Feminists! If you’ve been wondering why you’re a feminist and what you believe, I’ve got some great news for you. A dude in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit has the answer, and will be happy to explain you to you. It involves grunting.
No, thank you!
EDITED TO ADD: There’s PROOF of this whole grunting thing. I found a super-seekrit training video in which a woman teaches other women to grunt!
@Cubist, @MrsObedMarsh
I’ve noticed that abusers like to make demands.
These demands are easy to state but impossible to carry out.
I think that abusers get a charge of out saying obnoxious things. It makes them feel powerful. Even if they have less than a snowball’s chance in hell of anyone doing as they say, they love to say the words.
I suppose that’s why one jerk says, “Hail Trump!”
And another jerk says, “Learn to control your bleeding.”
And here’s what I tried to add at the end of my comment (curse you, Edit Mammoth!):
Same, same.
It’s jerks all the way down.
Carolina Herrera says it’s an honor to dress Melania Trump
http://enews.earthlink.net/article/us?guid=20161206/80db770f-109a-45c8-a22c-941693989e1d
Hmmm.
I suppose I’ll have to continue to not buy Carolina Herrera gowns.
I’m curious if there is an actual medical reason that vagina probes for lack of a better term would hurt more for “virgins”? I keep thinking about it and it just seems like something that I’ve heard a ton of times that might be based on old ideas of hymens and the notion that vaginas stretch out of shape and never go back after piv sex. heard this for tampons as well but I don’t remember any comfort difference for myself with tampons before or after being sexually active. Anyone have thoughts on this?
@boobury
I think the whole “hurts vagina” thing goes to the fact that people inexperienced and uneducated about sex don’t know how to rev up a vagina (or even use lube) so it’s actually prepared for sex and instead going in when it’s dry as a bone and basically not ready, which hurts and can tear hymens and cause bleeding and stuff.
And, again, the whole “stretching out” thing probably has to do with the fact that the vaginal muscles do loosen when aroused and with people not knowing shit about vaginas, some would assume it’s because lots of sex because obviously the person is a slut if they’re having sex.
All of this is likely because sex has been a taboo in the US, and the vagina is just soooo mysterious, thus people are uneducated about it. I don’t know about outside the US but I think that’s the reasons inside the US at least.
Possibly also some correlation with feeling somewhat more/less tense/relaxed, perhaps? It’s not the circumstance most conducive to relaxation at the best of times.
@Jack, that’s what I was thinking about. It seems like that misinformation is getting a little better these days.
I would assume most people wouldn’t be aroused at the gyno, although they do use lube. I just don’t see how being a “virgin” would make the experience more painful than it would be for anyone else. It worries me that medical staff are still spreading this idea. Anyway, just a random thought I had while reading through. Reminds me I really should make a gyno appt. before they murder the ACA’s birth control rules.
@Booburry:
Well, as I had my first manual pelvic exam just a few weeks before my 15th birthday*, which was about a decade before I actually got around to having PIV sex, I guess I can give as good an insight as any: They don’t actually hurt more for virgins. At least not when done right. And by “done right”, I mean the doctor uses enough lube on their glove, is careful not to fumble around in there too long and hard, and doesn’t stick too many fingers or a huge, unwarmed speculum in there. Women doctors tend to do pelvics better than men, go figure. (My first was done by a woman, and I had subsequent ones done by men who bobbled it by using a speculum that was WAY too big for me, so there’s that.)
I should also add that I’ve been using tampons for almost as long as I’ve been having periods. I started at age 12. I have no idea if I ever had a hymen, much less what it looked like or if/when it “broke”. I only know that my first intercourse stopped being pinchy and painful about the moment that I relaxed, tilted the bottom of my pelvis up, and bent my knees.
I’m also incidentally thankful that I don’t come from one of those cultures that dictates that women have to bleed all over the bedsheets on their wedding night, and have the “evidence” of their “virtue” paraded all around town the next day. Ugh, how mortifying any way you slice it…
*If you’re wondering why I had one so early, despite being a long way from my first sex: I got hit by a car and suffered a broken pelvis at 14. The exam was part of the legal proceedings against the driver who hit me; I suffered a permanent bone deformity as a result.
Thanks Bina, that’s more or less what I was thinking. Hopefully the idea that piv sex fundamentally changes your vagina forever is something that dies off. I always ask for a woman doctor because I’ve found them to be more gentle as well.