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Did Trump kill Castro with the sheer overwhelming power of his manliness?

Did Trump get the last laugh on Fidel Castro?
Did Trump get the last laugh on Fidel Castro?

Fidel Castro survived innumerable assassination attempts over the years, the most infamous being the CIA’s attempt to take him out with an exploding cigar. He died last week, at the age of 90, after a long fight against a debilitating illness.

But was it really the combination of age and illness that killed him? Or was it Donald Trump?

That’s the question being asked by a blogger calling himself Anonymous Conservative, a Trump fan and right-wing ideologue obsessed with some rather idiosyncratic theories about politics, evolutionary psychology, and the human brain, particularly the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for our fight-or-flight response to perceived danger.

AC thinks that Trump essentially terrified Castro to death, overloading Castro’s amygdalae with the sheer power of his manly essence. AC thinks this could be the first in a long line of Trump-related leftist deaths to come.

Already Trump may be cleansing the world of leftism. …

Over the next four years, leftists may begin dropping like flies, and it will be the physical manifestation of the ephemeral weaknesses of the leftist mind.

AC — who, it turns out, is something of a moral monster — thinks Trump and his fans should do their best to overload the amygdalae of their enemies.

I would even make helping that along a reelection strategy. Who know how many voters who opposed The Donald this time could be dead in four years, if his administration were K-selected enough?

I guess I forgot to mention that AC thinks liberals and leftists are the political equivalent of r-selected rabbits — docile, promiscuous creatures best adapted to an environment of abundance — while conservatives like Trump are the equivalent of K-selected wolves — aggressive predators built to survive in a world of scarce resources.

Docile rabbits? I guess he never saw Night of the Lepus.

You’ll have to read his blog for a fuller explanation of his assorted crackpot theories; he’s got a book as well, the ebook version of which is published by none other than Theodore “Vox Day” Beale’s Castalia House imprint. Because of course.

There’s no question that Trump scares a lot of people, though I suspect the overwhelming majority of them are scared more by Trump’s narcissism, his racism and misogyny, his autocratic impulses, and his complete and utter unfitness for public office than they are by his macho preening.

But for a moment, let’s pretend that Trump’s opponents are wigged out by his machismo. How exactly does this lead to their impending deaths?

In a previous post, sporting the lovely title “You Could Kill A Liberal With An Amygdala Hijack,” AC gives a more detailed explanation of his peculiar theory.

Noting that lefty writer Jeff Gillenkirk died of a heart attack last month just a couple of days after diagnosing himself with what he called Post-Trump Stress Disorder, AC suggests that it can be “highly stressful to the human brain to exist in an environment for which you are not designed,” especially for lefty rabbits now living in the wolf-eat-wolf world of Donald Trump.

A damaged amygdala, which has failed to develop the ability to resolve a threat, can leave the body in a permanently agitated state from which it never recovers, until it simply burns out.

That is probably what happened here, and while most cases are not so dramatic, mainly because the liberals afflicted are not so physically fragile, all of them endure physical costs. And those costs are produced by mere ideas and concepts they register in their brain. It is a critical step in grasping how the human machine can be hacked, turning the virtual and amorphous world of ideas and concepts into a physical manifestation of material reality.

Call it mental terrorism — an attempt to use “words and concepts” (and presumably Pepe memes) to literally terrify leftists to death.

Not that this is terribly different in practice than what many alt-rightists and Gamergaters and MRAs have been doing for years — harassing and threatening their assorted enemies in hopes of scaring them into silence.

While ACs talk of r-selection and K-selection and “amygdala hijacking” is more or less crackpottery, it’s certainly true that stress takes a toll on the body.

In other words, self-care needs to be a major component of whatever strategies we adopt to stand up against Trump and his fans.

All suggestions are welcome.

EDIT: Added the video.

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Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

Riiiight. Although the repeal of ACA might do the trick in some cases. So what if it takes out his own supporters, too? /s

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Wait, was Fidel a leftist? I seem to recall that he did a lot of not-really-leftist stuff.

But then again, I don’t know much about Cuba’s political history, so…

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

So, what are his thoughts* on Andrew Breitbart, who raged himself to death?

*I’m using a very loose definition of the word “Thoughts” here.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

Also, I should note that this guy has no fucking idea what r/K selection is. It doesn’t mean “Passive” vs “Aggressive,” it means “Many offspring and lower parental care” vs “Few offspring and higher parental care.”

