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These Kellogg’s Breakfast Cereal Commercials Kill Fascists

Kellogg's Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart's tears
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart’s tears

On Tuesday, cereal and snack giant Kellogg’s announced it was pulling ads from Breitbart on the grounds that Breitbart is a giant racist shithole of a site and who would want to be associated with that? Granted, the Kellogg’s people were a little more diplomatic in making this point, saying simply that Breitbart isn’t really “aligned with our values as a company.”

Breitbart responded, naturally, by calling for a boycott of Kellogg’s, declaring that the company’s unwillingness to have their ads run next to stories about how birth control makes women “unattractive and crazy” somehow

represent[s] an escalation in the war by leftist companies … against conservative customers whose values propelled Donald Trump into the White House. …

Indeed, the move appears to be one more example of an out-of-touch corporation embracing false left-wing narratives used to cynically smear the hard working Americans that populate this nation’s heartland.

Breitbart’s Editor-in-Chief Alexander Marlow went on to declare, apparently with a straight face, that

Boycotting Breitbart News for presenting mainstream American ideas is an act of discrimination and intense prejudice. If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.

Naturally we here at We Hunted the Mammoth stand with Kellogg’s even though we’re lactose intolerant and don’t eat cereal any more but hey, we do sometimes eat other Kellogg’s products like Pringles and Cheez-its.

You can do your part in this very important cultural war by watching the following commercials for several different Kellogg’s cereals, including one that no longer exists, and also Pop Tarts.

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Falconer
Falconer
4 years ago

So, uh, all the Breitbart readers are going to go right out and buy cartloads of cereal, then scream TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! at the cashiers ringing them up, as is now standard procedure for a boycott, right?

Bina
4 years ago

conservative customers whose values propelled Donald Trump into the White House

Values like a jetpack-o-lighted-farts. Yup.

Fun fact: Kellogg’s was actually started up by an arch-conservative health fanatic who believed that a bland but nourishing cereal-based diet would kill the sex drive, which he believed was the source of all human weakness and illness. Ever see The Road to Wellville? That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. So to hear these ‘wingers whining on the tweeter about John Kellogg’s puritanism all of a sudden is hilarious and ironic, to say the least.

Bina
4 years ago

Also, Bitefarters? Your ideas are not “mainstream”, much less American. The majority of the people of the Americas thinks you’re full of shit. Eat your own knuckles, if you think that macho-man manliness is really good for you.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

Didn’t somebody try to burn a box of GM cereal (gay cereal apparently) a few years back and light himself up instead? There’s no way someone doesn’t do something even more stupid than that now the nazi brigade is on the case

Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
4 years ago

Glad to see this picking up steam. I hope to see more advertisers leave them. Also do those videos give Kellogg’s ad revenue? Cause i want to give them ad revenue.

Rhuu
Rhuu
4 years ago

@Bina: I think that Kellogg is also the reason that so many men are circumcised, actually. He believed it would make them less likely to… well I’m at work so YOU KNOW.

He also wanted to burn off sensitive lady parts with acid, but thank god that one never took off.

But I guess Kellogg’s as a brand isn’t pushing that, so I can separate those terrible beliefs from the company, this time?

Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
4 years ago

Well, I know what’s going on my shopping list tomorrow. I usually don’t get brand-name stuff, but in this case, I’ll make an exception. (And the SO has been wanting more cereal, since it’s his comfort food, so this works out well.)

ETA: Oh, Kellogg himself had some… interesting… ideas, but that seemed to be the thing at the time, y’know? Like with the original Graham crackers. Not that it makes what he did right. Just that it wasn’t like he was alone in coming up with — creative — “solutions”.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

Money talks, and bigots are angry at what some money says these days.

Tovius
Tovius
4 years ago

@VP Now I’m imagining their wallets chewing them out for being Nazi asshats, so thanks for that.

Rudi S
Rudi S
4 years ago

This seems consistent with Kellogg’s past actions; after all, they sponsored the Superman radio serial in which he battles the KKK.

wikipedia link: The Adventures of Superman (radio) – section “Clan of the Fiery Cross”

Rhuu
Rhuu
4 years ago

Uh, NOT TO DIMINISH what the company is doing at all! I’m really happy that they’re not advertising with neo-nazi hate speech websites. That’s perfect, and exactly what they should be doing!

It’s just kind of funny, that apparently none of the people at Breitbart ever googled and said “good, we don’t want their money anyway because of X”.

