With all the terrible things going on in the world today, it’s nice to be reminded that some things remain unchanged even in Trump’s brave new America.
The Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I am happy to report, remains a small oasis of stability in a rapidly changing world. Reddit’s MGTOWs are the same creepy weirdos they’ve always been.
Today, for example, the regulars in the MGTOW subreddit are waxing indignant about a young woman who had the temerity to take a butt-selfie in her bathroom while carrying a baby in a baby sling. As bathroom butt-selfies go, it’s pretty tame; she’s wearing underwear, and it’s not even particularly scanty. And the baby clearly has no idea what’s going on.
But the MGTOWs manage to work themselves into a frenzy nonetheless. Not so much about her butt or even the baby but about her UNFORGIVABLE FAILURE TO PUT THE TOILET PAPER ROLL IN THE TOILET PAPER DISPENSER.
![skeletonized 12 points 7 hours ago This is an epidemic I have not yet been to a girl's place and found the spring loaded stick adorned with the roll. THEY EVEN DO IT WITH PAPER TOWEL DISPENSERS IN THE KITCHEN They wont but the roll onto a stick that gives you leverage to rip off a square. They subconsciously wont put the stick (penis) through the cardboard tube (vagina) I'm convinced this is Freudian. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]Tyler_Gatsby 11 points 11 hours ago I don't think women do that anymore- put toilet paper on the dispenser. They'll set it everywhere they can sit it except there. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]PipBoyTInkerer 15 points 11 hours ago BUT MEN SHOULD PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN, AMIRITE GRRLS?](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/tp22.png?ssl=1)
I dunno, dudes. It could be that the loose-toilet-paper-roll gals of the world know that if they put rolls in the dispenser, this will happen:
Or this:
Or possibly this:
I mean, it’s cute and all, but these little monsters can rapidly deplete even the most substantial hoard of toilet paper.
Back on Reddit, meanwhile, other MGTOW subreddit regulars are working themselves into a lather over the smudges on butt-selfie-gal’s mirror.
![rat-biker 4 points 5 hours ago She's taking the pic into a pretty dirty mirror. Notice smudges center right side. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]vanets 1 point 2 hours ago Chad and Tyrone's seed](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/smudge.png?ssl=1)
Chad and Tyrone, that is really very impolite. I expect more from you, Chad and Tyrone!
Ok, s’ long as there’s dancing….
At my former workplace, as seen in bathroom stall, on toilet paper roll holder:
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxfVC-dW8AAMsuW.jpg
I don’t think that’s the best possible slogan for that spot…
Weird (and regrouping quickly) Eddie,
I’m very sorry, but if dealing with fundamentalists has taught me anything it’s that dancing is wrong. Dancing leads to fornication.
Quite different to the experience in my own life, which is that forincation leads to dancing.
Only when done correctly of course.
@ Louis
As a kid, I went to one o’ them churches!! “Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”… no makeup, either… because Jezebel, or whatever
@Louis
Have you, perchance, ever met Kevin Bacon?
I don’t put my toilet paper roll on the Despenser because it’s in an awkward spot relative to the toilet.
Why do these men speak in such a stilted way? That first one. That impressed nobody.
Handsome “Punkle Stan” Jack,
Not personally. But I have met someone who has met someone who has met someone who has met someone who has met someone who has met him.
@Dreemr:
*goes to look at link*
WAAAAAAAAAANNNTT!!!!!!!!! GIIIIIMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
*ahem*
Though more seriously, that looks like it’s going to be one great flick. Can’t wait for next year. IF it gets released in the US, that is. >:|
A bit further down on that page there was a version with English subtitles, plus an analysis of what was going to be in the movie. Like, Ed is twenty instead of fifteen, and the director is going to shove the entire manga into one movie (somehow). Interesting stuff, at least in my opinion.
https://youtu.be/__dBaaHTPXA
It seems that toilet paper rolls piss off felines universally! Catbeast has never been a T.P. destroyer (becoz heza Purrfect Genleman! Always has been).
I prefer the roll to unwind in the back because the holder I have seems to let it unroll too much if it’s put in the other way.
Husbeast and I have always followed the “you use it up, you replace it” rule and we also put down both the seat and lid when finished using the toilet, even in other people’s homes. These things have never been an issue in the Beast household.
@Aunt Podger
When I did Army basic training, they’d issue the same amount of toilet paper to the men’s and women’s barracks every week. In the women’s barracks, we were always completely out of toilet paper for about a day and a half and had to pocket extra napkins at mealtime. One time, my drill sgt. was going on and on about how he just couldn’t understand how we females used so much toilet paper. I so wanted to ‘splain to him how human beings urinate more frequently than they defecate, and how, due to differences in our anatomy, I think that most men maybe didn’t use toilet paper when they urinate, but pretty much all women do. But I was too scared.
