Categories
alt-right antifeminism breitbart drama kings misogyny

These Kellogg’s Breakfast Cereal Commercials Kill Fascists

Kellogg's Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart's tears
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart’s tears

On Tuesday, cereal and snack giant Kellogg’s announced it was pulling ads from Breitbart on the grounds that Breitbart is a giant racist shithole of a site and who would want to be associated with that? Granted, the Kellogg’s people were a little more diplomatic in making this point, saying simply that Breitbart isn’t really “aligned with our values as a company.”

Breitbart responded, naturally, by calling for a boycott of Kellogg’s, declaring that the company’s unwillingness to have their ads run next to stories about how birth control makes women “unattractive and crazy” somehow

represent[s] an escalation in the war by leftist companies … against conservative customers whose values propelled Donald Trump into the White House. …

Indeed, the move appears to be one more example of an out-of-touch corporation embracing false left-wing narratives used to cynically smear the hard working Americans that populate this nation’s heartland.

Breitbart’s Editor-in-Chief Alexander Marlow went on to declare, apparently with a straight face, that

Boycotting Breitbart News for presenting mainstream American ideas is an act of discrimination and intense prejudice. If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.

Naturally we here at We Hunted the Mammoth stand with Kellogg’s even though we’re lactose intolerant and don’t eat cereal any more but hey, we do sometimes eat other Kellogg’s products like Pringles and Cheez-its.

You can do your part in this very important cultural war by watching the following commercials for several different Kellogg’s cereals, including one that no longer exists, and also Pop Tarts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVfxF_DvBnI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpl_VSLpCzA

116 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Falconer
7 years ago

So, uh, all the Breitbart readers are going to go right out and buy cartloads of cereal, then scream TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! at the cashiers ringing them up, as is now standard procedure for a boycott, right?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

conservative customers whose values propelled Donald Trump into the White House

Values like a jetpack-o-lighted-farts. Yup.

Fun fact: Kellogg’s was actually started up by an arch-conservative health fanatic who believed that a bland but nourishing cereal-based diet would kill the sex drive, which he believed was the source of all human weakness and illness. Ever see The Road to Wellville? That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. So to hear these ‘wingers whining on the tweeter about John Kellogg’s puritanism all of a sudden is hilarious and ironic, to say the least.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Also, Bitefarters? Your ideas are not “mainstream”, much less American. The majority of the people of the Americas thinks you’re full of shit. Eat your own knuckles, if you think that macho-man manliness is really good for you.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

Didn’t somebody try to burn a box of GM cereal (gay cereal apparently) a few years back and light himself up instead? There’s no way someone doesn’t do something even more stupid than that now the nazi brigade is on the case

Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
7 years ago

Glad to see this picking up steam. I hope to see more advertisers leave them. Also do those videos give Kellogg’s ad revenue? Cause i want to give them ad revenue.

Rhuu
Rhuu
7 years ago

@Bina: I think that Kellogg is also the reason that so many men are circumcised, actually. He believed it would make them less likely to… well I’m at work so YOU KNOW.

He also wanted to burn off sensitive lady parts with acid, but thank god that one never took off.

But I guess Kellogg’s as a brand isn’t pushing that, so I can separate those terrible beliefs from the company, this time?

Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
7 years ago

Well, I know what’s going on my shopping list tomorrow. I usually don’t get brand-name stuff, but in this case, I’ll make an exception. (And the SO has been wanting more cereal, since it’s his comfort food, so this works out well.)

ETA: Oh, Kellogg himself had some… interesting… ideas, but that seemed to be the thing at the time, y’know? Like with the original Graham crackers. Not that it makes what he did right. Just that it wasn’t like he was alone in coming up with — creative — “solutions”.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
7 years ago

Money talks, and bigots are angry at what some money says these days.

Tovius
Tovius
7 years ago

@VP Now I’m imagining their wallets chewing them out for being Nazi asshats, so thanks for that.

Rudi S
Rudi S
7 years ago

This seems consistent with Kellogg’s past actions; after all, they sponsored the Superman radio serial in which he battles the KKK.

wikipedia link: The Adventures of Superman (radio) – section “Clan of the Fiery Cross”

Rhuu
Rhuu
7 years ago

Uh, NOT TO DIMINISH what the company is doing at all! I’m really happy that they’re not advertising with neo-nazi hate speech websites. That’s perfect, and exactly what they should be doing!