So, even if it applied to humans (which it doesn’t, but purely for the sake of argument)… You have the two backwards, bro. It bloody well isn’t liberals who stereotypically have a Quiverfull of kids and a screaming phobia of sex ed and birth control.

Some Sort of Username
Some Sort of Username
3 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

Yeah, Fidel was left as hell, he formed the communist party in Cuba from what I recall. Not that it made him a good person mind you but I suppose someone’s political affiliation has never been a perfect indicator of their morals.

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
3 years ago

@Paradoxical

I think Cuba was communist if I remember correctly. So since the left is of course one homogeneous hive mind who share the same beliefs, we’re all like Castro.

Or something. The mental gymnastics this guy does boggles the mind.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

There’s always been a lot of magical thinking in conservative “thought.”

“If the government gives money to rich people it’ll trickle down to everyone else”

“If only there weren’t any taxes or regulations, I’d be a millionaire”

“If we get rid of feminism, I’ll be guaranteed a harem of hot young virgins and fat women will cease to exist”

But between “immigrants cause there to be no working toilets or dishwashers” and “Trump can psychically kill people” things are really getting surreal in right wingville.

John Howard
John Howard
3 years ago

I’ll never forget where I was when I heard that Trump had killed bin Laden . . . .

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Poor Fidel. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he saw America destroyed. But then he dies, just after Trump is elected.

jy3
jy3
3 years ago

What I hear is that if AC posts more memes, we can try to get him arrested for conspiracy to commit murder.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

I guess I forgot to mention that AC thinks liberals and leftists are the political equivalent of r-selected rabbits — docile, promiscuous creatures best adapted to an environment of abundance — while conservatives like Trump are the equivalent of K-selected wolves — aggressive predators built to survive in a world of scarce resources.

Yes, of course, that’s why rabbits survive and thrive all over the world while wolves have been hunted to near extinction in many places, because rabbits are so ill-adapted while wolves aren’t.

Right.

P.S. Leave wolves alone, fuckheads. You don’t know shit about them.

Rabukurafuto
Rabukurafuto
3 years ago

Castro offered asylum to many black activists and revolutionaries in exile, so there’s a significant number of black activists who are mourning his death. A professor of Black Studies and Culture I’m studying under gave a very measured response on Castro’s death and race relations in Cuba, but he’s still rather grateful for what Castro has done for revolutionaries.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

Who know how many voters who opposed The Donald this time could be dead in four years

Not due to healthcare costs, hate crimes, police brutality, environmental degradation, plain incompetence, etc. Nope, brain splosions. FFS…

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Poor Fidel. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he saw America destroyed. But then he dies, just after Trump is elected.

http://i.imgur.com/dvE6yCk.gif

Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Attributing miracles to a person who promises salvation, I can’t even make a satire of that, it’s literally what they are doing in accordance to prophecies of anti christ. I can’t even joke about that, that is literally what they are doing, attributing their dictator to supernatural status.

@ weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
Fidel: Well orange hitler is now president, I guess my work here is done.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Poor Fidel. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he saw America destroyed. But then he dies, just after Trump is elected.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

Re Castro as a leftist: the important thing is that he’s seen as one, and he managed to stay in power from 1959 after overthrowing the US-backed Batista dictatorship.

I’ve no desire to re-start the debate over whether he was good or bad or a true socialist, and the evidence is certainly mixed. But as far as the right is concerned, (1) Castro was of the left, and (2) he was a massive thorn in the US’s side, despite frequent efforts to get rid of him.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ mish

despite frequent efforts to get rid of him.

One of CIA’s more ‘imaginative’ plots was to get Castro to ingest a chemical that would make his beard fall out. The theory being that he’d then look less macho so his followers would abandon him.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

Castro instituted free universal education and free universal health care, showing you don’t need much world trade and wealth to get there. Also he got an effective civil defense system so that Cuba gets through hurricanes much better than its wealth would predict. He wiped out the old race-based caste system.

And he was a brutal dictator.

Where you sit in the chamber of commons don’t really predict anything about whether you’re authoritarian.

