With all the terrible things going on in the world today, it’s nice to be reminded that some things remain unchanged even in Trump’s brave new America.
The Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I am happy to report, remains a small oasis of stability in a rapidly changing world. Reddit’s MGTOWs are the same creepy weirdos they’ve always been.
Today, for example, the regulars in the MGTOW subreddit are waxing indignant about a young woman who had the temerity to takeĀ a butt-selfie in her bathroom while carrying a baby in a baby sling. As bathroom butt-selfies go, it’s pretty tame; she’s wearing underwear, and it’s not even particularly scanty.Ā And the baby clearly has no idea what’s going on.
But the MGTOWs manage to work themselves into a frenzy nonetheless. Not so much about her butt or even the baby but about her UNFORGIVABLE FAILURE TO PUT THE TOILET PAPER ROLL IN THE TOILET PAPER DISPENSER.
![skeletonized 12 points 7 hours ago This is an epidemic I have not yet been to a girl's place and found the spring loaded stick adorned with the roll. THEY EVEN DO IT WITH PAPER TOWEL DISPENSERS IN THE KITCHEN They wont but the roll onto a stick that gives you leverage to rip off a square. They subconsciously wont put the stick (penis) through the cardboard tube (vagina) I'm convinced this is Freudian. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [ā]Tyler_Gatsby 11 points 11 hours ago I don't think women do that anymore- put toilet paper on the dispenser. They'll set it everywhere they can sit it except there. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [ā]PipBoyTInkerer 15 points 11 hours ago BUT MEN SHOULD PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN, AMIRITE GRRLS?](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/tp22.png?ssl=1)
I dunno, dudes. It could be that the loose-toilet-paper-roll gals of the world know that if they put rollsĀ in the dispenser, this will happen:
Or this:
Or possibly this:
I mean, it’s cute and all, but these little monsters can rapidly deplete even the most substantial hoard of toilet paper.
Back on Reddit, meanwhile, other MGTOW subreddit regulars are working themselves into a lather over the smudges on butt-selfie-gal’s mirror.
![rat-biker 4 points 5 hours ago She's taking the pic into a pretty dirty mirror. Notice smudges center right side. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [ā]vanets 1 point 2 hours ago Chad and Tyrone's seed](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/smudge.png?ssl=1)
Chad and Tyrone, that is really very impolite. I expect more from you, Chad and Tyrone!
Goodness, how must it be to live while being so impotently angry about everything?
A woman took a picture of her butt? Her mirror is smudged? Her bog roll’s empty (and you don’t know how long it’s been empty)?
Such anger over a snapshot of a single moment in a woman’s life. For all they know, her bog roll just ran out and she replaced it immediately after, and she then took the time to clean her bathroom. We don’t know if she did or didn’t, but MGTOWS are well-known for their assumptions, especially about women.
Of course, I would imagine that if this woman had a spotless mirror, a full bog roll, and took a selfie of her best Sunday Church-Going Dress with her well-dressed white baby, they’d still find fault with her somehow.
Because then she’d probabally be a neat-freak, toilet-using, bad-mom who should be taking care of that baby somehow or making her man a sandwich followed by fellatio instead of taking thirty seconds for a selfie.
ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
The moral of the story: Ladies do what you want, because no matter what you do it will always piss off an MGTOW. You will never be able to “woman” to their standards, and that’s for the best really.
How many times must I watch Maes Hughes die before you people are satisfied?
Oh, PI……
*sob*
*lights a candle for Maes*
Help me out here. I think maybe I have completely misunderstood MGTOWs. If putting the stick (penis) in the tube (vagina) subconsciously conjures up having sex every time (and as someone who does this all the time, wow, have I ever been oblivious), wouldn’t it be something hard for MGTOWs to do? I mean, since they’re going their own way and all. What am I missing?
@PI
I wanted to move on like the characters have, I didn’t want old wounds to reopen.
We had a cat that would unroll the toilet paper. I was pretty young (maybe 3 or 4 years old) and my mom blamed me for it. I insisted it wasn’t me. She didn’t believe me until she actually saw the cat doing it.
OMG, that black and white cat looks EXACTLY like my Biff, the shape and markings are identical. However he’s never done that with bog roll because one of the many things my landlord didn’t install was a roll holder, so the rolls sit on a pile of books on a box by the toilet itself. He’s only unravelled one once, when he was super bored because we were having a particularly long bout of rainy weather and he refused to go out and TP’ed the living room in protest because obviously I control the weather.
The two rules of MGTOW:
1. Everything is women’s fault.
2. No battle is too insignificant to spend 100% of your time fighting.
I don’t know about you folks but this made me happy:
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-abortion-donations-idUSKBN13A2L8
Thousands of people donating to Planned Parenthood is wonderful enough, but doing it in Pence’s name? GLORIOUS!
I always pictured Chad as more of a boobs guy. This picture is probably meant for Tyrone?