It’s just kind of funny, that apparently none of the people at Breitbart ever googled and said “good, we don’t want their money anyway because of X”.

So, in conclusion, thank you for pulling your advertising dollars, Kellogg’s. I need to buy more cereal, I think I’ll get something kellogg’s brand.

kupo
kupo
7 years ago

I’m learning so much about Kellogg today. And I’m really not surprised that bigots think that choosing not to support bigotry is a form of bigotry. They’ve always made that argument and there aren’t enough Picard facepalm gifs in the world to express how I feel whenever I read/hear it.

Eyes on the Right
7 years ago

Breitbart can feel free to create its own knock-off brands. “Special KKK” perhaps?

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

Welp, it’s nice to see that not every institution in this country is normalizing nazis.

Chances the average brietbart reader will understand that, say, pop-tarts are kellogg branded, much less boycott them is about zero.

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

@Rhuu, @Bina
OMG. I saw The Road to Wellville, and I’m sure they didn’t mention anything about acid on girls’ sensitive parts. The thought makes me really mad.

I recommend Alice Walker’s novel about female genital mutilation, Possessing the Secret of Joy. Caution: Because of the subject, it’s a very, very tough read.

At any rate, I’m glad to hear that Kellogg’s has come down on the right side of this issue. As did Macy’s when Trump started his campaign — it stopped stocking his effin’ Trump ties.

I’m not usually happy about what corporations do. Apparently even corporations get scared when right-wingers go Way Too Far to the Right!

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Sour grapes.

(Tee hee)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
7 years ago

I am on pseudo-vacation today, so am a bit scattered! Haven’t been following as much as normal. womp womp.

I’m really not surprised that bigots think that choosing not to support bigotry is a form of bigotry.

That’s their most annoying tactic, in my opinion. They love trying to make people who disagree with them look like hypocrites and will twist themselves into absolute knots trying to do so. “You’re supposed to be tolerant of different opinions, but you’re not tolerant of my intolerance! Hypocrite!” Usually with the implication of “You’re just as intolerant as I am!”

… huh, which is in line with their accusation of “you’re all just virtue signalling”.

(of course, their error is in assuming perfect tolerance for all things.)

Anyways. As always, they’re just trying to bludgeon us with their pseudo-logic into inaction and acceptance. Abuse tactics writ large.

Im’a go have some cereal!

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Let’s just recap for a moment here.

– A huge corporation is pulling advertising in order to punish people for electing a populist leader.

– That leader’s supporters are boycotting the corporation’s products in an attempt to show that their society isn’t run by corporate fiat.

Did we… did we change sides at halftime, or something?

BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
7 years ago

“If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.”

I had no idea bigotry would be a flaky, sugar coated breakfast food. I always just assumed it would be something dark and bitter, like unsweetened chocolate bars.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
7 years ago

@Tovius

Glad I could help. We have to keep each other cheered in times like these.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

That’s Libertarianism in a nutshell: Corporate freedom über alles until the very moment it disagrees with them, at which point BOYCOTT MANCOTT MANCOTT MANCOTT BAWWW.

feartheminotaur
feartheminotaur
7 years ago

I’m a pretty peaceful guy, but this trend of claiming “not wanting to support my views is bigotry” makes me want to punch whoever says it squarely in the nose.

Because, you know, me saying “I’m not going to buy anything from your Hitler store” is totally the same as dude outside the liquor store that called me a “chink faggot”

Rhuu
Rhuu
7 years ago

Yeah, I’m getting some of that “If you don’t support my bigoted views, you’re the real bigot” from a family member, and it makes me want to scream.

…. ARGH.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
7 years ago

They don’t get it, too bad for them. It’s irrational discrimination that constitutes bigotry. Calling it discrimination is political short-hand, which is useful because it allows for tells to detect bigots.

Dr. Spleen
Dr. Spleen
7 years ago

@Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

I thought Breitbart was a conservative site, not libertarian.

1 2 3 5