Steampunked
Steampunked
3 years ago

THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE

And fuck those people who refuse to learn how wolves and rabbits actually fucking work.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

http://www.snopes.com/fidel-castro-said-he-wont-die-until-america-is-destroyed/

Oh darn. Also, Janet Reno did not say Trump would be president over her dead body.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

I do wonder about excess mortality on election night and the following day, suddenly. It must be a thing: the bars fill up, so drunk driving must be higher than a normal Tuesday night.

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
3 years ago

clowns.

Wannabee scientists, wannabee naturalists, wannabee philosophers, wannabee political analysts. The sheer zetabytes of knowledge these people DON’T have would break the internet. The political left has been under fire in every society for all of human history. With few exceptions, the left has NEVER been in power (I don’t consider the U.S. Democratic Party “leftist”), and when the left IS in power, a “Stalin” always shows up to turn the government into fascism. BUT THE LEFT IS STILL AROUND, STILL FIGHTING, STILL GROWING. When the garment workers in Lowell in 1912 were striking, they were fucking SHOT AT. Suffragettes were beaten and jailed. Civil rights workers were beaten to death. Union workers were killed en mass for DECADES, but kept fighting. WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF YOUR MEALY-MOUTHED INSULTS AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF YOUR PATHETIC HATE-VIBES.

Hide behind your computer, “Anonymous Conservative”, we’ll get back to you when we can. If you wanna talk face to face, you’ll always know where to find us, we’ll be OUT IN THE STREETS!!

Oh, and FUCK YOU!!!

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!) Eddie
3 years ago

Poor Fidel. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he saw America destroyed. But then he dies, just after Trump is elected

Waitaminnit… Waitaminnit, all… WAITAMINNIT, DAMMIT!!!!

This is exactly correct. Trump was elected god-emporer… er, excuse me, President, which is the destruction of America… so Fidel CAN die now.

rick
rick
3 years ago

Death by Manliness to the old left! Dude survives a 5 year war in the jungles, fighting a much more formidable enemy, but dies from Trump’s “manliness”. Too funny. Also, I think the Anonymous Conservative is a bit confused regarding his own theories – Castro was definitely the “wolf” in this historical equation.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

AC thinks that Trump essentially terrified Castro to death, overloading Castro’s amygdalae with the sheer power of his manly essence. AC thinks this could be the first in a long line of Trump-related leftist deaths to come.

Well, a lot of people on both sides of the aisle are going to die all right, in emergency rooms, and under bridges, and in the inevitable terror attack and ensuing war/martial law that will occur when President Tire Fire’s popularity wanes and he needs a distraction. But nobody’s going to die as a result of ODing on alphaness. (Nothing says “manly” like spending your first two weeks whinging about Hamilton, SNL, the “unfair” press, and the popular vote, while rummaging through the crud at the bottom of your toilet’s U-bend for Cabinet picks and failing to stand up to actual neo-Nazis.)

In any case, he’s forgotten that feminists can simply neuter the right’s “manly essence” with their zombifying mind-control vadge butter.

Gotta love it when CTs cancel each other out.

ColeYote
ColeYote
3 years ago

Or he was 90 and in poor health. Also a possibility.

THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE
THAT IS NOT HOW R AND K SELECTED SPECIES OPERATE

Also,
THAT IS NOT HOW HUMANS OPERATE

Otrame
Otrame
3 years ago

r- and k- selected are relative terms.

In general, r-selected species produce large numbers of offspring and achieve sexual maturity sooner. Among mammals these tend to be what we think of as prey animals, like (yes) rabbits. As an example, a single female of the species Sigmodon hispidus, the Hispid Cotton Rat, which is very common in the drier areas of Texas, New Mexico and northern Mexico, can produce up to 2500 offspring (including children and grand children and great grand children, etc.) in her first year, given enough food and ignoring predation. Cotton rats, like many r-selected species, tend to have populations that grow rapidly, spiking at sometimes amazing numbers, than then crash, usually due to decreased food resources and/or disease.

In general, k-selected species tend to have fewer offspring with the adults caring for offspring longer, resulting a higher percentage of offspring making it to sexual maturity. Humans are extremely k-selected, as we generally have fewer than 10 offspring in our lives and care for them for a while even after they have reached sexual maturity. There are advantages and disadvantages to each strategy.

However, whether a species is considered r- or k-selected is a matter of comparison. Those r-selected cotton rats up there are k-selected when compared to octopuses. Yes, in most octopus species, the mother guards her eggs, but once they hatch they are completely on their own, thousands of them. Cotton rat moms spend a few weeks caring for their 6 to 12 offspring after birth. So, they are comparatively k-selected compared to octopuses.