@Belladonna My toilet paper consumption goes up when I menstruate. As I’m sure might also happen in, say, a women’s army barracks. Sheesh. 😛
@Belladonna
“Vaginas need toilet paper when they piss, sir! Vaginas are incapable of being shaken like a penis, sir! Sir, they get UTIs and yeast infections if the don’t, sir! Sir, basic anatomy requires more toilet paper! …Sir! Sire! Esquire!”
(I wouldn’t make it in the army.)
My sister has this annoying habit of putting the new toilet paper roll on top of the thing. Rather than through the thing. Wonder how their tortured metaphor would interpret that.
@Brittersweet
So it’s not just house cats? All felines treat toilet paper like it’s their mortal enemy? Amazing.
@Belladona
It’s amazing how many jobs/service/prisons in the world are designed for men. Then when women get access to that service, no changes made whatsoever. Women are just expected to “be men” or some shit. (prisons seeming to think women don’t get periods, firefighter outfits not designed to fit women, and now expectations that men and women use the same amount of toilet paper in the military.).
@Fishy Goat
Another excellent point, and the napkin scavenging days were particularly problematic when they coincided with menses. Seriously, the guy was married, too. I was just, like, what can possibly be so difficult to understand here?
@Jack
lol. The army was very definitely an interesting experience. 🙂
More penis-havers should use toilet paper after peeing, to be honest. The “three shakes” technique is primitive and flawed.
Ugh, I remember when I was living in bedsit land and had to share a bathroom. For a few months there lived a young man in one of the other rooms who would piss everywhere but the toilet. I had to put shoes on everytime I went. I ended up screaming at him that if he didn’t learn to aim I’d take his guitar and garotte him with the E-string. He moved out not long after. >:D
I’m starting to feel very lucky that none of my cats have ever messed with the toilet paper roll.
@varalys the dark
That is an entirely appropriate response to that situation. As well as hilarious.
@varalys
I bet he’s a MGTOW now.
Belladonna, when were you in the Army? I was in the USAF from 79 – 87 and there was never an issue with the supplies in the latrines; everything was perpetually well-stocked.
Which is actually kind of strange, now that I think about it…
Handsome Jack – A lot of people tell me that they’d never be able to make it in the military, but you’d be shocked at what you can actually get away with!
@ Imaginary Petal: he’s pretty much what I imagine a MGTOW looks like though he’d be a lot older now. Piss all over the floor and playing his guitar with the door wide open in a house with eight occupants in it. Utterly fucking selfish prick. Gah! I has to be said I lived in said house for six years and was the only woman ever, but he was the only bloke who was so obnoxiously anti-social.
@Moocow
Weird, eh? Far, far be it from me to suggest that women should be treated as special flowers in most situations. I kind of thought it was a shame that PT requirements were based on gender and age, rather than say, on MOS, but actual anatomical differences? I mean, come on!
@Hambeast
USAR 95–03, a lucky slice of time when I was never called for active duty outside of training (and I also went IRR early) and can’t speak to latrine stocks. When I went for advanced training at Fort Gordon, we always had sufficient toilet paper, but for some reason Fort Jackson just didn’t seem to see any need for women to get “extra” TP. Honestly, too, I’m not 100% sure we didn’t get any extra. All I know is it wasn’t sufficient. It always seemed to me, also, that for some reason the USAF had a tiny bit better support for women. Just my perception, though. I don’t have any statistics or support for the idea.
On the topic of peeing everywhere. I travel frequently via train and I am stl utterly mystified and disgusted by the fact that men seem to be incapable of realizing how peeing standing up might possibly constitute a problem for the next person entering the stall. Even those who put the seat up (rarely down, though. Thanks, I’ve always wanted to touch someone else’s pee) get it everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, runs down both sides of the seat…. It’s disgusting.
My personal highlight was the kid who peed all over the toilet (seat down, of course) and left it there and when his mom saw me open the door, grimace and use th other toilet, SHE cleaned it up. Can’t have the precious male do anything like cleaning….
@Jenora Mike Holmes needs to do a special. 🙂
You guys are so great. I’ve been laughing out loud for the last 5 minutes, reading this.
@dreemr and everyone else re FMA movie,
YES HOORAY THIS ALMOST MAKES UP FOR 2016 NO IT ACTUALLY DOESN’T BUT STILL YAY
Also, much as I share the love for Hughes, this is still really funny: