.

Once you’re done feeling like shit, consider finding something in life to love. Maybe a blue sky. That can keep you going.

Stay strong.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Sinkable John

Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return, and we can, because the cosmos is also within us. We’re made of star stuff.

That’s amazing.

When I was in high school my literature teacher told us that the early nineteenth-century American writer Edgar Allan Poe had made up his own religion. He believed that when we die we return to the stars. (I can’t find any corroboration of this on the Internet.)

I found this viewpoint comforting. And now it turns out that it’s more than a belief.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, stars to stars.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Brony

I still have bruised ribs and a golf ball sized chunk of skin missing from my knee.

I’m so sorry! Take good care of yourself.

Question, who would not want to he part of my troll dissection? I’ll be analyzing Yor’s responses to the rest of you too and I want to be sure of my limits.

I think Yor was the one who called me a troll. Laziest troll ever — and he takes direction from Karl Effin’ Rove: Whatever you are guilty of, accuse the opposition of the same thing, so as to muddy the waters.

At any rate, I’m fine with being part of your troll dissection. Should be fun.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ kat & sinkable john

This always gets me thinking about where we come from. Of course what I’d really like to see is a comparison of slugs, snails and puppy dogs’ tails versus sugar, spice and all things nice.

http://thumbnails.visually.netdna-cdn.com/abundance-of-elements_520164043c6e6.jpg

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The University of Minnesota suspended 10 football players for sexual assualt and now the rest of the team is protesting by boycotting all football activities which may include their bowl game. Assholes. Once again people are more outraged by men being punished for sexual assualt than women being sexually assaulted. Bros before hos! I had better damn well not hear anyone defending this shit today.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

They’re saying 50-50 whether my flight will be canceled because of a blizzard in Iqaluit.

I’d be sad, but better sad than crashed.

I definitely feel like an immigrant, sitting in the gate area. Which I am — I just don’t get reminded of it often.

Also, the guy next to me has a cat. An adorable, curious and slightly freaked-out cat, on a leash. I was so sad to leave my kitties at home all alone (family will housesit).

Karalora
Karalora
4 years ago

I want to apologize for my persistent pessimism. I’ve been in a really nasty place (obviously) and hadn’t had any place I could articulate those thoughts, so they were just building and building. I stayed up late last night and had a go at drafting letters to people in high places, and it helped.

No more nastiness from me. At least, no more curmudgeonly insistent nastiness. But I know my brain well enough to know those thoughts aren’t gone for good. Anyone have any ideas for keeping them from turning me into something evil?

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

Karalora: optimism and hope mixed with exactly the right amount of cynicism is my only advice.

My flight is leaving, hopefully we can land despite the blizzard. So many cute babies on this flight!

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@Brony – ouch! Heal up quickly, and I hope regular pain relievers like ibuprofen help a little?

@Jesalin – I am so sorry to hear of these delays. Don’t lose hope. You’ve gotten this far. Waiting really is one of the worst things we endure.

@numerobis – be safe!

@Redsilkphoenix – I do not know of any credible debt-consolidation companies. HOWEVER, if you are at all able to get a personal loan to pay off old credit card debt, I would suggest you try that first. I imagine you either believe you won’t qualify or else things are simply quite dire indeed, but give it a shot. That would at least keep the interest rates down. Go to a bank or credit union where you have an account, and sometimes they have someone there who is a debt consolidation advisor and can help you plan a strategy.

I’m sorry you got trapped in the payday loan scam. I hate those places, usurious and exploitative of vulnerable people. Avoid them at ALL COSTS, even if it means going to the food bank an extra week.

Use the internet to get free advice in how to reduce your debt. You’ve probably already researched but the federal government does offer guidelines for you to find lower-cost alternatives here. If some of your accounts are in collection, call the collection agency and see if you can negotiate a lower payment or a monthly payment. They also will sometimes accept a lower full amount. They can be difficult to deal with (their payment depends on collecting the most part of your debt possible) but stay firm.

Budgeting is a true skill and I don’t think anyone is good at it out of the gate. I have worked in bookkeeping and budget planning for businesses for 30 years, but my personal home budget was a mess up until about 10 years ago when I finally admitted I was just plain terrible at it and began using a very detailed budget I created in Excel to stay on track. You really have to practice, practice, practice. But I’ve been able, despite making only a modest living, to a) get completely out of debt; b) to buy my own home; c) to build a bit of a safety net and emergency fund; and d) build a retirement account.