So, in conclusion, thank you for pulling your advertising dollars, Kellogg’s. I need to buy more cereal, I think I’ll get something kellogg’s brand.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

I’m learning so much about Kellogg today. And I’m really not surprised that bigots think that choosing not to support bigotry is a form of bigotry. They’ve always made that argument and there aren’t enough Picard facepalm gifs in the world to express how I feel whenever I read/hear it.

Eyes on the Right
4 years ago

Breitbart can feel free to create its own knock-off brands. “Special KKK” perhaps?

ikanreed
ikanreed
4 years ago

Welp, it’s nice to see that not every institution in this country is normalizing nazis.

Chances the average brietbart reader will understand that, say, pop-tarts are kellogg branded, much less boycott them is about zero.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Rhuu, @Bina
OMG. I saw The Road to Wellville, and I’m sure they didn’t mention anything about acid on girls’ sensitive parts. The thought makes me really mad.

I recommend Alice Walker’s novel about female genital mutilation, Possessing the Secret of Joy. Caution: Because of the subject, it’s a very, very tough read.

At any rate, I’m glad to hear that Kellogg’s has come down on the right side of this issue. As did Macy’s when Trump started his campaign — it stopped stocking his effin’ Trump ties.

I’m not usually happy about what corporations do. Apparently even corporations get scared when right-wingers go Way Too Far to the Right!

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Sour grapes.

(Tee hee)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

I am on pseudo-vacation today, so am a bit scattered! Haven’t been following as much as normal. womp womp.

I’m really not surprised that bigots think that choosing not to support bigotry is a form of bigotry.

That’s their most annoying tactic, in my opinion. They love trying to make people who disagree with them look like hypocrites and will twist themselves into absolute knots trying to do so. “You’re supposed to be tolerant of different opinions, but you’re not tolerant of my intolerance! Hypocrite!” Usually with the implication of “You’re just as intolerant as I am!”

… huh, which is in line with their accusation of “you’re all just virtue signalling”.

(of course, their error is in assuming perfect tolerance for all things.)

Anyways. As always, they’re just trying to bludgeon us with their pseudo-logic into inaction and acceptance. Abuse tactics writ large.

Im’a go have some cereal!

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Let’s just recap for a moment here.

– A huge corporation is pulling advertising in order to punish people for electing a populist leader.

– That leader’s supporters are boycotting the corporation’s products in an attempt to show that their society isn’t run by corporate fiat.

Did we… did we change sides at halftime, or something?

BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
4 years ago

“If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.”

I had no idea bigotry would be a flaky, sugar coated breakfast food. I always just assumed it would be something dark and bitter, like unsweetened chocolate bars.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

@Tovius

Glad I could help. We have to keep each other cheered in times like these.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

That’s Libertarianism in a nutshell: Corporate freedom über alles until the very moment it disagrees with them, at which point BOYCOTT MANCOTT MANCOTT MANCOTT BAWWW.

feartheminotaur
feartheminotaur
4 years ago

I’m a pretty peaceful guy, but this trend of claiming “not wanting to support my views is bigotry” makes me want to punch whoever says it squarely in the nose.

Because, you know, me saying “I’m not going to buy anything from your Hitler store” is totally the same as dude outside the liquor store that called me a “chink faggot”

Rhuu
Rhuu
4 years ago

Yeah, I’m getting some of that “If you don’t support my bigoted views, you’re the real bigot” from a family member, and it makes me want to scream.

…. ARGH.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

They don’t get it, too bad for them. It’s irrational discrimination that constitutes bigotry. Calling it discrimination is political short-hand, which is useful because it allows for tells to detect bigots.

Dr. Spleen
Dr. Spleen
4 years ago

@Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

I thought Breitbart was a conservative site, not libertarian.

brian
brian
4 years ago

i read about this last night and my “favorite” part is how they are claiming that CHOOSING NOT TO ADVERTISE on a thing is CENSORSHIP and BIGOTRY.
wat
srsly. wat
words can, apparently, mean just about anything to these people.

AW
AW
4 years ago

“How date you boycott me?!? I’ll boycott you first. I’ll boycott you more!” – conservatives, apparently

“My boycott is the free market economy at work, but yours is squelching my free speach!” – also conservatives

CPphazor
CPphazor
4 years ago

Tbh it’s good to see that people are taking more of a stand against this stuff.

Recently I’ve begun to see scientific racialism gain a bit more traction, such as this: http://www.spectator.co.uk/2014/05/the-genome-of-history/
I got into this after seeing one of those pieces which insinuated that the left was the real danger to science or something like that.

The 14% claim I’m already starting to have objections to (estimates here range) and the rest of it I’m still trying to process. It just feels off.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

brian | December 1, 2016 at 10:56 am
i read about this last night and my “favorite” part is how they are claiming that CHOOSING NOT TO ADVERTISE on a thing is CENSORSHIP and BIGOTRY.
wat
srsly. wat
words can, apparently, mean just about anything to these people.

Just like Anita Sarkeesian choosing to turn off her YouTube comments to avoid a deluge of bile is CENSORSHIP of her “critics” despite the fact they can go anywhere else on the internet to say what they want on her videos.

Just like twitter banning someone for hateful speech (or removing their blue checkmark) is CENSORSHIP despite the fact that in order to use twitter’s resources you need to agree to follow their Terms of Service, including the rule about not being a hateful douchebag to others.

Just like No Platforming is considered a form of CENSORSHIP, despite the fact that the First Amendment of the United States doesn’t guarantee you a platform and a bullhorn, just that the government can’t arrest you for what you say (eat shit, Mango Mussolini).

To them, not giving them a platform to spout their bile as loudly as they can at any given time, or using your freedom of speech to disagree with them or their views is CENSORSHIP and BIGOTRY.

Because words mean things.

Tony
Tony
4 years ago

You only need to read the comments on even the most innocuous of Breitbart’s posts to see just how “mainstream” and “heartland populating / hard working American” their readership is.

Hambeast (fan of diversity)
Hambeast (fan of diversity)
4 years ago

*updates shopping list*

I don’t eat cereal for breakfast, either. But I’m gonna get me some Cheez-its for Husbeast, some All-Bran for making cheater bran muffins, Rice Krispies for gooey cereal bars, and Corn Flakes for coating yummy baked chicken!

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
4 years ago

Oh boy. Another boycott that’s sure to show the leftist companies what for!

Also, while Breitbart is on the brain (much as that sentence disgusts me), what’s the latest on Bannon? Is a neo-nazi actually in the White House?

Weird (yeah, it CAN happen here) Eddie
Weird (yeah, it CAN happen here) Eddie
4 years ago

Boycotting Breitbart News for presenting mainstream American ideas is an act of discrimination and intense prejudice.

Kellogg’s does not have to take Bitefart’s money and support a platform for views they disagree with. Would Bitefart buy ads on websites whose views they disagree with?

If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.

And BIGOTRY is something Bitefart ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TOLERATE!!!!

I like this move by Kellogg. I really hope many, many more companies do this. Bitefart will survive, indeed in this climate, they will prosper, but they will fume and sputter endlessly at people who refuse to bow to the mob.

Bina
4 years ago

@Rhuu:

He also wanted to burn off sensitive lady parts with acid, but thank god that one never took off.

Yeah, things that can kill a person generally don’t catch on. Go figger…

Hilariously, this was right around the time that doctors were starting to use mechanical vibrators in their offices to cure “hysterical” women. And complaining about it because it got on their fragile male nerves. One can only imagine the sighs of relief they heaved when women started mail-ordering them for themselves.

And yeah, the cereal brand itself is totally divorced from all that, as well as from its founder’s OTHER once-fashionable fanatical nonsense. Has been for more decades than I’ve been alive. The people who started the Sexual Revolution probably grew up on Kellogg’s stuff, which should tell you a thing or two about how well it “worked” for its initial intended purpose.

Bina
4 years ago

@Kat: Haven’t read that Alice Walker book yet, but now I’m putting it on my “To Get” list.

And yeah. I’m a socialist and never thought I’d see the day when I actually bought capitalist cereal to spite a fascist. (Usually, I just do it to eat.) Corporations with right-wing fanatical founders are somehow not right-wing enough for these Nazis. Who consider censoring others to be somehow a form of Freeze Peach.

The irony, it burns.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ bina

And yeah, the cereal brand itself is totally divorced from all that,

You probably know all this already, but it was Dr Kellogg’s brother who was primarily the driving force for the commercial side. Theoretically the method for making corn flakes was a secret. They were a special feature of the clinic. But Dr Kellogg liked to explain his theories to anyone who’d listen; and that included showing how the flakes were made. One chap booked into the clinic and got Dr Kellogg talking (and presumably made a few notes). That guy went on to form his own cereal company so Dr Kellogg’s brother said that if there was a profit to be made on Kellogg’s corn flakes it might as well be by the Kelloggs themselves.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Speaking of branding, this all reminds me of something. We have a thing over here called Kendal Mint Cake. It’s basically just bars of sugar; but it’s popular with outdoors types as a lightweight energy source. There are three major brands and their packaging lists the various expeditions that their particular product has been used on.

We were once huddled up on some hilltop, freezing our asses off, when someone produced a bar.

