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self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

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weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

POM,

Pretty violets.

My favorite flower is probably the lilac

http://blog.northerngardener.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/declaration-lilac.jpg

I love the color and the smell, plus they bloom at my favorite time of year.

I also like tulips. Especially the black ones

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hZkMV5PbZpk/T71PRXx5UEI/AAAAAAAACXU/f2yTH3e5s9w/s1600/Queen-of-the-Night.jpg

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

Yeah, like actions have no moral values.

Alt-Right in a nutshell.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

Knew a guy in college who thought thrusting his fist in the air and shouting “We will not tolerate intolerance!” was just the funniest gotcha ever.

I was similar in high school, except I literally didn’t tolerate intolerance and said that as a somewhat snide remark, appreciating the irony of the necessity.

@WWTH

Okay, I’m not a fan of tulips but they are 100% more awesome when they’re black. Or, like, a deep burgundy.

My favorite flavors are lupins and snapdragons. I also like any flowers that grow in cone form like lupins and foxgloves.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

@WWTH

I think my favorite flower is the ruffled black iris, such as this magnificent example:

http://funflowerfacts.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/black-iris.jpg

I don’t have any right now, due to not having a back yard of my own, but I think I’m ready to buy a house so that should change soon.

I just hope my job doesn’t dry up or something. It might, if there is a recession.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@calmdown
My hair is currently purple as well. May I suggest http://overtone.co for color maintenance? It’s doing a pretty good job so far of keeping my hair vibrant. Before I started using it, my hair would fade pretty quickly.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

One of the things that really annoy me is all those people who just gloat about the ”death of PC”.

The alt-right seems to think there’s a single event or person out there that will magically make progressivism go away. I think that’s why they obsessivly focus on things like taking out Anita Sarkeesian or Gawker. Their latest thing is Daddy Trump becoming president. These people must have been children during the Dubya administration. That or they just forgot about it. If they think having an adversary in the White House will make progressives fold and go away, they’re going to be awfully disappointed.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

@Margot

I have felt for a while that what people mean by the threat of political correctness is that they only really see white men as fully human. I was in a bad mood today and my boyfriend told me he wouldn’t worry about going off on people because being blunt is now going to be the norm and I was like, that might be true for white men but neither of us are a white man so we’re both going to need to be extra careful

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
8 years ago

@ Calmdown

I should probably stop with the “Cheeto” thing, but I CANT bring myself to even type his name.

I’ve been cross eyed (actually that is probably ableist, let’s say “rummy”) all day, I did not sleep a wink last night. Alt between crying, raging and suicide ideation.

I think most of these people’s moral compass has never found “north”, but yeah, complete lack of moral value.

The “irrational women” argument is easy to parse: irrational is defined as “whatever women do”, and whatever women do is defined as “irrational”. See? Simple!

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

I have been in despair, but now I can feel it metamorphosing into righteous fury. Agent Orange and the Cheeto Squad think that might makes right, but we can and will prove that in fact it is right that makes might.

Now we the ones motivated to take our country back. I think they don’t know just what they’re in for.

Laugher at Bigots
Laugher at Bigots
8 years ago

@Margot: I think at least some of them think that “PC” is a communist conspiracy like “cultural Marxism”. Glenn Beck does.

Jesalin
Jesalin
8 years ago

My read on the types who whine about things being too PC is (possibly) less to do with with race or gender and more about being considerate. That is to say, they hate to have to be considerate of others. Or…not so much being considerate of others, but being considerate of those who they consider to be ‘other’, and those who they consider to be a lesser person (such as people who need a safe space, or trigger warnings, or pretty much anyone suffering from PTSD).

I don’t know if that makes sense, it’s been a rough day in more ways than one.

Jedi Mind Tricks of the Bible
Jedi Mind Tricks of the Bible
8 years ago

Long time lurker… I just had to say that this blog & it’s community has been a light to me, an awakening, and a great source of comfort. Thank you all. May this election be a wake up call for the US. History has seen worse.

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
8 years ago

I forgot to eat. I almost never forget to eat.

Okay, we had a perfectly qualified, stable candidate who is a little shady/corrupt. Business as usual, except she would be the first woman to be president! (white feminism aside) How cool!

BUT NO, WE ELECTED THIS GARBAGE FIRE.

I’m so fucking done with this country. I don’t know what to do. I can throw myself into my artwork, but how the fuck am I supposed to simply take care of myself??

Imperator Kahlo
Imperator Kahlo
8 years ago

My best friend has been talking me down this morning. I hope everybody here has somebody they can turn to over the coming days. I know that reading the comments here always reminds me that there are good, smart, open-minded people doing their best to make the world better, even in the face of what at times seems overwhelming opposition.

