Feminists! If you’ve been wondering why you’re a feminist and what you believe, I’ve got some great news for you. A dude in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit has the answer, and will be happy to explain you to you. It involves grunting.
No, thank you!
EDITED TO ADD: There’s PROOF of this whole grunting thing. I found a super-seekrit training video in which a woman teaches other women to grunt!
@ Handsome Jack, my google said Montana does local tax too. That’s all I know.
@ Dalilama,
When I picture Nosferatu / Dracula / Lestat in the New World, I like to think they would adapt to local pest and vermin availability. Rats, roaches; or seagulls, possums, geckoes, mynah birds, ibises, feral ex pets. They are ancient bloodsucking douches, but not necessarily food snobs.
As a penis having person I fully support uterus having people having access to tax free (or even -gasp- socialized) menstrual hygiene products.
Also taking your baby to be approved/blessed by a bear sounds like a druid or pagan thing.
I do believe that the always charming Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (love the nym — so seasonal! so festive!) gets sexually aroused by the idea of menstrual blood.
And that’s why he’s here.
A therapist clued me in to this phenomenon. And a quick Google search reveals something called “blood hounds.” (Okay, that therapist didn’t mention that these guys had a name.)
@Weird Eddie
I’m so sorry to hear that you and your son are both encountering issues at work.
We’re going to all need to stay strong in the coming months because Trump.
Hang in there.
I hope that a solution to these work difficulties reveals itself.
Now that we are on the menstrual cycle here, does anyone happen to know that gif where there’s a clip from some horror game and the player sees “Help me” written on the wall in blood and a trail of it leading to a bathroom, so once you start moving again, the subtitles say “Hold up, girl! I’m gonna get you a tampon” or something to that effect…?
Not quite on the subject of menstruation but on lady parts. Apologies if it’s a bit TMI. Since there are many older wiser women here I was wondering if you could help me. I got a flyer through the door from the NHS telling me I should be getting a cervical smear soon. Gulp. I’ve never had one before. Also never had sex or used a sex toy or even worn a tampon – literally nada has been in my love tunnel before. Add that to the fact that I’m really very personal and don’t like to be touched in any way except for the occasional hug and I’m kind of freaking out over here to the point of tears in my eyes. Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m not.
I know I have to get it done, especially since the NHS is set to go into meltdown sometime soon so I better do it before the storm hits the health care system. But I really really really would avoid this forever if I could.
Please do tell me what to expect, what to ask for to make it easier and how to get through it with minimal panic. Thanks.
Sunnysombrera, if you’ve never had sex you probably don’t need a smear test – your level of risk is much lower. However, if you do want to get it done for peace of mind, there are some details about what to expect here
It’s a bit uncomfortable, but shouldn’t be any worse than that. It’s probably worth letting the nurse know that you’ve not been penetrated before – they have different size speculums (the tool they put inside you) and a smaller one may be more appropriate. There isn’t much touching – the nurse will ask you to take off your trousers and underwear and lie on a bed with your knees up, will insert the speculum and take a quick swab. It takes a few minutes, and staff doing it are well used to people being nervous or embarrassed.
Wow. The bitterness and projection in the OP is breathtaking, and not in a good way.
Also, it never ceases to amaze me how these MGTOW guys get so riled-up, yet women are the “emotional” ones. I’m reminded of a blog post (to any trolls, I know it isn’t peer-reviewed, but I think the point is valuable), which says that when men are frustrated or angry, whatever comes out of their mouths is treated as logic.
It’s not “hilarious”, Miggy. It’s another way to restrict access to medical procedures for people who have uteruses. Are you at all aware of how expensive funerals are? And that’s on top of some women needing to travel really far just to get to a clinic because they keep passing unnecessary regulations to force those clinics to shut down. Plus the mandatory waiting period in Texas means they already have to get funds for a hotel and to take time off work on top of the travel cost and cost of the procedure. That was already difficult to manage but you add in a funeral, which I just checked the average in Texas is around $10,000. That’s way more than most people can afford, and certainly less than most people can raise before hitting 12 weeks to get the safest abortion procedure available. That’s, of course, assuming it’s an unwanted pregnancy. For sudden complications during a wanted pregnancy that create the need for an immediate abortion, the family is now stuck with a lot of extra expense on top of their mourning.
@sunnysombrera
TMI right back at you: I hate being touched for the most part (my husband is the exception). I don’t even like hugs from most people. That said, I don’t really mind the regular cervix screenings and even if you’re not sexually active you can have abnormal cell growth, so it’s good to get it done.
You should let the doctor know it’s your first time. They will tell you everything they are about to do before they do it. They have a device called a speculum that they put some lubricant on and then insert. My doctor always warms it up a little first under the tap. It can sometimes pinch, and if that happens just let them know and they’ll adjust it. It’s not terribly comfortable but it doesn’t hurt. They’ll scrape some cells off the cervix. I have a very sensitive cervix, so I feel a little bit of pain when they do that and I spot a little, but I understand for most people there’s no pain or blood for that part.