All of which is to show that the idiot in the OP heard the phrase somewhere, didn’t bother to find out what it really means, and made a fool of themselves.

I don’t know as much about amygdalae, but I am willing to be they don’t know anything about them either, if only because if being stressed makes us self-destruct we would never have made it off the savannah.

This is why an education is more than collecting facts off the internet, children.

Bina
3 years ago

And here I thought Fidel Castro died of nothing but old age. Silly me!

(However, I can see why this con-turd is anonymous. If I had such cockamamie, laughable “scientific” ideas about things, I’d be anonymous, too.)

Podkayne Lives (Effortless Chicken)
Podkayne Lives (Effortless Chicken)
3 years ago

This is a joke, right? There isn’t actually someone out there who thinks Donald Trump can kill people with his manliness.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

Before becoming a communist, Fidel Castro was part of a movement that included both left- and right-wing elements, but was overall populist. He did, though, eventually align with the Soviet Union and communism.

Oh and by the way, Ivanka is apparently fairly liberal, and disagrees with her father on quite a few issues. (For instance, she formulated a child-care plan, but Donald has given no indication that he’s actually going to pursue her idea).

So it should be interesting to see how much, if at all, she ends up altering his trajectory.

Fabe
Fabe
3 years ago

@Podkayne

I would not be surprised to see a thrump version of the “Chuck Norris facts” meme only instead of it being a joke his supporters take it seriously .

hottotrotsky(L selected for Lenin means no babies, 12 revolutionary cats))
hottotrotsky(L selected for Lenin means no babies, 12 revolutionary cats))
3 years ago

Mmmm, I mean, being 90 is the plausible explanation for Fidel’s death, but that’s clearly a FALSE FLAG.

It’s interesting that the same folks who are supposed to be Trumpelstiltskins core constituents are also less likely to be in good health in terms of metrics like heart disease, smoking, cancers, addictions, and so on, but sure, the great orange godhead will strike the leftists down. Anytime now. Because scientisticalnessosity.

I just really enjoy how on one hand being adapted to deprivation and violence is awesome alphasauce good times until it’s a brown menace to this, our glorious white civilization of gentility and advancement. I enjoy it like wasabi to the eye.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

http://derpicdn.net/img/2015/5/20/900575/medium.gif

This AC guy isn’t gonna kill me with his manliness, but he might kill me with his arrogant stupidity.

Pie
Pie
3 years ago

So, we’ve had a total misinterpretation of pack dominance dynamics, and a critical failure to understand r- vs k-selection.

Anyone like to place any bets on which biological concept they’ll mangle next?

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

Hello.

So, after Trump provoking disease to Clinton body (Trademark Cernovitch), now Trump provoking death to Castro (Trademark Anonymous Conservative)? I know United States are the country of superheroes, so i suppose i shall not be surprised. After all, he is also a Master Persuader (Trademark Adams), so we are not at a superpower more or less. He can transform himself in a (memetic) frog (Trademark infringement, since the author does not support Trump), so he may also have some ninja training.
In this case, i am sure he can have his own comic/comic strip, in place like Breitbart or Stormfront, between Dildobert strips and some other KKKomiks, with a publishing house called DK (like DicK, but shorter, no pun intended) for some weekly and/or monthly releases. Thanks to that, his fans will be happily able to read about their hero and his deep and tortured reflections like “Do i grab her by the booty or the pussy ?” or “Do i wear my heroic brief on or under the spandex ?”. Thanks, again, to that, after Trump using his superpowers to make his white men supporters raise (absolutely no pun intended, of course, eh ?), he is also going to make USA comic market raising.

Oh, USAns, you lucky you !

Have a nice day (and stay safe !)

Acadia
Acadia
3 years ago

Wow! I wanna be an alt-righter so I can make up my own facts, slap them on my own blog and gain dozens of followers who really believe what I write is true because it confirms their own biases. Yay! I’ll have someone to listen to my extremely flawed theories so I’ll feel important!

[Post contains sarcasm. Use at your own risk.]