Anisky and Lux in particular, sending you hugs after the last thread, if they’re welcome. Also sending kittens. Pretty sure kittens are also welcome. Hope you’re both reading.

I’m hunkered down watching movies today, exclusively featuring badass women. Ripley taking on Aliens, and one half of my namesake taking on the patriarchy in Fury Road. Would love any suggestions, particularly of movies about badass WoC.

Stay safe everyone.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

PC, to me, reads as “Relatively wealthy white men should be able to say what they want, and everyone else should shut up if they disagree.”

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

I started to drink this Makers that seems to be watered straight out of the bottle and I am … actually somewhat drunk? Not as drunk as I ought to be given how much I’ve had, but enough to be mellow. I need this, y’all. I need some mellow right now.

eta: I just ate a bunch of soba in inauthentic chicken broth and now I have The Hiccups. wtf body

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

PC, to me, reads as “Relatively wealthy white men should be able to say what they want, and everyone else should shut up if they disagree.”

Yeah, this. These are the same people who get offended by someone saying Happy Holidays and think the sight of a same sex couple holding hands or hugging will traumatize children. These are the same people who have a years long tantrum because someone makes videos criticizing misogyny in games and think their childhoods are ruined by female Ghostbusters. It’s not about being tough or unbothered by things. It’s not about disliking manners or civility. It’s all about people being unhappy that there’s a pushback on the use of slurs.

Amused
8 years ago

Inspirational quote time:

Learn, my child, to look at life early as a serious matter. Life is hard, it does not pamper anybody, and for every time it strokes you it gives you ten blows. Become accustomed to that soon, but don’t let it defeat you. Decide to fight. Have courage and clear goals and you will win over life.

~Milada Horáková, Czech lawyer, socialist, feminist and anti-fascist, from a letter to her daughter, written the night before her execution by the authoritarian Russian-backed post-WWII Czechoslovakian government (1950) (Read the whole thing.)

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Thanks, everyone, for the positive thoughts — and the negative! gotta be real here — and the flower photos.

@POM, your African violet is beautiful. Like your violet, our resistance will grow!

@WWTH, sometimes people can be unbearable but you can’t say it. The way I deal with that is to start acting. Sometimes I have to channel Meryl Streep. (Thanks, Meryl!) Sometimes my true feelings can only come out in the way I deal with others and with life — I aim to be kind and fair. And that’s politically progressive.

@amused
That’s inspiring!

Amused
8 years ago

@Jaygee

Amused, can I share your first comment on my facebook page?

Yes, of course!

Jesalin
Jesalin
8 years ago

This was in my fb feed earlier (courtesy of NSRAP, Nova Scotia Rainbow Action Project)

What to do if you’re trans and live in Ameria now:
http://www.themarysue.com/trans-in-america-2016/

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
8 years ago

One of my teachers just played a movie today (The Book of Kells, which is always lovely) and we made little zine booklets of happy and funny things.

I drew Thom Yorke smiling because he is adorable when he smiles, a kitten, and Mr. Yorke as a grumpy kitten, tea and my friends. So that was good.

A lot of people I care about are really sad and angry and it just feeds my own sorrow and rage. This hurt me, and this hurt people I love, which hurts even more. So many lovely people I like and my friends are scared. For their lives, for us. I think I’m right to be afraid for the lives of others and later, my own.

Unspeakable horrors can happen here. The genie has been let out of the bottle, and I can only hope we can stop him.

Edit: OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE WON THE POPULAR VOTE???? HAHAHA FUCK THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
8 years ago

Well, Domnhall Tumpus’ victory was the first thing I heard today and I just felt kind of numb. But well, I voted Hillary and that was what I could do. I’ve been playing Super Robot Wars OG 1 and also started a rather silly modern Pathfinder campaign recently. Also, DOOM, especially with the Demonsteele and D4D mods, is a lot of fun. Same with the Scythe 2 mappack. And yes I know that’s radically OT but I’m just trying to pretend everything will be okay right now. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Times will be tough for all my nonwhite, nonstraight, and nonmale friends, peers, and followers, but they’ve been strong enough to make it so far. I’m confident that they’ll be able to press on, and I know everyone here will as well!

Laugher at Bigots
Laugher at Bigots
8 years ago

I looked at the article that Jesalin listed, and it linked to one of Donald Trump’s old tweets from 2012, saying that “The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.” Perhaps ironically, this “disaster for a democracy” got him elected President against the will of the people. I’ll bet his opinion on the electoral college has changed since then.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

sometimes people can be unbearable but you can’t say it. The way I deal with that is to start acting.

That’s what I usually do. At work, you kind of have to keep political fights to a minimum. I keep it reined in around my grandmother too because she’s 91 and not going to change or retain much new information anyway. At the moment, I’m just not sure I can do it though.

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