They’ll probably check your labia for lumps as well. This is similar to a breast exam, if you’ve had those – they just walk their fingers across the tissue and apply gentle pressure. They tell you what they’re about to do before they do it.
The other exam they’ll probably do is to feel your ovaries. This is done by applying a lot of pressure to your abdomen and feeling around. It’s uncomfortable as well but not painful.
Hope that helps.
@sunnysombrera
I don’t have a vagina or cervix so obviously I don’t have any first hand experience of this procedure. I just wanted to say that women in my vicinity have had some spotting after a cervical smear. From what I understand that’s not entirely unusual and not dangerous. I was gonna say the thing about different size speculums, but others have said it already.
@Handsome Jack
Apologies. Looks like that’s another thing I’ll be doing once I’m dragged back to one of two houses. (Also playing BL2 for my younger sister.)
“Ever since I’ve been banned, it’s like I can’t even post around here anymore. GOD.”
You know, Miggz, I would expect a crusader for liberty like yourself would have more respect for Dave’s private property (this blog) and his freedom to restrict access to it. Your inconsistency is shocking. Just shocking.
@Miggy the Moron:
You really don’t understand the whole issue of tampon taxes at all, do you? For that matter, you also don’t understand a whole lot of OTHER basic economic facts. Here, lemme break it down for you:
1. Nobody is asking you, personally, to pay for their tampons with your own taxes. They’re actually asking that sales taxes be removed from tampons (and pads) because they’re not a luxury item, they’re a necessity. One that every cis-woman (and quite a few trans-men) need, on average, for one week out of every month if they’re not going to bleed all over their clothes. And, shockingly, this process doesn’t even stop when someone becomes homeless. That’s right, impoverished people get periods, and can’t control when they get them, either! They have to be damn near starving, or deeply stressed and traumatized for their period to actually STOP. Meaning, again: Tampons are not a luxury, but a necessity. Even if you’re doing without a roof over your head, you will still need something to mop up that monthly flow.
And no, holding your legs together won’t stop it. All that does is (barely) conceal the stains on one’s clothes.
And yes, socialism would be a good idea. From each according to their means, to each according to their need. It’s a helluva lot more balanced than anything capitalism and its fairy tales of Invisible Hands could ever come up with!
2. Spare us the “masculine virtues” crap. You bozos faint at the mere mention of blood (which is only one component of menstrual fluid; there are others, including shed endometrial tissue). The tampon tax is nothing but a taboo imposed upon a normal life process by squeamish ruling-class cis-men who don’t understand even the most basic menstrual biology. Or to put it another way: Your masculine ignorance is not a virtue.
3. Private property isn’t the foundation of liberty, but of slavery. Remember all those Africans who got dragged across the Atlantic ocean in chains? They were private property, too. And women? Yeah. By using their menstruation (and taxes on it) to control them, you’re rendering women of all colors slaves. Idiot hypocrite libertarians, get a clue. Your “liberty” is bought and paid for by the enslavement of at least half the human race…MORE than half, if you factor in non-white people. You’re a bunch of spoiled whiny brats, and you really don’t like having reality intrude on your little beer party, but it’s going to keep doing so as long as there are people getting periods!
4. Why all the hate for Sweden and Iceland? They’re populated by the descendants of actual Vikings, who are a lot more complex than you knuckle-draggers think. They are are cool countries. Cooler by far than yours, and I’m not talking about the physical climate, either. They managed to abolish slavery without a civil war, and no Jim Crow or KKK in the wake of it, either. (It kind of helps that their slaves were white foreigners, not African.) And above all, they did it without any cockamamie flibbertigibbertarian ideology. Women are a lot freer there than they are where YOU live. You jealous? Or are you just mad because none of those lovely, free, fair-complected Viking-descended women want to hop in the sack with YOU? So you have to punish them by pretending that their periods are somehow a luxury that they can control? Yeah, that’s it, innit. As usual, it boils down to you idiots being utterly repulsive to women, so you double down on your stoopidz in an effort to “punish” them.
You really are one helluva sad sack, Miggy. See ya, wouldn’t wanna BE ya!
pahaahaahaahaa
oh, wow. Oh, wow. Welcome back!
“I’m not payin a tax because you ladies can’t hold it!”
aahaahaahaahaa
ahaha, oh gosh, oh wow. Whew! I needed that. Thank you!
I don’t even have to call you a misogynist or a sexist or whatever on this one! By the numbers:
1) Combine a horrible lack of understanding of a woman’s biology with an internal assertion of correctness and cognitive superiority (Bake 329 years). The results are magical.