Christina Nordlander
Christina Nordlander
3 years ago

I love how they think leftist are more easily scared than rightists. I doubt any credible research has been made to back it up, but what do I know, I don’t sit typing out evopsych nonsense on my blog. And then they use Fidel Castro, veteran of an armed revolution, as an example of the typical wussy liberal scaredy-cat.

Yeahh.

Herbert West
Herbert West
3 years ago

Wouldn’t people who get scred to death so easily just go extinct after a rather short time?
I think this guy MIGHT have no idea about biology or evolution.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Alan,

One of CIA’s more ‘imaginative’ plots was to get Castro to ingest a chemical that would make his beard fall out. The theory being that he’d then look less macho so his followers would abandon him.

Such is 2016 that I honestly don’t know whether you made this up on the spot or it is true :0

Christina Nordlander
Christina Nordlander
3 years ago

I’ve heard the beard chemicals one before. Still, sounds almost too hilarious to be true.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ mish

Yeah, it does feel like we’re living in a badly plotted TV show at times. But the hair thing is completely true. It came to light in the report of the Church Committee. That was a government inquiry set up in the aftermath of Watergate to investigate the shenanigans of the various intelligence agencies.

The report does read like a work of fiction at times. Although as Ian Fleming was an advisor to Kennedy on how to deal with Cuba that may not be entirely co-incidental.

It’s actually a pretty entertaining read:

https://www.aarclibrary.org/publib/church/reports/ir/pdf/ChurchIR_3B_Cuba.pdf

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Christina Nordlander,

I don’t have time to look it up just now but if IIRC there was a study that showed that conservatives have more active amygdalae than liberals. Suggesting that they may be more fearful. It’s possibly a leap but it does make sense to me considering they fear brown and black people will kill them, women will “divorce rape” them and they must carry guns for self defense at all times.

Lea
Lea
3 years ago

These people have no idea the stress many of us have gotten used to. We aren’t the ones pretending our childhoods were retroactively ruined by a new Ghostbusters movie or that not getting sexed up by models on the regular makes us oppressed.

I’m reminded of the passage Terry Prachett wrote about Granny Weatherwax being an old woman running away from the fairies in Lords and Ladies in her hob nail boots and easily evading them because she had years to get good at running in heavy old boots.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

There’s a similarity with climate denial: “those tree hugging lefty fascist alarmists just want to scare you and take your money. If we do what they say then the economy will be immediately and irretrievably ruined — we’ll live in mud huts and the population will crash!”

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

Nah, Castro just checked out early to avoid the rush.

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

Trump’s never had to deal with scarce resources, not like the actual poor people who make up a lot of the Republican voting bloc. He gets to be a wolf just because he looked Carrier right in the eye and had Mike Pence give it $700,000 a year for 10 years and then let it outsource 1,300 jobs to Mexico. And before that he persuaded Buick not to move jobs to Mexico that it wasn’t planning on moving to Mexico.

Flora
Flora
3 years ago

So for all the ridiculous and hilarious wrong, the stress of Trump may very well have played a part in the journalist’s untimely death. This study is suggestive, though prone to recall bias.

http://content.onlinejacc.org/mobile/article.aspx?articleid=2430620

The amygdala had about as much to do with as any other random brain region though, and this doesn’t mean you can actually intentionally induce heart attacks in people because WTF kind of monster actually wants that?

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

@Hu’s on First

Oh and by the way, Ivanka is apparently fairly liberal, and disagrees with her father on quite a few issues. (For instance, she formulated a child-care plan, but Donald has given no indication that he’s actually going to pursue her idea).

TBH, I wouldn’t pursue her idea, either, but that’s because it’s crap:

Make child care expenses tax-deductible for those making less than $500,000, which means they lower your total income and you pay a lower tax rate, but you still have to have the damn money up front.

Establish tax-free accounts for child care and enrichment. Which means you need to have the money up front.

Extend unemployment insurance benefits if your employer doesn’t offer maternity leave. Unemployment insurance benefits are predicated on your being able to show you’ve looked for work. Are mothers on maternity leave going to have to look for work? What guarantees will there be that her job is waiting for her? After all, she took unemployment insurance benefits! And the payout is based on income and length of employment, so it’s not going to be uniform.

EDIT: “A source” allegedly close to Ivanka says she’s hoping to push the climate change crisis. That’ll be Nice If True. I wonder if Donald will denounce her as a Chi-Com Stooge, seeing as Global Warming Is Chi-Com Lie.