This is the perfect opportunity to give this video a comeback.
The toilet paper is currently sitting on the back of the toilet in our house because the dispenser was improperly installed (by a man, no less). The knobs are set too far apart to keep the spring-loaded stick secured. After years of the stick wobbling back and forth between them, the knobs finally separated from the drywall, and the screw holes have widened enough to loosen their grip on the screws and become useless.
I’m sure there’s some MGTOW “used vag” metaphor in there somewhere. (“My toilet paper dispenser hit the wall, and then detached itself from it.”)
Wait, am I the only one that is still using the Male Tears Bidet (TM)?
We’re back on toilet paper? I didn’t get the memo.
Also come The Revolution, people who put the toilet roll on the wrong way will be sent to the same death camps as the people who squeeze the toothpaste tubes from the middle, and the people who leave crusty gunk on the ketchup bottle.
Yes, this will be a Revolution with its priorities alllllllllll right. š
OK OK guys but SERIOUSLY there is a CONSPIRACY.
My favorite toilet paper only comes in ENORMOUS GIANT ROLLS. They do NOT fit on my toilet paper holder until they’re half gone and by then I mean, what’s the point??
So I went and looked for any gadgets that would allow you to put a giant roll of toilet paper in a standard wall-holder. And GUESS WHAT? They were all being sold by the SAME COMPANY that makes the GIANT ROLLS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
So long story short the reason why my toilet paper is never on the holder is because I’m REBELLING against CAPITALISM.
Off-topic but thanks to this site I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole that is /r/badwomensanatomy. I’ve been laughing and cringing in equal measure since last night. Thanks whichever Mammotheer pointed it out to me!
Funny thing is, I get mad about that myself… because apparently I’m the only one in the house who actually notices that the roll is empty. But I don’t, like, make an entire post about it or anything.
It was a very weird sensation to have someone over and discover that the roll had been changed, and NOT BY ME? Does not compute!
We keep our TP under the sink so the cats don’t chew on the plastic. They’ve never been interested in the rolls, thankfully.
Oh, and the one being used in the back bathroom isn’t on the holder because the stick got lost somehow. (I suspect a curious 9 year old who got distracted before he put it back.)
Funny thing is, I get mad about that myself… because apparently I’m the only one in the house who actually notices that the roll is empty. But I don’t, like, make an entire post about it or anything.
It was a very weird sensation to have someone over and discover that the roll had been changed, and NOT BY ME? Does not compute!
We keep our TP under the sink so the cats don’t chew on the plastic. They’ve never been interested in the rolls, thankfully.
Oh, and the one being used in the back bathroom isn’t on the holder because the stick got lost somehow. (I suspect a curious 9 year old who got distracted before he put it back.)
The cat gifs remind me of this old Charmin commercial.
I don’t think I got the link to post. I’m somewhat new to this comment forum.
Handsome “Punkle Stan” Jack:
DIS AM NOT AN OPTION!
Toilet paper criminals will be persecuted unto the nth generation.
Where n is a number yet to be determined, but it will probably be figured out via a series of painstaking experiments.
Just remember everyone, us feminists are the ones who are way too sensitive and overreact to everything. Us.
The cleaning service that my office uses refuses to leave a copy of key so we can replace our own toilet paper. They have also determined by some mysterious metric that in the ladies’ room, we use one roll per stall, plus one roll, per week, so the day before, we have a free-floating roll, and ALL the stalls are empty. It’s maddening, especially since the men are on even harder rations and feel free to come in and take our “extra.” (I do not and cannot blame them. Any close read of Engels reveals that true communism does not extend to bumwad.) The cleaning service, of course, refuses to speak to us, as they answer only to the landlord, and the landlord thinks us very silly people indeed to fuss over such trivia, and refuses to address it.
Bringing our own toilet paper, the veterans tell me, only causes the issued stuff to be drastically cut back. I do know one woman who, when faced with the dilemma, tore up the sign reminding us not to flush anything but human waste and used that for cleaning up. I was greatly amused and appalled.
It would take six figures for us to set up our servers elsewhere, and darned if we aren’t considering it for reasons just such as this.
As for home, the one setup I disliked was where the dispenser was eight feet from the toilet. I bought a free-standing dispenser, because regretfully, my feminist super power pack somehow came with an extra helping of snark, but no telekinesis. Free-standing dispensers are just wonderful, because you always have extra rolls at hand.
I would like to amplify, though: this scourge hits almost all humans, particularly U.S-Americans, is perpetrated across gender boundaries, affects setters slightly more than pointers…. and is somehow the fault of young, attractive women.
nparker,
I have always thought this was one of the more ironic pieces.
“{eyeroll} OMG you are always whinging about the paygap!”
“Okay, you do realise you’re whining about the whinging about the pay gap, which by definition is a lesser problem, right? Just toughen the fuck up, snowflake.”