So it can be done, it just takes time and practice. Good luck.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

Lots to reply to today. It is my birthday, so I’ma chill today I think. Not like work’s giving me much of a paycheque anymore!

@dreemer, you always make me boggle 😀 I’ve never been a role model to anyone, for anything. Thank you. And, so you know, the answer to “What would Scildfreja do?” is usually “hide in bed with alcohol and cookies,” in case you needed to know.

@Sea Wolf, tissue paper of all sorts can be useful! I prefer to use gauze and thin layers of plaster for surfaces, though. For bushes, it depends on the bush! You can actually get a lot done with those fakey green dish washing sponges, some glue, and a little baling wire!

@Paradoxy, I’m glad you’re table to salvage your desk. It’d make a nice little TV stand too, I think. I personally like to spend a bit of money on the structural components of something like that and buy a sheet of foamcore. It’s open-cell foam, maybe 5mm, with a sheet of card on either side. Very rigid, lightweight, easy to cut, tougher and more sturdy than plain card or cardboard. Comes in white and black, or sometimes you can get colours. Given that you probably aren’t swimming in dubloons, though, use what you got!

@Ooglyboggles, you’re feeling remorse because that’s what good people do when someone reaches out for sympathy and you don’t respond. You’re not fulfilling your part of the social contract. The social contract being “Women are supposed to provide emotional labour for men on demand.”

I’m sure you have made the right choice, you’re just feeling doubt, because doubt’s a natural thing to feel in the face of the situation you’re in. He wants you to feel that doubt – it’s how he gets back in. Don’t let the guilt trip get to you too badly!

@numerobis, I hope your flight goes through okay!

@Brony, you have standing permission to do what you like with anything I write! I’m glad you’re okay from your accident, and I’m also glad that the morphine worked on you. I’m apparently super resistant to the stuff. Was in the hospital at one point a few years ago and they had to fill me up with drugs like you wouldn’t believe to make the pain go away. (Fortunately for me, I’m still pretty lucid while in pain. Apparently the nurses were shocked I could talk at all, much less form full sentences and remember my please-and-thank-you’s)

@WWTH and Brony, about the whole “they go sour when they see a woman’s avatar” thing; it’s not really a defect at all. It’s a pretty clear indication of how sexist they are, but it’s not at all a sign of a broken brain. The addition of that avatar, or an identifying name, activates a particularly strong set of neurons in their brains, apparently, that’s all. The neurons connected to “woman in conversation” immediately light up a whole constellation of negative associations, made all the stronger by other, recent activations (MRAs don’t come here raw after all, they’ve been watching MRA videos or reading websites or whatnot. They come here primed.)

So yeah, not really a sign of a damaged mind. Their brains are healthy. Their opinions have just been left to grow out wild and have gone all lopsided. The dangers of ignoring your mental hygiene!

@Jesalin, that’s awful. I’m so sorry. Keep trying, it’s worth it. Just remember that whatever happens, you’re still a worthwhile person, and that no amount of being screwed around by an uncaring system will make you lesser. There are people here who are cheering for you, no matter the outcome.

@Karalora, you’re going through a dark place right now. That’s okay! It’s your dark tea-time of the soul. Just remember that you don’t get to decide how you feel – feelings are outside of your control. Accept them. This said, you do get to decide whether those feelings define you, or whether they are just happening to you at the moment. It sounds like you’re already making the decision that they’re something you’re experiencing instead of a core part of yourself. That’s good!

As for their tools being stronger – they really aren’t. They are individually powerful, because they’re willing to trash the social contract between individuals to accomplish their goals. This lets them do things that we don’t let ourselves do, by convention. But what they gain in individual power, they lose in group cohesion and coordination.

Their strategy is ever-fractioning, with each individual able to take as much as they can grasp, but only ever relying on their own capabilities. Our strategy pulls people together. We limit ourselves and call those limits “ethical behaviour”, but in doing so we are capable of so, so much more than they. Cooperation has always been the greatest strength of humanity. That hasn’t changed.

