Hey! It’s a long-overdue open thread for personal stuff! Post away. No trolls, Trump fans, MRAs. Email me if things get weird.
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Open thread for personal stuff: Autumn of our discontent edition
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
@Claire, I’m in Hout Bay (hope that’s not too specific on a website that gets anti-feminist trolls). It’s mostly a great place to live, apart from being rather segregated.
@EJ: What Claire said earlier. Also, the summer heat hasn’t yet reached “sit-still-inside-and-sweat-buckets” levels yet.
Sorry to hear so many people are having a shitty time. Hugs to all.
I’m holding on here in the UK, where we’re coping with post-Brexit crap and other fun games you can play with a Tory government. Oh yeah, and EJ’s right, it’s bloody freezing, especially up here where I am in darkest Norfolk. But it’s probably still marginally better than being in the US right now. Know that a lot of us elsewhere hate this situation as well, and we’re doing what we can to fight back (although from this side of the pond, it doesn’t feel like we can do very much…)
ParseThePotatoes,
I just got around to reading that article you linked. The irony is that the whole reason I went to this particular therapist in the first place, even though his website said he specialized in working with men, is that he’s not a Christian. I had a few Christian therapists before him, and I am not a Christian (nor have I ever been a Christian, so I don’t even “speak the language” as it were). And what that article is mostly about are non-Christian clients having trouble with Christian therapists. I wanted to try out someone who wasn’t a Christian for a change, so that’s how I got the Hillary-hating Bernie Bro therapist.
But that article had good advice about how you need to be upfront about some of these things and if the therapist has a problem with part of your identity, you need to keep shopping. Thanks!
Thanks for the hugs TeamMammoth xxx
In all honesty today was a crappy day. My hospital appointment went so bad today. Basically, to paraphrase “we can see the damage the rape had caused. And I can see that it’s bleeding still and causing pain after 3 months. But it’s not that serious so we’ll discharge you. You just have to live with it”
So I spent 20 minutes standing on a bridge contemplating whether or not I can deal with “just living with” this daily reminder of what happened. But I chose to live and I’m home and safe, albeit sad and angry.
Hello.
From this evening, i will be on holidays till December the 29th. So i wish a merry christmas in advance to those who celebrate it !
Have a nice day.
@ Sea Wolf
Segregated communities: one of the delightful (not) leftovers of Apartheid South Africa. The only place I’ve lived in SA where I didn’t feel like I was staying in some particularly white section of Europe was Durban. Hout Bay is beautiful, though! You been there long?
@NicolaLuna
I’m so sorry that you have a lingering, painful reminder of a terrible experience. And it sounds as though there will be a trial too.
Hang in there. Spring will come. And in time there will be periods in which you don’t even think about this experience.
Stay strong.
@occasional reader
Joyeux Noël! (If that’s what you celebrate.)
All the best, NicolaLuna. You’re an awesome person and have been an inspiration to me. Nothing anyone can do to you can make you a not-awesome person.
That said, fuck those doctors. That’s a pretty fucking unacceptable way to treat anyone.
Massive hugs and please let me know if you need someone to talk to – I’m a fellow London-dweller and can be there at short notice.
@Claire, Sea Wolf:
I really miss the Johannesburg summers of my childhood. The afternoon rains take the edge off the heat, and make it very pleasant.
Now I’m all homesick.
Well… my best (and at this point, pretty much only) friend is leaving for NZ next week. For a whole year.
I’ve known him forever and for the past 8 years or so he’s been extremely supportive of me in situations where it was definitely not a good idea for him to do so (he’s real close to those people who don’t want to see my face around here anymore) and he’s made a lot of sacrifices for us to remain friends, so I’d rather keep my mouth shut about the whole thing, but I dunno what I’m gonna do without him around.
He’s the definition of a heart of gold. Actually, scratch that, whole dude is made of gold, ‘cept for the brain which is made of weird.
The french state is placing hurdles on his way though. His visa might get cancelled because of legal delays, because they decided to start harassing him NOW because of a DUI a year and a half ago… and he’s already been punished for that. Revoked license (which he’s got back by now) and stuff (that’s how bad it gets here when your DUI is cannabis instead of alcohol…). And apparently, with the kind of visa he’s got, if it gets cancelled he can’t get another one.
Right now I’m fixing the english version of his resume for him, so technically I’m helping with his trip, but I’m afraid I might secretly be hoping his visa gets cancelled. Not exactly a big fan of this selfish side of meself.
To Mammotheers living in NZ : yeah, so, we’re sending you our very best. Don’t thank us, to be honest we’d rather keep him.
@Kat and @EJ (The Orphic Lizard)
Thank you so much. I’m a little better today.
I’m going to go back to my GP and try to get referred to a different surgeon at a different hospital. If that doesn’t work then I’m going to have to save up and go to a private clinic. I can’t just do nothing about this, it’s affecting me too badly.
@NicolaLuna
I hope you get another, more rational doctor, because that determination is just so unacceptable. You don’t deserve what they’re telling you.
How much does it cost to go to a private clinic? If you set a gofundme I would contribute.
@PoM
From what I can see it’s around £3000.
That’s such a kind offer. I’ll definitely think about it. But will see if the NHS route is still possible first.
Oh gosh, NicolaLuna. All the love and hugs <3 I would contribute too. I hope the NHS gets you some other options soon.
@NicolaLuna
I promise to donate if you set up a gofundme. I can’t give a lot, but I can give some.
@NicolaLuna
That’s awful. I know how hard it is to even set up another appointment knowing how much is at steak for you if they brush you off again. Please consider the gofundme if the usual route doesn’t work out.
@NicolaLuna I wish you all the best in finding a much more competent doctor.
Also, for other commenters: does GoFundMe take paypal?
@NicolaLuna
Yes, try for another surgeon first. But keep gofundme in mind if you can’t get anywhere with that. You deserve so much better.
@Fishy Goat
Gofundme doesn’t take PayPal to my knowledge. I just donated to someone on it and was looking for that option so I wouldn’t have to go get my wallet but no luck.
@NicolaLuna
That’s utterly unacceptable behaviour from that surgeon. I’m sorry you had to deal with such an asshole. All my hopes on a better one t hrough the NHS.
@Fishy Goat
They do not. They’ve an agreement with a similar service called WePay.
@kupo Well, argh. 😛
Wow everyone, feeling a bit overwhelmed. You’re amazing.
I’m going to wait a few days to get myself together and then call my GP and try again. I’ll keep you updated
Polar bears!
I’m headed up to see my sweetheart in the frozen North in a couple weeks. I gather the bears are sleeping by now.
Packing is kind of daunting. I have a giant shopping list.
We’ll have to work out how to handle the next year or two. The phone service is either hilariously or maddeningly bad, depending on our mood, and internet sucks, so it’s hard to keep in touch. Going pretty well so far though.
NicolaLuna: just got caught up on the thread. I can offer virtual hugs, or a virtual fist-bump for strength, or a virtual head-scritch (they’re not just for cats!) depending on your mood.