“This is the one used on the Irvine and Mallory Everest expedition”

“How the **** is that an endorsement? You might as well buy the stuff Scott of the Antarctic used”

feartheminotaur
feartheminotaur
4 years ago

Shoppping at Breitbarts: An Alt-Reich Tale

So, I was out shopping and walked by this store – Breitbarts it was called.

They had a advert in the left window that said “For the Juden vermin in your life!” over a picture of an Auschwitz oven branded with the logo of the President-elect; all wrapped in a blue and white bow.

The poster in the right said “IMMIGRATION IS UNAMERICAN: IF THEY’RE BROWNISH TO BLACK – SEND THEM BACK” and, below the picture of men performing the Roman salute, were some shocking statistics: “88% of all crimes are committed by illegal (non-white) immigrants – 14 out of 10 of these victims are hardworking conservative white people. Any evidence you see or hear that contradicts this is a liberal mainstream media lie”.

A bit dubious it seemed, but you gotta believe everything you read! I agreed to disagree and checked to see if they were open.

Taped above the sign with the store hours was a piece of white paper printed in a garish font. It read: “No women who are fat or gay, have tattoos or their own ideas, or any other arbitrarily decided defect that makes our boner sad!!”

I’m not a woman, an immigrant or Jewish, so I decided to enter and do my shopping. That was when I noticed a series of decal letters that said “WHITES ONLY. COLORED ENTRANCE IN BACK” above the door.

Oh, that did apply to me. OK. Well, it’s a private business! Can’t have the government get involved just because it offended my PC snowflake-ness. I’m no buttercup!

So I sucked it up and went around to the back door. The pane was cracked and taped – It was not as nice as the front door. Wedged in the handle was a piece of cardboard with a warning handwritten in black marker: “For the safety of our white customers: All non-whites are presumed shoplifters or robbers and will be searched on entry. Any complainers or objectors will be harassed, prosecuted, and/or SHOT”

Well, I was warned, so it was my own fault if I did something wrong. After all, no one who is innocent would object to being searched. Safety first!

I opened the door and was greeted by an overweight white man in a red hat, Confederat flag shirt with a Glock openly displayed on his hip. Behind him, an older, clean cut man, in a five thousand dollar suit was watching: The manager.

“Morning,” I said to him. “14 and 88,” I said, referring to the poster in front, “Kind of surprising”.

“Are you questioning these statistics? Then you’re just a virtual signaling beta cuck white knight SJW, and you’re the real racist by pointing out it’s racist,” he said.

I was floored. Racist? Me?! I just wanted to buy a paper to keep up on the news! But after that…well, it’s a free country and a free market, so I decided to leave and not shop there; not the way I was being treated.

I said, “I’m sorry, I’m going to spend my money elsewhere instead of supporting a store that treats potential customers this way”.

Angrily, the manager charged out and shouted as I walked away:

“Stop discriminating against our store, BIGOT!”

Dystopian Epilogue:

That night I had a dream. In it I went to burn that store to the ground. When I got there, it was already closed, its windows being boarded up. People stood there applauding as they nailed the plywood over it.

The next morning I woke up and went out again. Now, there was a Breitbarts on every corner. There were throngs of people in front of them. I stopped one woman, and asked, “How can you shop there the way they treat people?”

“Well, first of all: Free Speech; second, don’t tell anyone, but I kinda of agree with part of it; and third, and most importantly, they say their prices are lower than anyone else’s, so who cares about that other stuff!”

I returned home, went back to bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I’m hoping I’m still dreaming, this is part of the nightmare, and I’ll soon wake up.

Dreamer
Dreamer
4 years ago

I usually avoid junk food but now I’m off to buy pringles and google what else they make!

Weird (yeah, it CAN happen here) Eddie
Weird (yeah, it CAN happen here) Eddie
4 years ago

@ CPphazor

That Spectator article is the same kind of mis-direction play that bigots have used since science stopped being done by astrologers. What the “racial purists” call “race” is a social construct. Genetics rarely addresses the subject of “race”, because it IS a social construct. There’s a shitload of reading matter on this subject, and it all points to the idea that racial divisions as the purists see them are not quantifiable genetically.

The important point, though, has to do with the meaning of genetic differences. Bigotry holds that because genetic differences exist, we should make social policy based on those differences. That social policy would be formulated to address some arbitrary list of “problems”, but every time one of those lists is compiled (and we have compiled numerous lists), it’s clear that the “problems” are unrelated to the genetic differences, but rather are CAUSED by social policy. Making social policy based on genetics is ONLY defensible if you’re already of the mindset that one particular race should be favored.