Individual men (and it’s almost always men) might have statues carved of them, or have their names written down in stories – usually immortalized as monsters. But we’re the ones who built the pyramids, lifted the stones of Stonehenge, and cut the steps of Chichen Itza. The Great Men of History have always put their names on the accomplishments of humanity, but they’ve never been anything more than the vultures arriving at the end to steal scraps. It’s always been us – the great bulk of humanity – who’ve pulled together and endured and lived, trying to leave behind something greater than we found when we got here.

It’s dark times, and you’re allowed to feel grim. Don’t be upset at yourself for it. Just don’t let it define you, or you’ll end up like they are, one of the vultures outside of the circle. You don’t want that, and neither do we!

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

Oh, yes. I wish I could help @redsilkphoenix, but I don’t know where you live! Here in Alberta there’s a government help centre that you can call for free that will help set you up with debt consolidation, financial recovery, and other related services. Perhaps there’s something like that where you live? There are often lots of little services like that, not often advertised but available if you go looking.

On that note, you could call your state or federal representative and ask “Hi, I am your constituent in such-and-such a location, and am looking for a government agency to help me with this. Can you point one out?” That way, if they say there isn’t one, you get to tell them to make one right then and there!

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

Sigh. Still on the ground.

We were good to go, and there was a mechanical problem.

It’s great how open the airline is though. Chatting about weather with the passengers. Mentioning the decision criteria. Not being coy on the phone to keep people from overhearing that e.g. Kuujjuaq airport (our layover) is starting to close, or that we’re being sent on the weekend if it’s cancelled because they have to pay hotels because it’s mechanical, not weather.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

Kuujjuaq came through!

Iqaluit closed.

They initially rebooked me to Wednesday next week. With some minor wrangling I’m leaving Ottawa instead, on Sunday morning. I’ll need to leave at a stupid hour to get there. Luckily it seems a rental company is trying to ship cars to Ottawa, so I’m getting a super cheap rate ($11/day?!)

Also I’ll probably send the bill to the airline.

Also I have a $200 voucher.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes it’s your birthday ?!?!?

Many many many many many many heaps of happy returns! Thank you for being a VIP – Very Inspiring Person 🙂

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago

@Scildfreja Hippo birdies, fellow Canuck! 🙂

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago
numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

@Scildfreja: It’s your birthday, you can blog if you wanna. 😉

@Fishy Goat: hi! missed you way up there. But I think Iqaluit is closer to Montreal than Whitehorse? Maybe not as the great circle routes, but certainly as the mail plane flies: express mail IIRC goes from Whitehorse to Edmonton to Montreal (or Ottawa) to Iqaluit.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

aaaw, you guuyse :3

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

Been looking all over the Internet for a suitable happy birthday meme for Scildfreja, but then Alan found and posted it first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

Hugs for everyone!

If you are suffering tragedy or afraid of things to come in society you should know that those are factors in how I dissect trolls. I try to make my communications useful as well as expressive in tone so I bias how I analyze the world in terms of ways to change society. What I call “Dissection of trolls” is actively shaped by the concerns of people that I like. I’ve spent decades trying to socially objectify the characteristics of aggression and conflict on the internet because of how my instincts shape my attention in social situations. Because I am a white male American with a assertive and aggressive personality who comes from a conservative and traditionalist background I’ve been focusing on using the psychological reality of that in objectifying the benefits I have due to social privilege. I get to see how the bullshit is shaped from the perspective of someone in the in-group of xenophobic bigots.

Because I try to be empathetic I allow the fears of other people write themselves to my attention and perception. I let them alter my behavior for social reasons. The fears of people I like are actively biasing what I look at in my dissections. These dissections are done with tools based on the experiences of people who face xenophobia and bigotry based social attacks. Those experiences also determine what I actively strategize against as I read what they write and help them with fights in social spaces online. So when I dissect a troll the objects that I pull from the patterns are meant to be useful in creating social tools that can be used for attack and defense in a more group-neutral way that helps people I like to change the world too. Anything that I am in terms of impressive skills and abilities is due to the experiences of others and I like to pay them back as best as I can.