2a) Conflate “Women talk about their biology in a place” with “Women won’t ever stop talking about their grody women things everywhere”.
2b) The reason you think “females everywhere always talkin bout their sin caves” is because issues that affect women are ignored if we don’t speak up. Combine this with 2a, in that men perceive women to be waaaay more talkative and argumentative then they actually are. (I have the scientific study on this one if you want it)
3) The whole “free bleeding” thing was a 4chan attempt to mock feminists. That’s why we assumed you voted for Trump, you’ve already proven yourself to be a sucker.
4) My favourite is the “I’m not paying for your gross blood sponges you vampires!”. It’s ridiculous, self-contradictory and wrong in so many wonderful ways.
4a) No one wants to tax you in order to pay for monthly subsidized hygiene products for all the gross slimy ladies. That’s not a thing.
4b) The goal is to remove the tax from hygiene products. You know, getting rid of a tax! Small government! Hands off our money! Rabble-rabble-conservative-values! Why aren’t you in favour of that?
4c) More an aside, this one – turns out that “make work programs” are what pulled North America out of the Great Depression! And have a proven track record of actually working! And we’ve got rigorous science to prove it! In the same way that we can show that the trickle-down Reganomics methods are complete bullshit!
Ah, Miggs. Never change.
@sunnysombrera
Others have covered most of the basics, but I wanted to mention that only a poor practitioner will send you immediately to the exam room and ask you to take off your clothes. Best (and most common) practice is to sit you down in an office first to have a discussion with you about your medical and sexual history, and your expectations for future children. This is your opportunity to mention that this is your first Pap smear and that you’ve never had anything in there before. You should also tell the practitioner that you are nervous about it so that they can act appropriately with you.
If you don’t feel comfortable with the person doing the exam, you can always ask for someone different. I’ve also been asked if it’s okay for a student to be present during the exam as a learning experience. You can say no to this and nobody will think poorly of you. I also cried after my first one. I’m not going to say that’s typical, but if it happens to you, don’t feel abnormal.
It’s not atypical to cry or feel uncomfortable about the experience, if anecdotes are anything to go by.
I spent a good 15 minutes on that first doodle. A quarter of an hour. You better. /s
@Bina
Didn’t Vikings treat rape as a violent crime against the woman at the same time Europe was treating it as a property crime against her husband/father to whom damages would be paid?
sunnysombrera: Having a friend in the room with you might help. Agreed, though, that if you’ve never been sexually active you might not need the smear – ask your doctor. If you have friends you can talk about such things with, you can ask them if they know a particularly good doctor for making the whole thing less uncomfortable.
The lubricant from the speculum tends to make things a bit messy; you might want to take a pad to put in your pants afterwards. And go have a coffee or do something else fun after, too.
WHAT DID I DO lol
“engorged jungle gutters” “flooded floozy tunnels”
It’s like Christmas came early!
And the tampons will be delivered by elves riding unicorns.
And, ummm, why do right wingers try to portray countries like Iceland and Norway as terrible, terrible places when they regular show up in top ten of ‘quality of life’ lists? Kind of reminds me of Bill O’Reilly claiming that the Netherlands is a crimeridden hellhole.
This gif is for you, Miggs.
I think miggs listens to too much Mark Levin.
LindsayIrene, if that doesn’t get rid of him, nothing will!
@Miggs,
Could you possibly stop having erections? Like, use your willpower and clench some muscle or something, so you won’t ever have an erection again? For the rest of your life?
Because that’s pretty much what you’re asking those of us with vaginas to do. You’re asking us to arrest an unavoidable biological process through sheer willpower. Do you understand why that’s not possible?
@sunnysombrera
People have covered the advice pretty well, and I especially agree with discussing it with a physician. However, I don’t know if this will make it better or worse, because I don’t know you (or anything about what helps you prepare for uncomfortable experiences), but I remember getting my first smear when I was still a virgin, and I think saying it doesn’t hurt at all might be overselling it a little. It never hurt after I’d become sexually active, but saying it won’t hurt when you’re a virgin might be a little like telling your kids that shots don’t hurt. For me, it was definitely not excruciating or unbearable, but I’d describe it as a little bit painful, not merely uncomfortable. And this was just my experience, so maybe it’s not representative. Anyway, if you get one, I really hope this may help you prepare yourself for it mentally rather than making it more frightening. 🙁
Thanks everyone for your words so far.
@Belladonna
Ehhh now might be a good time to bring up that when I once went for some radiology to check for ovarian cysts a few years ago the radiologist advised against doing an intrusive scan since I was a virgin. I don’t know if that means I’ll have trouble with the smear (hymen and all, and no I’ve never been horse riding lol) but then a small brush is a lot different to shoving a tube shaped camera up there…?
Anyway I’ll mention everything to the doctor. Thanks guys. Female biology is a bitch, huh. :-/