One sentence in the Spectator jumped out at me, tho…

People have an instinctive morality

I call BULL-HOOEY-GOLD-PLATED-POLISHED-SHIT!!!

We have a carefully constructed, very finely tuned SOCIAL CONSCIENCE, we do NOT have an instinctive morality.

From their earliest years, children wish to be part of a group, to obey its rules and to punish violators. People have an instinctive morality, a readiness to make any sacrifice in defence of their family or group. These and several other social behaviours seem to be inherent and therefore genetically based, even though the relevant genes have yet to be identified.

This is an unsupported leap. Humans DO wish to be part of a group, and that I believe is most likely genetic. The rest is learned behavior. Obeying rules, shunning outsiders, sacrificing for the group all are taught from birth, and from the moment a human begins to exhibit behavior, a reward/punishment structure is used to reinforce these norms.

The idea of an instinctive morality is the cornerstone of social darwinism, because it is the justification for making social policy based on “otherness”. “Those people are doing things that [we feel] are wrong, and since our morality genetic, THEIR genetics must be flawed.”

Ginormica
Ginormica
4 years ago

If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.

Bigotry, it’s not just for breakfast anymore! I’m so pleased to have served up bigotry at my Thanksgiving dinner as a crunchy topping for my sweet portato soufflé (Kellogg’s corn flakes, pecans, butter and brown sugar). And now I want to make some crunchy, gooey bigoted Rice Krispy treats!

Conan the Librarian
4 years ago

Is Breitbart’s claim that Kellogg’s is morally obliged to sponsor every media outlet in existence in order to support “freeze peach” for all, or merely to sponsor them to support their particular frozen peaches (or mangoes)?

This is, of course, a rhetorical question.

Weird (bite me, Bitefart!!) Eddie
Weird (bite me, Bitefart!!) Eddie
4 years ago

Bigotry, it’s not just for breakfast anymore!

… waitaminnit, I thought breakfast was supposed to be cold pizza and warm beer!?!?!?

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@Weird
Excellent point. We have instinctual processes that get tied to social behavior. Lots of little behavioral pattern generators come online and society is there to shape and prune them.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

Meh. Advertisers suddenly realize that Breitbart is a rag. They couldn’t have done that earlier, like, years ago when everyone else figured it out ? They couldn’t have done that instead of enabling that rag and the damage it has done ?

That’s poor timing. You don’t suck up to fascists before they’re in power and pull back later, watching in horror as you measure the mutual benefits of that association. Nah, if you’re gonna collaborate, do it all the way.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

Off topic: I’m beyond pissed at this. We already have two faithless electors in WA that are refusing to vote for Clinton even though she won our state and now a third who says she’ll vote for an alternative republican candidate.

http://kuow.org/post/teen-faithless-elector-washington-state-protests-trump-presidency

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
4 years ago

@kupo

FFS, that article. Just… when was the last time the GOP ran a truly moderate candidate? When was the last time in recent memory where negotiating was a thing the government did?

Rant/Complaint/probably OT

I just keep hearing this “We need to stop fighting amongst ourselves and work together, accept the results of the election, both sides.” I can’t

Just yesterday my teacher for the gifted program was disparaging the protests, calling them “riots” and basically saying that they were sore losers. I want to speak up and explain why people are protesting Trump’s win but its hard enough to do when it’s my parents, and my teacher is another matter entirely.

Does anyone know a resource that could help me figure out how to explain this to people? I’m sorry that I derailed everything, but I feel like this is the best place to turn for me.

Tl;dr How do I explain to people why the protests are happening?
End Rant/probably OT

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

I don’t think the people who handle the advertisements normally care that much where the ads go, as long as people are likely to see them. And in the case of online ad banners, they usually don’t even know which sites they’re being displayed on. It’s only when the heads of the company become aware that one of their ad hosts is something they don’t want their company to be associated with that do they avoid a particular place. And that’s not likely to happen unless there’s something in the news about it. This would especially true if they’re a mega corporation which advertises in tens of thousands of places at any one time.

So I don’t particularly blame them for not knowing about Breitbart. I’m also not surprised at this move, as Kellogg’s has long taken a stance along the lines of “We’re family-friendly, and racism isn’t”.

I don’t eat cereal (or pop-tarts) though, so I’m not particularly likely to start buying from them.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Cynical Optimist
I think I saw some links to articles along those lines in the anti-Trump resource thread.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@kupo
Whole fuckin year’s been leading to this. Ugh…

@Cynical

when was the last time the GOP ran a truly moderate candidate?

1956?

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