In this dissection I intend to standardize an analysis so that there are consistent elements for others to try to look for if they choose. There will be an introduction that explains what is about to be read and contains one or more useful pieces of vocabulary/concepts (Social Affordances. There will be a “sociography” which is like a biography of how I experience the troll as a person relative to the kind of person I am. It’s important to try to humanize the other person as much as you can, and understand how your personal biases shape your perception and experience of them. Then there will be the dissection of Yor from a conflict frame of reference. I will be discussing moral and ethical concerns of lots of things as it progresses.

The result should yeild a set of interesting and useful ways of creating things I think of as perceptual social affordances, the sensible general patterns in society that can be sensed, ruminated about, and manipulated like variables in social interactions.

@Paradoxical Intention
I really wished I could have gotten the full experience of Borderlands 2 with a group I really enjoyed it on the xbox360 but the old friend that I used to play it with is not someone I can socialize with comfortably. I’m the sort of person that enjoys grinding for rare and powerful things that blow stuff up and shoot stuff. I also love the characters and humor in the game and how they do things like make a whole expansion based on a role-playing session between the characters in the game. Awesome fun.

@Dalillama
My condolences on losing your friend. I hope that everything turns out as best as it can.

Re: common ground.
That can be done in a rational and fair manner that at least defines the amount of ground that you need to cover between you and the other person. I think of it as energy saving and excellent ways to limit where the conversation should go. Things like specific 1st party needs for assessing claims and other rational demands, or mutually defining words associated social tension to streamline understanding, understanding the things most important to the other person, making sure you/they can offer a version what the other person is communicating that satisfies them in terms of accuracy (both objective and feeling based content).

Eventually you develop rhetoric that can be applied to attached social appeals included with responses that can deal with people who are only acting in a social conflict behavior and not interested in communication. There is a minimum set of things that let you look at something for yourself and in a social conflict that is useful when dealing people who only want to win and are not receptive to being correct about reality.

@Jesalin
Is there a system in place for challenging the letter requirement? What is the letter requirement supposed to prove to safeguard against?

@Kat
I will be OK. I’m experiencing the reality of my body experiencing some minor damage due to forces and blunted impacts. While the safety equipment did it’s job (the proper pants in addition to the jacket and gloves would have spared my knee), it’s going to suck to move, get up, sit down flex my right side joints… The whole thing was interesting in retrospect. I was calm and logical from staying limp to prevent broken bones, to watching for cars as I stumbled to the curb and other reactions to the event. I hydroplaned while going under the speed limit and breaking behind a car making a left during cold and misty weather. I did what I was supposed to and the scooter still slipped and I slid along with it. I was fortunate and the bystanders gave me more positive feelings for society in general. I’m getting over the fear of calling the motorcyclist back that asked for my number to see how I am doing.

I’m hoping I’m physically flexible enough to work by Monday.

@Alan Robertshaw
I’m always fascinated by the biological uses of things that are not mentioned much in a basic education in biology and biochemistry. All the Not H, C, O, N, S, P, Na, Cl, K, Ca, Mg, and Co. Like how selenium is used in protein synthesis.

@dreemr
I’m on Tylanol-Codine. I can have Ibuprofin between doses and it takes the edge off enough to sleep and get out of bed.

@Scildfreja
Thank you. My concern about including specific other people involved in social criticism is unintended effects from the nature of the social conflict we find ourselves in. I’m going to be willing remove any name that wants to be removed with the exception of Yor (who has a list of reasons why overt and explicit social criticism was warranted).
That sucks about the efficacy of pain killers for you. Does anything work well that you know of? In my case the I was mentally alert and coherent while experiencing the reduction in pain. Little to no euphoria which is probably a good thing, though I don’t have specific information about what they dosed me with.

To be more specific about what I mean by “damage to a mind”, I acknowledge the riskiness of the social impact of the term and welcome your perspective on it. I see a bigot as having damage to the human equivalent of software. Parts of the brain and mind it generates that can be altered by self and socially inspired behavior modification during the ones lifetime. While the social filters that we use are hard to objectively define in terms that easily satisfy common experience, I think that it’s reasonable to call brain/mind-software level social filters that generate fear driven irrational and illogical social biases as damage to a mind. But if you have a better way to socially interact with these things I would be happy to consider it. My way of conceptualizing this is compatible with what you described (It’s interesting to think about the biases associated with things like ecstasy, vigilance, surprise and other things in addition to anger and fear).