These are exciting times in the world of cinema. Mike “Juicebro” Cernovich’s new film long video Silenced — a documentary about a bunch of people who have not actually been silenced, as far as I can tell — has finally hit theaters Vimeo! And it’s getting rave reviews!
Well, technically I’m not quite sure if it is, because I’ve only seen one review, from Breitbart’s Milo Yiannopoulos, who also happens to be in the film, though for some reason this doesn’t count as COLLUSION and no one is making giant graphics featuring little red arrows pointing from Milo to Milo to show HOW DEEP THE CORRUPTION GOES.
Anyway, Milo liked the film, declaring it “great.” He said a lot of other things about the film, but, as I didn’t bother to actually read the review, you’ll have to find out what they are for yourself.
But I did notice one VERY IMPORTANT PARAGRAPH in which Milo set forth one of the reasons he, or whichever intern he got to write the piece (allegedly), think the film is so totally awesome.
Technically, the film is sufficient for its purpose. Almost all the interviews are static, tight shots, which do a good job showing expression and even at times emotion.
Did you hear that!!?/!
TECHNICALLY THE FILM IS SUFFICIENT FOR ITS PURPOSE.
That’s the line that’s going on the movie posters for sure.
Milo does have some mild criticisms of the film, though.
My biggest complaint is with the graphics, a staple of documentary films these days, which feel clunky. In most cases these take the form of a tablet or cell phone used to show headlines or streaming video, but I found them distracting. While I preferred the tight interview shots of Silenced to The Red Pill, the latter uses graphics much more effectively.
Apparently, Silenced and The Red Pill are the only two documentaries ever made. Who knew?
I recently saw Doctor Strange. It was technically a movie, it had a plot and characters, it had a beginning and a middle and an ending, it sufficiently portrayed a visual form of media. I gave it a score out of ten.
Being a film critic is tough work but it’s my passion in life!
I dunno guys, I kinda wanna watch it now. It sounds delightfully awful. To be fair, my idea of a great Christmas movie is Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, so maybe don’t take my recommendation… 🙂
@LankyYankee
There’s an xkcd for that (because of course there is).
On a totally unrelated note, you doing anything this Christmas ?
From the comments…
Mug!
so what’s this dumb movie about?
@brian
Without having even heard of it before this thread, judging purely by the title and the so-called “Director,” I’m going to say “Bawling and stomping like a T rex with a stubbed toe about his FREEZE PEACH.”
Now I’m going to Google it, and… Yep.
I know nothing about it, but I’m guessing Alt Right assholes complaining that they’re” silenced” even though….fucking Trump happened?
(Man, I can’t even make a joke about being psychic, because Juicebro only has four trains of thought – “FREEZE PEACH,” “I HATE [string of random slurs against every group imaginable],” “LEGALISE RAPE AND MURDER” and “I AM SO GREAT” – so it had to be one of them.)
The Breitbart comments are … can you guess what they are? …. all about DA JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ
I’m reminded of an old Judge Dredd story where Dredd has to deliver the eulogy for one of Mega City One’s leading citizens.
“He made trousers for the justice department. Mine seem to fit ok.”
Scott Adams, by “creator of beloved cartoon” do you mean “creator of that cartoon most people know from seeing it pinned to the wall of the office douchebag’s cubicle during the 90’s”? And by “most hated person on the internet” do you mean “vaguely notorious professional dickhead”?
Good to see Juicebro’s ex-wife’s money being wasted on a “movie” nobody will see.
I had a delve into the comments. Must confess, this one made me giggle; especially as I don’t think they’re being ironic.
@SFHC:
Would you say that Cernovich is so set in his ways that it would take a paleontologist to predict them?
You mean he doesn’t make reference to The Sarkeesian Effect??? Outrageous.
@Blanktie
Your icon is magical.
Maybe Silenced left him… speechless? Yeaaaah! meet the new boss etc.
Hate to break it to Scott Adams, but he’s not even among the five most hated people on this very site. Maybe not even the ten most hated.
@Christina Nordlander,
I agree. I’m not sure he’s worth summoning the energy required for actual hatred. I mean, that’s a pretty big commitment.
Welcome, eleventy!
So, this is a documentary about people who won’t go away and be quiet?
Welcome, eleventy! Have a welcome package!
https://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/
We need an alternative to the term wing nut welfare that doesn’t have ableism in it. Because that very clearly describes how the notables of the manosphere make a living.
Man, I am a film theory major and let me tell you how awesome Milo Yiannopoulos’ movie reviews aren’t! We are talking suburban public transit levels of quality!
@Viscaria
This and the actual review makes me want to write a review of my own for this movie without ever having seen it.
“This is technically a documentary, if your definition of ‘documentary’ is not too strict and unforgiving. It features such elements as something to look at and something to listen at, both staples of classic cinema. It has been produced and directed by people, as documentaries often are, and it has been shot on location, presumably with a camera. It also features people who talk using (mostly) their mouths. The mouths produce sounds that our brains interpret as information, if, again, your definition of ‘information’ is not too strict and unforgiving. At times, the people on camera may show something resembling emotion.
All in all, this is a documentary, although your mileage may vary, as we established earlier. It is about a thing its makers considered worthy of making a documentary about. You might ask whether or not it is a good documentary. My answer would be that answering that question would, by necessity, begin with asking whether or not you consider existence a virtue, as opposed to non-existence, but then we would be getting into philosophical debates and that’s not what we’re here for. Stop derailing. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yes, drinking vodka is fun. Unless you don’t drink alcohol for whatever reason, and ain’t nothing wrong with that.”
I should really start that blog of me writing reviews while drunk. This is fun. At least for me.
@Anarchonist:
That sounds an awful lot like the sort of “objective” reviews that the #GGers were in favour of.
This almost reminds me of the Platonic idea of an ‘objective’ video game review that the GGers were screaming for, except that this review fails that criterion by allowing subjective judgements and opinions in.
Edit: Ninja’ed by EJ. Almost the same sentence structure to boot, holy wow that’s spooky. Although I was referring to the review as produced by 40 Interns d/b/a Milo.